Makin' it to the movies: how to become a porn star
by Rock Junkie and DikiCat
Summary: When you walk into a cloth shop, you'd never think that your life is about to change, do you? slash malemale, cross dressing, bookworm ,weasle and dumby bashing, minor BDSM and hot! sex. hpmulti, oocness
1. Ch ch changes changes

**Making it to the movies (a.k.a how to become a porn star) by Rock Junkie and DikiCat**

A/N: first story, no flames, R&R. Our beta is RockJunkie's father kill him if there are any mistakes.

Disclaimer: we don't own shit, just our crazy imagination and twisted sense of humor. All rights belong to JKR, but if they were ours, well let's just say you wouldn't want to know what will happen to them and the characters. Muahahahaaa!!! Evil grins.

'_Thoughts'_

"Talk"

"_Acting"_

**Chapter 1: chh….chh…changes... changes!**

"Get him!"

Harry quickly ran away from his bullying cousin and his gang. Once again when summer came, Dudley and his gang had fancied another game of 'Harry-hunting'. Luckily for him, his quiddich skills gave him exceptional stealth and speed. By the time the gang behind him turned the corner, he was already gone.

"Where did he go?"

"I think he went that-a-way!"

Harry sighed in relief as he heard the gang run past the store. He looked around the store that he had taken shelter in; it was a woman's clothing store as well as a beauty shop.

"Hello young lady what can I help you with?" one of the sales women spoke.

Harry looked around trying to see who she was talking to when he remembered that now that he had longer hair (he decided not to cut it), he looked more like a girl then a boy, but he still decided to correct her.

"I'm a boy".

"Oh sorry dear, is there anything I can help you with?"

Harry looked around. He was about to say no, when a very beautiful piece of clothing caught his eye.

"Just looking" He said.

The lady looked at him strangely, but didn't say anything. She walked away.

Harry walked to the clothes rack and looked at the skirt that caught his eye, it was made out of red leather with black markings on the bottom, for some reason they reminded Harry of runes, near the skirt was also hanging a matching shirt, it was long sleeved and made out of black silk, or at least appeared that way, a matching red leather jacket was attached to it. The outfit was clearly made for a girl but Harry couldn't help but think that it would look great on him.

_Great, I really have turned crazy if I'm thinking about wearing women's clothing..._

Harry was about to turn to leave the store, when it seemed to him as though the outfit called to him.

_Why not? It's not like it's going to hurt. _

He grabbed the outfit quickly so the other women couldn't spot him, and almost ran into the changing room, that was surprisingly empty.

After he put all the clothes on, and put his hair in a ponytail so it wouldn't get in the way (it goes all the way down to his upper back), he took a glance at the mirror, and stared.

_WOW, I look hot! _

He stood staring a bit more, and an amazing thought came to him;

_Hmm, I don't even look like myself anymore… I can even fool Dudley into thinking that I was just some bird. He's probably stupid enough to even come on to me. Of course, he's never even seen a girl in his life, so that will be even easier. Maybe if I stay this way all summer, my dear uncle and aunt will think that I've turned into a girl in some freaky magic way... Magic... I can fool the order! They won't go looking for a girl… _

And like that, Harry made his decision. Quickly grabbing several other clothes to try on, as well as several pairs of shoes, (and thanking Merlin that he remembered to change some of his galleons to Muggle pounds) he made his way to the beauty salon in the other side of the shop, still dressed in the first outfit he tried on. It was much easier for the hairdresser to give him the final touches.

"May I say, young lady, that you look quite smashing?"

"Umm… thank you?"

The hairdresser winked at him "now don't you go 'round thinkin' that you don't look great, 'cause honey, you look more than that".

Harry didn't want to blush, it just happened!

Several other women there nodded their heads in agreement, causing Harry to blush even more.

"Don't forget to come back here every once in awhile to get your now free beauty care, you desirable thing! You're the most successful project I've ever had! Not that I had to do much, you have natural beauty! "

Harry decided that he had enough of blushing, and winked instead. Unfortunately he blushed again when the hairdresser gave him a sexy grin.

"You know what darling? I have the most amazing idea! How about putting some stripes in your hair! Oh, and contacts as well! I mean you have the most amazing shade of eyes, why hide them behind those awful glasses? You can even change their color to something unique! Like… deep purple! That would definitely work!

There's an optical shop across the street, why don't you go get it done while I get everything ready for you? And not just dye, but make up as well. I mean with your shade of skin, you HAVE to know the right products to use."

Harry felt that there is no arguing with her. Besides, the more changes, the better. And, she was right. He would look even better at the end.

When Harry got back from the optician, he noticed that there were more women at the shop both old and young as well as a relatively hot guy, who looked like he was in his thirties, Harry ignored them and went to Lucy (the hairdresser told him her name before he left) to get his finish. After around half an hour full of teasing and blushing from both Harry and Lucy, Harry got up and was about to leave the shop when the man accosted him.

"Hey mind if I have a word with you?"

"What is it?" Harry asked curious.

"Well I am a movie director and I think you will look perfect in my movie"

Harry couldn't help but stare_, did he really say that?_

"Yeah, here's my card" he took a card from his pocket and gave it to Harry.

He chocked when he stared at the card, _no way… no fucking way! It just wasn't possible, a thing like that can only happen to me!!_

"The 'rising sun'? Don't they make..?"

"Porn movies? Got that in one."

"But…" Harry started

"I think you will look excellent and if you are worried about preserving your image its okay nobody looks into those kinds of things anymore, a pretty girl like you shouldn't worry about it"

"Still there is one problem" Harry was cut off again.

"What? you don't think that your parents will agree, that's okay I can convince them to let you play"

"No that's not it..." Harry started "my parents are dead"

"Oh" the director, Jonathan Keller the card said, flattered a bit but then quickly continued "I can make your guardians agree, trust me."

"No it's not that"

"Then what"

"I'm not a girl"

Jonathan stared at him "what do you mean?"

Harry growled and grabbed Jonathan's hand bringing it to rest on his crotch. The old ladies at the store, he noticed, looked at him shocked but he ignored them.

"Now you know what I mean?" he said to the shocked man with a grin.

Jonathan however turned out to be a bit different from what Harry thought.

"That's even better" he exclaimed.

"Huh!?!?" Harry stared at the man.

"You see our firm also makes gay movies and you will still be perfect to play in one of them"

Harry frowned. He honestly didn't mind playing in such a movie and said as much to Jonathan.

"Excellent, why don't I buy you lunch and we can talk about the details"

After the lunch with Jonathan, which was not only tasty but rather enjoyable, Harry made his way back to the Dursley's. Taking the long way there, he took his time to think about all that happened to him today.

_Whah, what a day... from being chased by Dudley to becoming a cross dressing porn star... not to mention a free meal with a hunk…I wonder what Vernon will think of my new look. Probably try and cheat on his wife with me or something... I swear he's just as stupid as his son. I can't wait till I turn 17 and I can get out of there... get a place of my own and-- _

Oomph.

Harry suddenly bumped into something head on. He took a step back, bringing a hand to his nose to rub it; he looked forward to see what he collided into.

It was a man.

A very familiar man.

_Oh my god! _Harry thought. He was shocked.

The man was Severus Snape.

"Watch where you're going, young lady!" Snape scowled at him, straightening his attire, which didn't look like robes at all. He was wearing a black, tight T-shirt with "**Come over to the dark side... we've got cookies!**" printed over it, black jeans and old fashioned black buckled shoes. His hair was not greasy, but looked well kept.

It was **so** weird seeing Snape in **Muggle** clothes!

Harry quickly got back to his senses.

"Well so-rry your **highness**!" He said, trying not to sound shocked or scared.

Snape suddenly grabbed Harry's arm painfully, bringing him closer, face to face.

"Watch your language, you insolent little girl!" Snape looked annoyed and tired. He kept shifting his eyes from side to side, as though looking for something, or someone.

"Well, with all do respect sir, FUCK YOU!" Harry wedged his arm away from a shocked Snape's grip, and walked away fiercely and quickly, with a huff.

He heard Snape mumble something about insufferable muggle brats but he kept on walking.

When he turned a corner to a different street, he stopped and leaned against a nearby wall. _Oh my god!! I just... I just cursed professor Snape! PROFESSOR SNAPE! And he didn't even recognize me! What the hell is he doing here anyway? _

Harry laughed mentally at the very good attempt Snape gave at muggle clothing.

_And what is it with his shirt??? Hmm, shame I didn't have a camera he looked hot, I did not just think that on Snape of all people. _

By the time Harry got to number 4, Privet Drive, the sun had set and it was dark. All the street lamps were on. He tried to go in from the front door, but it was locked. So, he went to the back. Sliding the glass door to the kitchen open, he quietly stepped inside and headed to the living room, where the stairs to the 2nd floor were.

Unfortunately, the room was not empty.

"Who's there?"

Harry froze. Great, this is exactly what he needed; Dudley. _Oh well, _he thought, _I'm going to have to show them the new me sooner or later._

He stepped into the light of the living room, slowly and with his hands up, as to not make his cousin think he was a burglar.

"Relax Dudley, It's only me."

"Huh? Who-ho a-are you-u?" Dudley was standing near the couch in the middle of the living room, holding a pillow loosely in his left hand beside his body, clearly thinking of using it as a weapon, his right hand holding a telephone receiver.

His face was red and sweaty, his expression shocked but mesmerized, like he just got his eyes and using them for the first time; his mouth practically touching the floor.

"WOW… "He breathed, his face getting redder and redder, "You're... You're HOT..."

It was all Harry could do not to fall to the floor laughing.

_I fucking knew it! He doesn't even know who I am! Incredible! _

Harry let out a little chuckle, winked, and moved closer to Dudley.

"Why thank you, Dudykins… But you see-"

He put a hand on Dudley's cheek, and Dudley gave a little small whimper. _Pathetic!_

"-I don't think that-"

He moved his face closer to Dudley's. They were nose to nose.

"-I'm quite what you're looking for."

Harry brought a hand up to his forehead, and moved his bangs to the side of his face.

"POTTER!!"

---TBC—

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rock Junkie: Hey, if we get more then five reviews each time, for every episode, we **might** consider updating less then once a week! Still evil!

DikiCat: who is 'we'? Don't you mean you? You're the one that holds the reviews and is evil…

Rock Junkie: HEY, I'm not that bad …. Yeah I am.

DikiCat: told ya so!


	2. Lights, camera, ACTION!

**Chapter 2: lights, camera, ACTION! **

(Disclaimer: first episode.)

"POTTER!!"

The voice did not come from Dudley, who by now realized who he was talking to, but from Harry's uncle, Vernon.

"What in the HELL did you do to yourself, boy?!"

_So he isn't as stupid as Dudley after all! He actually knows who I am! _

"I was just saying hello to Dudykins over here…"

He moved away from Dudley, and winked at him, so his uncle could see.

"Besides, I didn't think there is anything wrong with thanking him for calling me 'hot'... Thanks again Dudykins..."

"WHAT?!?"

Vernon turned sharply to stare at Dudley, who ducked his head in shamed embarrassment, before quickly turning to Harry.

"How dare you freak to change my boy into a… a freak like you" he growled and slapped Harry so hard he fell to the floor.

Harry stared shocked at his uncle, who too, locked shocked at what he did, but he unlike Harry got back to his senses. Grabbing Harry hard, by the same hand that Snape grabbed, and Harry couldn't help but thinking that he will have a bruise there. He dragged him into his room and throw him inside making Harry's head hit the bed post, Harry thought that Vernon will leave after but apparently the man wasn't finished.

Vernon quickly went to Harry and only managed to give him several hard kicks in the stomach and ribs, before Harry snapped out of his shock and anger took over.

"How DARE you touch me!!" Harry yelled at him, Harry didn't even let Vernon anytime to say something, before he continued.

"The next time you will even think about touching me I will kill you like this" he snapped his fingers and to his surprise as well as Vernon's the lamp on the bed side table exploded.

Vernon backed away quickly, scared.

"Now, go AWAY." Harry growled, making a shooing movement with his hand, and Vernon found himself being slammed to the outside corridor wall, the door being shut after him.

Harry groaned. He really shouldn't have lost control over his anger and use wandless magic against his uncle, even though the ministry can't sense it.

Over the past year (A/N he is now in the summer before 7th year) he had learned to control wandless magic in secret, practicing almost every night in the room of requirement as well as practicing some Occlumency and Legilimency skills. Even though Sirius turned out to be alive (Dumbledore and Snape managed to pull him out of the veil) he still thought that he should practice in case Voldemort decided to use that tactic again.

Now that Harry thought about it, a lot has changed in the past year. Not only did he change, both in attitude (he had no idea Sirius was alive until the first term of school ended, he only found out at Xmas when they were taken to HQ where he encountered Sirius, so he changed his attitude about everything that went on, he did not trust Dumbledore to care for him so he decided to take care of himself, like he always did) but also in the grades department ( he actually managed to score a decent amount of grades , surprisingly in potions as well).

Besides the changes in him the world was also changing, the ministry after realizing that Voldemort was back had decided to pass several laws and regulations forth;

**--from hence forth, the legal age a magical child can wield magic legally outside of school is now 16 instead of 17 (In other words, comes of age), this will take affect only after September 1st. **

**--As Muggle ties need to be strengthen, from this coming September 1st, all schools in Britain will be required to teach to ALL students, with no exceptions, Muggle Studies.**

**--There will be more hours of DADA with an emphasis on dark curses and beasts, as well as potions, as students need to understand how to overcome situations in which those two are used. **

**--Apperation will be taught as mandatory to all students over the age of 15. **

**--All muggleborns' families will be relocated to 'muggle safe homes' where they will be able to live safely. In the case that the family cannot be relocated, special security wards would be installed and emergency portkeys will be given. **

The last one, of coursedoes not apply to Harry. HE has to stay in this bloody house, because Dumbledore, the old fool, thought that he was safer here. With muggles who HATE him, he might add.

_Oh well... Such is life. All I have is two more weeks until my birthday. Only two and then I can get the hell away from this hell. Of course, the fool may think that I will actually STAY in this house for the other month but HE doesn't know that I can already apparate (thank you padfoot for the belated birthday gift!) and I can easily go anywhere I want, anytime I want. As long as muggles can't see me... as well as the fucking order… _

"Harry! Good to see you, I was afraid you wouldn't show up!"

"Oh no Jonathan, I wouldn't miss this for anything" Harry smiled at his new director. Once again, Jonathan looked absolutely edible. Dressed in tight black pants and a red shirt, with "I'm 100 natural… wanna check?" written on it, Harry really wished that he had thought to wear long and loose pants instead of what he had on now.

Dressed in a deep green, almost black shirt and a really short mini skirt (black with silver trimming, the perfect slytherin colors); it was really easy for everyone on set to see his obvious hard on.

"Came prepared I see?" Jonathan grinned and Harry blushed.

"So what am I supposed to be doing?"

"Well you are a young innocent student –"

Harry coughed; he didn't think that that was possible what with everything he did and all.

Jonathan either didn't noticed or just ignored the cough "— and your lovely teacher decides to punish you for skipping class"

Harry grinned; he really could imagine that scenario playing, with him and Snape as leading stars. At first Snape will probably yell at him and only after that he will think about punishing him, but then Harry's image changed, Snape with the same clothes Harry had seen him with last time, taking Harry and bending him over the table. At first kissing him and then spanking him, hard enough to make him beg and then when Harry's arse is raw and red he will take him hard and fast, making him cry and moan at each thrust.

Harry couldn't help but moan out load at that thought, and then blush madly when Jonathan looked at him with a knowing grin.

"I see you already know where this is going, huh?" Harry blushed harder and Jonathan laughed "just follow everything Kevin tells you to do, k?"

Harry nodded, "excellent, all right then Harry, just go over to the make up booth and our lovely Miss Lydia will make sure you are ready."

_"I have had enough of your skipping classes, Miss Sky!!" professor Gavin said looking at the girl in front of him._

_"Please sir, I'm sorry" Lilo started but the professor cut her off "I don't care, you are going to the headmaster's office to get punished"_

_Lilo gasped, "please sir, you can't…I mean my dad will kill me if I get expelled"_

_The teacher frowned "I am afraid I can't do anything about that"_

_Lilo however didn't give up and walked over to the professor who was leaning against his table "please sir, is there anything I can do so you won't have to do this, 'cause sir I promise I will do anything"_

_Gavin grinned "anything?"_

_Lilo nodded "oh yes sir, **anything**"_

_Gavin walked over to the teen and caressed her faced electing a shudder "well I suppose I could punish you myself as the headmaster is no doubt busy"_

_"Oh yes sir, please I would be forever grateful"_

_Gavin grinned as he grabbed Lilo's wrists pulling them behind her back. Licking her neck he whispered "so, do pretty girls like you know what to do? Or would you like me to teach?" Lilo shivered and moaned when Gavin bit her neck._

_"Oh please sir, teach me!" she moaned._

_The man laughed as he led her over to the desk, sitting down himself on the table. "Now come over to my lap, you've been a very naughty girl and I think you need to get spanked"_

_"Oh yes sir" Lilo shivered and hurried over to comply, Gavin growled "have I given you permission to speak?" _

_Lilo shook her head and waited for the first blow to come. But it didn't. Instead she felt his hands roaming all over her arse and slowly unzipping the skirt. As the skirt fell to the floor, cool air hit her most sensitive parts making her shiver. She gasped as she felt a hand sneaking over to touch her. The hand stilled._

_"My my, you are a special little girl, aren't you?" _

_"Please sir, don't tell anyone, it can be our little secret…" _

_The man chuckled and grabbed the now boy's hard throbbing erection that was pressing against his thigh. _

_Lilo moaned at the feeling._

_"Oh please sir... More…" _

_SMACK! _

_"Do you not remember that this is supposed to be punishment? And I didn't give you permission to speak! "The teacher snapped as he rubbed the sore cheek he had slapped. _

_"Now, I want you to start counting each blow that drops and thank me, and maybe… when I think I have punished you enough I might just even reward you…" _

_CRACK!_

"_One! Thank you…… sir."_

_CRACK!_

"_Two! Thank you, sir."_

_Tears were starting to seep out of his eyes._

_CRACK!_

"_Three! Thank you, s- sir."_

_CRACK!_

"_Four! Thank you, sir …"_

_Lilo's bottom was bright red, and it hurt like hell. Strangely, though, it felt… good? _

_CRACK!_

"_F-five… Thank you, sir …"_

_He was getting a hard on, and judging by the heavy breathing behind him, so was Gavin. Shame warred with pleasure. Pleasure won._

_CRACK!_

"_S-six…… T-thank you, sir …"_

_Oh, god._

_CRACK!_

"_S-seven! Thank y-you, sirrr..."_

_His cock was starting to throb, the pain in his arse turning into a warmth that was most discomfiting, yet arousing._

_CRACK!_

"_Eiiiighhht!!! Th-thank you, sir …"_

_OH GOD!!! The agony was all-encompassing, the arousal just as bad. He thought he could come just from that alone._

_CRACK!_

"_N-n-nine! Th-thank you…. sir …. Please…"_

_His shaft ached unbearably, demanding attention. His cheeks were wet with tears and little rivulets of sweat were mixed with them._

_CRACK! _

"_T-ten! Th-th-thank you, sir … please… more…"_

_A hand caressed his red, sore, and aching bottom, soothing it. Lilo moaned, spreading his legs wantonly._

_"More? More what? We didn't finish your punishment yet, so don't worry about more... But... since you were a good little slut, I'll just have to… prolong... your punishment... you will like it, I'm pretty sure. You might even learn something from this... "_

_Gavin continued to caress the boy's arse, slowly slipping a finger to his crack, making him moan. "God you're so tight" Gavin whispered "like a virgin" he continued._

_As the boy didn't protest, Gavin froze._

_"Are you?" he questioned._

_Lilo moaned and nodded, still remembering the 'no speaking' order._

_Gavin groaned "hmmm…this should be fun then" he grinned and started moving his finger again, adding another one after some time and scissoring them._

_Lilo buckled against him as the fingers brushed his sweet spot, "oh please, more" he moaned. His mind was already in the troughs of passion to remember orders._

_The fingers withdrew and Lilo couldn't help but mewl in protest. _

_Gavin chuckled, "get on the table, now!!" he commanded. _

_Reaching into the drawers of the table, the teacher pulled out a condom and lube._

_He turned toward the boy leaning on the table, his ass spread wide for all to take, he couldn't help but moan at the picture the boy made._

_Quickly putting the condom on and lubing himself up, he positioned himself behind the boy and pushing slowly inside._

_Lilo cried out at the first breech, yet Gavin continued burring himself balls deep, and only then stopping to let the boy adjust. _

_The boy took several deep breaths and nodded. _

_The teacher smiled as he started pushing in and out, in and out. The slow and gentle trusts turning into hard and fast ones, making Lilo groan and moan at each, as well as mumbling incoherently._

_Gavin sneaked a hand to pull on Lilo's cock, matching the pulls to his rhythm, until Lilo came gasping his teacher's name._

_It took only several more trusts before Gavin came as well._

_He pulled out and reached to the drawer to grab some tissues to clean them both off._

_"You know" he started, looking at Lilo who was starting to dress again "I wouldn't mind punishing you if you skip class again" he smirked._

_Lilo walked to the door, opened it but stopped before leaving, turning to the teacher she said "just remember, it is our little secret" before leaving._

"CUT!!! EXCELLENT, SIMPLEY EXCELLENT!"

Harry walked back to the set and sat on the chair with his name on it. (A/N how cool is that?!)

"That was very good Harry, you almost got ME pumping my dick off, and that's saying something!" Jonathan gave a small chuckle, "Oh man, one of my favorite parts was when you just nodded your head and groaned when he asked if you were a virgin. It looked so… real! That innocent look was perfect."

Harry reddened and ducked his head.

"Umm… that wasn't acting…" He mumbled, but it was loud enough for Jonathan to hear.

"WHAT?!? You WERE a virgin?? Why didn't you say anything? Do you know how dangerous this is?? He could have hurt you! And besides," Jonathan added, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder, "I thought that the first time should be special, with someone you love and trust…"

Harry lifted his head. "But it was special! We got it all on film! I don't mind, I would have lost it sooner or later…" he looked at the director in the eyes when he saw he didn't believe him. "Really, I don't. And I do trust him. And you, as it is. Do you think I would be here if I didn't? I didn't say anything because… well…" Harry looked down again, "I was embarrassed. I must have been the only virgin here for miles… "

"That's not the point! But still, if you're sure… "

Harry sighed. "It's not like we can turn back time you know…" _yeah, right_.

"Besides I don't think I would have wanted it any other way, 'sides it was hot I mean wow, I wish my teacher would have been like that" he giggled (in a very muscling way…..NOT!)

"Really?"

"Yeah, I saw him when I came back from lunch the other day and I bumped into him, literally. I was dressed as Lilo and he didn't even recognize me!" Harry laughed.

"Hmm, maybe next time you see him, you can try hitting on him or something…"

"I told the man to fuck off when he touched me, I don't think it will work out. Besides, he is a really uptight guy, literally. I mean I think the last time he had sex was when he was a teenager and that was ages ago." Harry exclaimed.

"Well then, it's your call. I still say go for it. You may never know… see you tomorrow, for final footage. Not that we need anything more, I mean, just like you said, it was hot. Oh, and by the way," Jonathan pulled a tube from his pocket and handed it to Harry, "best rub it on your ass, it's probably sore, I reckon."

Harry blushed as Jonathan walked away.

_God! I really need to stop doing that! There HAS to be a charm to stop these blushes!_

Harry walked out of the set with a smile and a sore bum.

---TBC---

Rock Junkie: write a review or I'll set Snape on you!!

DikiCat: But snape is so HOT! I want Snape set on ME!

Rock Junkie: Yeah, good point… Fine, than I'll set **Argus Filch** on you all! Muahahahaaa!!

DikiCat: AAAHHHHH!! Your evil!

Rock Junkie: Yeah, I know.


	3. MOM, DAD, i am a wizard

**Chapter 3: Mom, Dad, I'm a wizard**

(Disclaimer: in chapter 1!)

And that's how it went, wake up every morning, get ready, spend the morning shooting scenes with the cast and crew which he had learn to love and trust, then spend the rest of the day being avoided and ignored by the Dursleys. It suited him just fine.

One day Harry woke up earlier than the Dursleys, as usual, so he could shower, put on his make up and get dressed in his "freakish" clothes as Vernon calls them. Not that he actually says anything in front of Harry anymore. He's too scared of him.

When Harry got back to his room after his shower, fully dressed and with his contacts in place, he noticed that Hedwig was standing on his bed side table, a letter attached to her leg.

Harry took the letter, gave Hedwig some owl food and opened it. It read:

Dear Harry,

How are you mate? I hope your okay. Everything is fine with us. Well, as fine as it can be under the war threat anyway.

How are the muggles treating you? Mum says that they aren't feeding you enough. But that's what she says about everyone who keeps you more then a day away from her. She thinks everyone's too thin! I'm telling you; the second I got back from school she started stuffing my face with more food!

_Is that even possible?? _Harry snorted to himself.

Anyway... I know you aren't having too much fun there with your aunt and uncle, so how about coming over to the burrow? Dad and mum are going to talk Dumbledore into letting you stay with us. It'll be so much fun! We could practice quiddich and stuff, and celebrate your birthday. Hermione will be here too, she's coming over next week.

Oh, Ginny says hi (I think something's wrong with her Harry, she keeps getting that weird look on her face whenever your name turns up).

Hope to hear from you soon (and for the best),

Ron.

_Ron. _Harry thought with a scowl. _Ron. I can't believe that I thought he was my best friend. Shameless git. After everything he's done to me, he still acts as though we're close. Probably so he could tell everyone he's the boy-who-lived's best friend, sodding bastard. _

During last year, after Harry had finally mastered Legilimency and successfully got into Snape's mind undetected in one of his potions classes, he caught a fleeting thought coming from somewhere near him.

:::: Flashback::::

Harry just got back from Snape's mind, in which he had saw the most bizarre and hot memory of snape's first time, which Harry came out of, surprisingly red (okay not that surprising).

_Who knew that Snape had that kind of body, I mean yum._

**_'Wonder what that wonder boy is blushing about?_'** a thought came over to Harry's mind.

Harry froze; he started searching the slytherins minds as the thought was delivered with the hatred that Harry knew from the green and silver side of his class. But no, there was nothing there. Except for the fact that Draco Malfoy was crushing on Blaise….

(DikiCat: He's a BOY!! Why do people insist he's a girl! Blaise is a boy's name not a girl's honestly, oh and the fact that his last name is Zabini NOT Zambini, like so many people write. GOD, learn to read people. Now that I am over my little tantrum, the story may continue).

_HMM... That's interesting… I didn't know he's gay..._

Thought it was fun to learn about that, Harry continued checking who that person was, this time on the Gryffindor side. It was only when two people remained that he had known who it was. And he couldn't believe it.

_THOSE LITTLE BASTERD, how dare they!!? I'll fucking kill them and ring their necks!_

Harry growled as he figured out who the two miscreants were.

Hermione while she didn't broadcast the massage still weren't his real friend, as Harry had found out, she was being paid by that old fool, to spy on him and to make sure that he was a good boy and what not.

Ron was the one that the thought came from; apparently the little fucker thought that he could be famous if he will be Harry potter's best friend. The rest of the Weaslys (besides Ginny, Bill, Charley and the twins), weren't any better as Harry knew that Dumbledore USED them to keep him on the light side, it's not as though Harry had any problem with that, it was a great idea worthy of any slytherin, but it was the fact that the old coot forced him to be his weapon was what was bothering him.

:: END FLASHBACK ::

Harry got back to his senses when he heard the unmistakable sound of Dudley going down the stairs for breakfast. He looked at the clock and noticed that he was going to be late. He threw the letter aside and apperated straight to the set's bathroom. Thankful there was no one there; he straightened his clothes and walked out.

"Harry! There you are I was looking all over for you!" Harry saw Jonathan walking towards him and he quickly thought of an excuse.

"Sorry, I was in the loo"

"'Course you were. Now come on, we have the last shots to do. You know," Jonathan made a displeased face, "the before and after the sex scenes. All you have to do is walk through this corridor and…"

The shooting took most of the morning, as the some of the actors had to repeat a few shots. Harry had another sex scene in the end, a do-over of the one he had with Kevin, as there were parts that weren't long enough for the editor and needed extensions.

(A/N RockJunkie: No, we will not write about it now. It's not the point now! And because I'm evil! Oh, stop whining. There will be more sex later. Very good sex. )

After the last scene was taken, Harry got back to his chair and began taking off his makeup with his hand forcefully, making disgruntled and annoyed faces when the stuff wouldn't come off entirely.

"Harry, are you okay?" Jonathan appeared from behind him and gave him a towel. "You've been sulking all day. When you're not acting, that is. Is there anything wrong?"

"No… well, yes... But it really doesn't matter…"

"Oh come on Harry, you know you can talk to me. If something's bothering you, I want to know about it. And besides, you know that mood swings affect the quality of the acting. Not that it bothered you today, though, you were excellent." Jonathan smiled.

"Well… it's my 'best friend'…" Harry said those last two words with contempt. "He wants me to come over to his place for the last month of summer, but I really don't want to. See, I discovered that he wanted to be my friend just for more popularity and school fame. My other friend… well… she isn't a lot better then the first. Both of them don't really want me around, and are just pretending. How could I have been so stupid, thinking that people actually wanted to be my friends?" He lowered his head to his hands and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry; it just came as a big shock. And I haven't said anything to them yet. They still think I don't know. What am I going to do? I can't spend the whole month with someone I can't trust anymore… And all these troubles with my aunt's and uncle's house… "

Jonathan put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"I'm sorry to hear that you're friends are not what you thought they were. But Harry, don't let those shitheads get you down. You know you've got friends here, don't you? You can always talk to me."

"Thanks." But Harry didn't feel all that better. He still had to live with the Dursleys, which wasn't such a big improvement.

"Don't you have anywhere else to live? Like another family member or godparents?"

_Sirius. _Harry thought_. No, He's been sent by the sod to an order mission._

"No. My godfather isn't in the country. I have to live with the Dursleys. God, I hate them…" Harry felt a hand petting his head.

"Well… it's just a thought, but… How about living with me?"

Harry's head shot up and he looked at Jonathan unbelievingly.

"R-Really? I can go live with you?"

"I'll have to move a few things, and of course warn my sister and my niece, but yeah, I'll be delighted if you did. I'll understand if you don't want to, it is your family and home-"

But Harry cut him off.

"Are you mad?! Of course I'll live with you! When can I move over to your place? Where do you live?" (A/N reminds you of anything? Ten points for whoever guesses it right)

"Whoa, hold it a moment, one question at a time. I don't know if I'm mad. Probably, but we'll let the experts decide that. You can come over today, I'll drive you to your house and you can pack and then we can go, as for where I live its number fourteen, Grimmauld Place"

Harry froze.

_Damn! Just my luck. I get to stay with a hot guy, away from the Dursleys, and what's the down side? I'll live two inches from the bloody order! Will I EVER get away from them??_

_On the plus side though… did I already mention that I'm staying with a really hot guy? _

"Harry?"

"Just a sec"

Harry raised his hands, moving them as though he was using them as scales.

_Let's see… staying with a really REALLY hot guy… staying with a family that hates me. Finally having a real life with people who actually want you there… or staying with people who are using me. Risking my life and getting some action (hopefully)… or staying at that bloody house all day, getting bored out of my wits. Yeeeaaahhh… I think hot guy it is! _

"Harry… Harry!"

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, I'll definitely go live with you! I'll go get my stuff by myself, suspicious neighbors." _Annoying guard._

"You sure?"

"Yeah" Harry said as he walked out of the set.

Ding dong.

The door opened and Jonathan's face greeted Harry

"Glad you could make it, I already told Sarah about you. Julia, unfortunately, is out with her friends so I'll introduce you later"

Harry grinned as he entered the house.

"Jonathan, I can't find my black panties, do you know where it is?" called a voice from inside the house.

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"My sister. Ignore her."

"UNCLE JONNY!!"

The next thing Harry saw was a small, brown haired thing catapulting itself at Jonathan's stomach.

"UNCLE JONNY!! I'M HOME!!"

"Yes, I can see that." Jonathan sighed.

"Who's that?" Julia said, pointing at Harry who was mouthing 'uncle Jonny??' in amusement.

"Julia, it's rude to point. This is Harry Potter. He'll be staying with us for a while, until the start of school. So be nice."

"Harry Potter, isn't that a BOY's name? You look like a girl."

"I thought I told you to be nice, Julia! Ignore her; sometimes her mouth gets the better of her, just like my darling older sister."

His sister came into the room, and catching the last phrase.

"God, I'm only older then you by three minutes, so shut it!" she said, slapping him over the head. "You must be Harry… or Lilo, as Jonathan told me… he said you are one of the hardest working actors he's got, and one of the best. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you too" Harry said, shaking her hand.

"Well, I better show you to you're room… come with me." Jonathan led the way to a room in the back of the house. It wasn't that big, but rather cozy.

-

The next few days were, surprisingly, uneventful. This means that Harry, unfortunately, didn't mange to catch Jonathan naked. (Not that he didn't try…)

Yes, uneventful, until…

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!! UNCLE JONNY!! There's an OWL in the house!! He… He wants to give me a LETTER!"

Harry froze.

_Ho, fuck. They didn't find me, did they?? Ho fuck fuck fuck! _

Jonathan looked up from his newspaper and glanced at Harry's shocked face.

"Ho, ignore her Harry. She always tries to prank me like that."

_I wish_. "maybe we should check it out" Harry suggested.

Jonathan nodded and they went to the kitchen.

They were greeted by the sound of laughter.

"Oh my god, people are so pathetic!"

They sew Julia and Sarah giggling at something as an owl left through the window. When they noticed the guys coming Julia grinned and called to Harry that he got one to

Harry grabbed his letter and looked at the address:

Mr. H potter

The back room (Harry couldn't help but snort at that one)

Number fourteen, Grimmauld Place

London.

Quickly opening it and scanning the contents. Just the book list.

"Let me **guess**. You're also a **wizard** that has to go to **a magic school**?" Julia drawled, and all three of the Keller family burst out laughing.

Harry shifted uneasily.

"Well… actually…"

TBC.

--------------

people, a back room is a room in clubs (gay clubs, mostly) where people fuck. Good, no? And just to make you jealous in our town there is a club called 'The Dungeons' where there is just that and more going on there.


	4. Are you serious!

**Chapter 4: Are you serious?!**

(Disclaimer: in chapter 1!)

_"Let me __**guess**__. You're also a __**wizard**__ that has to go to __**a magic school**__?" Julia drawled, and all three of the Keller family burst out laughing. _

_Harry shifted uneasily. _

_"Well… actually…"_

-------

"Harry, you can't be serious."

"No, that's my godfather." He couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, the joke was lost, as no one understood it.

So, Harry decided to elaborate.

"His name is Sirius Black, you see..."

"BUT…" Sarah started and Harry cut her off, already knowing what she is going to say "no, he is not a murderer"

"Explain." Jonathan asked and Harry did so, starting from "you better sit down" and finishing with "and this is my life."

They all just sat there, mouths open and eyes wide. And if the situation wasn't serious (a/n: sorry, couldn't help it!) it would have been comical.

Sarah finally spoke.

"So let me get this straight. You're a wizard, you go to a magic school, you have a killer after you, who doesn't even care about endangering you and your friends in said school and you were almost killed every year while attending, right?"

Harry sighed. He knew they weren't going to believe him.

"Right."

"I see...-" Julia started

"-AND THEY ACCTIOALY WANT ME TO SEND MY LITTLE GIRL IN TO THIS SCHOOL?!?" Sarah exploded.

"Umm… yeah?" Harry said sheeply._ You tell some one that magic is real and that you are a wizard and that's their reaction?????_

"And how do we know that magic is really real? I mean what if this is just a prank?" Jonathan asked.

"Well... Julia, did things ever happen to you, when you were scared or angry? Anything weird?"

The girl had a thoughtful expression on her face before she had a dawning expression on her face.

"Yeah... But that could be just a coincidence!"

"Yeah? And this?" Harry snapped his fingers and the table they were sitting at turned into a pig.

The family screamed and jumped on the chair trying to get away from the animal while looking with shock, fear and some awe at Harry.

"You see, magic is real, and you, my dear," he looked at Julia "are a witch."

The girl was obviously shocked before a big smile tugged at her lips

"Really? But how? I mean, mom is not magic, right?" she looked at her mom, who was still staring at the pig, promoting Harry to change it back.

"What? No I'm not."

Harry got the hint and changed the table back. "Well, it's not unheard of, muggle-borns. My mother was muggle-born too. Uh," he added at their quizzing looks, "muggles are non-magic folks. There are pure-blood families that think that they are superior, because of their blood line, and they usually support Voldemort, the guy who's after me. But you don't have to worry about that," he smiled at Julia "your not the only one there. If you want, I can help you study. I know of a nice hidden place at the school where no one will find and disturb us."

Julia smiled too, her eyes sparkling.

"So can I go mom? Please?? Harry will be there, and I could study with him! Come on mom, magic is so COOL!" Julia pleaded and gave her mom a hopeful look.

"And what about that Voled... Voldie... Voldem... What ever his name is? The killer guy?" Sarah asked, looking a little hesitant.

"Hogwarts is the safest place there is in Western Europe, except maybe gringotts. The wizarding bank." Harry added quickly. "And besides, Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster, is the only man Voldemort ever feared. So, basically, you have nothing to worry about."

Harry looked at Sarah.

"I can take you all to Diagon Alley to get the books and stuff for school, if you like. Julia," he turned to her, "you will get your wand and supplies with me, and I'm going to be a seventh year, the last year there." Harry sighed.

_And then what? I'll be alone, just like I've always been._

"When can we go, mom? Please please please can we go??" Julia begged her mom.

"We can even go tomorrow, since it's our free day," Harry suggested. "But if we go there, I'll dress as Lilo, and that's what you'll call me, understand? I don't want people recognizing me and staring."

"Well… okay… but don't you run off on me young lady. You'll stay right next to me."

"Okay mom! I'll go get ready for tomorrow!" and Julia ran off to her room.

"Harry," Sarah said, once they heard the door to Julia's room close, "you said something about a wizarding bank... do they have there own money? We don't really have much…"

"Oh don't worry about that Sarah," Harry smiled weakly, "I have enough for five of her. And don't you refuse my money! It's the least I could do after you let me live here."

----------

They got to Diagon Alley in the afternoon the next day, the old fashioned 'go-through-the pub-and-the-back-door' way. Harry was dressed as Lilo, as agreed, in a short green mini-skirt, ankle-high black boots, and a deep aqua-blue tight tang top.

The new witch and two muggles were amazed to say the least, to see all of the shops, people, and creatures going around. As a matter of fact, Julia reminded Harry of him at age eleven, wide eyed and trying to look in all directions at once.

Harry quiet enjoyed the trip, moving from shop to shop and explaining things. They just got out of Ollivanders Wand Shop, Julia waving her wand enthusiastically in every direction.

"Julia, be careful!" Harry said after she had waved her wand too forcefully and accidentally turning the nearest trashcan blue. "Don't wave that around too much, you have to learn how to do magic first! Put it away for now, you'll hurt someone. Look over there," he pointed at a robe shop near by, "that's where you're getting clothes. Wanna get your school robs now?"

"Sure! And after that," she checked the list, "I'll need a cauldron. That's for potion's, right?" she asked, exited. "I can't wait to start on those…"

Harry chuckled. _Wait till you start potions... I'm sure you'll just 'love' Snape-_

**Oomph. **

Harry bumped into someone. _Oww… _

He looked up, to say sorry, when he realized who it was.

_De ja vu! No way! Not __**again**_

"Watch it you silly girl!"

"Well so-ry..." Harry mused, noticing that the man wasn't alone.

The man was Snape, this time dressed in robes, hair back to greasy. And with him--

_Oh fuck. _

--Was Lucius Malfoy.

"Lilo, come **on**! Let's go get the clothes!" a hand took him by the arm and he was dragged away by Julia. But not before he heard Lucius mutter something about mud-blood filth and saw Snape's **stare**.

_Obviously trying to remember where he's seen me before… what the hell is he doing with Malfoy anyway? That can't be good… and what happened to those wonderful muggle clothes he had before? He has to wear that at school…_Harry grinned to himself.

-----------

Once they got everything, Harry decided to take them back home in a way he thought Julia might enjoy- the knight bus! All the rattling and shaking got her exited, not to mention the speed of the thing. Sarah and Jonathan, on the other hand, got a bit annoyed.

"Lilo!" Jonathan shouted over the noise, picking himself off the floor for the sixth time,

"Can we get OFF this thing?!"

"We'll be there in just a mo' mister, jus' got to drop misses Grader… Bye misses Grader! Now, whe' was it ye wanted?" Stan shunpike asked, not looking concerned at the least that the man he was speaking to was glaring at him, annoyed.

"Number fourteen Grimmauld Place, please," Harry said hastily, wanting it to be over with as well.

"Righ' ya are. Say…" Stan said slowly, looking Harry up and down, "haven't I seen you befo'? You're pretty enough to be a muggle movie star…"

_Eewww! Is he trying to come on to me?! Eewww!!_

Trying not to look like he wanted to barf, Harry smiled weakly. He was grateful that a second later the knight bus stopped, on the middle the square at Grimmauld Place.

Julia grinned as the knight bus disappeared.

"I so can't wait to go on that thing again!"

"And you can keep on waiting, as we'll never ever go on that thing ever again!" Jonathan almost screamed at her.

"Oh fine, be a party popper."

"Come on; let's get the things in the house... And then you could explain more things to me that I didn't understand."

------

"So… what do you want to know?" Harry said as they sat down at the kitchen table.

"Well… remember when you said there are other muggle-born children that go to the school?"

"Yeah...?"

"Do they all have magical neighbors to explain all of this to them?"

"Now that you mention it, no. but you should have received in your letter a notice that one of the teachers should come over in a certain date to explain it to you."

"Oh the date, we need to send the acceptance letter" Sarah said, jumping from her sit. With Harry's help she managed writing something normal.

"Say that's another question that's bothering me; do they always give a week notice to this stuff?"

"No it's just, mmm, well you see" he looked at Jonathan "remember that I froze when you said where you're living is?"

"Yeah"

"Well the order, remember them, I told you about. Well, they live in number 12"

"There is no such building" Jonathan interrupted

"Yes there is, it is hidden under several magical wards, between 11 and 13"

"Oh"

"Yeah, and I think that because of those wards, the owl couldn't deliver them earlier."

"I see, and what about what we talked about before?"

"Oh, well, say… what is your husband's last name?"

Sarah frowned "he wasn't my husband. He died before we got married but I think it starts with a Z. Mmm, what was it? Oh, I remember, Zabini!"

Harry looked at her, "Zabini, huh? Well I know them, Blaise is in our school, but both of his parents are alive, so my guess is that he is in someway related to them, brother or something. So when the school records notice that a magical baby is born they mark what he is, a muggleborns, half-blood, pureblood. So probably, it marked Julia as a half-blood. And even though her father is dead, it acts as though the family is aware of the mother, and would probably make sure she knows about magic."

"I don't think he actually told anybody from his family about us... Something about acceptance and disowning, so you're probably right."

"So, do you have anything else you want to know?"

"Yeah, what about Muggle School, can she continue with it, get a diploma or something? You know, just incase things at the hog-thingy wouldn't work?"

"Mom, it's going to work out, why shouldn't it?"

"Still, I want to know"

"Well, no" he quickly added when he saw Sarah's sad look,_ she really like muggle school_!

"But if you want I could teach her"

"Really?" Julia started and Sarah continued "how far are you?"

"I'm already studding for first degree in several subjects"

"Wow, but how do you study for them?" all three were impressed

"Well I'm insomniac, and when ever I have free time I study. in order to check if something is right, you know in English or math I have a neighbor who's a retired teacher, and he used to check my work ever since I was 7 years old. And now that I am in school I just send Hedwig, my owl, to him with the papers and he checks them, he thinks it is a really smart trained owl"

"And he does that for free?"

"Well he wants to, but every summer when I get home I pay him a lot, I know he appreciates it, even though he doesn't like taking my money."

Harry felt like the day was perfect.

"Dibs on the shower!!" Julia screamed suddenly.

"Second!" Jonathan called out.

"Third!!" Sarah.

"Oh fine, then I'll go for a walk. Too bad the TV's broken." Harry said.

"Just be sure to come in a decent hour. I don't like the shady characters that wander around here at these hours." Sarah said, looking a bit worried.

"Yeah, like that guy that was walking around here... Remember mom? The way he just appeared out of no-where? And the way he was dressed?" Julia shuddered.

"You mean the guy who smelled like booze? Stay away from him."

_Hmm... I wander if it's dung…_

"Fine. You know I can take care of myself. I'll be back later. And hopefully," he added, staring at the girls, "I'll still have hot water."

--------

Harry stared at the house in front of him, the one that only he could see. He sighed.

_I have to ignore that place if I want to have a normal holiday. Well, as normal as it can be, considering whom I am. _

He started walking, not really minding where he's going. He got to the square when he noticed something. He froze.

"Nice doggy…" he said, staring at the big black dog that came to him, now sniffing his hand and waving his tale enthusiastically."Good doggy... umm... I haven't got any food…"

The dog looked at him with an expression that he got from Snape several times; it said "do-I-look-stupid?"

"Hehehe..." Harry said sheepishly, "if we talk somewhere… please don't kill me?"

The dog started walking, looking behind him as if to tell him to follow him. He followed.

They stopped in an alleyway behind a building that looked deserted.

Looking both ways several times, the dog sat down and started to change.

Harry was staring at his once thought dead godfather.

"Umm... Harry, just curious…. Umm... why are you dressed as a **girl**?"

Tbc.

--------

A/N: so, what do you think?


	5. Do you really have cookies?

**Chapter 5:** **Do you really have cookies?**

(Disclaimer: in chapter 1!)

**a/n: now we want to ask you something, feel free to answer (or not) why is it that when we checked from reviews we didn't have any but two, and yet over 200 people read our story, is it so hard to push a small button and review it, we don't care if you think it sucks and we should be hanged just for writing it, tell us dammit!!!!!!!!!!**

_----------_

_Harry was staring at his once thought dead godfather. _

_"Umm... Harry, just curious…. Umm... why are you dressed as a __**girl**__?"_

-------------

Harry smiled sheepishly at Sirius, who was looking rather confused but relived.

"Sirius..." Harry said slowly. "I'm so happy to see you! Umm... could we go talk somewhere more privet then this? I don't want people hearing us, and I don't want to cast spells in the middle of a muggle street…"

"Fine, let's go somewhere more private."

"Like where?"

"My house. Or rather," Sirius smiled "your house. I never did change that will after I came back."

"Grimmauld place?? But!! I've been trying to get away from the order all summer! What if Dumbledore recognizes me? And sends me back to the Dursley's...or maybe……" Harry rambled.

"Whoa, Harry, hold your skirt down. First of all Dumbledore isn't at HQ at the moment, and he'll only return later for the order meeting. You know how Dumbledore is; he'll probably leave right after. He's a busy man. If he comes back early, you'll just stay in my room."

"Oh. With you? On your bed? Alone?"

Sirius really looked frightened now.

"Harry…?"

"Uh. Sorry, habit." The boy smiled sheepishly. "Well, let's go then. I don't want to be caught by even more characters around here."

They walked over to number 12, which materialized by itself, growing like a balloon between the two houses on ether side.

Without knocking or ringing the bell, Sirius opened the door and let Harry in.

"We finally got my dear old mother off from the wall," Sirius said quietly. "So you can speak as loud as you want, but I wouldn't if I were you, since you're not really 'known' around here." He smiled.

"Now up you get. We only have about two hours until the order meeting, and by the state of you, I'm figuring it's going to be a long story."

As they went up the stairs, Harry saw that instead of the usual dead house-elf heads there were pictures of flowers and country-side views, and instead of the portrait of Mss. Black, there was a big ugly painting, of what looked like a gibbon with two black eyes.

Harry stared.

"It was Fred and George's idea. Molly didn't like it much, but the twins insisted. Said the house had to have a picture of its owner, and its way nicer then the old hag, anyway…" Sirius smiled.

"Not to mention the stronger sticking charm they came up with. Molly tried everything; wouldn't come off." Then he added, "You know, if you squint your eyes hard and not really look at it, it DOES look like you."

Harry punched him in the arm and walked on.

"I can't believe they actually kept that thing…" he murmured to himself. Sirius chuckled behind him.

------

Sirius closed the door behind him.

"Now. Are you going to tell me **why** exactly I found you wandering around in women's clothes?"

Harry sighed.

"Well, you better sit down."

Suddenly, the door opened, and the second person closest to his father entered the room.

"Sirius, there you are, I was looking for you—"

Then he noticed Harry in the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I interrupt somethi-" he stopped. Then he sniffed the air. His eyes became wide, staring unbelievingly. And then he sniffed the air again.

"Ha-Harry?!?"

Harry gave a small sheepish smile.

"Um... hi?"

"Harry!"

----------

THIS IS WHAT'S CALLED A 'CLIFF HANGER'. ENJOY!

----

Kidding!

-----

Still kidding!

----------

"Harry!"

Pause.

"I think?"

"No you don't!" Sirius sniggered.

"Shut it, Black!"

Harry giggled before turning serious. (a/n: really funny, those jokes. No?)

"I know you want an explanation so here it is," and so Harry told them all about his summer adventure.

When he finished they stared at him.

Harry frowned, "what? Is there something on my face? Is my mascara running?"

Ramus turned to Sirius as though saying 'you're his godfather, you deal with him'. Sirius nodded and turned to Harry.

"I have two things to tell you," he started, his voice low and hard "first of all I can't believe you did this."

Harry ducked his head, even though he thought it was fun and all, he knew he would have to face the real world sometime.

"Second of all…" Sirius suddenly grinned. "I can't believe you did this!" he was bouncing up and down, like an excited kid in a candy shop with a pocket full of money.

Ramus glared at him "that's not what I meant Sirius; you're supposed to tell him about how irresponsible what he did was. Not to reward him for it."

"But Moooonny" the dog Animagus whined "think of all the things he did, we were looking everywhere for him for almost two weeks, and here he was all this time under our noses."

"Yeah, but still, he should be with us, safe, not wandering around porn sets making movies with who knows what kind of people getting all sorts of muggle diseases and foot funguses walking around naked."

"Foot funguses?? What the fuck's that??" Sirius laughed.

"You know what I mean! I don't want him to get hurt!"

"I won't!" Harry exclaimed. "Jonathan and the others are very good to me; we're very discreet and clean. Besides, as long as I work there, I have a place to live. And I really like the new look." He added.

"Well, as long as we get to see you often and-"

"Sirius! Ramus! The meeting is starting, Albus is here!" the voice of Molly Weasley came from down satires, interrupting Ramus.

"Oh shit! I've got to get out of here!" Harry bolted to the door, and opened it stopping a second to hear Sirius calling after him.

"No wait! If you get out there you'll be seen-"

Another shout came from outside the door.

"SIRIUS! RAMUS! Do I NEED to get up there?? FINE! Severus, YOU go!"

Harry cursed, quickly hurrying down the stairs.

_Damm damm damm…. If the old coot catches me, I'm a goner. _

Due to the fact that he hadn't watched where he was going, Harry, again, bumped into the last person he expected.

**Oomph. **

This time Harry fell backwards, his back hitting the stairs painfully.

"Ugh…"

"Watch where your going, you little-" Snape stopped and stared at him.

"You again! What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too..." Harry replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Third time's a charm…" he then muttered.

"WHO are you?" Snape asked again forcefully.

"I'm... Here with Sirius..."

"BLACK! WHAT IS THIS MUGGLE DOING HERE?!"

"I'm right here, you know, no need to shout." Sirius appeared behind Harry followed by Ramus, and helped him up. Then with a small oh-this-is-gonna-be-fun smile, he added "and she's no muggle."

"You're magical?" the other man asked, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

"Yes, I'm magical, obviously." Harry answered. And he wasn't lying. He **is **magical. He just didn't say which **gender**.

"You will do better to pay attention to where you are trotting off to." Snape said irritably. "Didn't I tell you to watch where you're going?"

"Didn't I tell you to FUCK off?"

Sirius laughed in surprise and looked at Snape. "You two know each other?"

Harry smirked. "Why yes. I ran in to him a couple of times. Literally."

"Still an insolent girl, I see," Snape sneered. "I want to know why you're here, Miss!"

"And **I** want to know why you're not wearing that cute little outfit I saw you in the first time we met. That shirt** really** looked good on you!" Harry gave a mischief-filled smile. "Do you really have cookies?"

"Brat." Snape mumbled, and looked away, suddenly very interested in the painting beside him on the wall.

Harry's eyes widened, as did his smile.

_Is he... blushing?? _

It was hard to tell, in the dim light of the hall.

"Now this is interesting..." Harry heard Sirius comment from beside him, "Care to share with us, Snape?"

"Why you little-"

"Severus! Why is it taking you this long to fetch Sirius and Ramus? Is there a proble- Well hello, young lady, who might you be?"

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit._

Albus Dumbledore had just appeared behind Snape, looking slightly impatient, but his face changed to surprise as he saw Harry.

"Albus, I was on my way to get these two when **she **bumped into me."

"Yes, I see. Who are you miss, and what are you doing here?"

"My name is Lilo Sky, mister…"

"Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore. Charmed." He took Harry's hand in his and kissed its back, while looking intently at him.

_Eww eww eww! _

"And what is a lovely young lady like you, doing here, in a place like this?"

Harry cringed inwardly at the obvious muggle pick-up line.

"I'm…. uh…-"

"She's my date for tonight… but I forgot to tell you I have a meeting tonight... sorry Lilo..." Sirius faked an apologetic look and then bowed his head in well faked shame.

"It's okay…" Harry smiled at Sirius, "we can go some other time. It's been really nice being here with you…" he made to go downstairs and leave, but Dumbledore blocked his way.

"Why don't you join us for dinner? I'm sure the order won't mind. In fact, the meeting will be shorter tonight then usual because of the smaller amount of people coming."

While Dumbledore was saying this, Harry felt him trying to get into his mind, in order to verify his story. _So,_ Harry thought, _you want to see who I am? Here you go…_

-------------

_Gasp._

_'Oh yes… Mmm…oh god… '_

_'You're a special kind of girl, aren't you? Taste so good... ' _

_Lick._

_'Mmm! Uuhh…now… please…'_

_Moan. _

_'Please what, Lilo? Tell me what you want.'_

_'Ugh… Fuck meee! Pleeeasssse…' _

_Chuckle. _

_'As you wish…' _

** A/N: End the memory here? Or add more? Maybe one-shot?**

-------

"Mister Dumbledore?"

Dumbledore was not responding.

"Headmaster! Hello??"

Sirius waved his hand in front of Dumbledore's face.

Still no response.

"Do you think he's had a heart attack? I mean at his age…" Harry wandered aloud, looking concerned. (Only looking, though.)

Severus only just managed changing his chuckle into a cough that however didn't past by Ramus who grinned

"Did you just laugh!!???" he asked incredulous, causing the man to glare at his tone

"I did no such thing."

Harry grinned "well if you did (which of course you didn't) it was a very cute laugh"

And here goes that blush again!

"I have an idea!" Sirius said with a grin. He turned to the stunned man.

"Dumbledore!! Help! They took all you're lemon drops!!" he screamed making sure to put the right amount of shock and care into the words (the latter however he failed), and shook him roughly.

Dumbledore snapped suddenly, making Sirius fall over on Snape.

"WHAT!! HOW DARE THEY!!"

Multiple things happened at once. Dumbledore took out his wand and jumped at every noise, trying to determine who it was that stole his candies. Snape smirked and dropped a handful of Sirius from himself and Harry and Ramus were busy rolling on the floor shaking with laughter.

"Huh?" Dumbledore stopped in his search for the candy-napper and looked around, dazed.

"Where's the… uh… what?"

"Mister…. Dumble… Dore… you…" Harry couldn't finish he was laughing so hard.

"Yes. Well. Sorry 'bout that. Where were…" then he stopped when he realized exactly why he stopped earlier, and blushed crimson at the thought of it.

Harry grinned as he stood up _that will teach you to mass around in strangers minds_, he mentally snickered at the thought that this was the only action he had seen in a long time, as his, ahem, things don't work anymore, but then he frowned remembering that the Weasley twins were rather adamant that they had saw him and professor McGona…. _Hold it right there, Potter _he stopped himself, shuddering at that thought.

"Are you okay professor?" Ramus said, brushing a tear a joy from his eye. He grinned at the fact that Sirius, intentionally or not, fulfilled one of their marauder's oaths.

**Prank professor Dumbledore at all costs.**

Sirius seemed to come to that realization as well, from what Ramus gathered by his next words.

"Moony! We've only got three more and we'll win the ultimate prankster award!!!"

Ramus grinned. "Yeah, that's right!"

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked, looking curios but confused.

"Oh, nothing…" Sirius said with a fake innocent smile. "I'll tell you later!" he stage whispered.

Dumbledore smiled at them all, and pretending that nothing happened told them to hurry up for dinner.

-------

Harry winced as he entered the kitchen where most people were. Molly frowned at him and asked "I'm sorry, but who are you dear?"

Harry winced at the deja-vu feeling that he just had. Before he could answer the twins placed an arm on each of his shoulders.

"Now mom, don't tell me you don't know Lilo Sky," one of the twin exclaimed with a fake shocked look.

"Yeah, mom, she was that hot little babe that entered Sirius' room two hours ago," the other twin cut in.

"Yeah you should have heard what we heard coming out of that room, completely amazing and unbelievable." the first twin finished with an evil grin sent Harry's way

"You heard?" Sirius asked

The twins grinned "oh, we heard"

"Every word"

"Every moan"

"Every shout"

"Everything."

Sirius paled; "it wasn't what you think!!" he tried defending himself

The twin on Harry's left grinned "why? What is it that you thought we were supposed to think you were thinking, when we said what you were doing?"

His twin on the right smiled "try and say that three times fast"

Harry on the other hand frowned "what you did hear and that got you thinking on what we were now thinking on what you think we were doing there is nothing"

The twins smirked at each other and high-fived.

"Told ya he- …err **she** could do it right," one of them said.

The other glared at the first in warning for a second, then turned to Harry again.

"So, Lilo…" he said, "may offer you some of our products? I **know** you've heard of us."

"Fred! None of this commercializing now. We are going to eat soon." Said Mrs. Weasley sternly, "Besides, she's not interested in rubbish like that. Right, dear?"

"Actually, I've been meaning to go to the Weasley's Wizard's Wheezes for awhile now. I heard your shop is loaded with practical and useful things." Harry smirked as he heard Mrs. Weasley huff in annoyance and saw Fred wink at him.

"Well, come on then, up to our room, where the fun never stops!"

"Be quick about it, we eat in ten minutes!" Mrs. Weasley called after them as they climbed up the stairs.

-----

"Well well well… I know that you were into adventures but who knew you were into **those** kind of adventures…" Fred started walking behind Harry and circling his waist with his arms.

George smirked and walked toward Harry "We already knew last year that he liked it kinky, we should have realized…." With that both started to devour Harry, Fred planting kisses on his neck as well as love bites, while George devoured his lips, making his knees buckle, so if it weren't for Fred who still held him, he would have collapsed to the floor from all of the sensations.

Harry only managed a muffled "mmm humm…" before George dropped to his knees and took him whole in his mouth, causing Harry to cry out.

Fred had silenced him by kissing him hard enough to bruise, making Harry moan, he was really close now and …….

"WILL YOU BOYS GET DOWN TO DINNER AT ONCE!!????" Came the shout of Molly Weasley from downstairs, causing George to pull off of Harry with a pop and to Harry to groan with disappointment.

Fred just grinned at him "that's what you get for coming over with those clothes"

His twin grinned "yeah, who knew you would look so hot wearing women's clothing?" he quickly kissed Harry on the lips, making Harry taste himself a bit, as a second call from Mrs. Weasley came.

"Shit, you two are SO coming over to my place tonight…" Harry grumbled as he tried to fix his clothes to a more presentable state. "Do I look okay? Is my hair messy?"

The twins smirked at him. "Oh yeah, your hair's fine... But we wouldn't go downstairs with **that**." they pointed at Harry's midriff. Harry frowned, and looked down. Then he saw his rather small- or **big** problem (depends how you look at it) sticking quit noticeably from under his skirt. His eyes widened.

"Oh fuck!" Harry cried desperately. "You have to help me think of something that will make this go away!"

"McGonagall?"

"Dumbledore?"

"Together?"

"With Umbridge?"

"On a bed?"

"In a bikini?"

"With a vibrate-"

Harry cut in.

"Okay stop before I hurl."

-------

A/n: as we are sure you noticed, there is a question up there, SOMEWHERE (pay attention!) And we were hoping that you will tell us what you think. But don't be disappointed if we don't oblige if you say yes; as we are planning something GREAT (Hint hint, nudge nudge, check the last sentences above- no, not the ones with McGonagall in them. **Yuck) **

**See you! **


	6. I'm an actor!

**Chapter 6: I'm an actor!!!**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

(So..?)

Harry sat the table Fred and George on both sides, which was a bad thing for Harry as they decided to torment him by placing their arms on each of his thighs, and not moving them, at all!!!

"So…" molly started" I haven't heard of you at all, and as you are a witch, and friends with the twins, I figured that you go to Hogwarts."

"Oh, I don't go to school. I'm home schooled. My guardians don't believe in those kinds of things."

He paused.

"Oh shit, I forgot to call Jonathan and tell him that I won't make it…" Harry turned to Dumbledore. "Do you have a phone?"

_oh of course he won't have a phone, it's the bloody ORDER. _He thought to himself, and that's why he was surprised to see Dumbledore nod.

"Over there." He pointed at a red phone in the corner of the kitchen Harry didn't notice before.

"We have muggle-borns working for us too, and they need to keep in touch as well. I must admit, it is faster then owl or Floo." 

Harry nodded and got up from the table, making the twins hands fall down from his thighs.

Reaching to the phone he quickly dialed the Keller family number and waited until someone answered.

_I really need to get my self a cell_

"Hello, Keller residence" came the voice of Jonathan.

"Hey, Jonny it's **Lilo**" Harry emphasized his name without making it too obvious "listen I'm over at Sirius' place because of the date we had tonight"

"Date?? Oh I didn't know you planned on tonight" Harry was glad that Jonathan was an actor, before becoming a director, and so knew how to catch on to things and make them sound believable.

"Yeah but he had to cancel as he had a meeting, but his boss invited me to dinner with them."

"So you're staying with them?"

"Yeah, at least for dinner"

"Lucky you, at least you won't have to suffer Sara's cooking , I mean sure she's my sister and yeah I love her, but her cooking sucks ass"

Harry laughed "you could just order take out" he pointed out and suddenly heard a dull thump sound, followed by a shout of "what? It's true"

Harry laughed again even more, when he heard Sara demanding to take the phone from him "hey Lilo" her voice greeted him

"Hey, did you hear what I said to Jonny? Right, good. So I'll try to be home in a reasonable hour"

"Fine but don't do anything that I would do" Harry grinned "what get drunk while having dinner at your parents' house?"

"How do you know...? Oh right Julia, but I didn't mean that although that is a good advice"

"I know and don't worry"

"See ya later then"

"Bye"

Harry hanged up the phone, and turned back to the table, only just noticing that there were more people at the table (meaning his ex best friends and more) and what's more, they were all quiet, making him realize that they were listening to his conversation.

"What?" Harry questioned and suddenly the conversions flow out freely as if nothing happened. Harry was about to take his sit again, when he noticed that it was occupied by Ginny who was giving him a curios look, before her eyes widen and she stared at Harry, shocked.

Harry realized she figured who he is, somehow, so he gave her a small wink and mouthed "later" at her.

He saw Ginny look around and saw Sirius giving her a meaningful look and nod. So did Remus. Fred leaned over to Ginny and whispered something in her ear that caused her to look even more shocked for a moment, and then turn a brilliant Weasley red.

Harry sat quickly in the only free sit, next to Snape.

"So why don't your guardians believe in school….? " molly asked trying to get back to the conversation they had.

"They don't really believe in anything they don't classify as in normal, so I moved in with Jonny, a family friend and my boss"

Molly seemed surprised "oh, you work?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably " yeah, muggle movies, I'm an actor", the twins snickered quietly making molly frown. Tonks didn't notice and perked out, "really? What kind of movies?"

Harry was saved from answering when the twins couldn't keep quiet anymore and burst out laughing.

"Honestly, what is the matter with the two of you?"

While Mrs. Weasley berated the twins for their 'lack of manners', Tonks looked at Harry in interest.

"So, how did you and Sirius meet?"

Harry looked at Sirius, who was too busy stuffing his face with food.

"Umm… I met him in a club I go to from time to time. It's called 'the shack'."

Kingsley smiled.

"I think it's great that you finally have a steady girlfriend to go out with and relax, have fun, you know?" he said to Sirius, who started choking on the words 'steady' and 'girlfriend', Especially in connection to Harry.

"She's not my girlfriend." Sirius breathed out, still half choking.

"Oh? Why not? I thought you said she was your date?" Snape suddenly asked from beside Harry, startling him.

"We were going as friends, you know? Not lovers."

Harry heard Sirius mutter. "Nope, defiantly TOO weird."

Tonks looked fascinated now.

"Why not? Sirius looks completely hot!"

"Thanks Tonks, but I don't favor incest."

"Well then, why not?" Tonks said, unperturbed by Sirius' comment.

"He's not my type."

He saw Tonks give him an insistent look, and the rest of the people around him stare at him. So he blurted the first thing that came into his mind.

"I'm GAY."

Okay so it was more like a shout then actual talking.

He raised his head to see everyone's reaction, Ron and Hermione were giving him disgusting looks _'like I care, what they think'_, molly and Minerva were chocking on their food and drink, respectively. Dumbledore looked even more shocked then when he saw Harry's memory_, 'probably because he realizes that the memory he saw doesn't fit now'_ , Fred ,George and Ginny, were giving him smiles of encouragement, so were Sirius and Ramus, kingsley looked shocked, while Tonks gave Harry an apprising look.

Harry looked sidewise and he saw Snape. Snape had a blank expression, but for his eyes, who showed hidden curiosity.

"I think I'm gonna skip dissert. Look at the time; I have to go home now. bye!"

Harry got up quickly and went to the door. he thought he heard a voice say "I'll take you to the door" but he didn't stop to see who it was.

When Harry got to the door, he stopped a second to take a breath.

_Great going potter. Not only have you almost got caught by fucking Dumbledore, but now they think I'm a fucking __**lesbian**_

"Lilo!"

Harry turned around and saw Snape behind him, looking a bit out of breath.

"Mr. Snape! Umm... what do you want?"

"I'm curios. You said you were gay, but… you didn't seem to have an attraction to any of the girls at the table," Snape paused. "And even if you did try to fix yourself up," Snape's eyes were now at level with Harry's, "you still looked like you had '**fun**' with the Weasley twins. Why did you lie?"

"I didn't lie."

"Then how come-"

Harry got an idea. Before Snape could finish, he took Snape's hand and placed it on his crotch.

"**That's** how I can be gay."

And he left Snape there, shocked.

---------

A/n: we're sorry it's this short, but we think this is a good place to stop. What do you think?

Ppppllllllllleeeeeaaaaasssee review? (We're not above begging)


	7. FUN? you have no idea

**Chapter 7: fun? You have no idea. **

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

(NC-17-ness ness)

-------

A/n: okay, first off, we're really happy about this particular chapter. You'll see why ;). Secondly, we are SO happy we got reviews! It just made us work on this chapter harder, which brings me to our thirdly: sorry it took us this long. We're both suffering from end-of-year-exams, and, well, we can't write together everyday and bla bla bla... did we say we really appreciate your reviews?

Thanks!!

Oh, and enjoy. )

**Rock Junkie and DikiCat**.

--------

Harry lay in his bed, waiting for the water to heat for his shower. He was still dressed as Lilo.

_God, I can't believe I let Snape touch my cock! My very… hard cock. I'll have to fix that later. But he does have great hands… probably from all those poisons he makes. I wonder what he'll do now… _

There was a crackling sound at his window. Harry ignored it, thinking it was the tree bumping its branches on the window.

_Maybe I should go back and visit 'Sirius' tomorrow. I'm sure he'll be happy to see me. _

He got distracted again by the same crackling in the window, only this time it was louder. He went to the window to check it out, but saw nothing.

He turned around to go back to bed, and suddenly screamed in fright when he saw Fred and George standing right in front of him.

"Thank god for silencing charms." Fred said.

"Yeah, I think I'm turning deaf, you know?" agreed George.

"You prats! How did you get here?" Harry asked, a little annoyed.

"Sneaked out."

"Through a window Sirius mentioned."

"Ginny's covering for us."

"Actually, it's kinda funny how we got Sirius to help….we'll tell you later."

"Well, you look like you had a long day,"

"Yeah, and you're still hot." Fred agreed, and Harry smiled.

"Oh by the way, how DID you hear the conversation I had with Sirius?" he asked.

"Extendible ears, great little things, aren't they?" George said, getting closer to Harry, "But don't worry, this room's covered."

"Already hard for us, I see…"

Harry suddenly felt a finger running down his spine, and shivered, only to be caught in a hot, lip piercing kiss.

Hands, so many hands, stroking everywhere, under his shirt, his skirt.

Harry moaned, his back arching for more touching.

Fred stood behind him and laid soft kisses on his neck, hand roaming over his back, lifting his shirt to feel the soft skin.

George, still kissing him almost desperately, rolled Harry's nipples with his fingers and together with Fred, suddenly pulled his shirt up roughly and tossed it to the corner of the room.

"Mmm" Harry moaned again as Fred pinched his nipples and rolled them in his fingers, stopping the kiss for much needed air.

"Are you sure we won't be interrupted?" asked the twin behind Harry, slipping his hand inside the 'girl's' underwear and squeezing a cheek.

"Completely." Said the other, and took a nipple to his mouth, causing more moaning.

George went down Harry's body, kissing along the spine slowly and deliberately keeping the kisses light.

"Ah..." Harry cried softly when George lifted the skirt, pulled the knickers down and started licking His crack.

At that Harry's skirt came off and he stuttered forward, knees weakening. He was caught by Fred's arms, and was kissed hotly again, before kisses were sprinkled all over him, flaring his senses.

"Please…" Harry breathed. "Oh, god, mmm…"

"Bed." one of them grunted, and Harry found himself pushed back and guided softly to the bed, where he was laid down on his back, legs opened wide.

He could feel one of the twins licking a way from his nipples and down, Fred that's who it was. He moaned when he took his cock in his mouth, "please" he begged as Fred continued to torment him.

Harry cried out as he felt another touch on his cock, he opened his eyes and looked down. Both Fred and George were licking and sucking him, he groaned out loud at the hot picture they made.

It was like they were two 6-year-olds, sharing a lollypop. Sucking, slurping, licking and swirling their tongues, occasionally touching each other's, all the while grinning and humming their appreciation for the taste.

Harry arched of the bed when he felt a tongue prodding his crack, and screamed when it caressed and prodded his hole. He tried opening his eyes to see who it was but every time he managed to open them, he had to close them again from the intense pleasure that was brought from either the mouth on his dick, or the tongue in his ass. Fuck it, it might have been both at one time, he lost count.

"Guys, please I have to…" it was the only thing he managed to say, but before he could finish, the tongues left him.

"Oh no Harry, not yet. We're not done with you…"

"Not after how you came in earlier, dressed like that."

"You have no idea how **hard** we've been for you all night…"

Harry raised himself on his elbows to stare at the twins in astonishment.

"And that '**talk**' we had before dinner? You almost killed m- gghhaa!"

The twins pounced back on him again, the attack of their tongues renewed, making all attempts for clear speech vanish.

"Mmm…" Harry moaned as yet again a tongue had gone lower to his opening, and another swirled around the head of his cock. A hand went up to his nipple, pinching and rolling it and then the other.

If Harry had bothered to lift his head and look down, he would have seen the twins catch each other's eye and nod.

"Aaaahhhhh!!!!" he screamed, feeling an intense heat surround his cock at the same time as he felt a finger breech his ring of muscles and touch that wonderful little spot inside him, now turned two fingers, repeatedly nudging and rubbing against it.

A tongue started licking at his balls while all this was happening, making Harry shudder and babble incoherently, and lose control.

He came with a scream, arching his back, toes curling.

The twins licked it all up, and then sat beside him on the bed.

"Mmm… that was nice. You're so beautiful when you come, Harry…"

"And you taste so wonderful…so tight…"

It took Harry a few minutes to come down from his high. When he did, he stayed where he was, lying on his stomach, spared wide. It took him another few moments to contain the power of speech.

"Wow…"

Fred and George chuckled.

"I take it you enjoyed yourself?" one of them asked in amusement.

"Uh-huh…" Harry said dazedly, a big satisfied smile spreading on his face.

"Would you believe it, if I said that I haven't got **that** done to me before? That was brilliant!" (A/n: we meant the whole BJ and finger-fucking at-the-same-time-thingy)

"Really? After all those films you were in?"

Harry shrugged.

"Well, my movie star, you're about to get some new script ideas… George, dear brother, did you bring it?"

"Why of course I did, sibling-o-mine, how could I forget?"

Harry lifted his head, again, curios to see what they were talking about. But he just got to see George get off the bed from the corner of his eye before he was occupied again by a pair of red-hot lips, slamming his head right back down.

He gasped when he felt a wet hand curl around his cock, he opened his eyes and saw that Fred had his arm around him, and George slicking up what looked to be a black stick. Harry blushed when he realized it's a black leather dildo.

"Now Harry, I think you'll get an entirely different feeling with this" George said.

Harry smiled and moaned when Fred pushed two fingers inside him, he buckled when his prostate was brushed.

"Fuck" he cursed when a third finger entered him.

He heard a laugh and a voice saying "oh, don't worry, we plan to"

As the fingers withdrew, causing Harry to groan, Harry felt something much more thick then them push at his entrance. At first he thought one of the twins was fucking him, but then he realized it was the dildo that was entering him, because it was doing something that a real dick can't do; it vibrated. He flushed with the realization.

"You look so hot like this" a voice whispered in his ear.

"Ahhh…" Harry moaned, as the dildo switched angles and touched that great spot again, and kept ramming against it.

He opened his eyes that he didn't even notice he closed, when he heard weird squashing and smooching sounds. What he saw made him groan even louder.

Fred and George were kissing and grouping, undressing each other hotly. Harry then realized that the dildo was fucking him long and deep all by itself, and just the thought of that, the combination of what was happening to him and with the very arousing view in front got him closer to release. He started panting, moaning, groaning and mumbling incoherently.

"Yeah, mmm, god, right there… so close- ahhh…" the last one was a sigh of disappointment, as the dildo suddenly stopped.

"Uh uhh uhhh Harry…" said one of the twins mischievously, "we're still not done with you. You will come only when we say so. Understand?" and with that, they both raised their wands (a/n: the kind that is made of wood, not the flesh kind) and swished.

Harry gasped as he felt something wrap around the base of his cock and balls, and the dildo going back to its rhythm, only now more intense. Not in speed, but in pleasure power.

"Uuhhhh… wha-ahhh?"

The twins grinned.

"That, Harry, is a cock ring. Just to make sure you don't slip. And as for that," Fred pointed at Harry's ass, "if you haven't figured it out yet, is a magical dildo. It'll do what we want, how we want it, and it will do it with a pleasure boost that you won't believe."

At first Harry was confused at what exactly 'a pleasure boost' is, but as the twins raised their wands, Harry understood. It heightened the sexual feeling that he would get from a regular one.

His breath became ragged as he was fucked mercilessly, though he still begged for "harder, faster, please more"

Fred stared at his other lover, as he was muttering incoherently. He held Harry head as he pressed his cock at Harry's open mouth, Harry opened his eyes for a second to see what happens before he closed them again, and sucked on Fred's cock as enthusiastically as the twins has done on him before.

George smirked at the picture they made, he wasn't joking when he said earlier that evening that Harry liked it kinky, the seeker had always had a curiosity to learn new things, and to please. And those two help so much in a sexual relationship.

George walked behind his twin, and slipped a finger inside him, making him moan at the feeling. As he continued finger-fucking Fred, his twin's trusts into Harry's mouth became faster and harder, making both him (Fred) and Harry to moan in appreciation.

When George felt his brother was ready enough he took his fingers away, and before Fred could finish his disappointed groan, he entered him in one thrust, causing his twin to buckle hard and scream in pain-pleasure.

Harry moaned hard around Fred's cock as he felt Fred speed his strokes on his cock, which he didn't even notice was grabbed by him again.

The dildo was still fucking him, hitting his prostate with every stroke, hard.

Harry arched of his bed with a scream as he came hard in Fred's hand. The twin who felt the cock in his hand erupt, got so turned on by that, as well as the vibration Harry's moan gave, that he came as well in Harry's mouth. Harry swallowed him clean.

His brother feeling Fred's muscles clenching around him, had to give only several more trusts before he too came.

As they all laid after in their bed resting (the dildo inside Harry stopped moving but remained inside him) the twins suddenly laughed.

"What?" Harry questioned sleepily

"We knew you were powerful Harry," Fred started

"But we didn't knew you were **that** powerful" his twin continued.

Harry stared at them confused so George decided to elaborate with a grin "you broke the cock ring we had on you." Harry looked down and blushed when he saw that indeed he had ripped the ring off when he came.

"Well **that's** new…" Harry stated, and then grinned, "I'll have to put that on my list of abilities; Super mega come, able to break cock rings with a single orgasm!"

The twins laughed, and Harry yawned.

"Stay for the night?" he asked in a sleepy voice, but before Fred could answer, he fell asleep.

-------

"HARRY!!"

Bang bang bang.

"HAAARRRYY!!"

Harry ground softly, shifted a little, but fell back to sleep.

"HARRY! Wake up!! Uncle Johnny's really mad, you left the boiler on all night! And you promised to show me more wand tricks today!!"

Rattle rattle rattle.

"Harry!!"

Bang bang bang.

Rattle rattle.

BOOM.

With a start Harry sat up in his bed, his hand automatically going for the space under his pillow to get his wand, at the same time.

Only, his hand slammed into something solid and slightly sticky on the way, and something heavy fell from his chest to his lap.

Harry looked down and saw an arm. He looked to his right and saw a chest.

"Errmmm…" the body to his left said in a groggy voice.

"Wha'sgionon?" said the body to his right sleepily.

"Wow, you didn't just go for a walk last night, did you Harry?" said the girl that was now standing at the door, amused.

"Julia…" Harry said, still a little hazed. Then his eyes widened as he realized exactly where he was and exactly **who** was there with him.

"Oh fuck..."

"Gladly, Harry, but not in front of the child."

"Hay! I'll have you know that I'm eleven years old and know **precisely** what my uncle does for a living." Julia retorted, still amused. "And if you don't want me to call my mom and get **her** to make you get out of bed, you better get up **now**!" she left.

George was the first to break the shocked silence after that.

"Nice kid"

-----------

**A/n**: Well, what do you think? Just to let you know, this is only my (rock junkie) second time at writing a sex scene ever, and of course, DikiCat gave lots of great ideas, as usual.

Did we make your little fantasy come true?

Review!! Please??...


	8. sugar me!

**Chapter 8: sugar me!**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

TA-DA! We're back!

So R&R!

(no, we didn't abandon you, stop crying!)

---------

Harry Fred and George got dressed and cleaned thanks to a few well preformed cleaning charms. They headed down stairs, following Julia who waited for them in the hall.

They walked, surprisingly, silently. Julia didn't say a word. But as they turned the corner to the stairs, Julia sent Harry this look, that said '_you better tell me what happened or else!_'

When they got to the bottom of the stairs, they saw Sara standing with her back to them, peeking in to the next room, her body moving slightly to the loud music coming from within.

Suddenly, Sara turned around and noticed them. She put a finger to her lips, signing to be quite, and pointed to the kitchen.

Love is like a bomb…

They went to stand behind Sara, and peeked in to the kitchen with her.

(Bomb... bomb…)

Harry had to put a hand to his mouth to keep himself from laughing out loud.

Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on  
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone  
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp  
Demolition woman, can I be your man?

In the middle of the kitchen, dressed in only his boxers, was Jonathan.

He was dancing and spinning to the beat of the 80's song, a pan in one hand and two eggs in the other. Singing along with the tune, he broke one egg in mid-air and poured the yellow and white into the pan, now over the fire. The other egg he broke over a bowl.

Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light  
Television lover, baby, go all night  
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet  
little miss ah innocent o-sugar me, yeah!

Jonathan twirled, jumped to the fridge, and bumped his butt against the door a couple of times with the beat. Opening the door, he took a carton of milk in one hand and a cucumber in the other. He jumped again, closed the door with his leg and sang into the cucumber like a microphone:

Yeah!   
C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up  
Break the bubble, break it up

He put the milk and the cucumber down, took a knife and started to chop the veggie to the beat.

Pour some sugar on me  
Ooh, in the name of love  
Pour some sugar on me  
C'mon, fire me up  
Pour your sugar on me  
Oh, I can't get enough 

He moved his hips, in a very seductive way, took the milk again and poured a lot into the bowl with the egg, his hand moving in an up and down motion, matching his hips.

I'm hot, sticky sweet  
From my head to my feet, yeah

At those words he put the milk down again, stuck his hand in the sugar jar, took a hand full of sugar and throw it into the bowl, then licked his hand clean.

Taking a towel to dry his hand off, he spun on the spot, took the towel in both hands, spread his legs and started rubbing his crotch with it, back and forth.

Listen!

Red light, yellow light, green-a-light, go!  
Crazy little woman in a one man show

Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of a-love,  
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

Loosen up

He thro the towel to the chair in the corner, took the carton of milk again, jumped, bumped his ass against the fridge door again a couple of times and opened the door. Putting the milk back, he took some bread and chocolate syrup.

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little  
Tease a little more   
Easy operator come a knockin' on my door  
Sometime, anytime, sugar me, sweet  
Little miss oh-innocent sugar me, yeah

Harry and the others were really enjoying this. They're feet tapping to the beat, smiles on there're faces.

Harry even heard Julia 'ooh!' when Jonathan took peaces of bread out of their bag, and, spinning, throw them backwards into the bowl, all the while singing and moving his hips.

Taking another pan out of the cupboard and onto the fire, Jonathan started soaking the bread into the mix in the bowl, and then moved the peaces onto the pan.

He flipped them in the air a couple of times, still singing.

Take a bottle, shake it up  
Break the bubble, break it up! 

He took the chocolate syrup bottle in his hand, shook it with the beat, then opened it and squirted some into his mouth, making a mess on his face.

Pour some sugar on me  
Ooh, in the name of love  
Pour some sugar on me  
C'mon fire me up  
Pour your sugar on me  
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet  
From my head to my feet, yeah

Jonathan licked his lips, then, noticing he didn't get it all, smeared it on his hand and licked it clean again.

"Mmm…" Harry heard Fred (or George) from behind him. He had to admit, this little show **is** quit... interesting...

Moving to the sink, he cleaned his hand with water and grabbed another towel. As the guitar solo started, he twirled it around over his head and bounced around, turned on the spot, thro the towel to the chair in the corner and grabbed three fruits from the basket on the table.

You got the peaches, I got the cream  
Sweet to taste, saccharine  
'Cus I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet  
from my head, my head, to my feet

He juggled the fruits for a bit, put them back on the dining table, and going back to the egg cocking on the pan and the French toasts, he took each pan in one hand, flipped them in the air at the same time (Harry thought he'd miss but he didn't, and there was another 'ohh' from Julia), then took a the knife again to chop a tomato. Moving his hips backwards in every down-beat, he scoped the veggies into another bowel and put it on the table.

Do you take sugar? One lump or two?

Suddenly something whistled, and Harry saw that Jonathan also boiled water.

Jonathan put the steaming water on the table.

He took the sugar bowl again, lifted it in the air, put it on the table too, and then jumped into the air, pointing at the ceiling.

Take a bottle, shake it up  
Break the bubble, break it up

Jonathan started making the table, taking plates and cups out of the cupboard and putting them in they're place.

Pour some sugar on me  
Ooh, in the name of love  
Pour some sugar on me  
C'mon fire me up  
Pour your sugar on me  
Oh, I can't get enough

Pour some sugar on me  
Oh, in the name of love  
pour some sugar on me  
Get it, come get it!  
Pour your sugar on me

Ooh!  
Pour some sugar on me

Yeah! Sugar me!

At the last words Jonathan sat on one of the chairs backwards, one hand pointing at the ceiling above his head, the other holding a juice bottle like a microphone.

"Wwhhhooo!!!!" Julia shouted as soon as the song was over, and stared clapping enthusiastically. They all joined in, cheering and clapping as Jonathan got red with embarrassment.

"You... saw all of it?" he asked.

"Yup, and you rocked!" Julia smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Umm... thanks." He said shyly. "Well, come get breakfast…"

"You were right Harry," one of the twins said suddenly from the door.

"He **is** delicious." The other twin finished.

Harry chuckled, but then Jonathan shouted

"Julia??!"

"Yes?"

"Am I on any medication??"

"Not that I know of, but maybe you should be, after what we saw." Sara answered instead. "Why?"

"Cus' I think I'm seeing double!" he said in a slightly whiny voice.

Julia, the twins and Harry laughed.

"Nope, there are two of them all right. And I was wondering, Harry, who are they?"

The twins stepped forward, bowed, and took one of Julia's hands each.

"Fred,"

"And George,"

"Weasley." they said together.

"Master pranksters, trouble makers extraordinaire,"

"Owners of 'Weasley's wizard wheezes',"

"And old friends of Harry's from school." They ended, again, together.

Julia looked at them, astonished.

"Do they do that often?" she asked Harry warily.

Harry laughed. "Yes. A lot."

"So what brings you here?" Sara asked.

"Oh," said Julia, with a wicked smile "they were in Harry's bed-"

"-Err, they came for a visit by surprise, and since they didn't have a place to stay, I let them sleep over." Harry interrupted.

"Yes, thank you Harry," said George.

"We would have been rather, umm…" said Fred,

"**Desperate**, without you." George agreed, with a wink.

Sara coughed.

"Yes, well," she said warily, "Let's have breakfast, shall we?"

They sat down around the table, while Jonathan added two more plates and cutlery to the setting.

"Well, since it seams-" said Fred, as they sat down,

"-That we'll be eating in this lovely house,-" said George,

"-We would at least like to know you're names,-" continued Fred,

"-for future references and plain comfort, of course." Concluded George.

"Oh, right," Harry said quickly. "This is Jonathan Keller, the singing dancing breakfast maker," he sniggered at the red faced cook, "also my boss and friend. He's letting me live here for the rest of the summer."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Keller," greeted Fred, shaking his hand over the table.

"Thank you for having us," said George, also shaking his hand.

"I have to say, though," continued George, "that show…"

"Was quite…" said Fred.

"Appetizing." They said together, giving Jonathan a lustful stare.

The rest of the occupants at the table tried to stifle a snigger at the slightly confused look on Jonathan's face. He never did get the 'subtle' hints that hopeful lovers gave him. He just didn't notice. Jonathan got them almost every day at work, not that the mood from the set helped at all, and he would move on, oblivious. He just didn't get it.

Not that it didn't amuse the people around him. There even was a bet around the actors and crew, who will be the one to make the hint that will get Jonathan to blush. Even Harry was in it, with no success, not that he didn't try; he did almost everything he could think of, short of appearing in his bedroom naked, hungry for the taking.

"Uh... Thanks…" Jonathan said after a few moments, shrugging and scratching the back of his neck. "Call me Jonathan."

"I'm Sara, Jonathan's sister, and Julia's mother." Sara said shaking there hands in turn. "You said you are friends of Harry's from school? Hogwarts, right?"

"Uhhh…" the twins looked at Harry, surprised for a second, but then had the look of discomfort they had every time someone said Voldemort's name.

Harry smiled and explained.

"Julia here – you've met her- is going too, this September. We've got her all her books and everything. Oh, that reminds me," Harry smiled sheepishly at Julia, "I was supposed to wake up early and teach you some more wand movements and stuff. I'm sorry; I forgot when I got unexpected guests."

But the twins didn't look at all apologetic.

"A new Hogwarts student you say? Well, well, well…-"

They both had evil grins that spelled absolutely no good.

"-We'll just **have **to speak to you later."

Harry laughed, and wiggled in his seat a little.

"Oh, you just have to hear about the pranks they pulled!" he said, reminiscing, "especially during my fifth year."

"Really what did you do?" Julia asked.

The twins grinned, as one of them raised a hand and waved it offhand "oh you know the usual, turned a whole corridor into a swamp"

All but Harry gaped at them "and how did you do that?" Julia asked and the twins smirked "why with magic off course"

Harry laughed at the girl's red face, it was obviously not what she wanted to hear, but that's what you get for asking stupid questions.

"I know, but how?" she whined

"Trade secret" one of the twins spoke

"We'll have to kill you if you found out" the other said with a grin.

"Ohh, I can still remember Umbitch's face…" Harry said reminiscently.

"Who's Umbitch?" asked Julia, wandering if that was her real name.

"Oh, she was our defense against the dark arts teacher. Horrible woman. Her name was Dolores Umbridge."

"What do you mean, was?"

"She got pranked so much…" Harry laughed, gasped, then sat still. "One day... well, I don't want to talk about the reason, but me and Hermione, one of my best friends, led her into the forest... And, well, let's just say she had a nice conversation with a herd of canturs. She got a bit too jumpy to teach after that. McGonagall sure was happy 'bout that."

"And who's McGonagall?"

"Transfiguration teacher. Bit strict, but she's fair. And nice- when she wants to be."

Julia kept asking about the teachers, lessons and pranks, all throw most of the meal, Harry's face turning steadily red, seemingly from laughter.

He and the twins had a great time reminiscing. They told her everything- except for a few things, like the map, of course.

They were just laughing about the time that the twins charmed Snape's cloak to sprout bat wings and fly away with him in it, at the middle of a Hufflepuff-Slytherin game (a month and a half of detention, but it was worth it), when-

"And who's Snape?"

"Potions. Bit of a git, really. Greasy hair, big nose, favors only his house."

"Sounds like a wanker."

"Julia! Watch your language!" Sara scolded her.

"Mom, I have an uncle that does **porn** movies, and you want me to watch my **language**?"

"-Speaking of Snape, Harry," said George, cutting Sara off from her retort, "what did he say to you after dinner? We saw he went after you."

"Yeah," said Fred, "and he came back to the table all shocked…"

"Oh, he met me near the door, wanted to know why I lied about being gay." Harry said in an amused voice. "He said I looked like I had too much 'fun', when I was talking to you two upstairs to be a lesbian."

"So what did you do?"

"I showed him how I can be gay." Harry smirked.

"How?"

"I put his sexy hand on my cock,"

"Oh my god!" exclaimed George, wide eyed.

"You didn't!" said Fred, equally shocked.

"Yup, did. Then I just left him there, so I don't know how he took it."

"Well…. Now that you mention it…" George said thoughtfully, "he DID kinda look… pinkish…"

Julia giggled. "I can't wait to meet this guy!"

"And OH!" said Fred after a moment, "when we went upstairs after the meal, Snape left first, and we heard **moaning** from the bathroom when we past by!" he was wiggling his eyebrows at him. "Think it was him?"

Harry licked his lips unconsciously.

"Hmmm… Maybe. I can just see him now… wander what he'll do if he sees me again…"

"Why don't you find out?" asked George. "Come back with us again. We have to get going anyway, mom will be asking about us soon…"

"Well… I suppose I could go… saying I came to see Sirius… but then-" he looked at Julia, "I won't be able to teach you new things today… I'm sorry…"

"Wait, you said this Snape guy's gonna be there?" Julia asked.

"Umm… I think so, yeah," said George. "I think he said something about a meeting after lunch today, a big meeting."

"Then I'm going with you!" declared Julia. "Can I mom, please?"

"Well… I'm not sure that's a good idea…" Sara said with a stern look on her face.

"Oh come on, mom," Julia pleaded "I'll see my teachers, get to know them before school!"

Sara still looked hesitant.

"Mom, you know how important it is for me to fit in, in a new school, and if I get to meet the teachers, I'll be more comfortable! And besides," she added, "I'll be with Harry the whole time. I'll be safe with you, won't I be, Harry?"

"Of course." Harry answered. "She'll be fine. As long as you'll call me Lilo around them, and don't mess up," he looked at Julia warningly, "it'll be ok."

"I won't mess up, I'm used to calling you Harry or Lilo depending. So can I go? Please?"

"Well… fine. But I want you back for dinner!" Sara said.

"Ok, let me just change into my Lilo clothes and I'll be right down." Harry said before getting out of his seat and climbing upstairs.

"Come on Julia," said Fred.

"Let's wait for him by the door." finished George.

When they got the front door of the house, Fred and George bent foreword, so they were the same height as Julia, and whispered in her ear.

"That was quit slytherin of you, pretending to want to know the teachers-"

"–When you only want to know **one** of them, and learn more about-"

"-your sexy, soon-to-be potions master."

"Yes?" said Julia, not knowing where this is going.

"We want to make a deal with you."

"What kind of deal?"

"Obviously, your slytherin material. That's what we're looking for-"

"-a spy on the inside. We need a pranker."

"Oh? What's in it for me?" Julia asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"First accesses to our merchandise, which you keep and use on others, all our-" Fred looked at George for conformation, George nodded. "- all our first year notes, including Harry's,"

"-we'll talk to him," said George.

"-and a free delivery, of prankster and normal sweets, every week." Finished Fred.

"Why do you need pranksters in school? You've finished." Asked Julia, a bit suspicious.

"We need a prankster to test our new stuff on unsuspecting innocent students." Explained George, "If the prank worked, you say something like 'oh, isn't that the new thing from Weasleys wizard wheezes?' and the next thing you know, we're flooded with buyers."

"Yeah? I want five percent of all the sales you make from the stuff you send me on top of all the other things you said." Julia said confidently, her voice turning business like, "Also, I cannot guaranty that I will test your merchandise in a pre set time, like every week or so. I will do it in my own time, depending on homework or tests. I will, however, guaranty that most of your products will be tested by me. If I get caught, punished and or expelled, it will be entirely your fault, and you will pay my mom for enrolling in a normal school. But," she added as an after thought, "I will do my best not to get expelled, though I'll need some help in finding my way around and hiding places."

The twins looked at her for a few moments, shocked.

"Wow Fred, we really picked a good one! Ok, Just as long as we get detailed descriptions on the effects of each product, and the reaction of the crowd. We'll expect a letter at least every…" George thought for a moment, "two months or so. Agreed?"

Julia raised her hand. "Agreed."

Fred shook her left hand; George shook her right, all of them grinning.

"Then we have an agreement! Welcome to the WWW crew!" they said together.

"The WWW crew? I didn't know we were a crew," said a voice from behind them, "and what is this about an agreement?"

They turned around.

Behind them they saw Harry- or Lilo, depends who and where you are, in deep red dolly shoes, knee-high white socks, a blood red with black markings mini skirt, and a black string top, that has 'sugar sweet' written in white on it. His hair was tied up and showed a lovely creamy neck.

The twins wolf whistled in unison.

Julia giggled.

"Lilo, what are you trying to do, make the boys around you brainless?"

"Maybe just for a while, 'til I'm done playing with them…" Harry said with a wink at her. "So, what was this about the WWW crew?"

"Oh, we just got ourselves a little helper..."

"-we'll tell you about it on the way,"

"But now we have to go, or mum's gonna kill us."

"I thought Ginny was covering for you?" Harry questioned as they left the house

"She is, but how long do you think she can take with mum's nagging" Fred asked.

Oh so true

"So how did get Ginny to agree to covering for you?"

The twins shared a grin, "oh you know" one started "we told her you'll help her with her dating prob"

"What dating prob. I thought she was seeing Terry Boot?"

"Oh she was..."

"But turns out…"

"The blokes gay"

"Poor Ginny" Julia muttered, even though she was trying to hold her giggles in.

"So I take it I have to help find some poor bloke to satisfy her" Harry frowned

The twins smirked "actually, gin-gin doesn't swing that way..."

"Yeah, turns out, she was just lying to herself" he answered to Harry's bewildered look, "Bats for the other team."

_Wow, I never thought that about Ginny, makes you think what else you don't know about people._

"So… who am I suppose to help her be with?"

"Don't know" George shrugged.

Harry rolled his eyes, before he remembered his other question.

"So how did you get Sirius and Remus to help you sneak out?"

The twins froze. Blushed and then smiled.

"Well…."

"You see…."

----FLASHBACK----

Fred and George were walking along the hallway, on there way to Sirius' room.

"If there's another way out of this place, Sirius'll know. He did live here…"

"Yeah, but how can we make him let us go? He'll tell mom."

"We'll think of something, maybe prank products?"

They approached Sirius' room and knocked.

No answer.

"You sure he's in there?"

"Yeah, I asked Tonks."

They knocked again.

"Maybe he's asleep."

"Well, we'll have to wake him then. _Alohomora_!" Fred whispered, and the door clicked open quietly.

A husky voice came from inside.

"Mmm, so good…"

Fred and George looked at each other. They weren't expecting this.

"More, please, Ssssiriusss-uhhh..."

Sliding through the crack they made in the door, the twins sneaked in the room. The sight before them made them gasp soundlessly.

"So tight…you like that?"

In the middle of the room there were Sirius and Remus, both gloriously naked, their sides to the door. Remus was bent over the back of a large black leather couch, and Sirius was behind him, on his knees, with his head right in Remus' ass.

"Yesssss! Please, oh god! More…"

Sirius licked his hole in earnest, sliding a second finger in while stroking Remus' back soothingly.

"Uhhh…"

"Not yet, love. I want to do this right."

With a third digit, Sirius licked the top of Remus' crack and slipped his fingers further in with an upwards angle.

"Ah! Sirius, **Now**!"

Fred and George just stood there, transfixed. They wanted to go visit Harry, but, they thought, it could wait.

"It's been too long moony…"

Oblivious to their **new** audience, Sirius stood up, leaned forward and pressed his torso to the other's back. Finger's still moving inside, he licked Remus' ear and whispered "are you ready for me?"

Remus shuddered, and then growled very loudly "Yes, dammit, fuck me! Cock, in me, **now**!"

"As you wish…" Sirius whispered. A moment later his fingers were replaced with his hard red cock.

He slid in slowly, enjoying the sensation of being surrounded with tight pulsing heat.

"Oh yesssss… god, so GOOD!"

Sirius waited for a moment, got a hand to Remus' chin, tilting his head sideways and back, to make him look at him.

"I love you…" he whispered, barley heard, looking deep into his eyes. Then, without waiting any longer, he moves, hard, fast, passionately and lustfully, hitting just the right spot, over and over.

Close, so close now. He grabs Remus' shaft and rubs it in his hand, faster, rougher, tweaking a nipple with the other, bending his head down to lick and nip an ear.

Panting, moaning, **gasping** for air, they speed up desperately for release.

"Come for me…" Sirius whispers in his ear, and then licks a line from under his ear down his neck. Remus shudders and comes hard, screaming his pleasure and love for his lover.

"Fuck, YES!"

Sirius was not far behind, the convolutions and heat around his cock squeezed the orgasm right out of him, in one big star-seeing bang.

They crashed against the back of the couch, Sirius on top -and still- inside him, trying to regain their breath. Remus turned his upper body toward Sirius, and they kissed passionately.

"Well, THAT was definitely interesting," said George loudly from the door way.

The couple jumped with a start, squawked, separated, then dived to the floor and crawled behind the couch to hide. Well, at least Remus did; Sirius dived in the wrong direction and landed on the couch itself, head first. His legs followed, in an arch over his head, and landed on the floor, making Sirius fall with them, ending up on his ass, on the floor, legs sprawled in front of him.

"Ouch" he moaned

The twins snickered.

"Tell us Remus, we thought we might have imagined it…."

"But did you actually curse???" the twins questioned with smiles on their face.

The only part of Remus they could see was blushing.

Before they could manage to say something else, Sirius got up; apparently he didn't have any problem with voyeurism.

"Fuck, I thought you two were Molly" he said as he went to the bed and picked his underwear that lay on the lamp on the bedside table, (the twins wondered how it got there), and wore them.

"What do you two want anyway?" he asked as he threw a robe to Remus who quickly put it on.

"We wanted to go visit Harry" one of them started

"And to ask you of a way to sneak out"

"Without our mom figuring it out"

"But when we saw what you were **up** to…"

"We thought it could wait."

"See, we had this **problem**" both toke a moment to stare down before looking up again.

"-That we hoped Harry could help fix,"

"But when we came to ask you for help,"

"You weren't exactly helping, if you know what we mean…."

Remus coughed to hide a grin "what exactly did you two think we could help you with?" he paused before adding "and how long were you two standing there watching?"

"Long enough to really be desperate for Harry's touch"

"We came here for the help of the kind, noble, and quite amazing Sirius…" his twin winked and added "you can say that again." they grinned as they stared shamelessly at Sirius' still naked (except underwear) and oh-so-lovely body.

"You think I'll help you after scaring us like that?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow, "and why should I let you break rules?"

"And to think, you two thought we were **mom**," Fred drawled.

"Maybe we should call her up here right now," continued George.

"And **show** her what's keeping you from helping her? Oh," Fred added with a small evil grin, "what an awful, shocking influence you make, on our young fragile innocent little minds!" He raised his hand to his forehead in a mock dramatic faint.

Sirius' eyes went wide, and he said "you wouldn't **dare**."

The twins just smirked at him. Then they called in unison "Oh MOOMM!!--"

"All right! All right! There's a window in the next room, with a tree growing right next to it, you can climb down it and get out!" Sirius said in a rush, trying to shut them up.

"Why thank you padfoot, see you around…"

---END FLASHBACK---

"And the rest... Well… we're not good with sayings." Said George, with a grin.

Harry burst out laughing. He didn't want to, as the story wasn't all that funny (in Sirius' and Remus' view) but still. He didn't mean to laugh!

Behind him, Julia giggled.

"Well, now I know how much of good friends they are, then." he said after calming down.

"Yeah, who would have thought that they're together?" said George "They never show it around other people."

"Well, I guess now we know why they didn't settle down with some bird after school" agreed Fred, "all they needed was just to fuck each other!"

"Now I **really** want to see your friends, Lilo!" Julia exclaimed.

-------------------------

They got to the landing in front of Num. 12 a few minutes later, still laughing.

Fred made to open the door, but Julia said "umm... why are we standing between two houses?"

"Oh right," said Harry, "she doesn't know about HQ…" he paused to think for a second. "Right. Julia, this is HQ, number 12. You won't be able to see it, but you can still come in."

"Okay" she shrugged. It really didn't matter to her. It was just like going through to the Leaky Cauldron.

Fred, again, went to open the door, when the door opened suddenly from the inside, and Mrs. Weasley appeared behind it.

"Oh!" she said, surprised to see them. "I thought you were upstairs, sound asleep. What are you doing out here?"

"We woke up a little while ago, and wanted to stretch a bit before lunch." George lied smoothly. "And look mom," he added, turning toward Harry, "we met Lilo on the way!"

Mrs. Weasley looked at them suspiciously, before turning to Harry also.

"Hello dear, how are you?" she asked, with a bit of a hesitant face. Obviously she still remembers last night. "And who is this?"

"I'm okay." Harry answered. "This is Julia, my boss' niece. Julia, this is Mrs. Weasley, Fred and George's mom."

"Nice to meet you," said Julia, holding up her hand. Mrs. Weasley shook it, looking confused for a second.

"How come you can see…?"

"Oh, Julia's a new found witch. She's going to Hogwarts this September." Harry answered the unfinished question. "When I met Fred and George here, I thought maybe I could bring her along so she could meet her future teachers. She's really excited about going. Aren't you, Julia?"

"Yeah, Lilo tolled me all about magic and how **nice** Mr. Snape is," Mrs. Weasley coughed. If Lilo thought this was nice… "I can't wait to meet my teachers, and go to Hogwarts."

"Yes, well… would you come inside? I was just on my way to Diagon ally to get a few things. I'm sure Sirius will show you around. Fred, George, I'll want to have a word with you and Ginny when I come back. See you later, dears."

And she left.

"Uh oh. I think she found out about us Fred," said George.

"We'll have to warn Ginny, and make something better up. Come on." Said Fred, and led them all in.

As Harry closed the door behind them, they heard a "who's there?" coming from the stairs, and then down came Sirius and Remus.

"Oh hello har- uh, Lilo," Said Sirius, looking wearily (but a bit annoyed) at Harry, "How are you this morning?"

"Just fine and you? This is Julia, by the way. My boss' niece. She's going to Hogwarts this coming September, so I brought her along to meet the staff," Said Harry. "She knows all about my 'work', so it's okay." He added as an after thought.

"Oh, that's nice," Said Remus gloomily. "Good luck."

Just then, they heard a crash from the kitchen door. They looked over at it and they saw Tonks, splat on the floor. She uttered a muffled groan.

"Would you-" but then she saw who she was talking to. She got up quickly, and with a sort of a pained, angry frown, sniffed and left in a rush.

Remus gave a long sad sigh.

"What's going on?" said Fred.

"Why'd she look at you like that?" said George.

Remus sighed again.

"Umm... I don't suppose you told Harry about last night, did you?" asked Sirius cautiously.

"YES" Harry, George and Fred said together with a grin.

"A most fantastic tale." Said Harry, with a wink.

"Well, we had a silencing charm up..."

"And?"

"And you opened the door…"

Fred, George and Harry stared at him for a second, wide eyed and mouths open.

Then they burst out laughing.

"Oh, man, that's priceless" said George between howls of laughter.

"You're in trouble…" Fred teased in a sing-song voice.

"Why? I don't understand what happened." Said Julia, confused.

"Julia, do you remember when I told you about charms you can do to change things in a room, like heating or cooling the air?" asked Harry.

"Yeah…?"

"Well, there's a spell, the silencing charm, which makes the room soundproof, like in a recording studio. No sounds go in or out. The thing is… when you open a door to a silenced room… the charm brakes."

"Oh…" said Julia, blinking."OH!" she exclaimed, after a moment, and then got into a fit of giggles.

"Yes… and because of that, we had to have a little chat with Molly. And Mad-Eye. And Tonks." Said Remus miserably.

"Oh dear… she's okay though, isn't she?" Harry asked tenderly. Even though no one said it, they all knew that Tonks had a bit of a crush on Remus.

"I guess so, but I don't think I'll be seeing her around anytime soon."

"Mmm, I'm sure it'll get better," Said Harry, "At least you're 'out' now. No more pretending."

"Yeah…"

There was a quite pause for a moment, where nobody talked.

"Fred, George, you owe us **big** time." Said Sirius. "You do NOT want to have **that** conversation with Molly."

The twins and Harry cringed sympathetically.

"Umm… well, since you're 'out there', how about some toys?"

-----------

Harry sat with the twins Julia and his godparents at the kitchen table munching on some sweets while Sirius and Remus were busy telling Julia and the twins tales of their younger days. It all went nice and easy as Harry sat there wiggling a bit in his chair, when Fred started to questioned him about it, a bit annoyed.

"Damn it Harry, you haven't sat still ever since we came downstairs from your bedroom, if I didn't know any better I'd say you still have that dildo stuffed up your ass"

Harry blushed, staring at him and said, "Fred!" but it was no use, all the conversations had halted and all looks were on Harry.

George, who noted that Harry's blush wasn't from Fred's exclamation, but rather from something else, gasped and spoke "OMG, you do????"

Harry blushed more but couldn't help move a bit and gasping while doing so.

Sirius and Remus stared at him shocked while the twins grinned and spoke simultaneously "Harry, you really are a kinky bastered!!"

Harry grinned; his cheeks still a lovely rose color, as he stood up.

"speaking of which, I'm going to have a little bathroom break" he said as he started going for the stairs, from the corner of his eye he could see the twins opening their mouths to say something but Julia managed to speak first "have fun"

Harry laughed when he saw the stares Julia receives from the two mutts.

Fred apparently managed to think of something to say (considering that Julia stole his words) and turned to Sirius "hey Sirius, where do you keep the lube?" Harry laughed as he walked up the stairs, the last thing he saw was his godfather turning to his lover with a glare.

--------------

Harry walked down the hallway to the bathroom, which were near the end of the hall, why he didn't have a clue.

_Damn, I can't believe that Sirius and Remus heard that about me, I mean being open about my sexuality is one thing, but talking about it is something else._

He smirked as he thought about said talk, it wasn't like he had any thought of doing that, but when he saw (or rather felt) that the dildo was still in him, he couldn't resist doing so. It was after all one of his fantasies that he talked about with the twins.

_At least the house is clear, what with Molly out shopping and the traitors with the rest of them are out buying the Hogwarts materials I'll so have time for a good wank._

Harry finally reached the bathroom when he noticed that the door was closed.

_Strange_

He was about to open it when it opened by itself……

Tbc.

-------------

DikiCat: sooo sorry for the delay, but you know what? I really don't care.

Rock Junkie: Don't listen to her! She's being evil!

DikiCat: hump!!!!

Anyhow we wanted you to know that we have great news, DikiCat managed to get into university, (applause! NOW!) . we also wanted to tell you that we unfortunately we won't write for the next 2-3 days ( 2 for DikiCat and 3 for Rock Junkie) due to extensive reading (HELLO **seventh book** anyone!!!???).

--Now, we need your help, who should we partner Ginny with (girl, we remind you) (if you have any problem with her being gay, screw you)

The possible girls are:

Luna Lovegood

Pansy Parkinson

Hannah Abbott

Susan Bones

One of the Patil sisters (but not both of them, 'cus we already have a twin thing)

Lisa Turpin.

ALL VOTES MUST BE SIGNED BEFORE THE TWO NEXT CHAPTERS.

Two last things::::

--just to let you know, we really worked hard for this one. (You'll take note that it is longer then the others) So PLEASE tell us what you think, regardless how long it took us to write it.

--the name of the song from the beginning is 'pour some sugar on me' by Def Leopard. We recommend you download the song, and listen to it while reading the start of the chapter again.

Hope you enjoyed it. Review!


	9. Can you bite me?

Chapter 9: Can you bite me?

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

(A/n: Aaaannndd… we're back! Sorry it took so long but… well, you know. THANK YOU SO MUCH for reviewing the last chapter! trying to express eternal thanks-failing it just made us thinks harder on what to write, to make it all the better! R&R!)

--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#--#--#--#--#--

The door opened and Snape came out wearing only a towel, Harry's eyes widen and his mouth watered, taking a step forward he stopped the man's exit.

"Wha..?" his teacher barely managed to speak before he had lips on him; he gasped when he felt the hard length of what had to be unmistakably a very hard erection.

Harry moaned as he rubbed himself on his crush, a groan was heard above and Harry raised himself to look at the man.

Head thrown back, he was the epitome of beauty, maybe not to all people but for Harry it was enough.

"Fuck me, sir please" Harry begged as he started taking his clothes off, Snape stopped and stared at him for a moment as he gathered his bearings again.

"Do you know what you're doing?" the professor asked and Harry answered by slamming their lips back together, the man soon forgot his line of thought as Harry managed to divest him of his clothing and grabbing his cock.

Dropping to his knees Harry took one second to look at the man's surprised face before he swallowed him down, eliciting a scream from the normally stoic man.

Harry hummed as he bobbed up and down the impressive length that was his teachers cock.

Without warning he pulled out and placed the cock in his entrance, not giving Snape a chance to realize what was going on he sat firmly on the cock, screaming both in pain and pleasure.

Snape groaned as he picked Harry up, Harry wrapping his legs on the man's thighs on instinct, and moved him to the sink in the bathroom sitting him there as he fucked him hard and fast making the boy cry his shock, and moan wantonly when his cock brushed his prostate on every other thrust.

"Please sir…"

"Lilo"

"Lilo"

"**LILO**!!!"

"Mmm… huh?" Harry came back to the present as he stared at his professor's face; he resisted the urge to pout when he found out that he was simply daydreaming.

"Are you going to let me through?" the man raised a sardonic eyebrow as he gestured Harry to the fact that he was blocking his exit.

Harry flushed, not wanting to be put on the spot, he turned the table on the man "are you going to tell me why you want to show off your hot bod like that, by walking with only a towel on?" he murmured, making sure Snape saw how his eyes racked his body, pausing a little on the space covered by the towel (Harry wondered if he was just imagining it growing) before raising them to look at the man's slightly flushed face.

"I forgot my clothes in my room" the man drew himself up, daring Harry to contradict him "I promise you that I do not participate in such activities"

"Shame" Harry said with a smirk as he saw the man's eyes widen at the implication.

_Wonder if he'll fuck me now that I made my point about him being hot._

"I don't have time for this nonsense" the man snapped as he pushed past Harry and left to his room.

_I guess that answers my question…..now where was I? _

The boy grinned as he remembered the reason for his little trip for the bathroom

_Now how did my fantasy go again…?_

He slammed the door shut.

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

After twenty minutes or so, Harry got out of the bathroom and made his way back downstairs. When he got to the kitchen, he saw people from the order, and others, sitting around the table and talking. Mrs. Weasley was there, near the sink, cleaning some cutlery very forcefully. Beside her stood Fred, George, and Ginny, all looking a bit glum and depressed. They were holding dishes in they're hands, obviously helping with the cleaning.

"Busted." Fred mouthed to him with a shrug, as he saw him come in.

Harry half smiled at him, then looked around more closely. It seams that half of the order was in the kitchen already, Shakelbot and Dang at one edge of the table, Mr. Weasley, Tonks, Diggle, Mad-Eye and others. Ron and Hermione, also, were there. When they saw him come in, they made a slightly disgusted face, and then turned away.

Harry noticed that Julia was sitting next to Snape and was scaring him with her array of questions; one she shoot quite fast, he frowned when he listened to some of them.

"…..what happens if my potion will explode? Will you punish me? How will you punish me? Will it hurt? Is that legal? Why is the classroom in the dungeons? Are you scared of daylight? Because I think you shouldn't be, your skin is lovely like this, pale and all.." Harry rolled his eyes at her, _honestly she was going to get her self killed if she continued this way_, he couldn't help but grin when he saw the desperate way that Snape was looking at Dumbledore, as though trying to beg him to switch places without words.

"….which reminds me, I read that vampires are all pale like that, so are you one? If you are then it's so cool, I mean I saw quite a lot of vampire movies, and the vampires were always **sooo** hot, so that has to mean you are one. And if you are then I heard that vampires are allergic to garlic but I think that's bull because there's garlic in your plate, can I see your teeth? Can you **bite** me?" Harry had to smack her as the question was way too improper for her, and Snape was already staring at her wide eyed.

The twins who heard the talk couldn't help but snicker at it, which molly caught on and started berating them.

Harry sighed as he sat next to Julia and before she managed to continue her arrayed of questions, he covered her mouth "sorry, **Severus**" he purred the name out and saw Snape staring at him shocked.

_Probably didn't think that I'll say that in front of everyone…_

Harry was about to start another of his attempts of Snape-seducing, _after all there is a reason why they say 'if at first you don't succeed, suck harder' , _but unfortunately Dumbledore ruined it by saying the obvious "I see that you are back again, Lilo" Harry didn't bother to dignify that with an answer and stared a few places far from his, a place where Remus and Sirius sat in one side and Tonks at the other, neither, Harry notes, liked the sitting arrangement, what with Tonks' hair turning red and Remus' knuckles turning white.

Luckily someone noticed it, unfortunately it was Julia.

"Say, how come you're able to turn your hair color to a different one?" she asked.

Tonks frowned and broke her staring match with the couple in front of her "I am a metamorphmagus, a shape-shifter" she added at the confused look she got.

"Oh, but why is the color flicking between black, red and dark orange? Is there something wrong?" she asked and the whole table quieted down.

"Nothing wrong, unless you count the fact that you're boyfriend is gay, and sleeping with MY COUSIN" she yelled the last, making half the table occupants jump.

"Remus is not your boyfriend!" Sirius yelled back

"Yes he is, you thieving bastered, why else would he be nice to me and tell me that I look great!!?"

Sirius rolled his eyes "you are sooo naive Nymphadora, since when someone being nice and polite makes him automatically your boyfriend, if that was so then Remus would have every female as his girl, you damm idiot." he snapped at the girl who flushed.

Remus who tried to make them stop, spoke to the girl "listen, since when have I never been nice to anyone? Or told them they look great when they do?" but his words didn't register in the upset girl.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF LUPIN, you are nothing more then a bastered who leads girls on, while sleeping with someone else, someone of their **family**" she yelled at him, and Sirius snapped

"You shut your trap whore!! look whose talking, at least I never cheated on my partners, and Remus has never lead you on, so stop being delusional."

Tonks roared and pulled her wand, causing the other two to do so as well.

"ENOUGH!!!!!!" Dumbledore snapped and all three stopped and stared at him, Tonks send them one more glare before going away from the room and slamming the upstairs door of her room after her with a bang.

The silence went on until it broke by Severus "well that was a lovely show" the man commented ignoring the glares from the two mutts.

Dumbledore turned to the two, ignoring the spy and started berating them "listen here you two, you have got to stop fighting between us, it makes Voldemort's (insert shudders) job much easier."

Sirius however was not to be deterred and said "well it's her damm fault, it's not like me and moony hidden our relationship from the IDIOTIC BITCH" he screamed the last and a voice from upstairs answered right back "GO TO HELL YOU LIAR, why else did nobody know about you then?!"

Sirius wasn't bothered in the least and answered right back "only those that matter to me knew, and I didn't even need to tell them as it was OBVIOUS"

"Stop it at once!" Dumbledore snapped and all was quiet again, except for Sirius' harsh breaths.

"we have two guests, one of them is going to be a new student this year, and this is the example you want to give them?" the two Animagus(s/es) blushed in shame and looked at their godson, mouthing a sorry, and receiving a nod in return.

"Now then how about we will continue this meal in peace?"

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

the time seemed to fly by, what with visits to Grimmauld place and the movies he made, (that the twins not only got DVD copies of but also backstage entrance to the movie site, they appreciated the last more though, as in every ending of the day they were so turned on they practically jumped Harry before getting home- Keller family home), he barely noticed when the day before September first finally arrived.

Harry rolled his eyes when a speedy blur flew past him, Julia was sooo excited to go to Hogwarts, she was practically screaming "I can't believe I'm going to Hogwarts!" at the top of her lungs.

_How the hell the twins thought she was slytherin materiel is beyond me._

"Harry can you believe it, I'm going to Hogwarts tomorrow!!"

Harry looked at her and spoke slowly as if she was a retarded person "I know, me too, remember?"

The girl flushed and calmed down.

Speaking in an obvious cool tone, she said "I knew that."

_Maybe there is hope to slytherin yet._

Harry smiled as he remembered how his birthday went.

The twins, Sirius and Remus not to mention Ginny, apparently sneaked out of the house and went to his place to arrange his surprise birthday party, which wasn't a surprise party anyhow as he was there when they started decorating. The twins even went as far as to hang a 'happy not-so surprise party' sign and floating balloons.

Harry really enjoyed his gifts, even though some of them were from his ex-best friends (the five grabbed all the birthday gifts for Harry that were in the house in order to give them to him, their answer incase somebody asked about them missing, and people asked, was that they thought that where ever Harry was he will need a happy birthday and so they sent him his gifts).

The gifts were as followed; a book on water plants from Neville, a picture of Luna and her dad in the front of their house, a quiddich poster from Ron (that Harry throw away immediately), a picture book from Hagrid, filled with all sorts of pictures of Harry and company in all of his years at Hogwarts (Harry noted that it was Creevey that snapped all of them), a cool dagger from Tonks (Harry really felt bad for her because of what happened that day), from the twins he got several pranking devices as well as sex toys (Harry stashed those away before Julia saw them), Hermione gave a book about defense, Mrs. Weasley gave him the regular cake and cookies and Mr. Weasley gave a rubber duck (which Harry laughed at but kept), from bill and charley Harry got new clothes and a silver chain with a dragon tooth which Harry noted had a rune carved into it that meant safety. He was grateful that it was finally he's 17th birthday, not that it changed that much, but now he could use his wand more often, instead of draining his magic by using it wandlessly.

But what Harry found the most lovely was the order's reaction to the latter he asked Sirius to give them.

#-FLASHBACK-#

Sirius and Remus stormed into the kitchen, twenty minutes late to a meeting, just like they planed. They also entered in well faked hysteria and excitement, again, just like they planed. What they didn't plan on, however, was for the kitchen to be totally packed with order members. And so, not foreseeing that there were people sitting right behind the door do to lack of space, Remus and Sirius stormed in with a scream of "WE GOT A LET-" and then they toppled over as they crashed into professor Flitwick and Tonks.

They lied there for a few seconds, panting, in a tangle of limbs and chair bits.

"Would you get OFF me?!" shouted the really annoyed Tonks from under Sirius' weight.

"Mister Black, mister Lupin, what is the meaning of this tardiness?" exclaimed professor McGonagall, a little shocked.

"We got a letter from Harry!" Remus shouted from the floor.

"What?!"

There were exclamations of surprise and shock all around the room.

"Get OFF!" Tonks shouted again, sitting up and glaring at them both.

"Yeah!" said Sirius, ignoring her, standing up, and helping Remus up too, "we were just on our way here when Harry's owl, Hedwig, flow in from the window, dropped this on my head," he lifted the envelope in his hand, "and took off again!"

"Did you open it yet?" asked Hermione.

"No, we wanted to read it with all of you."

"Well then, go on and open it!" said Ron, impatiently.

"Right."

Sirius opened the envelope and read:

Hello to everyone who bother to read my latter, I have heard from a very reliable source that I was missing…. This was weird because I already **knew** that I was missing, as I was the one that took off. And in case you didn't figured it out you are being to obvious about me being gone, that Voldemort and his death munches (I'm trying to encourage the man to publish his band with said name) already figured out I was gone, guess who my reliable source was??? Cookies for you if you are right.

Sirius paused his reading as he, Remus, the twins and Ginny were laughing at that, they knew that Harry wanted to annoy the order and what he did was brilliant.

Now the reason that I'm writing this is; beside telling you that for a **secret **organization that **secretly** stops Voldemort you can be quite **obvious**, was because I don't want you to try and find me, I want to be left **alone**, and that's why I am staying with a friend's family somewhere where you will never find me, even if you try. So **please**, for once in your life, listen to me, and if you ignore me, I promise you, you will **not** like the results.

See ya on the first of September, 

**Harry potter** a.k.a the boy-who-wished-to-be-left alone (it may be long, but if Voldemort gets the whole he-who-must-not-be-named, then I want too)

P.s- congratulation Sirius and Remus, heard you two finally came out, about time too, Tonks don't worry you'll find the right man when it's time.

Sirius muttered the last with a glare to Tonks.

"What the hell was he thinking?" Hermione screamed drawing all the mutter and whispers that everyone spoke when Sirius finished reading.

"Yeah, that damm potter brat, who does he think he is?" Ron yelled after her when he saw the attention she received for her screams.

Dumbledore ordered silence.

"What should we do headmaster?" one of the order members asked

"I think for now we should leave Harry alone" again murmurs spurted but Dumbledore ignored them and continued "I have a feeling that when Harry said that we wouldn't like the results, he meant something else entirely" silence as everyone stared at the man, even the ones that knew about Harry were staring at him, wondering what the man meant.

"What do you think he meant by that?" McGonagall asked and Dumbledore adopted a sad look "I'm afraid he meant turning evil"

There were stars all around as people started yelling objections and the like. Again Dumbledore had to order them all to be silent

"Are you sure Albus?" McGonagall asked and Dumbledore nodded "I know that most of you were not aware of this, but…" he took a deep breath as if ready to proclaim a most devastating truth "… when Harry was in first year the sorting hat wanted to sort him into slytherin"

Everyone were shocked, even those that knew about Harry. The twins just looked at each other before grinning, for them the thought of Harry being an almost slytherin was perfect, as they knew how he sometimes acted; the other three had the same thoughts.

Suddenly however Ginny yelled out "I don't want my future husband to be a dark wizard" she proceeded to bury her face in her arms as she started to sob loudly.

Molly who sat next to her was hugging her "don't worry my little baby, I won't let you merry someone like that" she continue to try to appease her daughter, who quickly raised her head and when she saw the looks that Sirius and Remus were giving her, hurt and betrayal, she mouthed at them that she'll explain later, it didn't look as if it convinced them but they nodded and repeated the massage to the twins.

When the meeting was over, Ginny went to Sirius room, immediately followed by said man and lover as well as her twin brothers.

"What the hell, sis?" Fred started right after Sirius put a locking spell on the door and a silencing charm on the room itself.

"Dumbledore came to me last night and asked me how I felt about Harry" she started "I was suspicious of his reasons of asking but answered him, that I loved Harry, of course I meant as my brother" she added when she saw the looks she got "anyhow, since he didn't know that, he went to smiling grandfather act, and told me about the fact that if I will spy on Harry in school then he will give me several love potions to put in Harry's food so that he will fall in love with me as well, and then after Harry will kill Voldemort he said that he will merry the two of us, so that I could have not only Harry but also his money and all that, so I agreed"

They looked at her "you did what?" Remus yelled and the girl gave him a glare "think! If I agreed to do that then both Harry and I will be free to be with whoever we want in secret as we will not use the love potions, but if I refused then Dumbledore would have chosen someone else, and that would mean that Harry will have to drink those potions as he will not be able to watch his food all the time, that and the fact that he wouldn't be able to act himself, you know out and proud. This way Harry would only need to pretend to be madly in love with me, and the old coot won't suspect a thing"

#- END FLASHBACK-#

"hey Julia," Harry said after a while of watching her bounce around the room, swirling her new school robe that she just **had** to wear now, "to get used to them, honestly!"

"Wh-at?" she asked in a singsong voice.

"You do remember how to get in to the platform, right?"

"What platform, Harry? You didn't say how we get on the train at all!"

"Well, it's platform nine and three quarters-"

"Platform what? Three quarters? How stupid is that? What, is it only three quarters of a platform or something?"

"No, Julia. It's **nine **and three quarters. It's in a wall, you know. You have to bash your head through it. Only then will it lest you pass. Its part of its test to see if you have an open mind." he sniggered mentally.

She stared at him with her mouth wide open.

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Does it look like I'm joking?" he asked with an evil smile.

"Oh, good, you **are** kidding." Julia looked relived.

"Fine, don't believe me. I guess you'll have to see for yourself how you get on the train and get sorted into the houses, see if I care. You'll probably fail the tests and turn out to be a dorky Hufflepuff or something anyway." Harry said with an uncaring shrug.

"What! There're tests at the sorting? What kind of testes?" she asked amazed.

"Why should I tell you?" Harry lifted an eyebrow. "You won't believe me anyway."

"Pleeeeeaassee Harry, pleeeaase? I'll believe you!" she pleaded, all puppy-eyed and nodding to her own words, "See, I'm listening! I'll give you anything! Just please tell me! I've got to know!! Come on Harry!"

"Anything?" (a\n, idea?)

"Well…" she looked hesitant.

"We'll talk about it later. Now pay **attention**." He pointed at a seat in front of him, and she sat down quietly for a change.

"There are three tests, and they start as soon as you get into the castle, so be ready for it." He stopped for dramatic affect, which worked as she tensed up. "First, they put you first-year lot into a really small room. They'll tell you to wait for the sorting, but in reality, they're already testing you. You see, while you wait, the teachers are actually watching you, judging you by your behavior."

"You mean like in those Cop shows, where they put a suspect in a room with a one-way mirror in it, to see if he acts guilty and stuff?" Julia asked, wide eyed.

"Yes, exactly. Depending on what you do, or how you react to your surroundings, the teachers give their first say about where you'll fit in."

"Oh… but," she said, in a slightly worried voice, "What if I do something wrong? What if I don't fit anywhere?"

Harry laughed. "That's what I thought, until I passed it. It all depends on how you act. Just for kicks, they let us older students watch. It's so funny; the newbies get so nervous, some of them pass out." He smirked at her now even more nervous look. "Ah, but don't worry. If you make the right moves, you'll be fine. As long as you don't tell anybody what I'm telling you, that is."

"Why's that? Why can't I warn the other kids?"

"Then you'll be in trouble. Trust me; you do not want Filch to be on your case." He shuddered and whispered in a broken voice. "Hanging from the walls by your thumbs…"

Now she looked really shocked. "Oh no, no, no, that can't be right, hitting kids, it's illegal! They can't do that!" she paused for a moment. "….can they?"

"Not if you keep your mouth **shut**, and go by the rules they can't." Pause. "But I don't know…" Harry smiled evilly again.

The girl stared at him horror filled and Harry's smirk widened "oh yes, he has other ways of punishments of course, he makes Snape look like a good old uncle Sam"

Julia gave him a frown "but the twins said that Snape hated kids of all sizes, and tries to make their life a living hell, so filch can't be that bad, can he?"

"So are you starting to believe me now? Because if you don't trust me you will be sorry"

The girl bit her lip "I believe you but…but won't you get in trouble for telling me?"

Harry mentally cheered, _finally some slytherin thinking, I so have to tough her up_, while on the outside, he smirked "oh don't worry about me, I have...how shall I say it... oh a thump card, the ultimate ace"

Julia stared at him shocked "what is it?"

Harry shuddered "I found out about his little secret affair with the librarian, and I thought that those sort of people were really anal on who they date" another shudder.

The girl eyes widen and she stared at her best friend/older brother of sorts, she was almost scared that she was that attached to him already, but there was just something about him.

"So the other tests?" Harry nodded his face completely serious "well the second test isn't that hard, they just give you several puzzles, you know to test knowledge and the like, it is mostly to see if you could enter Ravenclaw though...never mind…"

The girl stared at him "what?"

"It wouldn't matter, well the third test is the hardest, you see they let you into the great hall where you will all concentrate on a hat…" he was cut off

"What are we supposed to do? Pull a rabbit out of it" she laughed and Harry shook his head "that's what I thought until I heard his song"

"song?"

"oh yeah, you see the hat is evil and a bit sadistic from being left in Dumbledore's office all year, having no one to talk to except a sugar-high old coot and a singing bird" another mental chuckle about what would Fawkes will say if he knew what he was being called "well it gets evil really quick and kinda-of lies to the students, by telling them that by placing it on your head, it would see if you match some descriptions to the houses, what he really does is giving you a mental picture.."

"What like a picture of McGonagall and Dumbledore naked together?" Harry went green. "It was bad enough when the twins said it, please don't give the hat those ideas, it's evil enough as it is"

The girl gave a shudder "Eugh…I just thought of that mental picture, I think I'm going to be scared for life" Harry smirked at her "serves you right, as for the picture, well, its a sort-of virtual realty, really."

"Wizards have that stuff?" Harry nodded "Yeah. And when the hat gives you the mental pic, you have to start fighting the monster that appears there."

"What monster will that be?"

"Well, it differs in each, but the monster is like a Bogart, it turns into the one thing you fear the most." Julia stared at him shocked with a bit of fear in her eyes, Harry kinda felt bad for her, but is it was tradition to scare younger family members so… he continued evilly.

"It all depends how you fight it, you see if you would run from it, Hufflepuff. Head straight on without concern, Gryffindor, and if you visualize the situation and analyze it, before rushing and performing several really advance spells it's Ravenclaw."

The girl frowned "what about slytherin?"

Harry shook his head "nah, you won't make it to slytherin"

"Why not?" she cried indignantly

"Because slytherin requires cleverness, cunning, ambitiousness, shrewdness, daring and did I mention cunning and **cleverness**? You are **not** slytherin material."

"What?!? I'll show you! I can be slytherin and anything I want! I'll go study right now and be the best there is! They won't **dare** put me in some dorky Hufflepuff or whatever… cleverness and cunning… I'll show **them**…" she stormed out of the room, towards the stairs, muttering to herself when she suddenly bumped into a happy Sara.

"Off to bed Julia, school's tomorrow!"

"Not **now **mom, I gotta study!!" Julia exclaimed in half hysteria and bolted up the stairs. A second later they heard the door slam.

Sarah walked into the living room and looked at Harry with amazed confusion.

"What's the matter with her?" she asked, perplexed.

"I have absolutely no idea. One minute she was fine, talking to me about the sorting tomorrow and the next…" he shrugged.

"Oh, how do you get sorted into houses, by the way? You never did mention that."

"They put the sorting hat on your head, it's a really old hat that reads your mind for emotions and qualities that might fit for one house or the other. When it's done it shouts out the name of the house it thinks you'll fit in the most."

"Really, is that all? I wonder why she's so hysterical, then?"

"No clue." Harry said, shaking his head.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time weird things happened with her… I remember when she was three…"

Tbc.

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

A/N: ta-da! Here we go folks, another one done. This one a little shorter, and took us a while, but oh well, you'll just have to make that do.

We are just starting school again shortly, so we're sorry, but it might take longer for an update. We're busy girls!

-#-#-We remind you, the vote is still on! Who do you want as a partner to Ginny? -#-#-

The choices are: (drum roll)

Luna Lovegood

Pansy Parkinson

Hannah Abbott

Susan Bones

One of the Patil sisters (but not both of them, 'cus we already have a twin thing)

Lisa Turpin.

ALL VOTES MUST BE SIGNED BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER.

--Thank you! And please PLEASE review?? ---

P.s: DikiCat is starting university in October, and Rock Junkie has started 11th grade, we are big girls now!!!


	10. Sort me out!

**Chapter 10: sort me out!**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

"Julia! Will you stop running around with your nose in that book and look where you're going??" Harry cried out, quite annoyed after having the over-enthusiastic learning midget bump against his midriff for the fifth time this morning.

"Sorry!" she squeaked from behind her book that was flat against her face, and ran off again, never setting her eyes away from it.

"Did you at least have a last look around, to see if you packed all your stuff, Julia? It's nearly nine thirty!" called Sara after her, coming out from Harry's room doing just that.

"mu-om! I already told you that I did!"

"Then why don't you help me move the luggage to the front? You have the entire year to study. You shouldn't read on the move like that, it's bad for your eyes!"

"But mom-!"

"Leave that book alone and **help** me, Julia!"

"Yes **mother**." She scowled and ran off again.

"Tell me again why we can't all go there together?" Sara asked Harry in a desperate sort of voice. "You could at lest help me control her."

"I thought Sirius explained this perfectly enough, Sara. If the order or anybody else sees us arrive together they'll suspect something, since I'm going as Harry, and Julia's well known to the order. We want to eliminate any suspicion of me and Lilo being the same person. That's why Sirius'll be taking me with his old motorbike. Under the helmet, nobody will know it's him. And besides," Harry added as an afterthought, "there won't be any room with both our luggage in Jonathan's tiny car anyway. So that's that."

"Why am I thinking that one of the reasons you want to do it is because you get to ride on a motorcycle?" Sara asked slyly and Harry blushed, "Hey, why do I think you're just asking this because you're jealous that I get to ride a motorcycle?"

Sara pouted, "You caught me." when Harry raised his eyebrow she continued "You see ever since I was a teenager I always wanted a big throbbing machine between my legs"

Harry burst out laughing at her explanation, but she just shook her head "I had the money several years back, but then I found out I was pregnant and I had to use it, but now…I sooo want to ride on it…" Harry nodded understanding but Sara wasn't finished "I mean think about it, something that big between your legs, hard and vibrating, making you moan with each turn and spin…" she raised her head when she saw Harry's eyes a bit unfocused and a bit of drool was present near his mouth, she had to smack his head to get him out of it.

"Are you really telling me that no one has yet to publish any of your novels?" he asked her the minute he snapped out of it.

"What can I say; a writer will always be a starving artist."

The door suddenly opened with a bang, and a dog raced inside, uncaring by the fact that there were muddy doggie footsteps behind him.

Sara raced to shut the door while Harry had already started to berate Sirius for the mud.

"Oh please, it will disappear with the wave of a wand." a voice suddenly spoke and they turned to see Julia, no book in sight, and Jonathan walking from upstairs with Julia's trunk.

Sirius bounded over to her, making an impression of those stuck-up cartoon dogs, before bouncing on her and licking her face, getting mud and saliva all over her clothes.

"Eww doggie spit!" the girl groused and Harry snickered before looking at the watch "We better go." Sirius turned back into human and nodded, he was dressed in a black leather jacket as well as a tight pair of pants and it wasn't hard to see his well-toned body under it all.

"Remus is one lucky boy…" Sara sighed as she took a moment to appreciate the sight before her.

The dog Animagus shook his head "Nah, I'm really the lucky one, without Remus…" he gave a shudder before putting his helmet on, passing one to Harry and heading to the door where he parked the vehicle.

"Bye Sara, Jonny!" Harry grinned but before he made his way out, Sara rushed over and hugged him tight "Oh I'm going to miss you so much!" she gushed at him, and Jonathan rolled his eyes at her behind her back.

It wasn't long after, that Harry managed to get away and get on Sirius' bike on his way to the station.

----------

Parking at the outside lot, in front of the large glass windows of the station, Harry and Sirius couldn't help but be surprised at the number of Japanese tourists seemingly waiting for a tour bus.

All of them were dressed in leather and chains, dark colors mostly, and one girl went as far as to wear a really short skirt that should be counted as a belt then a skirt, what with her matching sports bra, the fact that her hair was in two ponytail, from other side of her head and were died with stripes of shocking pink, didn't exactly make her less of a spectacle.

Harry and Sirius however had no problem with fitting with this crowd, as it was much easier for them to view the station like this without being stared at.

And viewing they did, as Sirius pointed at a group of familiar red heads walking down the station, though stopping in front of the platform entrance, apparently trying to find out where Harry was and who he was with.

Smirking Harry took his helmet off, aware that the Weasleys have apparently spotted him.

_Well if it's a show they want, then a show they'll get._

He leaned over and gave Sirius a hug "Thanks for everything padfoot" his godfather returned the hug before whispering "no problem pup"

Letting go Harry stared at him for a second before frowning "are you going to go to GrimPlace again?" he asked and Sirius laughed at the name a bit, before shaking his head "nah, I have a bike and several hours of freedom, I think I might take Remus for a picnic or something, you know?" Harry smiled at him. "I think it's a great idea"

"You better go." Sirius started and another look at the windows showed that Mrs. Weasley was almost going to pull him inside, if he didn't get a move on.

"Bye" Harry waved and on impulse turned to the pink striped girl, and sent her an air kiss, said girl gave a wave before calling out at his reiterating back "See ya sweetie" Harry turned and gave her a smirk, before entering his doom…uh- station.

--------

Strutting towards the entrance, Harry quickly side-stepped behind a large sumo-wrestling looking pair of Japanese tourists, who had black pony-tailed hair and funny looking cartooned shirts. Evidently, they were posing for a picture. Wasting no time, he pulled his invisibility cloak out of his pocket and put it on. Looking around to check that he wasn't seen disappearing, he spotted a small Japanese boy who was staring at a spot a few centimeters from where Harry was standing. The boy blinked a few times, amazed, then tuned to one of the large men and said to him in a high pitched excited voice "**Chichioya**!Tekunoroji-no-eikoku sugoi-des!" (Father! English technology is amazing!_**[1**_

Leaving the child gasping and blinking, Harry looked around for the Weasleys and spotted them waiting, probably for him, by the entrance to the platform.

"Where is he? Are you sure that was him, kissing that awfully dressed tourist girl?" asked an annoyed looking Mrs. Weasley. "He should have been here by now…"

"I don't know… maybe he's already on the train, it is ten minutes to eleven. I think we should wait for him inside." Said Ginny, looking around anxiously.

"Yeah mom, I want to get a good seat on the prefect's compartment." Said Ron, "Come on." The whole Weasley clan then moved to walk through the barrier separating the muggle world from the Wizarding world, platform nine and three quarters, with the twins and Ginny reluctantly straggling behind. Moving fast, Harry sneaked up behind the twins and, just after Ron and Mrs. Weasley went through, pinched their butts and rubbed.

Both twins jumped at once, and looked behind them wildly, only calming down when they heard a whisper in their ear a second later: "Your cute identical asses should follow me."

And they did.

Harry smirked as he let them move behind a close by pillar, making sure that this time no one was watching, for real, before removing the clock.

The minute it was of the twins didn't waste time and both snogged him, well Fred did, as he got to him first, George settled on licking, biting and nibbling on Harry's neck instead.

Harry moaned in protest when the two broke off "No fair, you two are teasers"

Both laughed "right, we're teasers…"

"And you were the one…"

"That was wearing girl's clothing…"

"All summer"

Harry grinned.

"Are you coming to the platform?" one of them asked and Harry shook his head "I'm waiting for Julia, I gave her a horror story about bashing your head in the wall, I wanna see what she'd do"

Fred pretended to wipe a tear from his eye "I'm so proud"; his twin nodded "I know, they grow up so fast".

"Quick there she is," Harry whispered as he covered himself and the twins with it, the two pretended they were seen so as to stand really close to Harry (meaning, touch Harry and rub against him).

Julia was walking to the platform, Jonny and Sara near her, when she got to it; she was staring at it shocked, before biting her lip.

Sara had apparently asked how to get on the platform, by the way Julia was staring at the wall in concentration.

Suddenly she gave a ran to the wall, her arms over her head, as though protecting it from a bombing from the sky, she also ducked a bit, at the last second, a hint before she passes the barrier, she removed her arms and bashed her head against the wall.

However, she hadn't planned on an injure-free ram, so being surprised at the lack of pain she lost her momentum and fell over, dropping on the floor on the other side of the platform.

"Oh damn" she cursed as her family who walked in slowly, picking her up.

They were joined by a laughing Harry and twins.

"Go fuck your self potter," Julia glared at him, ignoring her mother reproach of her language.

Harry gave a smirk "So sorry but I'd rather leave that job for someone else." -The twins gave him grins- "Yup, the job's taken." Sara just rolled her eyes at their antics.

"You should go Harry, or you'll be seen" he nodded and gave her a hug turning to Julia he spoke "you remember our plan, right?"

Julia nodded, forgetting her anger "Yes... No wait, remind me?" Harry rolled his eyes.

"Go, before I get annoyed and kick your ass."

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

Harry was sitting in a compartment alone, reading a book on charms, when he heard voices coming from outside the door.

"Really? But my brother told me that we had to fight the giant squid, so we can cross the lake!"

"Oh no, it's definitely a banshee. And then they give you a score by your behavior, you know, if you had great ideas or wonderful courage or whatever."

"I really hope I'll do well, I studied all night, and I'm beat."

Harry smirked. That reminded him of someone...

"Yeah, well, I guess you can sleep on the train, my brother said he did it all the time. Did you read about--Oh!"

The compartment door opened, and two girls walked in. upon seeing Harry, they scrambled to go out again, with fleeting apologies and freighted looks. Just as they where a foot out the door Harry called "Wait!"

They stopped, petrified, and stared at him.

"Am I **that** scary? What did I do? Do I have something in my teeth?"

The girls gave a nervous giggle.

"N-No, it's, well, we're not supposed to talk to s-seventh years, or they'll hex us. We have to keep out of their hair, a-aren't we?"

"Oh rubbish. I'll be nice to you, and if a seventh year- or anybody else- gives you trouble, I'll handle it. Sit down! I'm Harry, by the way. Gryffindor."

They sat down.

"I'm Kristin clew, this is Rose Lerner and you're… you're Harry Potter!"

"Harry potter! Really?!? Where??" Harry jumped and looked around franticly, looking exited. "Do you think he'll give me an autograph, he's so dreamy…" he fanned himself with his book and sank into his chair, a look of pure admiration on his face, "I want to **marry** him some day…"

The girls laughed.

"I take it you don't like the fame?" one asked and Harry nodded "It all really sucks and not in a positive life affirming way. Its like, can't they see I'm human? I didn't ask for this. If I have to go and kill some crazy megalomaniac they can't even say the name the fucking of, at least stop staring at me like I'm Merlin's left ball sack or something."

Before any of the girls could answer the compartment's door opened, and weasel and bookworm entered.

"Hey Harry how are you?" Hermione asked giving him a smile he didn't return, Ron didn't even bother with a hello as he glared at the first years "You two get out, Harry wants to sit with his friends."

The girls send hurt looks to Harry, but stopped when they saw that he was glaring at the two 'friends'.

"Thanks Weasley but I'm already sitting with friends." he gave grins to the two firsties who smiled back.

"What do you mean, sitting with friends?" Hermione asked indigently "What are we, mountain trolls?"

Harry gave her a snort "No, for that you would have to be better looking, and actually have brains."

Before Ron could open his mouth to yell at him, a trunk crashed into Ron and Hermione, and a very familiar girl hurried forward "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," she lied throw her teeth, making Harry feel so proud at the little snake in the making "My trunk got loose from my grip when the train lurched."

Kristin frowned "But the train didn't lurch." she whispered and her friend hit her lightly, luckily neither 'best friend' noticed.

Harry snorted and Julia turned to him, giving a little jolt of shock "H..Harry?" she gasped "You're a wizard too??"

Harry jumped up shocked "Me? A **wizard**?!? No way, are you telling me we're on a **magic** train? Oh my god, I had a feeling something was up when I saw all the cross-dressing weirdoes, the pointed hats and black cats, but **magic**!!? I can't believe it exists!! Teach me???" he finished dropping to his knees and grabbing Julia's legs, shaking her a bit.

"Get off freak," she grinned at him, "That position is **too** weird for me." Harry blushed and sat back in his seat, patting the seat next to him so that Julia could sit down.

"You two know each other?" Hermione asked and Harry spared her a glance but nodded "I used to baby-sit her." he answered at the same time Julia said "He used to baby-sit me." They grinned at one another.

"Well," said Grainger snottily, "that's all fine and dandy, but we still want to sit with you, Harry, alone. We have things to talk about. **Important** things."

It was obvious that she was trying to bait Harry into believing she was going to tell him confidential order things that otherwise he wouldn't be able to know because he's 'too young and not in the order'.

"Oh I really doubt they're that important," Said Harry.

"Go away." Julia swished her hand in Ron and Hermione's general direction and the door suddenly slammed shut loudly on their faces.

"How'd you do that?" asked the very amazed Rose, looking wide eyed at Julia, after they heard the annoying Gryffindors leave with a huff.

"Why, magic, of course!" Said Harry, with a wink at Julia.

The rest of the train ride went pretty uneventfully. The three new first-years talked between them about school in general and what they heard about teachers, lessons, and customs.

"I know that we have to battle a banshee so you could get sorted into your right house-"

"But my brother swore to me that it's the giant squid, with all its tentacles and wet squirming fleshy things…-"

"I still think it's a little unfair, don't you? We're first years! How are we supposed to know how to battle banshees-?"

"The Giant Squid!"

"Yeah- especially if we're muggle born of half and half, it's isn't like we're trained to slay dragons or anything is it? I mean-"

"Dragon?? Do you think they have that in Hogwarts too-?"

"No Kristin, I'm making a point here- look. I just hope I don't get chunked into some the wrong place for me. What do you think will happen then, huh? We'll be doomed forever, if we're in the wrong house…."

They kept on babbling, Harry occasionally adding his 'opinion'. He had to send 'shut up or else' glares at Julia to keep her quite from time to time, when she looked like she had something revealing to say, but mostly she kept to her own and just listened.

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

Harry bid Julia and her new friends goodbye when the call 'Firs'-years! Firs'-years over here!' and moved toured the Thestral carried carriages. He waited around on purpose, so he could get one of the last carriages with people he didn't know, instead of the one's he hated.

When Harry arrived at the great hall, the feast was just beginning. Noticing that his two X-friends saved him a place at the table, he slipped into a seat between Ginny and Lavender, in front of Neville and Dean, his back to the rest of the hall.

He just started to wonder whether they were going to start soon when the main doors opened and the new batch of freshly frightened first year tender meat was led in by the always strict professor McGonagall. Harry smiled evilly to himself. This should be fun.

Noticing Julia's pale face, Harry resisted the urge to laugh evilly. _Hmm now I know how voldy does it_; he smirked at that thought as he mentally conjured a picture of Voldemort telling ghost stories around the fire in the middle of the night at a summer camp.

Everyone stared at the hat waiting for it to sing. Harry knew that while everyone of the firsties would sigh in relief at the sorting song, Julia would probably think that it was an evil plot of the hat to loll people into a sense of safety.

He really couldn't wait.

-#-#-#-#-#-#

**A long of time, years ago**

**A magical place was born**

**For stuffing young minds**

**With magical prime**

**Knowledge for children to own.**

**This majestic center, **

**Famous and swell (I'm glad to tell)**

**Was made by four people**

**We all know too well:**

**One braver, one smarter,**

**One amazingly loyal, **

**And one who will come into **

**Nothing but foil. **

**The four have decided, **

**As I say in my song,**

**To start a new school,**

**Mighty and strong.**

**Each teacher his way,**

**They taught day by day, **

**But who will sort them,**

**When they'll go away? **

**So they sprang me to life, **

**Or that's what they say,**

**To sort you new pupils**

**To where you must stay. **

**May it be Slytherin, **

**Who's cunning, ambitious and shrewd **

**Or may it be Ravenclaw, **

**Where knowledge is eaten like food**

**May it be Gryffindor, **

**Brave and impressive like Thor**

**Or may it be Hufflepuff,**

**Loyal, do they're best, nothing more.**

**Though I do the sorting, it is my duty, **

**I have one, regret to confess; **

**That I divide you,**

**And not unite you, **

**Crating a yearly mess. **

**Getting along, you know, **

**Will do you nothing of harm, **

**Just try it out, make you a friend, **

**Maybe you'll find one with charm. **

**Tough times are ahead, **

**Hogwarts people beware,**

**Befriend your school foe, **

**There might just be love there. **

**So put me on, your head of course,**

**No sense in delaying the sorting,**

**I'll tell you where you truly belong, **

**Even though my work is quit daunting. **

**I'll read your mind, test the potential, **

**I rarely make mistakes, you'll see, **

**Come sit down, pick up and wear me,**

**You will find out where you ought to be…**

_(A/N: we know you skipped this part. Go and read it. Oh really? Then read it again!! A/n reminder: Rose Lerner!)_

When the song ended, Harry saw that his prediction came true, what with Julia glaring at the hat as if it foretold the rise of Satan.

"When I call out your name, please step up and place the hat on your head. When your house is called, walk to the applauding table." McGonagall voice spoke and Harry tuned everything off until "Kristin, clew", was called. A second later the hat yelled "Gryffindor!" Harry clapped as well, again tuning himself out and then in to see Julia getting sorted.

He hardly resisted a hard laugh when he saw the suspicious glare the girl gave to the animated thing. _Maybe there was hope to come_, he smirked evilly when the hat came down on the girl's tense head.

Seconds turned to minutes, as Julia sat there, her eyes closed, her expression growing steadily angrier and angrier, face completely red, breath fuming. She suddenly opened her eyes as if in surprise, looked impressed for a second, smirked, and then turned back to angry again.

The girl took the hat off her head; put it gently back on the chair with a muttered "Thanks", then turned around to look through the crowd for a face.

The entire great hell was silently stunned. There hasn't been ever a time when the hat didn't announce the house out loud for the hall to hear. Did she not get sorted? What is she angry about? Did the hat reject her?

Just as the crowd started mumbling and whispering their wonderment, Julia found the face she was looking for.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU ARE SO FUCKING _**DEAD**_!!"

Tbc…

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

_**[1**_We hope that we wrote the Japanese part right, please tell us if we didn't!

Ta Da! We finished another one! Not too late, we hope. We do try to keep to schedule, with school work and stuff.

Anyway, hope you liked it! We would really like your opinion on the sorting song! It's a DikiCat-Rock Junkie original #smiling proudly#, so be nice! (Though, DikiCat gives shifty look around, it is probably more to Rock Junkie then little ole me…)

By the way, -VOTES ARE UP! -- You can stop voting now!

Thank you **so much** for helping us out with this!

Well, I can tell you right now, that the two most leading girls in the running to be Ginny's crush and lover were (Drum roll) **Pansy Parkinson** and **Luna Lovegood, **by a very big margin.

Nuh uh! We're not telling you who won yet. You'll just have to wait and see. #evil smirk#

Thanks again!

P.s…

I (rock junkie) may or may not be writing a new story of my own. It may or may not be a sexy M+ rated one-shot or short chaptered story. It may or may not be lusty fantasies come true for some of you. I may or may not be publishing it according to the number of _reviews_ we get. Just so you know.

Review! (Please, master?)

p.p.s…

I (DikiCat) like the above author, have just decided that I am also doing something, probably not as good as RockJunkie as trust me I read what she did already and let me tell you WOW, so if the reviews get more then the useful amount (which is almost to none, and no we are not counting the one or two we did get) then you will have two fics to read (though mine will be under B2J my other name).

p.p.p.s…

Just so you know, again, Adi's story will be on the oh-so hot couple of Harry…. Did you really think we are going to tell you who he'll be with? Pathetic.

Mine will be about, and yeah, do get your hopes up, Harry/Lucius, Harry/Snape, Harry/Lucius/Snape, in a lovely master slave connection.

-#--#-#-#-+


	11. What? Am I doing it wrong?

**Chapter 11: (option: What? Am I doing it wrong/ You bet your ass?)**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

"HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU ARE SO FUCKING _**DEAD**_!!"

Julia looked just about ready to explode.

Harry, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber.

"What?" he said, "You're the one who believed me. How pathetic. Slytherin my ASS."

Julia glared hard, unconcerned about the crowd around her in the hall. "Speaking of your ass, you better watch it, cause let me tell you something, I've got tons of blackmail on you, and I don't mean from this year alone, oh no way, but from all the way back. You see the hat..." she gestured to the 'innocent' animated magical sorter devicy thingy, "was really helpful and understanding, not to mention **informative**."

Harry suddenly straightened up and smirked, which suited him just fine, "Oh yeah? Well allow me to give you a little reminder, darling. **I. Babysat. You. **And if you want to have any friends at all, and trust me spending seven years alone wouldn't do you any good, keep your mouth **shut** 'bout my business or else…" he trailed at the girl who was staring at him amused.

"Or else what? What could you possibly tell them? My information is so much more dangerous to your social life," She smirked. "Or lack there of."

Harry didn't even flinch as he shot right back "Oh, don't tell me you don't remember the little incident you had when you were three? Or how about when you were five? You know, the one involving a certain bucket and pink **underwear**?"

The girl's eyes flashed as she got even paler, it was obvious to Harry that she was cursing her mother in all the languages she knew (Basically from watching too many soup-operas) for telling Harry those stories. She drew her wand at him.

"If you want to stay alive to see the end of the year at ALL, Potter, you **will** keep your mouth SHUT. And I don't care about that stinky voldy-man; your **mine**."

Harry gulped; he was as pale as a ghost.

"Draw?" He squeaked.

She nodded.

"Defiantly slytherin, then?" He asked her, already knowing the answer.

The girl just smirked as she headed to the green and silver table, "You bet your ass."

The hall was silent for a few moments.

There was an uncomfortable chough, and then the headmaster spoke.

"Yes…. Well... on any event, I would like you to meet our new teachers, as it does seem like we're replacing them quit often. So, your new defense against the dark arts teacher: Professor Tonks!"

Tonks went to stand up abruptly when her name was called, but she somehow got caught in the chair behind her and tripped sideways, on the very annoyed Severus Snape who happened to sit next to her. The both fell to the floor, Tonks' head landing right between Snape's legs, to the hall's grate amusement.

Snape got up, of course, very quickly. He does not **do** awkward. He shot Tonks a glare, which she didn't notice.

She hissed in pain and cursed rather loudly, and got up, her hair turning a shocking purple color with green strips.

She then noticed the rest of the all staring at her. Her hair turned a screaming pinkish-red and she sat down with a muttered "Sorry professors."

Some students sniggered. Others were too busy staring at the hair.

Harry just kept looking at his empty dinner plate. He was a little surprised to hear that Tonks would be teaching, as he didn't even notice she was there up until now, but mostly it didn't matter much to him. She'll just be another 'friend' who'll spy on him and, probably, turn in disgust if she ever found out about what he did this summer.

"Hmm... well, on any event," Dumbledore said again, "let us meet our new muggle studies teacher-"

Harry blocked him out and stopped listening, not caring who the next teacher was - It hardly mattered now anyway.

Once the food finally arrived, he gulped it down, said his good-nights to Ginny, Lavender and the others around, and then left as the students were dismissed.

-#-#-#--#-# #-#-#

The next morning was not that eventful, relatively. Not that there wasn't anything happening.

Thanking god for giving Dumbledore **at least** enough brains to give all the seventh-years their own privet rooms in and around Gryffindor tower, Harry sat down in his now new usual place next to Ginny, facing the hall, and started to lode his plate with food.

"Morning Harry," said Ginny cheerfully from beside him. "Pass the pumpkin juice please?"

"Morning," He passed the juice and kept eating.

"Pour you some too, **Harry**?" she asked, emphasizing his name with a light stump on his foot.

"Ow! Wha-Oh! Yes, thank you, I'd love some." Said Harry, remembering a conversation they had a few days earlier and passing her his cup. He turned back to his food, and when his glass was handed back to him, he drank it all in two big gulps.

He put the cup down slowly, a dazed look on his face, his eyes glossy.

A second later it was gone and Harry shook his head, like getting rid of a daydream.

"Harry, is everything alright?" Ginny looked at him with concern, and then put a hand on his forehead, "you looked out of it for a minute."

"M' fine." He said, smiling at her. "Say… Ginny, did you do something with your hair? It looks kinda nice, I like it."

"Why thank you Harry, I did." She smiled widely at him. "I couldn't help notice you let your hair grow this summer too, Harry. It's quit nice on you."

Harry blushed a little, just enough for those closely around (or for those with a magical ways to watch everything happening and therefore, meddle in) to see.

"Thank you, I happen to like it myself." He said, and went back to his food. Under the table, Ginny squeezed his hand twice.

Mission accomplished.

_Now all I have to do is be seen holding hands with Ginny a couple of times during the year, maybe fake a hurried snog session or two, and Dumblefuck'll gobble it all up._

Not looking at the headmaster, Harry was about to start on his chocolate pudding when professor McGonagall came over to the table to hand out the schedules for the year.

"**Yes**!" he said, looking at what's for today. "Double potions right on Monday mornings!" He smiled wickedly to himself. "Can't wait."

"Harry?? Did you just say you can't wait for potions?!" exclaimed Neville, who was sitting near by and happened to hear him.

"Yeah, it'll be fun. Gotta go, don't wanna be late!" and Harry got up and dashed out of the hall.

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-

"You will now be creating the dumbfounding easily made potion on page 952 in your books. Those of you who will have trouble making it, will undoubtedly be getting a 'T' for a mark as it will simply prove to me what I have known for years, that you are a bunch of simple minded, witless idiots who can't brew a potion to save their lives."

The potions professor spared a moment to smirk at Neville and Harry, who gave a weak smirk.

"Those of you who will succeed, which won't be many, shall bottle the potion and put it on my table for marking."

Harry nodded with a smile, opened the textbook to the right page, and as he predicted, the potion was very complex and incredibly difficult; it also involved a lot of stirring and perfect timing.

He frowned. He wanted to make a move on the man, subtly of course, but how….? He suddenly smirked; he had just the perfect idea.

Walking to the potion-cupboard Harry paused in his steps due to the line of students taking ingredients from within, but Harry wasn't upset, as it fit quite well in his plans.

Noticing that Snape was standing several feet from him, Harry pretended to trip on something and 'accidentally' fell on the man who sneered and pushed Harry away from him.

"Watch your step Potter! Or you'll set the whole lab off, you idiot boy!"

"Sorry professor."

_Ahhh, shame, he has such a great body... I can't believe I felt him up, hope he didn't notice…_

But Harry didn't know that Snape was aware of the groping and was frowning at him, and so he got back to his table, arms filled with the potion stuff and a shit-eating smirk on his face.

Getting the potion started, Harry pushed his glasses up (Lilo is the one wearing contact lenses since Harry didn't want people to notice the differences). After an hour and a half or so of working on the option with one eye and spying on Snape to see if he came near with the other, he read the next and final line of instructions.

**-After three minutes had passed, stir for five minutes with a wooden spoon, seven times clockwise and two against, till the liquid turns to the light shade of sapphire.**

Grinning, Harry did as it said in the book and when Snape finally came closer to his table to inspect his progress, Harry started step two of his 'seducing-Severus-Snape-so-he-could-fuck-me-so-hard' scheme.

Slowly as though not to cause any suspicion, he started trailing his hand up and down the wooden spoon he was holding, on every other stir. He could almost just imagine it was one of the twins' cocks or, even better, Severus' and almost unconsciously his hand moved a bit faster and his tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry lips. He let out a tiny little moan under his breath.

"What do you think you're doing, Potter?" A voice barked and Harry opened his eyes (_when did I close them???_) to look at the person who spoke, and almost froze when he saw it was Snape.

But Snape wasn't looking at him but rather at his hand that were still moving up and down, and on occasion flickering at the top, like Harry always did in order to spread the pre-come that gathered there.

Harry placed the best 'innocent and confused' look he ever did, wide eyes, slight blush and parted lips. A look for an Oscar, he thought, the same he used on his first ever shoot.

"What is it **sir**? Am I doing it **wrong**?" He licked his lips absentmindedly.

_There it is again! Too bad the lights here are so dim; you can barely see it... His flush is so … edible…_

"T-Ten points from Gryffindor! For… E-Excessive hand movements."

Pause.

"And closing your eyes. Yes. Now bottle your sad pathetic excuse for a potion-"

The bell rang outside the dungeon door.

"-and get **out**! Dismissed!!"

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#--#-

Harry rather thought that after the treatment that Granger and Weasley got on the train earlier that day, they would get the idea and stop pretending to be nice to him and stick to him like madam Pince to a first year noise maker. But apparently, he was wrong.

"Oh Harry, that was so unfair of professor Snape to take points off you like that for no reason. I mean, it doesn't matter how you use your hands, or even **blinked** for a second, as long as it's stirred correctly, right? And besides in 'Potions and Herbs for Seventh-"

Harry cut her off before she gave him a headache.

"No, he was right. I used too much hand." _And not enough mouth. Not on the place I want to, anyway. _"It was fair. No, I don't care what that book says. I probably read it already, believe it or not. Not interested. Good **bye**."

And before Weasley was able to say more then the usual unintelligent "Oi!" he was gone, off to the next lesson, which happened to be DADA. The girl watched him go in irritation.

#--#-#-#-#-#-#

On his way, Harry couldn't help but notice the big herd of slytherin first-years making its way down the dungeon corridor, chatting away nervously about something or other. On his other side, that is to say, from the way he came from, he saw Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini, walking together in their usual snobbish manner.

Harry smirked. He got an idea.

"Julia!" he called and snatched her out of the herd. "Wait a second. I want you to meet somebody."

"Harry…?" she asked, getting even more nervous. Rose Lerner, her friend and fellow slytherin, stuck behind to wait for her. She looked unsure. "What are you doing..?"

"You'll see, it'll be fun. Hey Zabini!" he called as he and Malfoy walked passed, "come here for a sec."

The two Slytherins stopped.

"What do you want, Potter?" Malfoy sneered at him.

"I want to talk to Zabini here. You can go, if you like. But you'll miss it."

"And what exactly do you think I'd not want to miss? You're well overdue tortures **death**, finally?"

"Oh, no, there's still some time for that."

Malfoy made a small sigh of disappointment.

"No, we're going to have ourselves a nice little family reunion!"

Julia grabbed Harry's arm painfully. "Harry…? What are you doing, are you crazy?"

Harry just smiled at her. "Hmm… I don't think so. But then again, I could be wrong… anyway," he turned to Zabini, "Blaise, I'd like you to meet Julia Keller. Julia, this is Blaise Zabini, and guess what?"

They both shrugged at him, a look of concern for his sanity on their faces.

"You're related! Isn't that great??" Harry was practically jumping up and down from excitement.

Zabini looked at Julia. "I'm related… to **her**?" he said in a flat voice.

"Uh huh!" Harry answered enthusiastically.

"Umm… **How**?"

"Do you want the short story or the long story?"

-#-#-#-#-#--

"Watcher, Harry!"

"Hay, Ton- err, **professor** Tonks."

She smiled at him. Harry noticed that at least her hair was a normal color this time, considering. Dark blue. Great.

"It'll be fun teaching here for a change, instead of being a student. I haven't been here in a long while…" She looked out the classroom window for a little bit, and then sighed. "Well, I suppose I will manage it all, somehow."

She kept looking out of the window, with a slightly sad face. Harry turned to see what she was looking at, when he saw, Remus Lupin out on the grounds playing…._what the hell???_...playing fetch with Sirius' dog form.

With a jolt Harry remembered a part of Dumbledore's speech that he ignored; 'let us meet our new muggle studies teacher- professor Lupin who will be returning to us for a new year with his lovely pet dog!'

Harry frowned he really ought to start working on noticing things.

"Listen Tonks, about Sirius and Rem-"

"You know? I wonder what we'll have for dinner; I fancy a roast peacock and some chips."

Harry turned to her, bewildered, and a little disgusted. "Tonks…?"

The woman went to her desk and sat down. "No, maybe I should have some pizza with-all-the-squid-toppings or a Big Mac N' goat cheese…" and then without warning she dropped her head into her hands and started sobbing loudly. Startled, Harry went to her side and started comforting her.

"What's the matter?"

Tonks raised blood shot eyes to look at him. "What's wrong with me? Why can't he just feel the same why I do? Why didn't he say that he had no feelings for me? I had to find out about him sleeping with my cousin because **the damn silencing charms wore off!**" She growled and her hair turned a black color before changing back again to dark blue, only with electric yellow streaks.

"Awww Tonks, you know there's nothing wrong with you," Harry said gently, "you're charming, funny, and smart, **professor**." He smiled. "If anything, it's Remus' and Sirius' fault for not telling you sooner, and not taking your feelings into account. You know, there's a saying: 'No man is worth your tears. And the man who is will never make you shed them'. You'll find someone better, you'll see. Some hot, straight, muscled guy who likes your hair, eyes, and sense of humor. Oh, but make sure he's not an asshole, there's a lot of 'em out there."

Tonks gave a weak snort but didn't answer.

"Even though he's my godfather, and it pains me to say anything ill about him, I still **have** to admit that he can be an idiot sometimes-"

Tonks snorted again. "Sometimes?"

"Okay, most of the time, but its part of his charm, you know? He didn't mean to hurt you intentionally, you're a favorite cousin! And Remus… Well, you just can't help who you fall in love with. Can you blame him for loving the man who became the only close friend left to him in the whole world since my father's death?"

"He- I- We were meant for each other!" she choked out. "He was supposed to be my- my- my** Remus**…" she whispered and hugged herself tightly. He came closer and hugged her, as she whipped away the tears in her eyes. "It seemed so right to me, ever since I met him, that Remus and I should end up together. It's just that- well, if we weren't meant to be, at least let the girl down easy, y'know? I didn't really appreciate the wake-up shock." Tonks gave a small, weak laugh. "Well, I hope he likes his new boyfriend. Cus' I don't think I'll be able to talk to either of them after all of this mess. Oh and by the way," she put a hand on his shoulder, "I was there when your letter arrived at the order. I really didn't think of it all that way till you said it from your prospective. I don't like what Dumbledore's doing to you either, with all his manipulations and half truths. I'm on your side now, and I'll try to muck up all my orders for your benefit, ok?"

Harry nodded a grateful smile on his face.

"And one last thing," said Tonks, "I think I know who your sources were, do I get my cookie now?"

The bell rang for the beginning of class. Harry got up and moved to his seat in the middle of the room.

"Oh, and Harry?"

He stopped and turned to look at his professor.

"Thanks."

Harry definitely has to have a **very** serious talk with his god-mutts.

Tbc.

-#-#-#-#-#--#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#--#-#-

**A/N**: Ah-huh! Another one done! And not a moment too soon, eh folks? We did have a few setbacks, but we managed!

It came to our attention that you want more sex in the story (well who wouldn't!!?). Well, you'll just have to be patient! It will **come (**such a lovely pun. And when it will, it will be brilliant, fantastic, and mind blowing, (And that's not all it'll be blowing! ;) so that's that!

Quote:_ "You know? I wonder what we'll have for dinner; I fancy roast peacock and some chips." _

Peacock? Ha! Revenge, Lucius Malfoy!! XD

If you must know, my (rock junkie) other story's doing great, thanks for asking. And you know what?

Just because you **met** our record for the most reviews to a chapter, I'll tell you the name of my new project! It's called "Watch Your Ass". I might change the name at some point, but that's that for now.

If you **break** the record for most reviews to a chapter, I'll give you a _lust filled_ preview of the hottest bit I wrote so far. I promise.

Do it. Or **else**.

P.s –forgot to add, but we counted the votes for Ginny's new play thing-we mean girlfriend… but now that we have said votes, we came to a problem- neither of us knows how to write a lesbian sex scene but if you'll give us a lot of reviews with tips, I'm sure we will manage.

___Idea: Harry should totally have his tongue pierced. With one of those rainbow colored spongy spiked balls. Gives an extra thrill in BJs, don't you think?___


	12. Bikinis…shorts…nothing at all?

**Chapter 12**: **Bikinis….shorts…nothing at all?**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

Walking to lunch, Harry mentally sniggered at the new version of DADA lessons.

Yes, Tonks knew a lot of things about dark creatures and evil thingies and yes, what she lacked in confidence she made up with enthusiasm, but she had a major problem with coordination, as she demonstrated by tripping on one of the statues in the room, making not only herself fall but also that statue, that fell on another, and another, and another, and so on.

While it was fun watching the domino affect and Tonks muttering apologies, Harry was quite disappointed that he hadn't learn anything new that lesson. Ah well- perhaps next time.

Entering the great hall he paused when he saw two very familiar students talking to one-another at the far end of the slytherin table.

Walking towards them, and ignoring the death glares sent his way, he raised his hands and placed them on Blaise's and Julia's shoulders.

With a shit eating grin, he said "How are my two favorite newly related members on this fine day???"

While Blaise was staring at him, horror-shocked, Julia rolled her eyes, _typical Harry_, and moved his hand from her shoulder.

"What are you doing here, Potter? Go back to Gryffin**DORK** table." Sneered Malfoy, who was sitting across from them.

"Oh no, I wouldn't, not till I have all the facts about my newest family-get-together project. So, have you plotted the next cousin picnic yet? Can I go too?"

"You're really annoying, you know that, right?" Asked Blaise.

"Oh yeah, about that, did you know that cousins can really annoy you after a while? I should know; I had to live with one. Not to mention **her**." He pointed at Julia. "So it would be best not to keep her around for too long, you know, or she might begin to like you and be all clingy, always following you around, never shutting up about her 'secret' crush from 4th grade-"

"Shut **up** Potter!! I didn't tell everyone about **your** miserable excuse for a first kiss-" Julia was cut off.

"-And you **won't**, not unless you want to keep what's left of your hair after that **gum incident**-"

"-Shut **up**!!!" she screamed, furious, then took a scoop of mash potatoes with the serving spoon and dumped it on Harry's head.

Silence.

Harry raised a hand to his hair and gently touched the oozing mash on his head.

Raising it to his eyes, he turned to Julia who was staring at him shocked, obviously scared for her life. As a number one rule she must have heard from the Slytherins was:

**Never piss off Harry Potter, his mother was a red head and his father a marauder**.

(A/n: all rights reserved to DikiCat for that excellent rhyme, and no.1 rule.)

"H…Harry???"

Green eyes flashed to the girl who by now noticed that her fellow house members were in a certain precautious distance from her.

Harry growled as he stood up, making Julia shrink a bit in her seat, and reached for the spaghetti and meat balls bowl. Half way through throwing it, Julia apparently got enough slytherin surviving sense as she ducked.

The meat balls spaghetti however didn't stop in mid air as it traveled to the other side of the table and hit….

Draco Malfoy.

The blond wiped the food from his face, and furious gray eyes turned to Harry. "You are **so** **DEAD **Potter!" He yelled, and threw the closest thing to him, pizza, at the annoying prat, not caring that Harry ducked at the last second and the slice was slammed into the head of a Ravenclaw third year. He just throw another dish anyway.

Julia gasped as she saw the new dish heading Harry's way, and without warning or thought quickly grabbed her cosine, Blaise, and put him in the line of fire.

Direct hit.

"Oh...Blaise I didn't mean to hit you…" Draco said to his best friend, who didn't even give a damm, as he himself grabbed some tuna salad and not even bothering to throw it, flipped it right on the ice prince of hell…I mean Slytherin's, head.

Harry didn't even realized he was in danger until someone, probably the Ravenclaw kid who was hit by the pizza, throw a macaroni and cheese chunk at him.

"FOOD FIGHT!!"

Half the Gryffindors had to duck when that scream came, as more then most of the slytherin occupants started to attack them with food.

Harry, who had taken cover under the slytherin table with Draco beside him, could hear McGonagall and the rest of the staff, trying to get order, that is until something very shocking, scary and incredibly funny happened.

"STOP this at ONCE!! You are BEHAVING like a bunch of UNCIVILISED APAS who know nothing-" McGonagall's voice trailed off and both Harry and Draco poked out their heads from beneath the table, to see some ice cream covered with chocolate dripping from the woman's face.

"Oh…" Harry started and Draco finished "**Shit.**"

"**QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!**"

The teacher bellowed, her voice raised both by sonorous as well as anger, and every single person in the hall stopped.

"This has been the **most** unbelievable display of **chaos **that I have ever witnessed. Those responsible for this abomination will step up and get their rightful punishment. And I shall start with **you **two." She glared at the slytherin table, "Potter, Malfoy, get out from under there and march to my office where we will discuss you detentions. **NOW**!"

-----------

And that's how Harry found himself in a classroom down in the dungeons, with Draco Malfoy, pansy Parkinson, Ginny Weasley (Harry had no idea how she got into this), Blaise Zabini and (she being the poor innocent victim in a fight between the two houses- or so she said to professor McGonagall in an attempt to get away from punishment,) Julia Keller joined them all in detention.

But we **are **getting ahead of time, as there was still the muggle studies class to look forward to.

--------

Harry sighed. He really didn't want to be in this class, as he grew up as a muggle, and taking a class about muggles wasn't exactly his cup of tea, but…But he knew that at least he could give a little payback to his godfathers, all for Tonks, of course.

"Hello class," Remus Lupin said, welcoming the class of Gryffindor and slytherin students, _is it just him or is Dumbledore trying to get all the students killed by mixing those two houses together in class?_ That was as far as Remus got, as Sirius, in dog form, raced through the class before jumping on Harry, making him fall as he started to lick his face.

Disgusting.

"No padfoot! Don't!" Remus yelled but wasn't exactly helping as he burst out laughing at his lover's antics.

Harry pushed the dog of him, immediately casting a cleansing charm on his face, _who knows where that__** tongue **__has been?_ "Bad dog!" He growled, affectively making Sirius stop and stare at his godson in shock, and Harry had a feeling that the man was simply shocked that his godson berated him in such fashion, "You have fleas," he said in an innocent manner, snickering when the dog growled.

Harry giggled as he leaned over and whispered in the dog's ear "Maybe you should ask moony to give you a bath…"

"Woof!" Sirius' tail wiggling around, obviously happy with the idea. Harry stood up and stared down at the dog. "No Scooby snacks for you." He snickered some more from the confused look the dog gave him.

"You okay Harry?" Remus asked almost doubling over in his laughter. His increased hearing heard everything that Harry said to the mutt, and unlike the drooling mutt, he actually understood everything.

"M' Okay professor."

Harry answered as he sat on one of the chairs in the back of the class.

"Right, class," Remus gathered everyone's attention, "this coming year's going to be very interesting for all of us, and rather enjoyable, to wizard and muggle raised students alike, not to mention the teachers. Professor Dumbledore and I had a very long chat about this year, and we came up with a schedule that will benefit, educate, and keep us all busy! As you all probably know by now, muggle studies is a must by law, and is a crucial key to understanding and peace. So, on to business!" he exclaimed, startling the students out of what they thought would be another boring speech about muggle-wizard cooperation for the peace of all mind kind yadda yadda yadda- "you have one hour of muggle studies everyday. Now, you won't just sit here in class and write dull stuff like why muggles need light bulbs or disc-mans. No. if you really want to know, why not just ask a muggle-born? I'm sure they'll tell you in a sec. what we WILL be doing will be much more fun and beneficial. Miss. Brown, will you please hand these over to the rest of the class?" he gave her a stack of paper sheets, and she walked around the class, handing each one a piece of paper with what looked like a schedule on it, and they read it all together with Lupin:

-# #-#-#-#-#

Mondays:

**Home Economics:**

Learn how to cook, sow, and take care of your home and future children **(a/n: baby project! Pair up and take care of a magical baby doll that poops, cries and eats) **like any average muggle home! Nutrition, muggle human development, interior design, textiles, family economics, housing, human sciences, and human ecology!

Tuesdays: 

**Computers and Electronics: **

Connect and interact with the wonders of muggle electronics and computers! Learn the intriguing history of muggle technology and how to operate simple tasks on the computer, how to work and use everyday muggle appliances!

Wednesdays: 

**Home Economics and Workshop OR Art and Painting: **

Learn how to build useful things from wood clay and metal, in our own muggle workshop! Chairs, tables, wood art, swords and pottery! Build electrical contraptions and learn their use in everyday muggle life!

OR:

Paint like the pros in muggle art and painting! Learn the history and culture of muggle art and the fine points of sculpturing and painting in different styles and materials!

Thursdays:

**Physical Education: **

Spend some time in the outdoors and learn all about muggle sports and fitness! PE will include muggle sports games, team competition and weekly workouts. (boys and girls separated.)

Friday Nights: 

**MOVIE NIGHT! **

Watch the classic muggle movies in our new movie night special!

Saturdays: 

**OPTINAL, Music day program. **

Learn how to play an instrument and join our newly formed school band! (On non-quiddich and non-Hogsmeade weekends.)

ALSO:

Races and sport tournaments between teams! (Sorted by year and gender.)

-#-#-#-#-#

The was much exited murmuring in the class room as they finished reading the schedule sheet.

"Hmm… Professor?" Harry raised his hand in the air; he really couldn't help but tease his wolffather a bit more. "All of the sportive activities will include teachers, right? To encourage student-teacher bonding?"

Remus gave him a knowing grin. "Yes Harry, it has taken most of Dumbledore's convincing to agree to that, but yes, all of the **fit** teachers will participate in the sporting activities."

Harry was glad Remus stressed the fit as a completely scary picture of McGonagall in a bikini and Dumbledore in just his underwear came into his mind. In order to wipe it all clean Harry quickly came up with a picture of Severus naked with just a towel on, in order to relive him.

While incredibly hot, said picture gave him a different problem none the less. He acted as usual.

"Any more questions?" Remus asked and one of the Slytherins raised his hand, and with a considerable amount of disgust in his voice he said "Do we **have** to participate? I mean this is just filthy mug…. I mean some of us don't know how to play these…games." He finished and Harry sent him a small smirk at how he changed his sentence after a well placed glare from the wolf…or maybe it had something to do with the growl Sirius gave.

Remus smirked "well you'll just have to learn then, won't you? Any more questions?" Harry raised his hand yet again.

"Yes, Harry?"

The boy gave an innocent grin, that didn't fool Remus in the slightest. "So does this include swimming?"

Frowning, Remus nodded and Harry grinned "That means you and the younger staff members will be wearing swimsuits? Bikinis….shorts…nothing at all?" He giggle a bit at the end, and he wasn't the only one, as some of the students perked up at that, obviously they had not thought of that option, and Harry smirked in pleasure as he saw some of the girls, and one or two boys, checking Remus out.

Remus coughed as he himself felt a blush coming on; trust Sirius' godson to worry about things like that.

"Yes Harry, we will also have swimming competitions, if you were wondering…"

Harry smirked as he cocked his head to the side in what he later heard was a very cute way.

"What about those who don't know how to swim? Will one of the professors teach them? You know…one on one practices?" he gave a rueful wink and Remus laughed, "Perhaps, don't get your hopes up."

"Now we are going to start off with computers; the way they work and how to activate them and then we'll turn them on! So get ready…"

Harry grinned as he walked to the computer's lab in the class next door. Professor moony explained to them about how all of their muggle classrooms will be spread on this floor, and in case of explanations or gatherings they will be in the main classroom which is the one they just left.

Soon everyone was seated next to a computer and Remus explained about the screen, keyboard and mouse (the last made purebloods frown as they wondered about the mouse that didn't look anything like a mouse at all, and that was after some of the girls had to be convinced down from the chairs they were standing on, that it wasn't a real mouse and it wouldn't hurt them), then came the faze where Remus explained about the net, and games as well as word documenting and e-mail, (making their, purebloods, god bless them, head spin from all the new information which they wrote down) before they were all finely allowed to turn on the computers.

That was the one thing that made all the muggle-born/raised children reach their limits as they cracked up, not being to take all of the…. (Remus will be in the leaned and bold writing)

What was that noise?!? (one screamed as she backed away) /_**that was the computer starting itself, it's not going to hurt you.**_

What are those light things is it going to explode!??/ _**No it's just the entrance to the desktop, it is called a desktop because…. you usually work on a desktop.**_

I pressed a button and it stuck its tongue at me!!/ _**That was the CD drive, where you place a disk that holds some form of information.**_

Why are the pictures there not moving/ _**Muggle pictures don't move**_/ oh? Then what is this? (points to a moving icon) / _**this is some form of animation which is the art of moving stilled pictures**_

And the like…. The most surprising of all was when they saw Lavender Brown ticking away at the computer with a rapt expression on her fast, as her eyes roved the pages. When she noticed that most were staring at her simply glared as she spoke icily "What? It's just chat rooms." She defended, rolling her eyes. but Harry knew she was lying as those sites he saw on the screen were not chat rooms but rather virus security things and the like…_who knew that Lav Lav was a computer geek and our very own hacker!!?_

**(A/n:: movie idea:: instead of FREE WILLY- the dolphin movie, FREE **_**MY**_** WILLY-the porn movie!) **

"Professor?" Harry put his hand in the air as a sudden thought hit him and Lupin walked over to him. "How did you manage this? As far as I know there is too much magic in the air around Hogwarts for computers to work. And besides, shouldn't this be against the misuse of muggle artifacts law or something?" And then in a whisper that only Lupin (and maybe Sirius, if he was really listening) could hear, he said "We need to talk later about Tonks, she's depressed."

"Yes Harry, that's a very good question!" The professor exclaimed, seemingly ignoring Harry's whisper. "Dumbledore was able with consent from the ministry, to create this sort of 'bubble' if you will, that encourages electronic devices to work, and even supplies the power- magic, instead of electricity, which would be difficult to get in this area. We are tapped into the wireless internet system of the nearest muggle city, the magic enlarging and magnifying the signal as the place is very far away from here. So- serf the web, play, and have fun! We will start on Microsoft word next week. Now take your time to adjust to working on a computer, and if you need any help, call me, or any muggle-born student here. Enjoy!" And he was off, joining his 'dog' in the corner. Harry noticed that he whispered something to him, and the dog shook his head a bit, and then gave a small bark and growl.

Lupin backed off, before he growled right back at the dog. Said dog just shook his head and growled even louder, adding a little bark to it. Not long after a sort of 'tug of war' started with lupine's jacket being ripped apart by both Padfoot's and Mooney's mouths.

As the noise got louder and louder, the seventh year class turned, startled, to see the cause of the animalistic noises, and staring when they found it.

Lupin apparently came into his senses under their stares and dropped his jacket from his mouth, blushing. He stammered "Oh, just ignore me…" He tried blending into the background and while turning back to their computers, everyone could hear Draco Malfoy saying "Always knew he was a weirdo…" And Harry couldn't resist a chuckle.

Harry grinned as he looked at something that caught his eye on his screen. _Maybe I should get 'uncle Jonny' to buy me one of these…for the show of course_… He giggled as he saw Remus walking towards him.

"Harry, what are you looking…at??" his godfather stared at the screen shocked and Harry turned innocent puppy eyes at him "I don't know…it just came up... I didn't **do** anything…" _(Liar liar pants on fire)_ He grinned before adding quietly so that only Remus could hear "But it does look good, right? How much do you think it costs?"

Remus blushed furiously as the thought of using it on Sirius came up to his mind, and he really couldn't help but let out a tiny moan. With Harry smiling knowingly at him, Lupin coughed, "Perhaps you should take my computer while I …. While I sort this problem."

Harry grinned at him "Sure **professor** whatever you say," and got up.

He walked over to where Blaise was sitting and quickly whispered something into his ear, causing the boy to chock and turn wild eyes at him. "Really??" He gasped and Harry gave a knowing wink. Looking around, to make sure that nobody was looking their way, he whispered again, and if anyone bothered to listen, they would have heard '….is staring at you all the time...' and '….love his blond hair surrounding his face….' and the most incriminating of all '….those big pouting kissable lips that makes you unable to resist leaning over….'

_Maybe now Draco would finally get laid_, Harry snickered mentally at his genius plan, _must be the part of the genes I got from mom, they were bound to come up sometime_.

Blaise frowned, thinking of Harry's proposal, if he had to admit, the thought was tempting…Oh who was he kidding he was dreaming of his blond angel ever since third grade, and he was as close as giving up on him as much as Potter was ready to finally admit that he didn't like girls (honestly who was that boy kidding with?!?), but to actually **do it**?? Should he…?

"Okay, I'm in." he said a second later leaving Harry grinning in victory as the lesson ended.

"Harry, oh god, how I missed you!" Harry gasped as he was hugged to death by his godfather, panting hard Harry breathed out, "I need air!"

"Oh, sorry," The dog-man blushed as he let go. Harry rolled his eyes. "You do realize you saw me during the whole class, right?"

Sirius raised a hand to his chest and another to his forehead, stumbling a few steps backwards. "How can you **say** that??? I am your godfather, your favorite in all of the world!" He turned to his lover, "Did you hear that moony? Harry's questioning my sanity!"

Remus snickered at his lover's antics. "Your sanity, or lack there of, needs to be questioned, padfoot."

Said dog just growled, making a thought appear in Harry's mind. "Hey Remus, what the **fuck** was that during class?"

Said werewolf just flushed. "I don't know, I think it has something to do with the new version of Wolfsbane Severus has been giving me to try out, it made me feel all puppy like." He giggled before covering his mouth, "See?" He gestured as he dissolved in giggles yet again.

Harry sent a smirk to the wolf, "Maybe it's just your libido awakening." Sirius gave a snort as he grabbed his lover by the waist "Now what is it that I saw you looking at on the computer?" He nipped Remus' ear causing the man to gasp and moan when his thoughts returned to that fantasy. "Oh, just a little thing I want to try…" with that he slammed his lips with Sirius, not caring about the 'child' in the room. (Inappropriate behavior! gasp, report report! …oh forget it too hot.)

Sirius moaned hard and broke the kiss off only to whisper "Well… I wouldn't want to deprive you of your heart's desire" he grinned as he dragged the professor to his office door, leaving Harry in the classroom thinking that maybe that talk about Tonks would have to wait….

-------

Harry sat at dinner, Ginny leaning over him to reach the strawberry tart she wanted, laughing with Neville about the 'unfortunate' accident that happened to Smith right after muggle studies.

Really it was so strange how he tried to enter a boy's bathroom only to bump into moaning myrtle instead, by mistake of course, and to get an icy kiss from her, then to see her blush an icy blue, before performing a head dive into the toilet. Again completely accidental…weird huh?

Ron and Hermione were sitting a few seats away, and noticing, Ginny turned to Harry with a smile "Oh, sorry, I do hope you don't mind, do you darling? I just really want that tart." She asked and Harry knowing why, simply grinned as he grabbed her waist. "For you my love, I would endure the deepest pit in hell." The girl giggled and placed a kiss on Harry's cheek (one of their rules was no kissing on the mouth due to one reason or another. And when someone questioned them about it, they simply said that they were saving it all for the wedding day.) Harry sighed as he turned to watch the head table for a certain someone.

He was truly upset that he seemed to be running out of ideas on how to complete his 'seducing-Severus-Snape-so-he-could-fuck-me-so-hard' scheme.

Maybe Fred and George could give me some ideas….

He sighed as he got up with Ginny at his side and started making their way to detention.

He wondered what it will bring, before perking up when he remembered that it will be served in Snape's dungeon. He quickly hurried his footsteps…..

Tbc…

--------

A/n: we're evil like that….. So no detention… yet.

_I (RockJunkie) have to say that even though some people DID appreciate our writing and story telling skills, some however, do not. And MOST of you, who read our story don't understand that promises should be kept on both sides of the fandom world. _

_So, DikiCat and I, yours truly, have decided that collective punishment is in order. Personally, I just wish I could spank you all, but that would just turn you on, wouldn't it? (I know I'm hot!) But, due to time and space constraints, we can't really do that, now can we? _

**No no no, we can, I just came up with it! You know… my super cool idea….!** _What is it?..._** we can send it to them virtually!!!... **_smart… _** smack! ha! I bet you loved that! **

_Anyway… I will NOT gift you with a lusty preview from my 'watch your ass' story. (yeah yeah quit your whining,) BUT… I will give a SMALL preview only for those who did keep their promise._

spell being cast so that only worthy people can view

_"So responsive…" Said the person behind him quietly, "Hmm… I wonder…"_

_"Yup, rim-job slut. What do you think, Draco, will he beg me for it?" He gave another lick and Harry shivered._

_Harry was trembling, legs spread as much as he can in his half standing stance. He wished he was sitting, or lying down, or floating in mid air, didn't matter as long as he could get more of those tongues on him, in him, around him. _

spell ending

Nah nah nah nah, not all of you could see that, could you? I am such a genious!

So… do try harder next time, and I promise, the next one will be from DikiCat's story! Severus/Harry/Lucius one, you know you'd like it.

Now onto other news, next chapter will have a sex scene in it, won't tell you who's but oh so very hot.

P.s forgot to add, due to DikiCat's unfortunate end of first semester (where had that time go to) it will appear that she will be absent in writing the next chapter...not all of it mind you but the majority of it all will go RockJunkie, wish me luck I better not fail.

See you next time!


	13. But, aren't you a Master?

**Chapter 13: But, aren't you a Master?**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

A/n: yes, we're updating. Rejoice!

We are updating now because… we ran out of ideas.

JOKE! JOKE!

Stop throwing whatever you're eating at us!

The anticipation was just KILLING us!

(And you don't want two dead bodies on your hands…do you? Oh, you do…well too bad)

--90210-----

Harry glared sulkingly as he sat in his chair in the potions dungeon, _damm damm damm damm_, he thought, as he cursed his bad luck.

"Harry? You do know that every time you bang your head into that desk you lose around… two brain cells?" A voice questioned but before Harry could answer another piped up.

"**What **brain cells? If he **had** any, we wouldn't have ended up in this mess in the first place."

"Up yours, Draco, **dearest**, you're just being an annoying little **shit**."

Silence.

"What did you just call me?"

"You heard me! But if you want, I could call you something else, I have a whole verity of insults, tailored just for you, up me sleeve."

"Guys…" Harry stood up and glared at Ginny and Draco who were arguing in the middle of the empty potions class. His protest, though, was ignored as the two continued to bitch at one another.

"Listen here weaselet, just because you were raised in a** barn** doesn't mean that others were."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "A barn? Well, okay, so my brothers living there… **does** make it a trashed barn, but what the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Draco snorted as he sat on one of the desks "It's the truth." He said in a matter of fact kind of way "besides, you know it's yours and Potter's fault that we're here."

Julia decided to interrupt before Ginny unleashed her famous red hair temper.

"What?! No it isn't."

Draco glared at her impatiently.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it isn't."

"**Yes,** it **is.**"

"**No,** it **isn't.**"

"YES IT **IS**!"

"NO IT **ISN'T**!!"

"**Shut up**!!" Blaise yelled, finally tiring of the fight.

Draco stared at him, shocked, but Blaise wasn't deterred. "Draco, you are fighting a three year old battle with an eleven year old girl."

Said boy's mask slipped for a second as his eyes displayed shock and embarrassment, before it was restored.

"She started it." He answered, stomping his foot, and Harry couldn't help it and burst out laughing. Honestly, all he had to do now was stick out his tongue and they'll be back to kindergarten.

Draco turned to him. "What's so funny, Potter?"

Harry glanced at Blaise, and then sent a mischievous smirk to the blond boy. "You two should totally kiss and make up already." He spoke making sure to use the same matter of fact tone that Draco used, which was answered by a chock from pansy and a giggle from Julia and Ginny, "you can't let petty little things like this get in the way of your lovey-dovey kissy-fucking aspirations for each other."

Draco and Blaise were to busy staring at him shocked to even think of answering.

Pansy however reacted fast and looked at him as if he just puked. "No way, they're best **friends**, not lovers."

Ginny laughed "And what, may I ask, do you know about the difference between best friends and **fuck** buddies?"

Pansy was so amazed at Ginny's remark and daring that she almost forgot to snap back. Almost.

"You are not instituting what I think you are! (Translation: And WHAT exactly is THAT supposed to mean?)" Julia gave a giggle "oh, using big words are we?" (Translation: Only what we all know already, Parkinson. been busy lately?)

Harry turned to look at pansy before she could answer, fuming "Oh come on, like you haven't seen the way Draco stares at him, all longing for a kiss…or a **fuck**?"

Pansy gave a very undignified squeak as Draco turned red from shock and indignation.

"What??!?!??" He shrieked and Harry raised an eyebrow.

"You mean to tell me that you don't?"

The boy simply flushed and Harry had his answer.

Blaise turned to his best friend. "Draco?"

"Just because Potter's a fag, doesn't mean that everyone is."

But his blush betrayed him.

Harry gave a big bark of laughter, completely ignoring the shocked silence that followed Draco's statement, before saying "Are you saying you wouldn't like a hard, leaking cock in you?"

Wide eyes turned to him but before the boy could answer, Harry stepped toward Draco, making the boy take several steps backwards as he moved, until he was against the wall and could retreat no more.

"Wh...What are you doing?" He stammered, the Malfoy pride shooting down, and Harry gave him a coyest wink. "Oh, come now, Draco…" He purred the name into his enemy's ear.

"You crave for him to fuck you, own you, don't you, pet? You wanted to be spread open for him ever since you saw him naked in the showers, haven't you? Wanked every night to those naughty images of him in your head, claiming you in every possible way?" He continued ignoring the shocked scandalized looks he got, and the room was so silent that everyone heard what he whispered to him next.

"He wants you, pet, and all you have to do is give it to him. Let him take you to pleasures and pains you have never known before…."

Draco swallowed the lump in his throat "Really?" He whispered before blushing madly when he heard Blaise's breathe hitch.

Harry nodded and with another smirk pushed Draco even more on the wall, his leg sliding down to rub the boy's erection, eliciting a shudder.

"Will you beg for it, pet?" Draco gave a small moan as Harry rubbed a bit harder. "Yes" he whispered but Harry tutted, "That just won't do!"

Draco glared at him "YES!" He half shouted and Harry left him, making him curse as he found himself falling with no support to hold him up.

"Well Blaise, he's all yours." He informed the Italian boy with a winning smile.

Ginny, Julia and Pansy stared in not-so concealed fascination as Blaise walked over to his best friend and hoisted him up.

Draco shuddered harder then ever under the intensity of Blaise's stare, so turned on that he was panting even without one single touch.

"Well, pet? Are you going to beg?" He asked and Draco's eyes widen at the words, without a warning he grabbed the front of Blaise's robes, pulled him forward and slammed their lips together.

Ginny gave a squeal of delight as Julia clapped hard.

The two new lovers blushed at the attention as they also realized what they have done.

They stared at the grinning Gryffindor before Draco glared. "You tell anyone Potter, and you're **dead**." But Harry just laughed.

"And why would I do that? I am the reason you two are together in the first place, so you two…**owe** me!" He finished and smiled at the two shocked looks he received.

"Alright, Potter," Blaise sighed, resigned, "what do you want?"

Harry pretended to think. "I'm sure I'll come up with something."

"NO!!" Pansy apparently got over her silenced shock. "H…How can you two even be….how can you two think…do…that's **disgusting**! Appalling! And wrong! Draco's supposed to be **mine**!" She glared at Potter as if it was his fault, which it was.

Ginny frowned "What's wrong, exactly? Them being together? As in two guys together?"

Pansy gave her a 'Duh!' glare. "Of course. That's just not natural."

Julia bristled in agitation and anger; one thing she learned from her uncle's job was that two people can be together no matter what, meaning age was no problem and certainly not gender. Ginny turned to the disgusted slytherin girl. "Have you ever tried it?"

Pansy looked highly affronted. "Why **would **I?"

Ginny shrugged. "It usually helps when you try something before hating it," she gestured gently to the girl who remained glaring hatefully. "How do you know if it's no good? You haven't even tried!"

"I will **not**!"

Ginny smirked as Harry leaned over and whispered something in her ear.

"What are you saying there Potter?" Pansy asked, a little nervous.

Ginny laughed as she walked toured the girl "Oh, he just told me something that I am sure you'll adore" She grinned as she stood in front of 'Draco's one and only true love' (her words not Ginny's).

"And what's that?"

Ginny giggled with a saucy grin, "Oh, you'll just have to wait and see. Don't worry, you'll love it."

"WHAT? I will nev-MMMM!" she trailed off as Ginny employed the same trick Draco did; grabbing the front of pansy's robes, pulling her forward and kissing her.

Hot was one way to call that kiss; one tongue battling the other, pansy's arms trying to push Ginny away as a small part of her seemed to surrender to the kiss as she fought between pushing away and back. Ginny being no novice in the kissing department started to suck the girl's tongue in, her hands grabbing the other's hair trialing them, pulling hard at times, to get some pain-pleasure in to the package.

Pansy moaned at one part and gasped at another, with Ginny's harsh breathing accenting the whole scene.

At last both broke off, each breathing hard.

"Wh..." Pansy said dazedly, her hand rising to trace her puffed lips.

"Yes?" Ginny said, no sign of a smirk on her flushed face "Want more?" she added cheekily, causing pansy to blush "N...No"

"Seem a bit unsure of yourself, aren't you?"

Pansy sent another glare her way, it being not even remotely affective in her new state of wear.

Before anyone could comment the door opened and Snape walked in.

Each couple broke apart and tried not to look guilty.

"Potter!" Snape glared at the boy who wondered why in the world was he always the one to blame. "Yes Master Snape?" He asked with a flirtatious grin.

Severus glared at him, but Harry could have sworn he saw the tell-tale signs of his blush.

"What is going on here?"

Harry bit his lip, before he smiled "Nothing's **up**, Master Snape."

"Quit calling me that, Potter." The man growled and Harry adopted an innocent expression.

"But, aren't you a Master?"

Draco snickered as he saw his godfather trying to fight a losing battle, he had no idea why Potter started acting like this (for one thing, being so bold, hitting on his godfather for another…) but as Potter was the reason he found his love….he decided he would enjoy it while it lasted.

Snape's eyes narrowed on his godson, when he heard him laughing "Something's funny, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco quickly schooled his face blank. "No Sir."

Snape nodded before turning back to the Boy-who-didn't-have-the-decency-to-die-when-wanted.

"Call me that again and you will be punished, Potter." he spoke triumph-ly thinking that he won, but Harry's smile just widened.

"Really sir? You would punish me? How? I do hope by spanking me, I have no problem with a whip either."

This time Harry knew he wasn't imagining the blush.

"Out, **out**, OUT!!!" The man yelled, his finger pointing to the direction of the door.

Julia didn't need to be told twice and raced out the door, Ginny was second as she grabbed pansy's hand and dragged her off. Blaise and Draco followed at a much more sedated pace.

Harry lingered for a second by the door "Are you sure you don't want to punish me, Master Snape?"

He quickly raced out of the door when a hex was hurled his way.

---------

Harry flopped on his chair in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room.

_Maybe I was too forward? Maybe he likes them virgin?…what if that's it? What will I do then? I could lie and say I am, no he will find out…shame he didn't punish me, I would have liked that…maybe he likes it rough? Or maybe gentle is more his style? No never, that's Snape I'm thinking about, rough is defiantly him, rough and passionate, and probably eve-_

Before Harry could become more involved in those thoughts, a pesky fly and an ugly worm interrupted him.

"Oh my god Harry, we were so worried" Hermione's voice screeched and Harry thought his ears would pop.

"And why is **that**?" Harry mocked not paying attention in the slightest to the conversation.

"Because of your detention with the greasy git," Ron spoke obviously thinking that Harry was so stupid in not figuring it out.

Harry rolled his eyes, _why did I come here again?_ He wondered to himself before answering it; _Ginny took off with Pansy Parkinson to god knows where_.

"Are you okay Harry? Snape wasn't too hard on you, was he?" The bookworm spoke and Harry winced at the sound of her voice.

"No Granger, he wasn't hard on me" _though I wish he was hard because of me, or better yet, in me._

"Why do you call me Granger, Harry?" Granger said with a frown.

Harry stood up, _damm her for ruining my thoughts about Severus again_, "Listen here bitch, You.Are.Not.My.Friend!!! Get it?!"

With that he took of to **his** dorm making sure to shoot back a tripping hex to Ron who followed him, probably to protect Granger's honor, if she even had any, anymore.

---------

_What a bitch_, Harry stared at the ceiling of **his** bed, _for someone who is_ _supposed to have some brains she sure is stupid._

His first day seemed more like a week, and damm, there are three more, long, long days to go till the weekend. Will he always be this tired after every day? He decided to try and sleep some more.

He sighed in agitation. What he wouldn't give to have one or both of the twins with him, better yet Severus himself.

He smiled as he trailed his hand downwards, and started stroking himself to the thought of Master Snape with a whip and leather pants.

He moaned hard as he pictured himself kneeling in front of the man, hands bound together behind his back, mouth gagged by a piece of black cloth.

His hand stroked harder and the words 'filthy slave, you've been a very bad whore. I'm going to have to punish you now. But you'll love it, won't you, pet?' Floated in his mind.

He was close, so close to coming when the damm spells went off and his door was slammed open.

His hand flow from his cock the minute Ginny appeared in his room.

Catching sight of his flushed face and guilty expression, Ginny had no problem in deducting what happened, and she summoned it up in one, well placed word.

"Eww!"

"Funny Weasley, really amusing." Harry glared at the girl who perched herself on his bed.

"Oh Harry, you won't believe the night I just had!" She swooned before falling on the bed dramatically. A second later she jumped up in hurried disgust.

Taking her wand out she pointed it at the 'innocent' bed and muttered all the cleaning spells she knew (and being raised by her mom, that meant quite a lot) before adding some others; one being an odor refreshing charm.

"Disgusting, Harry," She concluded before perching herself on the corner of his bed "you should really learn to lock your door," she added.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Trust the sister of a gringotts ward breaking Weasley to comment on locking doors."

"I'll have you know that I did not break into your room. For me to actually do that, the wards that surrounded it would have to be a bit better." She shot right back.

"Besides" she added "who would break into your room just to see you wank to pictures of your **Master**?" she said the last word in a sort of fake, breathy moan.

Again Harry rolled his eyes. "**Why** are you here again?"

Ginny brightened up "Oh right, you just reminded me." she turned to him, and Harry was really glad that Ginny was on his side at the moment because the look she had on was scary!

"You have no idea what I've just done to pansy."

"I'm dying to know." Harry spoke dryly, but Ginny either missing his sarcasm or ignoring it completely, nodded with a smile "I know you do!"

"So it started like this…."

--FLASHBACK---

Ginny grinned as she dragged Pansy to one of the abandoned classrooms in the dungeons.

"How do you even know about these rooms?" Pansy asked but Ginny simply smirked and didn't answer.

"Why are we here Weasley?" Pansy persisted and glared when she saw the bed in the room Ginny dragged her in.

"Well Weasley, answer me!!!!" she demanded when no answer was fore coming.

Ginny turned to look at her, before pulling her forward by the same hand she still held to.

"Wh…mmm" Pansy broke off when her lips were possessed yet again.

** (interruption)**

"Do I really have to listen to this? I mean, okay, fine, so you kissed her, but do I have to hear all the details?"

"YES! Now shut up and listen. There's more."

** (back to flashback.)**

The kiss felt so good, and Ginny could feel Pansy shaking in her arms.

Breaking off, the witch smiled "I just want you to see that it can be good" she spoke softly.

Pansy gasped when she felt Ginny caressing her face, the gesture obviously too romantic for her to believe Ginny was capable of.

She moaned when the other witch's hands slowly started to trail downwards, reaching her school robes and slowly unbuttoning them.

"N...no stop" Pansy whispered not really knowing why as she felt herself liking it, Ginny ignored her again, undoubtedly realizing it too.

** (interruption)**

"Yes, please, stop before my ears bleed"

"Shut the hell up!"

** (back to flashback.)**

The robe came off and Ginny hummed her appreciation for the clothes and body it hid; an elegant white dress shirt made of silk by the feel of it, a deep green skirt which only reached pansy's thighs, not that Ginny minded.

"You're beautiful" Ginny spoke and Pansy blushed.

It was true though, once you could have called Pansy Parkinson a pug faced witch but not anymore. It is almost like the ugly duckling fairytale; Pansy wasn't pretty at first but as she grow up she seemed to develop into her looks and now…now she had her black hair falling into her face; it reaching to her lower back. Her deep chocolate eyes seemed a bit bigger by the long lashes she possessed.

All in all, Ginny was right.

** (interruption)**

"Oh come on! Who the hell turned you into a damm mushy lezzy? Fuck. This is worse then listening to Petunia's soap operas"

Ginny raised her wand threateningly and Harry gave her an innocent look

** (back to flashback) **

"Let's see what's under these clothes" Ginny murmured and Pansy hesitantly nodded, apparently she wanted to find out the truth about it all.

** (interruption)**

"No please don't, I'll be good I swear!" Harry said his fingers crossed behind his back.

"Harry! You are ruining one of the best moments of my life! Shut it!"

** (back to flashback)**

"Ha…have you ever done this before?" she asked and Ginny frowned for a moment before realizing what she meant "no" it was simple but seeing the surprise in Pansy's eyes she added "but I think I know what I am doing"

Pansy nodded and Ginny proceeded in pulling pansy's shirt above her head.

The girl was naked under the shirt, and Ginny's breath hitched as she saw the lovely globes the girl's robe hid.

Unconsciously she raised her hand to trace them, moving one to trace the erect nipple, before her head lowered and she sucked it into her mouth.

A moan from above her broke her from her daze, and Ginny froze.

When meeting no resistance except for the hands that started to trail in her hair, Ginny went back to her job.

Slowly as if to not alert to Pansy that something was going on, Ginny's tongue started making licks around Pansy's nipple while the rest of her mouth slowly sucked.

"Ahhh" Pansy gasped and writhed as Ginny's mouth continued its assault.

"You like it!" Ginny smiled knowingly once she ceased her actions.

Pansy panting a bit glared at her "that doesn't mean a thing" she protested not realizing until too late that it was the wrong thing to say.

(interruption)

"Why? What did you do?"

"Well, let me finish and you will know"

(back to flashback)

Ginny pounced on her before pansy knew what happened.

She yelled a bit as she fell to the bed she had not realized she was near to.

"Are you an idiot? What did you do that for?" she glared but Ginny just giggled "I guess I'm eager".

"Well…" pansy started but didn't get to finish as Ginny shut her up by kissing her again.

Whatever Ginny said about being eager was a lie as her hands slowly started trailing down pansy's body, reaching the skirt and slowly lowering it, her underwear were quick to follow.

"Please" a gasp and moan combined in one as Ginny moved away from her mouth and started to kiss her way down.

(interruption)

"Please tell me this isn't going where my imagination is telling me it's going"

Ginny ignored him.

2(back to flashback)

Pausing at her chest for a moment, stopping at her navel for a second but then when she arrived to the top of pansy's sex she stopped completely.

Pansy raised her self on her arms before looking at the other witch with a frown "why did you stop?" she asked and Ginny blushed, all the prêt ant of knowing what to give, what she wanted, disappeared in a flash.

"Am I allowed?" she asked and pansy's eyes widened before she let herself drop back to the bed with four simple words "sure, go right ahead"

Ginny moaned hard when her tongue tasted pansy for the first time. She would not call it sweet, it was more salty then anything but it had a certain quality that made Ginny love it, want it and she did.

Licking slowly at pansy's clit, Ginny was rewarded by the witch's legs spreading more as she shuddered in her arms, a gasp brought her from her musing of the divine creature before her and Ginny went back to work.

"More...please" was heard as a finger joined Ginny's tongue.

In and out the rhythm went and Ginny was sure that it would be too soon if it would end. She had no idea how it felt to the witch above her but like she told pansy a few moments before, she thought she knew what she wanted. And she did, after all every single time she touched herself, she imagined what it would all feel like.

When her fingers stroked that place deep inside her the one that caused Goosebumps to appear on her skin, the one that made her spread her legs even more as she tried to will her throat to not let any sound leave.

She knew some of what pansy must be feeling right now but even then, it was never been done to her, all she ever managed to do with the boys she dated was kissing and if touching was involved it usually happened to the guy as Ginny never felt comfortable enough to let someone touch her so intimately.

"Please" echoed again from above and Ginny added another finger, reaching in, stroking the girl's insides, pulling her one step closer to the sweet end she so wanted.

Ginny grinned around her mouth as she tilted her fingers upwards, pressing against her sweet spot, making pansy scream as she arched up and climaxed hard.

A moan told her that Ginny enjoyed every taste of her juices.

(interruption)

"Is it over now?????" Harry whined and Ginny glared.

"This is the best part so shut it!"

(back to flashback)

As pansy lay there panting, Ginny raised herself from the bed before starting to fix her appearance.

Pansy frowned as she stared at the other girl "what are you doing?"

Ginny ignored her in the favor of fixing her hair in a neat ponytail. Then, she finally spoke.

"Well? What do you think?"

"Of what?" pansy panted, her eyes have yet to leave Ginny's mouth which gave her unbelievable pleasure.

"Of same sex pairings. Do you still think it's wrong?... disgusting?... unnatural?"

"Yes- I mean- no, well-"

"You know what? Call me when you make up your mind."

------END FLASHBACK----

Harry gave a squeal that made Ginny wonder how in the world people still thought he was straight.

"You said that? OMG that is like one of the best moment's of.my.life!!!" he was bouncing up and down on his bed in excitement.

Ginny grinned widely "I KNOW!!! Told you would like it….but nooo you just had to argue"

Harry pouted "I thought it was just cwazy wesbians sex! Who was I to think that there was something totally funny and amazing in it all??"

Ginny giggled at his words "well, you know what to do then, don't you?"

Harry frowned "no, what?"

Ginny laid down on the bed next to him "listen to me all the time, of course!"

Harry laughed hard before he quieted down; turning to Ginny he spoke "so…is the story over?"

Ginny smacked his head "shut up potter and yeah it is"

Harry gave a deep sigh of relief "good, I wouldn't know what to do if I had to listen to more lesbian sex" he quickly had to start running before Ginny, who grabbed her wand, started to hex him.

Tbc.

----------

A/n: oh thank you, thank you, we love you all. Yes, yes, keep throwing the flowers towards us. Oh chocolates? Yes we like those too, give it to us.

Did you like? Then review god dammit. I mean what the hell do you think this a/n is for? No, it isn't for our pleasure and no, it isn't just because we like to hear ourselves speak…can you even say that when it is in writing??? (DikiCat ponders).

As this is the 13th chapter we wanted it to be lucky or unlucky depends on how one perceives it. So we have decided to give you a preview-

DikiCat: we? Who the hell is we? I don't remember deciding nothing or something...or anything

RockJunkie: okay it was me who decided-

DikiCat: aha. I knew it!!!!

RockJunkie: will you let me finish? God you are worst then Harry

DikiCat: what? No I'm not.

RockJunkie: yes you are

DikiCat: No! I'm not.

RockJunkie: yes! You are! Now shut it, or we will do the same thing Draco and Julia did…unplanned of course.

DikiCat: of course!

Anyhow… **we **wanted to give you a preview-

DikiCat: but I don't want to give it to them…they didn't review a lot.

RockJunkie (sighing): I know, but if we will be nice to them then they will be nice to us.

DikiCat: this is the kind of shit Remus spouts, how did that enter your mouth? And if it entered how I hope…I mean think it entered…tell me!!

RockJunkie: persistent little bugger….listen carefully, I didn't had sex with Remus or anyone really, they are fictional in case you forgot.

DikiCat: they are real to me!

RockJunkie: and we all know you are a book loving freak (sticks tongue at her).

DikiCat: you're one too! And there (sticks tongue right back)

Anyway…here is a small preview **we** will give you, **shut it DikiCat**!

--------

_**"But you let me taste you"**_

_**"You will never come without your master's permission!"**_

…_**. long, rough, scratching ropes tied his hands together….**_

…_**.a whip, his mind supplied…..**_

…_**."please let me come"….**_

---------

Here you go, enjoy.

More news!

On a recently found information, DikiCat got C on one of her exams (insert gasps) yes, yes, shocking I know. Luckily she will reset the test (she will have to pay money first…thieves).

The sex scene as well as the kissing scene involving pansy and Ginny was written by yours truly (DikiCat) as well as the scene where Harry almost wanked.

Our news cast got this comment: '…it is one of the things I want to do yet unfortunately had not been able to get laid (hadn't been able to find me a gal) so I decided to give you this..'

Let's wish her luck.

RockJunkie has been heard playing her new song (she plays the guitar) and let just say that it is a success. She will have to publish it soon!

Our news cast got this comment: '… I still need to work on the chorus, but right now I really think it is one of my best songs…'

Well, till next time folks…..

-#-#-#-#-#-#hphphphphph-#-#


	14. Am I supposed to touch it?

**Chapter 14: Am I supposed to touch it?**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

It was a bright Wednesday morning, with birds singing outside and a maaaaa-gicaaal rainbow peaking out from under the sun….oh, who was Harry kidding? This new Wednesday morning looked like **shit**, what with those damm clouds and no potions class to amuse him today. He just thought he would go through it, but no potions- it got him a bit down.

Or it could have been Granger, who sat next to him, uninvited at breakfast, muttering something at him that he really didn't give a damm about.

'…it's weird, I mean I swear I saw him looking at you Harry, and it wasn't with hate so it was even weirder…"

Harry frowned as he caught that phrase "Wait, who was looking at me?"

Granger frowned in annoyance, not that Harry cared. "Snape of course, hadn't you been listening to me?" she added waspishly.

"No." Harry shrugged as he bit into his omelet, "I have better things to do with my time." Before Granger could complain Harry stirred her back to the conversation.

"So, Master Snape was staring at me?" He asked and Hermione shot him a look. "**Master **Snape, Harry? You really shouldn't call him that, Harry; he might punish you (_I wish_). And yeah, Harry, he really was staring at you, frowning like usual but there seemed to be something else in that look, Harry, like he was trying to figure something out….Anyway, I was wondering if you know what will we study on Lupin's class today because I was thinking….." Harry ignored her right after.

_So, Severus was thinking about me, huh? I wonder what that means….oh hell, who cares? As long as I'm on his mind I'm happy…well if he only thinks of me with sexual thoughts, otherwise I will care…._

The bell signaling the start of classes rang, and Harry sighed as he got up for the first class of the day; muggle studies.

As they were going to study something new today, they were meeting in The Primary Class for Remus to tell them what the class was and where.

Sitting at one of the desks in the back, Harry cursed his bad luck yet again.

"Alright class," Remus called. He was leaning against his desk, in a somewhat sprawl way and was wearing deep gold dark-brown robes that exenterated his eyes.

He was also smiling in a tired but satisfied way that gave Harry and several others no problem in guessing that someone got lucky last night…and this morning.

With silence surrounding the class, Remus pulled out an old top hat filled with small paper notes.

"As I am always up for the whole inter house relationship scheme," He shot a wild grin at the class, "I have managed to come up with this amazingly thought of idea, which frankly amazed even me of its sheer genius. (_He's spending to much time with Sirius_.) This idea will defiantly help with the legendary inter house animosity."

Like Harry suspected, and secretly laughed about, the whole class started pelting Remus with questions and outraged cries.

"Silence!" Remus growled, not even needing to shout, not that Harry ever heard him doing such a thing- The man was too happy. Before continuing, "Now, one by one in an orderly fashion."

All arms immediately rose.

"Yes Mr. Nott?" Remus started and the boy glared "Why on earth would we want to bond with the other houses?!" At this over half of the class dropped their hands.

Remus gave the boy an apprising look "Should I be surprised or relieved that a Slytherin didn't figure out my simple reasoning behind this?"

The boy seemed outraged but couldn't complain as Remus continued "There are all sorts of things other people, especially those from rival houses, could teach you-"

"-Like what?" The boy spat and Remus answered a smirk "There are some things that are best left unsaid and discovered alone." He spoke mysteriously and Harry frowned wondering if he was right in his thinking. (a/n: if you can guess what DikiCat's dirty mind thought off before you read ahead, you will get a cookie or if you're allergic then a gold star)

"But for now, all you need to know and care about is that I make the rules in these classes, and you just follow them." That sentence didn't bring comfort to anyone.

"So" Remus clapped his hands, "what we will be studying today, and don't worry it's Dumbledore/ministry approved material, is…" He paused in a dramatic fashion "…the preparation for the future generation!!"

Pause.

Silence.

"What? I thought it was cute!" Remus said enthusiastically, still grinning evilly.

"What the hell does that mean?" one Ravenclaw burst out and Remus turned around making most of the class shiver in trepidation as he rubbed his hands in glee and laughed evilly under his breath.(_defiantly spending too much time with Sirius_)

Quickly turning around, Remus cried out (the class jumping in shock and surprise, both at the gesture and the explanation) "It means…………. BABY PROJECT!!"

Pause.

Chaos.

"Silence!" the man grinned as he surveyed his class "I wasn't done."

Silence.

"That's more like it…now where was I? Oh yeah, baby project. The really good part/thing with it will be…you get to pick out your partners." The last announcement brought everyone into a stopper, what was the catch?

Remus cackled a bit more (_maybe it was Snape he was spending to much time with?_) before grinning "You will each pick up a name from this hat and the one you will choose will be your partner, isn't it great?"

Harry broke the shocked silence by bursting in laughter.

"How in hell did you convince Dumbledore to let you teach this? And if what I'm thinking is correct, and it usually is, do we get to have a sex-ed class as well?"

Everyone in class burst out laughing but Remus was still smirking "I wouldn't laugh if I were you, and believe me Harry, it was quite easy to convince Dumbledore to arrange this…" with that he plucked out the white sheet covering one of the desks near him, that everyone wondered what was under reveling….

Dolls.

Baby dolls.

Ugly, partly bold, diaper wearing baby dolls.

The class wasn't amused.

"Your job will be to raise them during the year, and you will get marks on it" it was said with another evil laugh and a small bounce.

"Now who wants to find out their partner first?"

Not surprising no one volunteered.

"Alright I will pick…Hannah Abbot, step up please." The young Hufflepuff girl stepped forward to Remus.

"Take out two papers from the hat." The girl did just that "now put both of your hands behind your back and scramble the notes between your hands" the girl shrugged and did just that, Remus nodded "now I will pick one of your hands and the one I will choose will be your partner. Your name, should it still be in the hat will disappear and you will pick a baby with your partner and a form to fill out" he gestured to the pile of forms on his desk.

Hannah nodded in understanding and Remus started pointing his finger left and right muttering under his breath "…einy mini miney mo…" before settling on the left.

Hannah opened it and read out loud "Michael Corner" she breathed out, everyone knew she had a bit of a crush on him.

Said boy stood from his desk and walked over to Hannah, smiling at her flirtatiously before they went of to pick a baby and fill a form.

"Now wait just a moment Hannah" Remus called and the two stopped in their choosing of a baby "can you give me the other note?" Hannah blushed and gave Remus the other note.

Remus unfolded the note and read the name "Sally-Ann perks" the girl stepped forward and Remus gave her a grin "this will go the same way as with Hannah and the other note will be who's next" the girl nodded and took two notes…

And so it went. Some students were happy with their picks and other not.

And finally it was Harry's turn. (His name was read by Remus who took it from Neville who got Padma Patil).

Harry walked over to Remus feeling nervous, but luckily not too much as both Ron and Hermione were being partnered to someone else (_serves them right, maybe it will break them up_) before pulling out two notes.

Remus done with his pick gestured Harry to open the right and Harry did so.

"Harry Potter" he read out and some students giggled, Harry turned to Remus.

"I was wondering when it will come to one reading his own name" he muttered before smiling at Harry "the other note will be your partner and I will choose someone next"

Nodding, Harry unfolded the other partner and grinned evilly when he read it "Draco Malfoy"

The slytherin prince groaned, undoubtedly hoping for Blaise to pick him.

Harry gave him a mocking bow and held out his arm to him "Mrs. Malfoy?"

Draco gave an undignified squeak as most of the class snickered loudly "I am not the woman in this relationship, potter!"

Harry wasn't deterred "Oh, so you want me to be it? Feeling a bit dominating, Draco?" the other teen flushed "No!" he cried in shock and Harry snickered "oh, so you are a bottom then?"

This time it was blown out laughter that echoed in the class "Potter!" Draco yelled and Harry nodded "sorry" he grinned "want to pick a baby?" Draco stared at him suspiciously before nodding.

Staring at the babies, Harry absently heard Remus calling Goyel up, he pitied anyone who would get him or Crabbe.

"They look disgusting" Draco commented and Harry giggled, pointing at one he spoke "this one looks kinda normal"

The baby had deep black eyes and a tuft of dirty blond hair lay on his head.

"I suppose" Draco drawled and grabbed the baby by the arm, Harry taking a form from Remus' desk.

They took a seat at one of the front tables before they looked at the form.

**Baby Adoption Form – it will be just like you gave birth to him yourself!**

Draco: "Yuck."

**(Sponsored by the ministry of magic.)**

Harry: "Well, Duh. Fudge **is** that stupid."

Baby's name:

Draco: "Why should I want to name **that**?! It's a **doll**."

Harry: "You have no imaginative skills."

Gender:

Draco: "I want a girl."

Harry: "I want a boy."

Draco: "Can't the thing be both?"

Harry: "Wouldn't that make it transsexual?"

Date of birth:

Harry: "Wouldn't it be today? Why even bother writing it here?"

Draco: shrug.

Description:

Draco: "Ugly, disgusting and smelly. How old is this thing anyway?"

Harry: "Plastic. Old and overly used."

Weight:

Draco: "Am I supposed to touch it? Like hell! And what does it matter, anyway? It's **plastic**."

Place of birth:

Draco: "Why should I give a damm? Up my ass, for all I care!"

Harry: "I think it means from where he came from, not how. Let's make something up."

Draco: "Oh!"

Parents name: father mother

Draco: "Father Draco Malfoy, the mother will be you, Potter."

Harry: "Why am **I** the mother?"

Draco: "We already agreed on it."

Harry: "Oh right, you're the bottom in denial!"

Draco: "Potter!"

Age: father mother

Harry: "Why do they care? It doesn't make a difference. It's not like we're a hundred and fifty or something."

Draco (shuddering): "Oh **hell** no, I will NOT become a wrinkly old dingbat."

Job: father mother

Draco: "We're both stinking' rich, we don't need to work."

Harry and Draco looked at one another before sighing. "I guess we'll have to fill it for real now."

Harry nodded and they came up with this:

**Baby's name: **

"Hmmm… let's see. What's its gender?" Draco asked.

"Let's make her a girl, just for kicks."

Draco shrugged. "Okay, then…" He thought for a moment.

"Lyra. Lyra Malfoy."

Harry looked at him incredulously. "Lyra? What kind of name is that? And what is this 'Malfoy' business? She's mine too, you know."

Draco sniffed. "It's an ancient family tradition to call first new born babies after star constellations."

Harry sighed. "Fine. But let's give her a normal second name, okay? Like… Serpens, okay? And add Potter in the end. And for god's sake, let's make her look a little better, huh? What a mess…"

"And you call that a normal name? You do realize that's also a constellation as well, right? And... Doesn't that mean snake?"

Harry nodded. "What's your point?" He said, a bit defensibly.

Draco shrugged again and wrote:

**Baby's name: **Lyra Serpens Malfoy-Potter.

"Damn, that's a mouthful," Said Draco.

Harry gave a small chuckle. "Well, its better then the whole Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore thing. HOW can he remember all of them?"

Draco shook his head. "No idea."

They moved on.

**Gender: **Female

"Like we said." Harry reminded him.

Draco nodded.

**Date of birth:**

Harry blinked.

"Um… today? We got her today…"

Draco shrugged. "Let's make it yesterday. I want her to be unique, just like her name."

The other boy grinned. "Feeling a bit sentimental, Draco?" But nonetheless he wrote it down.

**Description: **

"I want to make her more beautiful!" Draco exclaimed. Harry shot him a strange look.

"I thought you said it was just a doll?"

Draco gave him a you-are-an-idiot look (_probably copied it from his dear godfather_) "if the doll's going to be a Malfoy then it must also have the looks of a Malfoy."

"You mean be all pale and have bleached hair?"

"Malfoy's don't have bleached hair! It is a whiter shade of blonde."

"Ah huh, sure…I want her to have more of my appearances; blacker hair"

Draco snorted "Who would want to have that bird nest on their head? Besides you, of course. The girl has to be blonde."

"Black."

"Blonde."

"Black."

"Blonde!"

"Black!"

"I said blonde, Potter, and that's final!"

"Up yours Malfoy, just because you're the father in this relationship and I'm the mother, doesn't mean that whatever you say goes."

"No, you're right…but she will still be blonde!"

"GUYS!" Both broke up their fight to see that Pansy and Blaise were standing near them, a dark red haired baby being held in Blaise's arms.

"What?" Draco glared and Pansy rolled her eyes. "Look at your baby."

They frowned and did just that. It looked the same.

"What about it?" Harry asked puzzled.

Blaise gave him a smile "Say the hair color again."

Frowning, Harry did just that, "Black." and gasped when he saw that the baby's hair slowly turned a deep sky black.

"Blond." Draco breathed out and the color switched yet again.

Both Harry and Draco turned to one another before grinning in unison "Cool!"

"I thought you'd like It." a quiet voice murmured and the quartet turned to see Remus leaning against their desk "it took forever charming the babies to change like this, but…it worked. I was wondering who will realize it first"

Pansy nodded "I thought I will get stuck with a small ugly monster so I guess I should say thanks" she paused and Blaise stared at her "aren't you going to say it, then?"

Pansy rolled her eyes again "I said should SO it doesn't mean that I would"

Remus gave a small laugh as he stood up "charming young lady you grow up into" he said before he left to see the other couples.

"So what will the baby look like?" Harry spoke uncertain, Draco turned thoughtful "blond with black strips in her hair, I saw several muggles like that and it looked okay except that they had purple at the tips of the black stripes-"

"-we could do that" Harry interfered and Draco nodded "the baby will have your eyes as they are a gorgeous color-"

"Did you just say I had beautiful eyes? Wonder what Blaise will say?"

"Blaise won't give a damn about it unless you are fucking him and then I will kill you" a voice commented and they turned again to Draco's best friends who apparently decided they wanted to sit at the table near them. Blaise was the one that spoke.

Draco snorted "like I would want to sleep with potter"

Harry raised an eyebrow "you sure looked like it yesterday, remember? I had you all hard and leaking at my very hand"

Draco flushed as Harry snickered.

"So?"

"So what?"

"It is going to look like we said?"

"I guess, write it down potter" said boy rolled his as he jotted it down adding milky white tone to her skin.

Blaise who read it from above them snorted when he read the name "Lyra Serpens Malfoy-Potter? What the fuck?"

Draco glared "it is a really good name Blaise"

"Ah huh" said teen commented with a roll of the eyes "why? What did you choose for yours?"

Pansy grinned as she dropped the baby on the desk, ignoring the subsequent cries, and handed their form to him, the only thing that was filled was the name: Adam Zabini and gender: boy.

"Adam?" Draco spoke with a sneer "what kind of a name is that?"

"It's called a normal name, something that a Malfoy or a Black wouldn't know about" pansy sniffed arrogantly.

"Whatever. Let's write the rest down"

**Weight: **

Harry frowned "how are we supposed to weigh it, I can't see no scales, and there isn't potions today so I won't have any in the first place" he sighed dejectedly.

Draco sneered at him "still thinking like a muggle, potter? We have wands, all we would need is the proper charm for it" he demonstrated it by casting it on the baby; reveling it to weigh around 4 stones. They wrote it down.

**Place of birth: **

Harry grinned. "I seem to remember you saying something about… up your ass?"

Draco shrugged. "Make it Toronto, Canada. That way it's a deported baby, but with style."

Harry stared at him in shock.

"What?"

"Nothing." He murmured as he hastily wrote it down, wondering what the hell goes on in Draco Malfoy's mind most of the time.

They also quickly wrote down their names and ages in the parents section thingy before stopping on **Job**.

"What are we going to work in?"

Draco shrugged and Blaise snickered.

"What?"

Said boy grinned. "Well, no offence meant but…I really can't see you doing anything for a living."

Harry burst out laughing. "So true, Draco could be a house wife."

The blond glared. "I am the father Potter; **you** could be a house wife."

Harry shrugged. "Like it matters. You said it yourself, we're rich. We'll just make the house elves do it." He frowned when he saw all three Slytherins staring at him.

"What?"

"That was almost slytherin thinking, Potter,"

Harry just grinned. "The hat had its reasons." He spoke cryptically.

"Alright, class," Remus called out and the class turned to him, "as everyone now has their babies; please pass me your forms…thank you. Now you each will have to support your baby, and you will do so by buying every baby product from the staff, meaning you need diapers, formula toys, and the likes. You'll buy all you need from the teachers. You will each get 1000 galleons to spend on your kids, so you will be on even grounds. And no the money isn't **real**" he paused as he took a breath "now what's more? Oh yeah, every weekend you will get an account of your expanses and if any one of you will want to earn more money and you will want unless you want to starve the baby and you wouldn't want it, you could ask for work from one of the teachers, and you get to work in Hogsmeade and get coupons for sweets or whatever you like. Teachers will also baby-sit, if it suits them."

"What's more there will be tracking spells on the babies so that none of you will even try charm the kid, such an a act will immediately cause the baby to be sent to me, and you will fail."

"The bonus for a perfect grade will be two tickets to the au-de-la amour…" he broke of from the mutters of everyone "as well as the couple will be excused from the end-of-the-year muggle studies exam"

More mutters and Harry turned to Draco with a determent glare "We **have** to win this." Draco nodded; the au-de-la amour was **the** top of the top in the restaurants, with only the cream-the-la-cream of clients.

Harry sighed as he walked through the halls of Hogwarts at night, Draco was in for the first night of caring for Lyra and Harry was incredibly glad of that.

Jonathan had called him by owl to ask if he could do some shoots today, and Harry had replayed in the affirmative. Of course, that was before he knew he won't have as much of a personal life but as he promised…..

He stalked the halls before he reached the great doors, _dammit why did they have to be closed now? I will be late_…. Harry quickly retracted his steps and went to the statue of the one eyes witch, where there was a secret entrance to the cellar of the honey ducks basement; he paused right before he opened it and almost hit himself for his stupidity.

Ron's words from third year had slipped in his mind '….Oh come on, the managers would have heard a break in to their store; they live right above it…'

_How could I have forgotten that? Must I be so stupid? If I take this then I would have to break their door in order to exit their closed shop…stupid idiotic fuck….No wonder Severus doesn't like you, no brains in that head of yours…_

Harry sighed before tensing when he heard something moving in the hallway...just a ghost. He sighed in relief before he went to the seventh floor.

_Why didn't I think of it before? The room of requirements is bound to have some way out of this place…without anyone seeing him of course._

Walking back and forth in the seventh floor corridor, Harry smiled when a door showed up.

Opening it, Harry frowned when he saw several doors marked with numbers on them; _probably so that I'll know which why is where._

Opening one of the doors, Harry gaped in shock when he saw a door leading to what he recognized as Diagon ally, near gringotts bank.

Noting that door, Harry opened another one, and grinned when he saw that the store near it was the photography store he heard Colin Creevey talking about.

Harry walked through that door and smirked when he realized he was in the alleyway between the photograph shop and….

**chock**

**A** sex shop.

Slowly, a smirk entered his face. _Well, well, well, now I can get me those supplies I wanted, who knew? Guess the room of requirements really does know what you want…_

He turned to look at the doorway and noticed that it was hidden carefully in the empty wall at the very back of the ally, probably no one would have noticed it, unless they knew of it, and probably if they did, it would be hard to look for it.

He sighed as he pulled his hood up, he wasn't dressed as Lilo yet and he was too recognizable as Harry Potter, something that he didn't want. One of the reasons, he didn't take the door leading to Diagon ally.

He then apparated to his 'apparition point' at the shooting spot, which actually was a bathroom stall with an 'out of order' sign on the door.

"Hey Harry," said Jonathan from his seat near the camera spot. "Ready for the first final shoot of the movie? It came out sooo hot!" he eyed Harry up and down. "Why aren't you dressed for the part?"

Harry glared at him. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to sneak out of a school like Hogwarts?!"

Jonathan winched. "Yeah… magic locks and stuff. Sorry." He whispered as to not alarm the others.

"Okay. Let me just get dressed and I'll be out."

Twenty minutes later everything was set and they started the shoot. Today they happened to be shooting at a club, with lots and lots of sexy young men. Harry (or Lilo,) had to walk out of the place, with his biggest 'cat that got the cream' smile and say "I REALLY should **come** here more often!" among other scenes, like dancing and grinding to the music.

It soon ended though and Harry sighed as he walked over to Jonathan and sat on his star chair (a/n: still so very cool, right?).

Said director threw him a towel which Harry used to wipe the cum and sweat from his chest, he gave a tired grin to his friend "You know, I will never get tired of having a cock up my ass."

Jonathan burst out laughing, "One would think." he grinned mockingly and Harry laughed. "Probably."

"So how is the whole trying to get your teacher to fuck you scheme going on?"

Harry smiled as he remembered when Jonathan first came to hear of it, his first day of shoots.

"Oh, it's going quite well, and it's got a different name now."

"Oh?"

"Yes, it's called 'seducing-Severus-Snape-so-he-could-fuck-me-so-hard' scheme."

"Interesting name, took you long to think of it, did it?"

Laughing, Harry admitted that no, it didn't take long.

"But you should see his face when my plans go my way; he gets that adorable shade of red on his cheeks which I love to see on him, so delectable."

Jonathan rolled his eyes "I could imagine. What did you do?"

Harry gave a smirk "Oh, you know…."

Harry sighed as he sneaked back to Hogwarts. Like he thought, it took some time for him to find the doorway, it being dark and the fact that it was in the middle of the freaking night (he only left the studio at 3 am).

But once Harry found the door, he immediately went to his room, trying to not make any noise before falling on his bed and sleeping the rest of the night, not that it was much.

When he woke up, curtsy of Ron (he paid him back by cursing a bucket of ice cold water on him for revenge; Harry worded his room **heavily** after that. That's NEVER going to happen again) Harry walked to the great hall for food, in a better mood then yesterday, even if he was still dead tired from his nightly ordeal.

The reason for his happiness was potion's class, and Harry couldn't wait, sure it was after two hours of history fallowed by three hours of transfiguration but all in all the fact that there was potions class was comforting.

Well, to him at least.

He was about to sit and eat breakfast when he was interrupted by someone calling him. "Potter!"

Turning, Harry saw that it was Draco, with Blaise and pansy following.

The latter was caring the baby, while hitting the child upside the head on every single chance…for some reason it reminded Harry of a drummer in a parade.

The surrounding Gryffindors were sending the girl shocked and scandalized looks to which she ignored, apparently neither her nor Blaise were trying very hard to win the prize offered by Remus. And it seemed to have gotten a kick out of it.

"Look," she said to Harry, "the baby's charms are all screwed up. Every second hit it stops crying, and every third it makes baby noises at you." She demonstrated by hitting the metallically crying baby over the head again and the doll stopped whiling at once. Then she hit it again and the baby cooed and gurgled, letting out little 'Ga Ga Gu Gu' noises.

Draco smirked. "Isn't that useful? Let's try that." And before Harry could stop him he gave a sizable whack to their baby's head which began crying immediately. Then he waked it again, and the baby cried even louder.

"Draco!" Blaise shouted at him. "Will you shut that stupid plastic shit-maker **up** already?! It's giving me a headache."

"I'm trying, I'm trying! But it won't **shut up**!" Draco cried, hitting it some more in desperation.

"Oh, look what you've done. Malfoy, give me that." Harry took the baby into his arms and rocked it back and forth, rubbing its abused head while shushing it to sleep. Finally, the noise stopped and the doll was 'asleep'.

The others stared at him.

"What? So I happen to be good with plastic toys. Sue me."

"I think its silicon."

Harry sent him a smirk. "I'm good with those types of toys too. Any toy, really."

Ginny, who was sitting next to Harry, immediately burst out laughing as she figured out the underlined words.

"Whatever Potter." Malfoy said, "Anyway, it's your turn for the kid."

Harry groaned. He was **so** tired and he didn't want to take care of the metallic-plastic baby thingy.

_Well it was my own fault for staying out all night…._

He nodded reluctantly, then sat and got the baby to eat. Draco smirked before he pushed Ron, who sat next to Harry (for some reason), from the table and on to the floor.

"Hey!" Weasley cried out, and Draco smirked again as he sat in the newly vacated seat, Pansy and Blaise soon followed his lead and pushed Granger off as well (she took the seat of two people) before they sat down.

"Harry, make them stop, look at how they are treating us, Harry!" Granger yelled at the boy who merely rolled his eyes.

"Did you say something?"

Ginny got a fit of giggles as she saw the red colors the two traitors supported.

"Listen mate, this isn't right what you are doing, we're your friends and you should look after your friends, and help them!"

Ron should have stopped speaking the minute he saw the smirk Harry had, but as an insufferable Weasley, he never learned how to quit and be quite.

"Oh, really?" Harry took a second to grab his baby and pulled her diaper off. Throwing it to Ron, who immediately caught it, he spoke again. "Well, take care of that for me, will you, mate?"

Ron froze for a second before he realized what just happened and took a look at his still grasping hands.

"Gross!" He exclaimed when he saw the brown stains on them, before he ran of the hall, cursing Harry all the way.

"How could you, Potter?!" Granger shrieked at him, but Harry merely stared at the girl coolly, "It was easy; want me to show you again?"

The angry girl stormed off, leaving an amused party behind.

"You know Potter," Draco commented as he took a bite from his food, "you could be quite the slytherin when you want to be."

"From you Draco, that's a big complement."

Having to study and take care of a baby in between classes wasn't as easy as you might think especially if you only had about three and a half hours of sleep.

Luckily, he now had two straight hours of History of Magic, so he managed to get a quick snooze around professor-so-boring-he's-dead-him-self's droning continues voice and bookworm's constant hissing for him to pay attention from two seats away.

At least the doll looked interested- staring at the ghost with those big green eyes as though he was a television show for toddlers- she didn't make the actual noise till the bell rang two hours later.

"WWWHHHHAAAAA!!"

The whole hall (corridor) filled with the sounds of crying as the students went out for recess.

"Hey ho, what is it, little Lyra? Are you hungry again? Do you need a new nappy? Well, I know you weren't bored, at least. Do you like history? Maybe you could explain it to me next time. I'm sure you wouldn't be as sleep-inducing as professor ghost-face back there, huh?"

The baby just gave him a teary smile as Harry cooed at her and rocked her in his arms, checking the diaper for the even more disgusting substitute for baby poo. No shit there. So he took out a bottle of formula from the baby-bag and tried to feed her but she squirmed her mouth away from the sucker.

"No diaper mess, not hungry... That must mean you want to play with me! Let's go outside then, shall we? Then maybe I can sit down or something…"

The day outside was nice and warm, partly cloudy with just a little bit of wind. Harry sat little Lyra on the grass under one of the trees near the lake and lied down himself, taking out one of the baby toys Draco got for her by trade.

Lyra squealed with delight and put the thing in her mouth. Then, probably deciding it tasted to her liking, took it out and started playing with it.

If it weren't for the noises coming from the toy (it made cute little animal noises when you shake it one way or another) Harry would have fallen asleep by now. But he knew that Draco would skin him alive if something happen to their muggle studies project, so he reluctantly kept his (slightly sleepy) guard.

Unfortunately, while he was saved from Malfoy nagging him about taking care of the doll, he wasn't saved from being lectured by a very angry Hermione, who like the weasel had not learned her lesson about staying away from him.

Harry winced when she started another loud rant. By now she had gathered a crowd around them.

_How in the world did she find me…? _Harry wondered ever since he saw her coming to his not-so hidden spot, under the trees near the lake.

"…And it is so unlike you, which is what you've been doing all summer, probably, because you never think, do you? NO! Famous Potter never thinks, but simply acts as he doesn't care about rules or anything-"

Harry glared as he saw Lyra starting to cry due to the volume of Hermione's voice. "Shut up." He growled and was surprised when the girl actually did shut up. _No, too late_. "WHAT!! You did **not** just tell me to shut up-!"

She would have probably continued if it weren't for Harry's growling again. "I said **shut up**! You may not care about this or anything at all, but Lyra is trying to relax and you're ruining it!"

Granger scowled before her eyes widen in malice. "So you want to become a parent, Potter? Do you really think that someone like you will ever have a family?"

Harry paled as he heard the gasps from the watching crowd. "And what's that supposed to mean, Granger?" He spoke through clenched teeth, trying to fight his raw magic from killing the damn bitch.

_Not that it would have been a loss._

Granger smirked even though her eyes were showing a bit of fear; undoubtedly she felt his magic sparkling against her own.

"I** mean **that no one could ever love a freak like **you** Potter; a parentless wanna-be dark lord, an attention seeking brat and a cold murderer."

Harry saw red as he started forward.

Luckily (for her) he was held by two seventh year Ravenclaws who had the common sense to break this fight off.

Hermione sent him another smirk as she left the court yard, happy in her victory.

When Harry relaxed, he signaled that he could be let go now and grabbed Lyra before calming her down. a second later he was seen heading to the castle, the owlery in precise, and all who knew him, shivered when he realized what he planned to do.

After all, the Slytherin's most important rule wasn't just theirs and they were all glad that right at that moment, they weren't Hermione Jean Granger.

Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table not noticing the smirk that was sent her way. She was wearing a pair of blue pants and a dark blue blouse to go with it, (they were allowed to walk in muggle clothing during lunch, dinner and after classes).

She was halfway through her food when she finally noticed the silence that came all over the hall, turning to her boyfriend who was staring at her in shock, she frowned.

"What is it Ronald?" she asked and with that the silence burst as everyone including said boyfriend burst out in hysterical laughter.

"What!?" Hermione tried again and unsuccessfully Seamus tried to tell her, "Well…hehe…you…ha-ha…have…." He broke off in laughter and tears of mirth trailed his cheeks.

Dean, who was sitting nearby, was more successful in telling Hermione what happened. Not by words as he was in the same state as his best friend but rather by conjuring a mirror.

Hermione took one look in the mirror before screaming her head off.

There were patches of shiny round bald spots on her head, with small hissing techno-colored snakes adorning them. A bit like medusa, only the snakes did not shoot out like hairs, but staid pot. Her nose, grown to the size of a small bird's beak, had lots of hairy moles on it and hairy nostrils making her look like the wicked witch of the west. Her face, which didn't escape her notice either, was covered with red angry zits; her eyes were huge and bloodshot; her ears had grown to something that reminded her of dumbo, pink and flapping; her hands were purple and full of calluses, and worst of all: She had a tail- A long, furry, _**cat-like**_ tail.

Crying in embarrassment and shocked anger, Hermione tried to get up from her seat. Tried, because she had not noticed that the chair she was sitting on was covered in strong, persistent glue. By trying harder to raise herself and leave, Granger tore her pants and part of her blouse.

Blushing at how she looked, both partly-naked and ugly (not a good combination) she once again tried to leave the hall. She didn't manage to take one step before she was stopped once again.

A bucket which was charmed invisible had hung above her, and the minute she stood up from her seat it spilled thick paint all over her, turning her into a lovely electric blue color, and as if to add insult to injury, a small bunch of purple features came down from above (undoubtedly charmed to be unseen as well) and fell on her, getting stuck on the drying paint like to tar.

By now everyone in the hall was in hysterics and Granger screamed in desperation and horror as she ran to the doors of the great hall, which were surprisingly closed and locked.

The minute her hands touched the handles, a mirror appeared in front of her and thundered in a rumbling voice that everyone could hear:

_**Mirror, oh mirror, up on the wall, who's the horrible monster in this hall?**_

"STOP IT!!" Hermione shrieked as she tried to open the doors but every time her hand touched them, more mirrors appeared and screamed the same sentence while showing Hermione how she looked.

"Monster, monster, MONSTER, MONSTER, MONSTER, **MONSTER**!!..."

"ENOUGH!!" a deep voice spoke and everything stilled as the magic vanished.

Dumbledore got down from his table and walked over to Hermione. "Ms. Granger, what is the meaning of this?"

Sobbing Hermione glared at him "What do you think this is about?? I am being pranked by…by…" she glared even more as she turned to the Gryffindor table. "By Potter who I am going to kill!!"

She started forward but Dumbledore caught her. "Do you have any proof that it was Harry who did this?"

Furiously, granger spoke "Proof? I don't need any proof, I know it was him, it couldn't have been anyone else!"

The headmaster turned to stare at the boy-who-lived. "Harry, did you prank Ms. Granger?"

Said boy turned such an innocent expression to the man that all who had watched the argument that he had with Granger (or heard about it, meaning all) started to doubt themselves that he was in fact guilty.

"Me?" Weird how one little word could sound so…so shocked. "Why would I think of pranking her? She's my best friend in the world!"

Dumbledore nodded. "See Ms. Granger? It wasn't Harry who pranked you but someone else." Before the shocked and angry girl could comment, the headmaster spoke again. "Now, why don't you run to the infirmary to treat your…condition?"

"Ahhh!!" Hermione cried as she stalked to the doors and all could hear her muttering all the way.

Turning back around, Dumbledore gave a small smile. "Now why don't you all finish your food and get to class, or you'll be late."

With that he himself left the hall, which broke the charm and everyone burst out laughing again.

At the Gryffindor table, a small dark haired boy sat smirking at not only his handiwork but rather at the fact that he managed to escape detention.

_So yeah, maybe I used second grade, immature pranks (wonder if pranks can be mature??) but it was sooo worth it, way to go, Potter!_

He congratulated himself before he left the hall for his favorite class, Potions.

"Potter, are you even paying attention to me?" Snape growled and Harry bit back the moan he sooo wanted to let out at the sound, _was this how he would sound like in bed_?

"Of course, master Snape," Harry answered, pining him with a lusty stare, "I'm always paying attention to **you**." _Your mouth, your hands, those eyes and body, your cock_… He added in his mind.

"Yes, well…" Snape stuttered for a second, and then, "Ten points from Gryffindor! I told you not to call me that! Now start brewing!" He turned around abruptly back to his desk.

_Probably to hide that beautiful blush from me, _Harry thought, _all reddish and cute… _

About an hour and half past in total silence, the colored fumes rising in hushed whispers from the different cauldrons around the room, interrupted only by the tapping sound of chopping or the tingle of ingredient vials touching, no one making a peep.

_**BOOM**_

"What the- Granger! What is the meaning of this?"

"I-I don't know sir! I did everything right, exactly like the book said-"

"Obviously not, Granger, otherwise you wouldn't be covered in waste! Now clean that pathetic excuse for a potion off of you!"

"But I- I don't understand, I-"

The bell rang outside the dungeon door.

"Ten points from Gryffindor and a parchment and a half on what you did wrong, to be handed in tomorrow! Indeed, it seems that little miss know-it-all isn't all that knowing after all…"

Hermione Jean Granger, for the first time in her life, was left shocked, hurt, and confused in the quickly empting potions classroom, covered in stinking sloppy gunk and with a zero mark.

-#\/\/\/\/\/\/-#&-#-! 14! -#\/\/\/\/\/-#-#/\\/-#

Indeed, it seemed like no matter what lesson, no matter what task, no matter what Granger-book-worm did, she failed, and spectacularly. And not only that, even at the recesses, it seemed like nothing went her way. She stumbled along, books dropping onto the floor as she fell over or bumped into someone occasionally, spluttering apologies.

By the time it was time for Muggle Studies she was exhausted, annoyed, dirty and very confused. Why was this happening to her? Ron, too scared to catch what he now called the 'Curse of the Brainy', left her alone for most of the day. Ran away and hid, more like, after he saw her coming his way after NEWT level Transfiguration, red faced, with huge fangs coming out of her mouth, two red horns on her head, and a pig snout for a nose. It took Madam Pomfrey almost an hour to get it back to normal, and when she did, there was still a faint remainder of red on her face, which Pomfrey said will eventually fade.

Granger glared as she sat on her chair in the Main Classroom, which immediately broke and she fell to the floor in pain. As everyone burst out laughing at her misfortune, Hermione caught the smirk from one boy-who-lived and saw red.

"POTTER!! It was you, wasn't it? You were the one that caused all of this? You little-!!" as she pulled her wand on the boy to curs him, she was suddenly thrown off her feet by a disarming spell.

"Wha-??" She gasped as she stood up from the floor. Turning she saw Remus Lupin with his wand out, his face set in a determent expression. Sirius was at his feet, hackles raised and growling at her.

"You will **never** raise a wand against my **godson**." The man growled, his amber eyes flashing as he bared his teeth, "15 pointes from Gryffindor and a week's detention. And if I'll catch you doing that one more time you will really be sorry, is that understood?"

The girl nodded hurriedly as she took another seat in the back, but after it broke as well, she decided, grumpily, to stand.

"Now…" Remus started lowering his wand and stroking Sirius' head so that he would calm himself. "We are going to-" was all he managed to say before he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in." He called out and the class held their breaths as they saw professor Snape entering the room.

"Ah, Severus, glad you could make it." Remus smiled at the dark haired man who scowled and muttered something that sounded like '…As if I had a choice…'

Coughing, Remus turned back to the class. "Now. As I began to say before, as today is Thursday, you all have PE….Physical Education. Sports class." He added when he saw that only muggle-informed children nodded to his words.

Harry raised his hand to the air, and Remus nodded. "Are we going to learn swimming today?"

Remus shook his head, bemused. "No Harry-" he didn't get far as the boy interrupted him again. "Awww, sucks. I really wanted to see Master Snape in a bathing suit." he sent said man a small flirtiest smile, which simply enraged him.

"20 points from Gryffindor, Potter! How many times did I tell you not to call me that? Do I really have to punish you even more so that it would get into your thick head?" Snape growled but Harry wasn't fazed in the slightest.

"But Master Snape, I already told you I wouldn't mind it if you wanted to bend me over your knees and spank me!"

Remus had to masquerade his laughter into coughs, so that Snape wouldn't kill him as well.

The students who didn't think too much of Harry's words, except one or three, laughed at what they thought was an attempt from golden boy Harry to annoy the evil Slytherin Snape (excepting the Slytherins).

Harry's smirk widen as he saw the look on Snape's face_. Oh, what I wouldn't give for him to actually do it…_

The man looked livid even with the small tinge on his cheeks and Harry really wanted to lick it and see what it would taste like. _Probably sweet and salty…_

"Yes, well Harry, don't we all." How Remus managed saying those words with a straight face, even though, he looked like he was fighting the urge to laugh, Harry didn't know.

Snape growled again, sounding eerily similar too Remus' werewolf's form, and would have interrupted again if said werewolf wouldn't have continued.

"We are going to do some exercising skills today, and professor Snape is here to help me chaperone you all."

Hermione's hand rose to the air but Remus pretended not to see it, much to the amusement of one Gryffindor and four particular Slytherins.

"We all would be going down to the grounds, the quiddich pitch in fact, that's where all our PE classes would be located. So hurry along-" he was cut off by Hermione who was to angry to wait as Remus continued to ignore her.

"But sir, how is it possible for too professors to teach such exercises to girls, isn't it wrong?" she practically glowed with her smart question.

Remus wasn't pleased.

"That's another day of detention, Granger, for interrupting me." When it looked like the girl was going to argue Remus spoke again "And as for your question…you would have known the answer to it if you have let me finish." Lupin added a glare to be more effective. Harry couldn't help but snicker.

"But you didn't say anything! You were going to tell us to go down to the pitch, not anything else!" The self-righteous bitch proclaimed.

Snape rolled his eyes as he shot the girl his God-You-Are-So-Stupid-And-Annoying glare that was reserved just for her.

"15 more points from Gryffindor, Granger. Learn to finally shut your mouth." Said girl glared and was rewarded by a deduction of five more points. "If you would resist this foolish attempt of cleverness, something you're obviously lacking, you would have heard Lupin saying to go down to the pitch where we would meet professor Hooch, who will be assisting with the girls."

"How would you know what he was going to say?" Ron burst out in a really pathetic attempt to help his girlfriend.

Snape smirked as he took a further ten points form the red and gold house. "You may not be aware of it Weasley, but there is such a thing called work-sheets. And to explain what your simple mind can't obviously understand, a work sheet means that we agreed on what would happen in this class beforehand then write in down." The man's smirk was wide by the time he finished. "Oh, and you have a detention with filch today at seven." he added.

Ron flushed in indignation. "Why?? I didn't do anything!"

"Except open your mouth and prove your stupidity," Severus shot back and Remus grinned at him.

"Alright then, class. To the pitch we go!" With that he turned to the door and left quickly followed by Sirius, Snape and the rest of class.

Harry grinned. He couldn't wait to start getting physical. (DikiCat: what the hell does it mean?? RockJunkie: what it always means. Sex!!) What a great day.

Tbc.

-#\/\/\/\/\/\/-#&-#-! DikiCat rules\/\/\/\/\/RockJunkie drools-#-#/\\/-#

A/n: and that's it, folks! The longest (we think) chapter to date!

What a month-and-a-half this has been. Really, really busy.

School, school trips, tests, papers to be handed in, rehearsals…

Note to all: DikiCat's scores on her mid term exams were – 100x3, 98, 85,78,88 so what do you think?? I really think it proves the whole 'I-can-study-and-get-good-grades-while-at-the-same-time-write'….you know who I'm talking about, all those writers who decide to stop fics just because they don't have much of a life….hah!! I showed you!!

Second note: RockJunkie would like a moment to say that she DOES. NOT. DROOL!!

DikiCat: Whatever, I know the truth and that's what counts….sticks tongue at the girl sitting near her.

RockJunkie: eat me darling (DikiCat: love to).

Further notes: Okay, now we're being serious here….both of us would like to ask you all (meaning readers): what the **fuck** you were all thinking?? Here we are, sitting quietly and all innocent like (don't laugh!), and we came up with the idea that if we'll publish the last chap early, you all might review more….but what did we notice?? You didn't even pass the minimum score, so after being **very **angry and all that, we decided that those who have reviewed will get it. So enjoy and R&R.

P.s: to those who are reading this (we never really know who really reads those A/ns), we came up with the idea that if, and that's a big if, you will review…me and RockJunkie -me love- will send you a P-R-I-V-A-T-E massage to your email, with a promo from our other stories (a big promo!!).

RockJunkie mutters: we have to stoop this low for reviews. Whores.

DikiCat smirks: if it gets it done, I wouldn't mind being on my knees.

See you next time, folks.


	15. Oops, must be a reflex

**Chapter 15: Oops, must be a reflex.**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1)

"That's just unbelievable!"

"Yeah, I know! I mean look at them, the way they just keep on **going**…"

"Disgusting. And icky."

"Yes, all sweaty and sticky, wonder how they manage?"

"I know! Think about it, all slippery and yet they still manage to get it on…"

"Though since they **are** two guys, they probably don't mind being together and getting dirty."

"Looks like they're really familiar with the motions."

"Who knew they could get on so well?"

"I think they must be doing this more then once a week."

"I still think that it's wrong to do this."

"Oh, come on…"

"No! Do you know how long it took me to find something to wear for this class? Do you really think I want to get all dirty and sweaty?"

"But we have to do those stretching exercises…. Or they said we'll get cramps!"

Harry turned away from the two bickering girls, rolling his eyes in disgust.

"Honestly, they are missing the whole point!" He muttered to no one in particular.

Someone, however, answered. "And what **is** the point?" Turning to Draco with an incredulous stare, the boy-who-lived muttered. "You're joking, Right?"

When the blond shook his head, Blaise, who stood nearby, sighed. "Really Draco, you mean you haven't noticed the show our two teachers are giving us?" He pointed to the two professors stationed near the stands.

Severus was lying on his back, one of his legs being held by Remus' hand near his head, as said man kept on stretching it all, 'to get all the muscles relaxed' he said when he caught the shocked looks he got.

Both looked, in Harry's eyes and several others, as if they were having sex in the middle of the grounds, what with the fact that Severus' head was thrown backwards and he was making all those sweet little groans and gasps, as Remus kept on pushing forward, head banded close to the dark haired mouth, as if he longed for a kiss.

"Oh" was the only words that Draco spoke, as his eyes went back to stare at the two panting professors.

Hooch, who was standing near Sirius in the sidelines, shook her head every once in a while as if to chase a fantasy…I meant a thought, away.

Sirius wasn't better off, if Harry had to say what his godfather was thinking about, just by the look in his eyes, than it would go something like this:

_'Oh, yes. God Remus looks so hot in this position, but Snape should get the hell away from him, (growl) yes away Snape, leave my moony alone….oh what a great moan Snape just gave, I bet he sounds like that in bed….so hot…no, wrong, Remus should only do that to me….damm I want to fuck them both….no! Just Remus…oh yes, fucking Remus…..'_

Chuckling to himself, Harry looked back at Remus and Severus, now positions reversed, pushing and huffing with the effort. Oh yeah. HOT.

"I really had no idea Severus could **stretch** that far". Draco murmured and the other three nodded.

"Forget Snape, listen to how Lupin moans. Think it's the wolf **in** him?" Blaise whispered.

Pansy gave a snort as she pushed her black hair away from her eyes. "It looks like he's going to have something in him all right."

Harry snickered before cursing when Remus gave such a loud gasp/moan.

"God, I think I can just cum in my pants from this."

Pansy smirked. "Think they'll let you join Potter?"

Harry sighed. "I wish".

There were several more stares at the professors who after a few moments broke off.

They couldn't understand why there were so many groans of disappointment.

"Alright class, you all saw what we did, and now it's your turn."

Before anyone could move, Harry sprinted to where Snape was standing.

"Please sir," he panted out, "could **you** stretch me?"

When the master just stared, Harry continued. "I really would like it, if it were you relaxing my muscles and stretching me open….please?"

Snape coughed as he tried to look at anything but the boy standing in front of him.

"I really think it would be better if you would ask one of your friends."

Harry frowned as he stared around, hoping for inspiration.

Finding it, he spoke again. "I don't trust anyone else with my body, sir. And, it is my first time sir, never been touched like this by anyone else. _Not a lie technically, _Besides you're a master, so you **must** have some experience touching other people this way, teaching the ropes to those younger then you." _Which I wouldn't mind if you add_… And just for affect he added "Please, I'll make it worth your while…I'll follow every order, every touch, I'll position myself anyway you want me; all fours, on my back, stomach, anywhere really…Please Master?" These last words turned into a whisper and Harry was rewarded by a small blush appearing on his love's face.

_God, he looks so good like this._

"Potter…" The man sighed and Harry hoped he wouldn't be turned down. "Call me master one more time and I'll kill you." With that the man grabbed him and dragged him by the arm to another part of the pitch.

"Well Potter, are you going to lie on your back in front of me or not?" Snape smirked at surprised teen.

Grinning, Harry lied down, "Please sir," he whispered, "be gentle."

Another round of that blush was his answer.

Snape, as if to punish Harry, started helping him with the exercises, making sure that none of it felt good now and relaxing only afterwards.

"Ow, sir, stop, it hurts!" Harry cried when Snape raised his leg up, like he did Lupin's.

"Shouldn't you be used to it Potter? You look like one who likes to lift his legs up a lot. I'm sure you're used to let your partners do the physical work."

_Is Snape mocking me? Oh, this means revenge._

"Sorry sir, but just because you look like you like it rough, doesn't mean that others do."

Snape snorted as he kept on the exercise.

"I should have pegged you for the slow and sensitive type, Potter," Harry cried out when he felt the man popping some muscle.

"Careful! Told you it hurts!"

"A little dose of pain never hurt anyone," The professor switched legs and Harry gasped when he felt Snape's hand touching his inner thighs.

"Fuck!" he cursed, as he tried to will his cock down. Snape's moving hands weren't helping as they now started a small massage.

"Language. This, Potter, is for relaxing the inner muscles. You see, when you will run, or perform any sort of activity that involves using your body extensively, this muscle will be one of the few that will cramp if you don't work it properly first."

Harry only managed to catch some of that lecture as he tried to keep his breathing intact and his cock from coming.

Though, with the way his mind only caught on to the parts that could be related sexually, it was kinda **hard**.

"Moreover, this massage helps relax the area surrounding the muscle, another important thing, as that helps a lot. do you know why that is, Potter?"

With the blood rushing into his cock at great speed, Harry doubted he could find the answer, but nonetheless he tried.

"To get it soft?" he knew it wasn't the right answer from the look his teacher supported but as he was trying to stop an orgasm, he really didn't care.

"Wrong, Potter. One would think **you** would know the answer_."_

_Oh, up yours sir, let see you try to think something up, when you've got someone else's hands practically caressing your cock, oh what I wouldn't give to be that person._

"The reason it's good, is because it allows blood to flow in your veins, most of your body is stretched tight so not a lot of blood flows, but by relaxing it every once in a while, you allow a renovation of cells to occur."

"Sounds great sir," Harry gasped, **god **his cock was so hard.

"Not that you would care about such things" Snape shook his head and as he raised his hands farther up, a moan was torn out of Harry's flushed face.

"Please sir," the young man gasped, uncaring what the man above thinks; only caring about the need cursing in his veins.

"Very well, Potter," Snape let go and Harry groaned in disappointment, before arching up with a gasp.

Snape's hands had sat themselves even higher on his body, and Harry hoped that the man wasn't aware of the erection they almost touched.

Said hands had started stroking the area they were on, moving much faster then before, as they kneaded the tense skin below.

"Turn over." Snape spoke and Harry's eyes which he didn't realized he closed, shot open.

"What!!" he practically yelped.

Snape raised an eyebrow, "I thought you said you would obey without thought, Potter?"

Blushing from what, he did not know, but Harry nonetheless turned around.

When Severus' hands had reached the bottom of his arse, Harry gasped and pushed back.

When he heard a chuckle from above, he tensed as he felt his face flush.

"I knew I was right," Harry scowled at that before his expression turned blank when Severus circled his palms around Harry's hips and pulled down hard.

The circular kneading motion that Snape's massage gave, moved Harry's entire body and pushed it into the ground. Harry gasped when his cock rubbed the hard surface from below, before tensing as he felt his balls drew up.

Stuttering, and gasping, Harry came hard just as Snape began a light massage, using his index and middle finger while increasing the pressure.

"Are you okay, Potter?" The man asked as he pulled back a few seconds later. "I wasn't too hard on you?"

While said mockingly, Harry still flushed red as he stuttered a reply. "N...no s…sir, you were good." _But I was definitely naughty. Dirty, dirty boy._

Snape frowned at him, but Harry pretended not to see.

"Potter?" Snape asked after the boy has yet to get up from the ground.

Harry paused as he hastily got up, turning around so that the man would not see the wet spot on his pants. (A hard on could be hidden under the tight black pair of sports pants, if trapped under the waistband, don't ask us how. A white stain, however, was kinda harder to hide).

"Yeah, I'm fine; it was great, yeah, huh ha, sure. Uh, bathroom." He hastily muttered as he hurried across the lawn, heading to the changing rooms.

He didn't notice a pair of black eyes staring at him calculatingly.

--3&SEX&3--

"Oh my god Ginny you won't believe what just happened!" Harry spoke to the girl who was still upset at him from pulling her away from her talk with Luna.

While it was good for the whole act played for Ron and Hermione who were watching the scene, it wasn't good for Ginny, who tried to hit on the girl and her chance was denied from her. She said just as much to Harry.

"What the hell Harry? I was trying to get laid!" Harry paused as he gave her a quizzical stare.

"You and Luna? Hmm, I suppose it could work. If you like I could help you there."

Ginny gave a grin. "Alright then, I'll take you on that deal. Now what's up?"

Harry gave her a brief summery of PE that ended only after half and hour had passed, and only because Ginny had stopped him from finishing due to a spontaneous sneezing fit.

"So you came from his expert touch, what do I have to do with it?"

Harry glared. "Oh come on, I listened to your dykes one on one, now it's my turn."

Ginny rolled her eyes. She still hasn't figured out how anyone has yet to realize how gay her best friend really was, what with his melodrama trait.

"Whatever Potter, so how do you think I should approach Luna, definitely not like Pansy, right? Because I really don't think she'll go for a just sex relationship. And I really want something more with her…"

"Ginny!!" Harry scowled and said girl rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine, what can I help you with?"

"I wanna know what to do! Should I go to him? Or not?"

Ginny sighed; she really wasn't into the whole thing even if the thought of two hot men together turned her on.

"You know, this is just like the time I had this crush on Tammy, maybe you should do the same…?"

"And what did you do?" Harry asked as he was quite unaware of his best friend's sex life. Well, anything pertaining to the past years.

"Oh, I did this," she leaned over and started telling the eager boy everything, smirking when Harry's eyes light up on every other sentence.

"This is like the best plan ever!" Harry cried out happily.

"Good." Ginny spoke. "Now, to get back to **my** problem, how do I get Luna? And it better be good," She warned.

Harry smirked, "Oh, it's gonna be. First you'll do this…" they trailed off into the plan and only came out of Harry's room the next morning.

Both were rumpled and bleary eyed and their looks set off a whole explosion of a different kind when Ron caught them coming out of the room, partly dressed.

It wasn't their fault that they fell asleep while in the midst of their seducing plans. And it certainly wasn't Harry's fault that Ginny got warm in the middle of the night and took her top off. Nor was it Ginny's fault that Harry's pants had gotten too tight to wear and he had to remove them and remain in his boxers.

Yep, it wasn't their fault. So why on earth didn't Ron, or anyone else, believe them?

-21-2-3-12-1--32--32

"Oh, its baby day again, isn't it? Oh hell. All right, here we are Lyra, daddy's got you."

"I thought you were the mother, Potter? Oh, there's no mistake, not after what I heard yesterday in PE… 'Please, ow, it hurts! Please be gentle… I'm so delicate… it's my first time...' Ha! Like hell it is!" Draco snorted.

Potter glared, raising his hand straight. "Talk to the finger because even the hand won't hear it anymore Malfoy." Though, Draco being a pureblood, he completely missed the whole point.

"Look who's talking, I heard from Parvati how you and Blaise looked as if you were about to have sex on that lawn." the blond boy flushed, "No, we weren't!"

Harry mimicked Draco's snort. "And I'll believe that when pigs fly without the help of a hovering charm and transfigured wings."

Again, Draco being a pureblood missed the whole point.

"Whatever Potter, at least I actually had sex later with my partner, can't say the same about you."

The boy-who-lived rolled his eyes, even if a flare of jealousy appeared at hearing that.

_That's just dumb, why would I be jealous of Malfoy? Stupid really. _

(RockJunkie: I just noticed: our story is one year old! DikiCat: connection??).

"Not like I wasn't trying. His blush is so edible…"

Just at that second Lyra made her presence known by crying for her bottle.

"Well, I gotta get going before I get a headache. Good luck with your **virtue**, Potter…" Malfoy snorted again, and left Harry alone with Lyra at the Gryffindor table.

"So, I heard about what happened last night with Snape. **Then** I heard about what happened with Ginny. Way to go to keep your act up, Harry. Are you just gonna scram it out now? People are wondering."

Julia just sat down next to Harry and stole his plate.

Harry stared at her as she shoveled his food into her mouth. "You could have asked, you know?"

Julia rolled her eyes, before picking the baby from Harry's hands and sitting her in front of her table.

With a positively evil smirk, she started loading baby food on her empty spoon.

As she got the spoon close to Lyra's mouth, Julia made a spontaneous U turn and shoved the food into her own mouth.

"Hey!!" Harry cried out as Lyra started crying out.

Julia nodded sadly. "Yes, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, I promise not to do it again" when Harry nodded, she took another loaded spoon to the baby's mouth before pulling the same trick again.

"Oops, must be a reflex." Julia laughed as Harry took a screaming Lyra into his arms and started soothing her, before feeding her properly.

"I really pity your kids when you'll have them." he muttered with a glare.

Julia stuck her tongue out at him. "Did you really come by Severus' touch?" Harry chocked on his drink.

Looking around him, incase anyone heard that, he scowled. "Who told you that?"

Julia smirked "you have three guesses and the first two don't count".

Rolling his eyes, Harry spoke. "Draco." Julia grinned. "Why did he tell you that?"

The girl looked positively scary what with the smirk she had on. "I caught him screwing Blaise on the common room couch, told him I'll snitch to Snape unless he gave me personal Hogwarts info."

"Personal my ass, Draco's such a gossip!" He placed Lyra on his shoulder as he tapped her back to get her to burp, which she did.

Julia sighed, "I know. You should have heard what he said about….." She trailed off with a blush on her rosy cheeks.

"On who?" Harry asked curiously but the girl shook her head, "No, never mind, not important".

Harry had a feeling it was, but he let it go.

"So," Julia started "did you and Ginny sleep together?"

Harry choose not to answer and instead headed to his first class, history of magic after he finished eating.

_Well at least I'll be able to catch up on some sleep. I really pity any boy or girl who will sleep with that red in a bed, Ginny sure knows how to kick._

Tbc.

--3...9862--

A/n: We are soooooooooooooo flattered, ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS!! Do you hear that??

You broke a chapty record! So we, your humble writers (you can add in your mind, about the prefectness of the beings that are us, modest is one of them), decided to reward you with a brand new chap!

And… **Maybe** I (rock junkie) will post the one-shot we told you about! (Of course, only if you ask me to, **nicely**. Ha ha).

DikiCat murmurs: you know something? The whole conversation in PE was like totally inventive (I made it up) but when we checked it out, it was true! Strange, I must have some psychic powers.

RockJunkie rolls her eyes: just ignore her; she's like, so weird like that.

DikiCat (in a completely fake hurt voice): You said it wasn't a bad thing!!

The other writer (as she crosses her fingers behind her back) speaks: Of course not! Would I ever lie to you??

The young feline cat shakes her head, "Nope, but then again, you used to be innocent..." Before shrugging and asking for a pat.

RockJunkie obliges.

What? We're not weird!! Honest.


	16. The stuff dreams are made of…

**Chapter 16: The stuff dreams are made of... **

**(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)**

Thank **god** it was Friday. Even though he had to spend it with Lyra, the day seemed promisingly short and to the point.

Later tonight, he remembered, is movie night. And he arranged for McGonagall to baby sit (or in other words, probably 'turn off' the doll with a secret magic code thing and leave it neglected) till tomorrow morning. He had a feeling that since the movie **was** for the six-seventh years, he should probably leave Lyra with a supervisor.

All in all, it has been a boring morning. _What else could it be, if it even __**started**__ with history of magic? Yawn._

After two hours of the dead man's tale (A/n: Nice, ay? Arrr!), he took Lyra down to the greenhouses for double Horology, with the Ravenclaws. To his relief, he was teamed up with the Patil twins, who worked well with him, and also complimented him on his new look.

"I didn't have the opportunity to ask you, why the sudden change? Not that you don't look, well, great, now with the long hair and all," Parvati blushed a little as she spoke, "but why not keep it short?"

"Oh, I just got sick of being the same old thing day after day, I suppose. It was a time for a change. 'The wind has shifted' and all that, you know."

"Well" Padma started, "I think you look really good, better then before- not that you didn't look good before," she added hastily, blushing madly.

Harry gave her a grin. "Yeah well, thanks."

Parvati smirked as she leaned to whisper into Harry's ear. "So, Harry. Is it true?"

Harry frowned. "Is what true?"

The young woman smiled mischievously, "You know," she nudged him, "you and our lovely red head. Did you and she sleep together or was it just rumors?"

A smirk of his own appeared on Harry's face. "Why? Jealous?"

The Gryffindor's eyes widen. "You didn't! OMG!!" As she squealed the last, Professor Sprout yelled for silence.

Wide eyed, Padma turned to Harry. While not much of a gossip like her sister, she too had a flare for the 'art'.

"How was it?" Harry raised an eyebrow before leaning down and whispering in her ear "It was the stuff dreams are made of."

_Well, more like nightmares in my case,_ Harry fought a shudder away. _Eww, sleeping with Ginny, yuck! _

Before either one could comment, the bell sounded and Harry hurried away, thinking that he should probably tell Ginny what just happened, before she'll kill him.

_After all she is a red head._

He frowned wondering where she was, before grinning as he saw Colin creepy heading for the great hall from the doorway to the dungeons.

_Well, everyone expect me to wait up for Ginny now that we are 'seeing' one another._

He walked to the doorway and entered the almost empty room.

The minute he came in, most of the girls caught the sight of him and burst out in giggles and shared grins. One turned to Ginny and pointed Harry out with a wink.

_Ginny could be such a great actress,_ Harry thought as he returned the almost painful hug the girl throw at him.

"HARRY!" She grinned at him before kissing him on the cheek, much to the surrounding girl's smiles and sighs.

"They're like the perfect couple!" One whispered to her friend and both Harry and Ginny pretended not to hear as they smiled at one another warmly.

"Weasley, Potter, unless you wish for me to regurgitate my breakfast, I suggest you stop this **disgusting** show of affection** now**." A cold voice broke them apart.

Harry blushed red as he tried to avoid the professor eyes. Ever since PE, Harry has basically removed his presence from Severus' life. The embarrassment from that time had put him off for a while, and he decided that until he had a perfect plan to seduce Snape, he should just look and not touch.

Snape frowned at the boy, wondering before turning to Weasley and the rest of the girls in his classroom. "Leave!" He needn't have said anything else as the minute they noticed his presence, some had already ran away in fear of a detention.

_Hmm, and they are supposed to be Gryffindors._

"As for you two. Anymore of these sick displays and you will be punished severely, especially you Potter. Understood?" Snape's eyes narrowed with an unrecognizable flare when the boy merely blushed hard and didn't answer.

"Yes professor Snape." Ginny grinned as she took Harry's hand in hers, and caressed his cheek with the other, "It's just that- we are so in love with each other!"

Harry frowned at her; she was never like this. Ginny catching his thoughts, gave a roll of her eyes. When that didn't make Harry understand, she pointedly moved her head to the side.

Harry frowned. _What's her problem? She looks like she's pointing….._

Harry turned his eyes to watch the floor near the door, his eyes widening a friction when a familiar looking shadow was spotted.

Understanding Ginny's attempts, he smiled. "Yes, I mean, I always liked Ginny, but there was just something **more** about her since the start of the year, it's like I'm bewitched by the witch or something."

From the corner of his eye, Harry saw the shadow tense just like Ginny did.

_Yep, defiantly a good actress._

"Awww, Harry! Like I would do that to you, sweetie! You're merely under my love spell!" Harry nodded obediently before speaking. "Yes dear, enchanted by you." And the shadow came forth.

"Well, it's so lovely seeing young couples expressing their love for one another in these dark times, don't you agree, Severus?" Albus Dumbledore's voice spoke.

Ginny gave the man a dazzling smile, "Hello Professor Dumbledore!" Harry just nodded.

"Hello, how are you in this fine morning?" He took in the look of Harry standing next to Ginny while the redhead held the young plastic baby in her arms.

_The young girl was right, they do look like the perfect couple_, was the thought Harry caught on from the old man's mind before he let himself get back to the conversation at hand.

"….shouldn't be a bother, right, Severus?" He looked at Ginny who tightened her grip on his hand, before dragging him away.

"Goodbye, Headmaster." She called out before slamming the door closed.

"Phew, that was close," she wiped the sweat off from her brow. "Why did you come to see me, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "I wanted to see him." He didn't have to say who.

Ginny snickered, "Well, you certainly made an impression, I would think…" She broke of in laughter.

Harry slapped her arm. "You prat."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Look who's talking."

She went and sat by his side in the Gryffindor table, wondering about the giggles that came when she caught the looks from Parvati.

"Um, Harry?"

"Mmm…?"

"Why are the world's biggest bimbos looking at us and laughing?"

Harry froze before whispering the story into her ear.

Ginny didn't move for several seconds before a scary look came on her face.

"Ginny?" The girl didn't answer as she stood up and made her way to the slytherin table, stopping right where the slytherin trio (now quartet) sat, before sitting as well.

Harry followed her there; aware of the looks everyone sent both him and her.

Ginny smirked as she leaned over to Draco and gave him a kiss on his cheek, much to an angry Blaise's annoyance.

Speaking loudly, she made sure everyone heard as she said "Thank you Draco, for taking care of Lyra so Harry and I could have an evening alone together."

Harry winched hard when he heard that. The reason came in three, two, one…

"POTTER! YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER!! YOU'RE DEAD!!" Ron Weasley's voice bombarded the silence and Harry ducked quickly when a spell came his way.

_How is it, that the only times Ron manages a spell right, is when he's pissed? (Not counting second year)._

_Oh, Ginny's so __**dead**__, _He thought as he ran out of the hall, an angry Weasley behind him.

_Though, I did kind of deserve it. Nah._

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/4\32/

Harry walked back into the hall, lunch almost over; some looked at him in amusement but other with frowns, especially as he headed to the slytherin table where Ginny still sat.

Speaking of the girl… "How are you still alive? I thought Ron was going to kill you for sure…or at least, chase you to the owlery and back."

Harry gave her a grin. "Oh, Ron? Well, he seemed to have surprisingly slipped into a huge pile of owl shit that appeared out of nowhere. I mean it was stinking **huge**, and dripping and-"

"Potter!" Draco glared as he pushed his almost empty plat away, "I'm not hungry anymore."

Harry shrugged as he grabbed said plate. "Really? Wonder why?"

Blaise shook his head and Julia pulled a feather out of Harry's hair.

"Are you ready for movie night?" Julia asked feeling jealous that they would get to see movies while they had PE, (the first years movie night, was only tomorrow).

Harry couldn't answer; his attention, as well as everyone else's in the whole had turned upward where a lone owl appeared- a really familiar owl.

The dark, brown owl landed in front of his plate and stuck his leg out, panting harshly.

Harry realized why, when he saw the package the animal carried.

He frowned and opened it with slightly shaking fingers (in excitement, not fear, Harry told himself).

He gasped when the led came off, though not totally as he didn't want everyone to see what was in the box. (Julia was already sending him knowing looks.)

"I got to try this on," He whispered to himself, though everyone heard him in the silence of the hall.

Closing the lid while blushing madly, Harry coughed as he exclaimed lamely, "Wow! What awesome quiddich books I got!" He held the box to his chest as he jumped from his seat, aware of the searching eyes.

Quickly gripping the attached paper that Ginny had almost grabbed onto, Harry almost tripped in his hurry to get out of the hall, and to his dorm, ASAP.

Unfortunately, fate was not on his side because as he hurried out the door, he didn't see someone entering it, someone he bumped into. (A/n: feeling a sense of de-ja-vu?)

Snape.

_Dammit_, Harry cursed into his thoughts as he fell hard on his ass. Ignoring the laughter that followed his fall, Harry dashed to grab the box, whose lid had started to come of, and you could see the pink wrapping paper that was inside it.

"Potter!" Snape growled as he picked himself from the floor, and took in the boy's expression and the not-discarded-anymore package, before speaking.

"What a big **package** you have."

The boy gasped in shock as he stared wide eyes at the man, _was it possible he saw?_ He wondered before he nodded hastily, "Thank you sir," and ran the hell out of the hall.

--\\/6787/\/\\--/Dikla is like amazing\--\\/6787/\/\\--

_Well, maybe Ginny was right about making an impression._ Harry thought as he sat on his bed, safe that this time he won't be interrupted by someone opening his door.

_Thank god for good spells_, he added as he placed his wand on his dresser.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Harry nervously opened the box, gasping when the lid came off completely.

"Jonathan, I think I fell in love with you." He sighed as he took in the toy that lay in the middle of the pink and purple wrapping paper.

Long, thick and in a dark blue color, it lied there, looking for all the world like it was a majestic crown or expansive jewelry.

Harry pulled it out with trembling fingers, frowning when he saw the attached tube and when reaching into the box, a pumping machine.

Confused and slightly horny, Harry turned to the note:

_To my Harry,_

_We'll be using this in the next movie. figured you should learn how to use it before._

_Hope you'll have fun…actually, I know you will._

_Think of it as an early paycheck (you'll get that as well, don't worry)._

_P.s: the pump goes on the tube; I'll let you figure out what comes next._

_Enjoy,_

_Jonathan._

Harry's eyes went big as did his cock, and he hastily pulled his pants off as the restriction made him feel uncomfortable.

His hands were still shaking a bit as he looked at the toy that lay so innocently beside him (he placed it back down in order to read the note).

_Can the toy really do that?_ But Harry knew that he was going to have to see it for himself.

Moaning, he started wetting his fingers with his saliva, imagining the fingers in his mouth to be Severus' cock.

When he felt that they were wet enough, he pulled them out with a slight popping sound.

He shivered in anticipation when he circled his hole with just one of them, before gasping when he allowed the digit entrance.

He wasn't all that tight, not after all the movies he made, but there was still some resistance when he tried adding another finger.

When he felt as if he was ready, he added yet another one, moaning as he brushed his sweet spot.

Sighing, Harry groaned hard, thanking whoever invented silencing charms in his mind, as a fourth finger entered him.

Pulling all out, several minutes later, and panting from the need cursing in his veins, Harry picked the toy up, hastily attaching the pump to it.

When he shoved the toy in, Harry gasped loudly, not as loud as the groan he gave the minute he started pumping it.

Practically arching of the bed, from sheer pleasure, Harry mewled and shrieked as he fucked himself hard.

When he came, not even ten minutes later, he couldn't get embarrassed due to panting and breathing too harshly for that.

But when he saw that he was still hard, he grinned, glad that as a teenager he could pretty much get a hard-on by rubbing up against a tree, before he started again.

This time he started firstly by tracing his nipples, moaning as he played with them; pinching and rolling them in his palm.

When he couldn't take it anymore he slowly traced his hand downwards, firstly playing with his pubes, liking the feeling of fingers running through his hairs.

Tracing his hands downwards he completely bypassed his prize as his hands reached to his hole, the one that was still filled with the toy.

Grabbing the base of said toy, Harry moaned hard when he felt his still sensitive walls clenching at the slight move he gave before twitching as it was slowly pulled out with his hands. Slowly, because he loved the sensation, given both with a real cock and a fake one, of his ass muscles both pushing out the invading figure yet holding on hard as it strained to keep the cock inside. A feeling, Harry knew he would never grow tired of.

When the toy was freed at last, Harry didn't wait a single moment for relaxation before he slammed it back in, screaming when he immediately grazed his prostate.

"Oh god," Harry couldn't help but hiss as he started slowly fucking himself with the toy, because teenager or not, he knew that if he'll go any faster now, he would come too soon and he really didn't want it over, not yet anyway.

Harry whimpered as he finally allowed his cock to be touched. "Oh," his mouth formed the perfect shape of the word as he gave his cock long, hard and firm strokes while the other hand moved rhythmically between his legs, and then….

Then it was like he was in one of his movies again. Feeling the guy's cock brushing his prostate, banging against his balls with every thrust, moaning as he bagged, both mentally and out loud, for "More, oh god, please more, I need it!" And oh how he needed it.

Harry could feel it pushing at him, could feel the pull that started from his toes, burning his way up his legs to his thighs, balls and finally his cock.

When he came again, the name he screamed made the only difference between now and his movies, and as he lay in his bed, drained and sedated, Harry mused on it.

Severus.

The one he wanted more than all.

The one he had to have, and would do anything to have.

Severus.

His passion, his life, his heart's desire.

Simply Severus.

And he was going to have him soon, and the man better be ready.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Standing in front of his mirror- regular one, not the talking kind- he straightened out his outfit. He was wearing the black jeans he got in the wardrobe department from his last movie, a black shirt to fit, and black shoes.

He looked in the mirror and smirked.

"I have this feeling…" he said to himself, tapping his lips with his finger. He then stretched, raising his hands to their full height and standing on his toes. He instantly moaned, the voice coming from deep inside him.

"…that tonight's movie…" He then bent over and touched his toes, for good measure, and another moan escaped his lips.

He straitened up and took a lollipop from a pack of sweets he picked up from the kitchens some time ago, and stuck it in his mouth.

"…is going to be especially interesting tonight."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

--

A/n: first of all, ATTENTION! Rock Junkie has published her one-of-a-kind, PWP/one-shot story; _**Watch Your Ass, Potter!**_ You better go see it; it'll blow your mind! (And other things, if you beg…) it's on our profile, so go read it right now! (After you review, of course.)

DikiCat: you do realize you're commercializing your story? Basically selling it away, just to get more reviews?

RockJunkie: Hmm….maybe….But I don't care!!

DikiCat: And then they say I'm a whore for fics….sure.

RockJunkie: stop ruining it then….I'm like totally allowed to say what I want.

DikiCat shrugs: sure what ever don't blame me when your master will come to punish you for not being submissive enough.

RockJunkie grins: oh yes, you would like to see that, wouldn't you? but oh well on to other announcements….

DikiCat has thought of killing her school classmates because they are annoying her quite a lot. Shame she has great control…… but seriously if one asks for private lessons then one should wait to hear the basics of a topic before wanting to find out everything else, otherwise he wouldn't understand, would he? But nooo why would they? Stupid, incompetent fools the lot of them.

Speaking of which, DikiCat and RockJunkie are in the end of their school year sooo updates will be later then usual. Though, considering that DikiCat has already received over two tests back, both with perfect scores (and considering its math and electronics and English- but I'm not counting the last) it will still be great.

DikiCat wanted to take a moment and ask her readers (those who read her stories under her nickname B2J) to tell them the good news, she has written (computer and notebook) the next episodes for **'fate is a bitch'** and '**going from the start'**…. So you'll have something more to look forward to.

As well as the fact that once I'll finish loading the Lucius/Harry/Severus story into the computer it will come out as well (not my fault- or maybe it is, should have written it on the computer in the first place, but then what would I have done in math class?) and RockJunkie showed me the first sketch of the sequel to her story- the hot one, with Draco screwing Harry in it….don't remember? Read it!! I don't care if you already did…do it again!! Now!! No wait, not right now, finish this a/n first and then….good. (DikiCat wonders if the readers have understanding problems while shaking her head at her thoughts).

Anyhow…..read and review and for that BITCH who called Rock Junkie's story a rape one….well, I have news to you girly, this is one of the hottest fics I have ever read, and I have read a lot and if you think that flame is going to put a downer on her writing skills you are sadly mistaken (refer to above announcement for the why).

So all you have fun and review and read the next one- you'll love it.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/6\/\/\2--+-+-+-+-+-+-+--+2

_**(\/) this is bunny; copy it into your profile to help him gain world domination. **_

_**('.')**_

_**(")(")**_


	17. Silly, useless muggle thing

**Chapter 17: Silly, useless muggle thing, work already!**

A/n: Yes, we're back! After a VERY long month of tests and studying non-stop, we finally got this chapter on the (virtual) road! We worked really **hard** on this one, to get it just right for you. So we hope you enjoy! Please R&R!

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

"Normal talk"

'Acting' 

_'Thoughts'_

#&#&#&

As soon as Harry stepped into the great hall, he immediately looked around in wonder and grinned widely. The house tables and the head table were gone, and instead the room was furnished like an old theater house; Rows after rows of red cushiony seats facing a big stage with red curtains hanging on each side, and a big white screen in the center.

"What are you smiling about?" A voice startled him and Harry turned to see the Weasley twins leaning against the wall near the entrance.

"Fred! George! What are you doing here?" Harry grinned and rushed to them, stopping for a few moments after his little turn in order to calm his suddenly erratic breathing.

"You okay, Har?" One of them spoke endearingly and Harry knew it was George because he was more motherly then Fred.

"Yeah, why shouldn't I be?" Harry winked at them, his eyes glinting strangely, "You still haven't answered my question."

Fred smirked. "Oh you know us, just wanted to make sure you were well….. And to help with the movie, of course."

"That was **your** idea?" A voice commented and they turned to see Ginny walking calmly towards them.

"Hey Harry," She gave him a hug, "where's the baby?" Harry just smiled. "Gave it to the cat-woman, remember?"

Ginny gave a giggle "So I take it you left the baby to be abused in a corner while McGonagall laughs evilly?"

The twins frowned as both Harry and Ginny dissolved into laughter. "What's the deal?" one asked and Ginny explained.

"We have this theory, that when we give the baby to professor McGonagall to baby sit, all she really does is turn it off somehow and leaves them in a pile while she continues doing her cat-woman things,"

Harry nodded and added, "But since everyone considers McGonagall to be one of the most controlled witches we know, we think there has to be some way for her to elevate her anger as to not kill us innocent students."

Ginny giggled before continuing, "Yeah, so basically while Harry and every other '**parent**' in this school thinks that the baby is being left on its own while McGonagall's busy with her things, we believe that what she really does is kick it around while chucking things at it…"

"Throw it against the wall…." Harry put in.

"Transfigure it into something she can jump on," Ginny said

"Or just hex it until it explodes or until it's really disfigured, while imaging each and every one of our faces instead of the dolls." Harry finished and by then, all four were laughing so hard, that it took a while for them to understand the other.

"You know, we should have realized it was like that," George spoke seriously to his twin who nodded and continued. "It really never came to my mind that she might have some sort of an outlet for her anger…." He couldn't speak anymore cause he was too busy laughing.

"Okay, okay. Now why are you here? You said it had to do with the movie." Ginny got them back on topic.

Fred grinned- never a good thing, before he spoke, "Well yeah, you didn't really think that the professors came up with this idea themselves…"

"...Or had the mental capability of actually charming the whole thing and getting it to work…right?"

"I mean they are brilliant and all, but pah-lease! Give me a break."

"So we, your devoted red-head helpers, have decided to pitch in and help you poor, unfortunate little students, enjoy a quite evening once a week, watching a good movie….."

By now, Ginny and Harry looked at them with frowns on their faces. "One thing I want to know…" Ginny started and Harry finished her thought, "Since when do you two ever help anyone from the goodness of your heart?"

George took several steps backwards as he held a hand to his chest before he spoke hurtfully. "How can you say that Harry?" he started to sway on his feet before collapsing in his brothers arms; arms that were strategically placed behind him.

"You can't fool us. What are you two planning?" Harry spoke knowledgably. Beside him, Ginny was nodding. "You really can't, you know?"

The twins tried and failed to hide their smirks. "Oh just a little something that will help set the mood."

"Now Harry," The twins latched onto the boy's shoulders after pushing Ginny none-to gently away.

Huffing (and puffing), Ginny left to find a seat while the twins grinned at one another. "Why is that, Harry, me love, that you look like you're hiding something?"

Shrugging, Harry just stretched again, biting his lip in order to stifle the moan that was about to be produced before grinning innocently at the two gorgeous twins. "Me? Hiding something? From you? Nooo….." With that he went and took the seat near Ginny, unable to hold his moan when his ass touched the seat.

Eyes narrowed with wonderment and curiosity, the twins handed the remote control to Dumbledore before they pushed Ginny away again to sit on either side of their sometimes-lover.

"Alright everyone settle down," Dumbledore spoke, his voice was magically magnified and he was standing on the stage.

When the theater (there was no other way to call it) calmed down, he spoke again. "I would like to thank you for coming here," he paused for a moment to smile at them, as if none of them were forced into going here.

And indeed you could see several muggle-haters glaring at Dumbledore for what he deemed as an enjoyable get-together.

"Before we will start this, I would like to take a moment to thank all those that helped in the making of this movie night, and trust me it was a lot of work arranging it, so please get a round of applause." He smiled as he started clapping hard, joined by some of the students and teachers.

"Now," He looked at them all sternly from over his moon shaped glasses. "I am afraid that those of you that do not want to stay here will be forced to, as the doors to the hall will close at the beginning of this movie and will not open until it ends."

(A/n: Very convenient, no??)

Harry wondered if that was a good idea- _Has the man never heard of fire escapes and emergencies?_

"Now," He clapped his hands together (a/n: in a really gay fashion) "let's enjoy this movie, and I'm sure it will be good." He couldn't have been more right.

Fumbling with the buttons, Dumbledore managed to get the remote to work after several minutes of giggling, and as the curtain stopped opening, the screen came to life.

What a girl needs!

Was the headline that first showed up on the screen, bathing the hall with blue light and a bit of purple in it.

Harry tensed and shot a look at the twins sitting to either side of him and looking as if they were completely absorbed in the movie. As they were in the first row, none of them had any problem in catching the words on the screen, it having changed to spell:

Starring: Lilo sky!!

Gulping, Harry turned to Ginny (he had to bend over George to do that) and whispered to her. "Promise me Ginny, that the minute the movie starts, you'll close your eyes."

Ginny looked at him disbelievingly, and snorted. "Like hell I will, this is **your** movie, and now it's **my **chance to see you in **action**." Harry winced at her unintended pun, before he turned to glare at the twins.

Both of which were staring at him with grins and smirks wide enough they made their eyes look like slits.

"You two…" He didn't finish his statement as music started to play. Over it Dean Thomas could be heard shrieking in a completely non-manly way, "Oh My God!! Lilo's playing in this!!" To Seamus who sat beside him and was giving him a wide-eyed stare, as if he too couldn't believe what the screen was showing.

Harry resisted the urge to duck his head. _Great, of all the people to see my movies it had to be the bloke version of Parvati and lavender_, he never even dreamed that there were people in Hogwarts that have seen the movies but he should have realized it as there were muggle born teens there and indeed, Harry could see a few more students gaping at the screen.

Dumbledore and those in the order who met Lilo in the summer were staring at the screen curiously, wondering about the nature of the movie.

Little did they know that they might regret that curiosity streak of theirs.

Music pounded through the club, showing the amount of people in it, all of which were dancing to the beat of the tune, or in some cases grinding against their partner of choice.

Such did a young girl who looked no older then sixteen, dressed in a leather skirt with a black tight brief shirt. High heel boots and a long braid completed her outfit and made her look both innocent and wicked at the same time.

"Hey there, little girl," A voice suddenly spoke and the girl smiled as hands circled her waist, "what's a pretty little thing like you doing in a place like this?" The man murmured as he started swaying with the girl to the new song that started playing.

By now the girl was practically glued to the man who was busy licking her neck, it having been thrown backwards at the first touch.

Some of the teachers shared looks at one another, shifting uncomfortably in their seats while the students just grinned and giggled with one another.

"Oh, **yes**..." The girl moaned as she turned to look fully at the man who gave her that feeling.

Long black hair mated with blue stripes adorned a chiseled face, and black eyes stared at the girl in front if him in obvious lust.

Harry groaned a bit as he looked at those eyes before shifting a bit in his seat. When Jonny asked on his input for the guy's appearance, Harry immediately suggested black hair and black eyes- his thoughts of Severus on the front of his mind.

He shifted back again and a small moan escaped his lips, his eyes still stuck to the screen.

"What's your name?" The girl asked as she let her arms trail the length of the man's chest.

"Call me Gavin, everyone does," He groaned when she rubbed his nipples on the cloth. "and you…everyone knows who you are, **Lilo Sky**…" he breathed her name and the girl smiled.

"Do they now?"

Gavin chuckled as he grabbed her hands and held them in their front. "Oh, yes," he nodded, raising her hands above her head. "just like they know exactly what it is you want."

Gavin's hand had trailed itself down Lilo's body till it reached her skirt, before it buried inside her knickers.

"**What is the meaning of this**!?" Minerva shrieked and some students jumped.

"Albus!!"

Said man was no better off as he fumbled with the remote in order to shut down the movie. The remote, however, refused to work.

Some watched as the headmaster got more and more frantic with the plastic device and started to press the buttons harder and harder, until he eventually started hitting it with his hand in desperation, mumbling things to himself like "Silly, useless muggle thing, **WORK** already!"

Harry and Ginny turned to look at the twins, one of which was holding a remote control in his hand and grinning.

"How long do you think it will take Dumbledore to realize that he doesn't have the right one?" Harry couldn't help but snicker as he saw the staff trying to charm the curtains close again when they realized that it was quite difficult working the remote.

The curtains, however, refused to move and the twins grinned yet again, especially as a large moan echoed the hall- curtsy of one Lilo sky, who was being stroked firmly by Gavin.

Harry was glad that at least neither of the teachers saw that it was in fact a boy under those clothes, due to the low lightning in the club itself, and the frantic movements of their bodies.

"WEASLEY!!" McGonagall shrieked, "What in the name of MERLIN were you thinking! What **is this**?! You were supposed to bring us a suspense movie-!"

Fred cut her off. "What? It **IS** a suspense movie! I can't wait to see what's going to happen next, can **you**?"

"This is not FUNNY Mr. Weasley! You are corrupting these children's minds! Now explain yourselves!!"

George took the dive. "Well madam, it really wasn't our fault." He went all puppy eyes on her, "You see, these things sometimes happen in the muggle world, you know? The whole movies-getting-mixed-up-in-the-tapes thing, somehow, due to the technology surrounding it and all?

"But you know, this it is a really simple mistake to make, I mean, just **think** of the probability factors, they are **enormous**. Once you put a tape in a box, there's a 50-50 percent probability of it ending up somewhere else entirely and of course don't forget to add the 90 percent chance that you got it all wrong in the first place, which is why most muggles check the tapes out before putting them back in, but since we were in a hurry we really didn't have time to check the complex mathematics surrounding the whole enchilada. So you see? A really easy mistake to make."

Harry was sure that McGonagall didn't understand half of what George was saying, which was the point, but she did manage to at least realize that it wasn't their fault- also their point.

_Probably due to the fact that she thought that the only time they use big words is when they are serious. Silly little cat-woman..._

"So what are we suppose to do now?" Minerva asked exasperated, and Fred shrugged "Watch the movie? After all, the theater isn't going to let us out until we do..."

Albus rubbed his chin while nodding "He does have a point," he murmured but Minerva shook her head. "Albus! You are NOT serious!"

The old headmaster turned to look at his deputy headmistress "Well, we did wonder how we were going to set the grounds for the 'you-know-what' thing, if you remember?"

At first McGonagall looked confused before a look of understanding came upon her. "Oh yes, you are quite right about that, so shall we sit back down then?"

"Yes, let's." With that the teachers slowly sat back down, much to the amusement of the students involved.

"Mmm..." was suddenly heard from the screen as the two main figures started kissing heavily, lips and tongues entwining and playing with each other. After a short while Gavin came up for air. 

"I know the owner of this place, and he gave me a room downstairs...I'll take you to places you've never been before... I'll take you so hard you won't EVER forget my name... **Interested**?" 

"Oh yes..." 

The man took the girl by hand and led her through the crowd to the back of the club where there was a door leading into a hallway lit with red lighting and posters of different kinds hanging from the walls; some models, some movie posters, some pictures of places and famous actors. They entered the room at the end of the corridor, the one which had the sign "Come at your own risk" on it. 

Inside the room, the big, smoky, light-blue room, stood a huge, white sheet covered bed that looked big enough to fit five, a fireplace with a rug in front, and a big bookshelf with a door next to it, probably leading to a bathroom. 

The bed itself was not empty since it already had two extremely hot, half naked men on it, making out.

"**Wh**...?" McGonagall gasped as she caught a look at the screen. She was not the only one, some of the teachers, concerned at her gasp, turned to look at the screen and gaped soundlessly abandoning their attempts of stopping the movie.

Harry shifted again in his seat as his mind revived the memories of that time. The time he found that he had another side to him; a dark one, one that should never be told in public, one that Harry loved and made him groan every time he thought of it.

The men, noticing that they had guests, broke off and raised their heads, freezing at the sight of Lilo sky.

"What's going on?" One of them started but the other had more tact and stood up, walking over to the couple near the door.

"My, my Lilo, fancy seeing you here. Any particular reason?" The blond man wondered as he trailed his hands up and down the sides of the young teen.

Lilo grabbed his arms, stopping his movements "I don't remember allowing you touch, Tom."

Tom just grinned before he quickly changed positions by being the one to grab Lilo's arms. He quickly raised them up, letting Gavin hold them tightly, while his hands roamed Lilo's body freely.

Lilo's eyebrow rose. "You certainly got some courage tonight, or maybe it's just stupidity?" The brown haired man, who still sat on the bed, chuckled as he motioned to Gavin to come forward.

Gavin did so, slowly walking Lilo with him, hands still held above her head. When they were but a foot away from the bed, the man told them to stop. They did.

Lilo frowned when she saw Tom coming forward with a pair of handcuffs, which he attached to her hands and to the bar above her which she didn't even notice.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lilo growled as she tried to move her hands away, a movement that she knew wouldn't work but tried anyway.

The man on the bed turned his green-blue eyes at her and sighed. "I would have thought it obvious,"

Lilo glared. "And who are **you**?" She spat.

The man wasn't bothered as he smiled. "The name's Alan, though I would have thought you would know that already Lilo, you do make a habit of knowing anybody who's a somebody."

Lilo snorted. "And you count yourself as a 'somebody'?"

Alan smirked as he rose from the bed and walked to her grabbing her braid and yanking hard.

He grinned at her yelp as he leaned forward, licking her neck. Making her moan.

Letting go, Alan spoke "Oh yes," he continued the treatment, producing tiny little moans from the helpless teen.

Hanging from the ceiling by her wrists, surrounded by three other men, all looking at her like she's lunch, and one actually **licking** her like ice cream…

Lilo couldn't help it; she groaned, arching her back and throwing her head back, giving Alan full accesses. 

"Hmm… looks like our vixen likes it…" said Tom, "I know what else she'll like… We'll make you beg before the night is out; you can count on that…" 

"Oh yeah?" Lilo panted, her gaze full of searing lust, "Prove it."

"With **pleasure**, my special little girl…" 

And with that, the three other men started to undress her, kissing every bit of exposed skin, only pausing for a moment to rip off her shirt since it couldn't be pulled away because the cuffs. 

"I'll buy you a new one." Said one of the three, but Lilo couldn't tell who since she was distracted by the mouth now making it's way from her abdomen to her groin. 

"Now let's see what the famous Lilo sky hides behind her beautiful skirts and panties…" 

The skirt came off at once, and a very prominent bulge stuck out from Lilo's little silky underwear. 

"Oh my!!" exclaimed professor McGonagall. Then, with a quick decision, spelled a pack of cards in front of her and said shakily, "Who wants to play exploding snap?"

The others ignored her.

"Mmm… look guys; she brought us a gift… a **tasty** gift…" 

The underwear came off and was replaced almost instantly by two wet mouths and a pair of hands. The teenager now revealed to be a young, VERY hard boy moaned low in his throat. 

"Sweet…" 

They explored everywhere, from the tip of Lilo's cock to the base plus his balls, two mouths turned three as his ass cheeks were parted and his crack was licked. 

Harry felt himself heat up uncontrollably. This was the beginning of the best part of the night as he remembered it. And yet, Harry couldn't help but look around at the other viewers, wondering how they took it.

Dean, Seamus and all the other kids who have watched the movies once already, were staring avidly at the screen, and Harry giggled when he saw that Dean had grabbed Seamus' hand and placed it on his crotch, forcing him to rub. Not that Seamus was complaining, from what Harry saw.

Some, Harry noticed, looked at the screen only when they thought no one was watching, and even then they looked oddly ruffled by the pictures they were shown.

"Oh my **god**, Harry, look at Snape!" Ginny whispered as she fought a giggle-fit off.

Harry's eyes immediately latched onto the man in question and what he saw made them go wide. Snape was staring at the screen, reverently, and every so often, his tongue would come out to wet his dry lips, and every once in a while- he would bite his lower one.

Near him, one of the twins groaned as they too looked at the man. "Well Harry," the twin on the right started. "it doesn't look like he minds your 'job', if you know what I mean," the other finished.

Harry gasped as thoughts swirled in his mind, but before he could pursue them, the screen demanded his attention.

"Oh god, please, I need to come!" Lilo's voice begged his capturers and all gasped when they heard the next sound.

Smack!

Lilo's head snapped to the side as he stared wide eyes at Alan. Said man simply raised an eyebrow, in a manner so familiar, some shivered.

"I believe you have yet to learn your place, Ms. Sky." He growled and grabbed hold of his hair yet again.

Lilo shivered as his hand trailed over his throat. "I…I…" he started but Alan covered his mouth.

"Hush." He murmured. "My pet should learn to obey commends". 

Lilo didn't know why it turned him on more than scared him when he said that.

"Did you bring it?" Alan turned to Tom, who nodded. All three had broken contact with the boy the minute Alan had slapped him. But now, they were back and Tom handed something over to the man.

Lilo whimpered when he saw what was in those hands.

A black leather whip.

Gavin saw him looking "Don't worry, Lilo, I'm sure you're going to like it, I know **I **will." he took the toy from his friend's hands and walked behind Lilo.

Slowly, he let the whip trace the length of Lilo's back, making the teen gasp as he arched up. And only then, did he raise the leather before whipping the boy.

"Ahhh!" Lilo cried out and Tom gently stroked his face ."Hush, Lilo, trust us." The whisper was meant more to the actor than the character but it fitted the occasion nonetheless.

Harry shivered in his seat, suddenly remembering how the actors rewarded him for being such a good boy and playing nicely after finishing the shoot.

Lilo breathed out, nodding hesitantly and Gavin whipped him again. This time, before he could cry out, Alan pushed Tom aside as he slammed his lips on Lilo's.

Moaning, Lilo didn't have a chance to try to break free as the whip fell again.

Pleasure and pain mixed and the delicate boy groaned into Alan's mouth. 

Tom leaned against his ear and breathed deeply "Would you like more, my Lilo?" He asked and the other two broke off to hear his whisper.

"I…I…" Lilo tried once more, staring helplessly at the men around him.

Alan, though, seemed to understand his problem. "Tell us love, we'll never judge."

Lilo shivered at the dark tone and nodded. "Please, give me more, teach me more." He breathed deep. "I need it"

Gavin nodded and pressed a kiss on Lilo's unresisting lips.

Harry whimpered once more as remembered those strokes of the whip, caressing his skin in a fashion so unique. He knew it would be long since it will be forgotten.

"Should I punish you more?" Gavin asked "You're awfully naughty." 

Lilo turned his head his way, or as much as he could in his position. "What ever my masters want, I shall take." He breathed out with a small moan.

Harry shifted in his seat once more, completely missing the look one professor sent his way, as he turned his head around, looking for other reactions.

It wasn't until his gaze landed on the backseats that something caught his gaze.

Two heads; one blond, one black haired were snogging- in mid air. Flouting like two very hormonal balloons. The blond one must have felt Harry's stunned gaze, because it ended the kiss with a gasp for air, and turned to look at him. It was Draco and Blaise. Red faced, panting, and glazed eyed, they stared at Harry staring at them, and then looked at each other. They gave Harry a 'Mind your own fucking business, will ya?' glare, and Draco's hand pulled a material up and the heads disappeared again.

He turned back around.

"Ginny?" he said after a minute of watching himself on the screen in a stunned silence.

"What?" she whispered back, over George's lap, still looking entranced by the screen which was showing her brother/best friend in a way she had never imagined.

"How did Malfoy get my invisibility cloak?"

Ginny's eyes widened. "Oh." She smiled at him apologetically. "Oops…"

Alan grinned at her answer "You learn fast, little one," He rewarded him by dropping to his knees and resuming an abandoned task.

Lilo practically screamed from the sensations he got. One side pulling her making her feel pain while the other was pure pleasure.

He didn't want to displease his masters and spoke through the haze of lust. "Please, don't let me, I shouldn't, didn't get permission, and I don't want to let you down." He babbled helplessly and Tom chuckled. 

"It's okay my vixen, you're allowed. Enjoy." His words were like a spell on Lilo's body. At the minute they were spoken, the suspended boy let go, coming with a gasp down Alan's throat.

He felt boneless, glad for the ties that held him up.

Slowly his head rose and he looked at the three men. "Is that all your capable of?" He wondered and Gavin leaned down to nuzzle his throat. His hand already dropped the whip to the floor.

"I take you're in the mood for more?" 

"Oh** please** master…" Lilo sighed. 

Over at the teacher's table, a certain professor shifted in his seat and looked once more in Harry's direction.

Lilo was biting her lip before giving him a coy smile "That is, **if** can do more…"

Gavin smirked at her, trailing his hand along the girl's exposed thigh, "Oh I can do more, so much more you'll **beg** for me to let you come."

Lilo smiled. "Can't wait, **master**."

Harry shifted in his seat, letting the sensation and memories flood into his mind. _God how hard I was that night_, he thought to himself.

"Look at me!" Tom growled and Lilo raised her head, giving him one of her famous smirks. 

"Tell me what you want!" He spoke again, this time his voice was lower, gentler, more demanding yet still authoritative. Lilo moaned at its sound.

"You know what I want," she said to Gavin, who remembered saying the exact same words to her upstairs, "I want to be owned. I want to be marked. I want to submit. I want everything you can give me and **more**…" Lilo gasped as the words rushed out of her.

Harry had the same reaction; he remembered that at the time he had thought about Severus asking him the same question, and him answering back. An answer, Harry knew, that didn't match the script.

Gavin shared a glance with the other two men near him, before he turned back to Lilo.

"Untie her, Alan," Gavin growled and Lilo smirked. "I knew you'd see it my way." Her words were lined with the sounds of the handcuffs unlocking.

Tom grabbed Lilo as her knees buckled up from under her the minute the restrains were off.

"Oh," Lilo sighed and Tom didn't waste time in kissing her.

"Enough." Gavin ordered and Tom broke the kiss off, amused to hear Lilo's disappointed groan.

"Don't worry love, you'll get more soon." He spoke before he picked Lilo up and laid her on the bed.

Lilo moaned hard as she felt the silk under her feverish body. The cool feel of the sheets against his aching arousal was like torture and unbidden his hand trailed down his chest to grab his cock.

"No!" A voice barked and Lilo's eyes opened, giving Alan a longing glance. "Please?" she tried but knew it wouldn't work.

Alan sighed but shook his head regretfully. "Ours to touch, ours to commend, ours to play. Not yours." He remarked and Lilo closed her eyes again as she felt Tom's hand closing on her cock.

"Yesssss…" He hissed, as his hips snapped upwards trying to get more friction. 

"Oh, faster! Master, please!" He added and was rewarded by a firmer, longer stroke.

Lilo groaned as she trashed in her masters' arms, unable to believe, accept or control the reactions she got as each one played her body like a fine instrument.

A stroke of his cock; long, firm, torturing.

A pinch on his chest; twisting his nipples hard, sending little waves of pain-pleasure down his spine.

Fingers up his ass; probing, searching, touching him in such a way he could hardly stay still let alone relax.

"Oh," Lilo sighed as her body was explored in such a way she couldn't control it anymore.

The touch on her cock was replaced by a warm, wet mouth. And Lilo shrieked as she arched of the bed.

A chuckle was heard from above but Lilo didn't even dream to open her eyes to see who it was. She did open them, though, when the fingers in her ass; two or three she couldn't really tell, were joined by a tongue, moving in the same rhythm of the fingers. And Lilo gasped when he saw that it was Gavin down there.

Harry gasped hard when the camera concentrated on the dark- haired man, who was on his knees licking Lilo's hole as he stretched him open.

_God I want Severus so much_. He shifted more before giving up all pretenses and placing a hand on his crotch, letting his palm press on his bound cock. His erection throbbing painfully, letting him know that his hand wasn't enough.

The twins, sensing his problem, grinned at one another before two hands were roaming Harry's thighs. Teasing his senses, making him rub his hand harder, before ignoring (and forgetting) where he was and just shoving it inside his jeans, letting his hand grip his hard cock and stroke it without care, letting Fred and George worry about shielding him from other probing eyes.

Lilo moaned harder when he felt a mouth on his nipples; warm, wet, teasing them into hard nubs before biting down to add some pain into the mix. God, it was all too much and he knew he couldn't last it, didn't want to last it. Oh **god **how much he needed release.

Gavin, as if sensing his need, raised his head and spoke huskily, "Don't you **dare** come, Lilo, I want to be inside you when you do and you better obey me, or else…" He let the threat trail off but Lilo didn't even think about disobeying.

As if to enforce the lesson, the hand stroking him stopped at his base and squeezed, stopping any hope for an orgasm. 

Lilo pouted as he tried to will his body to not move. _God he was sooo hard and they barely even started_.

"Hand me the lube." Gavin spoke hoarsely and Lilo moaned at the sound.

So did Harry. _How many times have I wondered when I'll hear that sound from him?_

Alan pulled the cap of the jar open, before taking some lotion with his fingers.

Slowly, making sure that Lilo's attention was on him solely, he made a show of rubbing his cock with it, careful not to place too much pressure on himself or he will come too soon.

But Lilo wouldn't have cared wither way. "Oh god…" her head was tossed backwards and Tom couldn't resist leaning forward and sucking on her lovely neck, making sure to leave a mark on it.

Gavin grinned as he grasped Lilo's thighs, aligning her ass with his crotch. 

"Better keep those up," he smirked as he raised the teen's legs up, letting his two other partners grab hold of each leg.

"Mmm" Gavin licked his lips as his hands roamed the lovely globes of the child's arse.

Alan couldn't resist the sight of Lilo's tight little hole exposed like that. 

"I think she needs just a little more loosening…" And he bent down, and started licking his crease all over again. 

"I agree," said Tom, "and her mouth occupied." Still holding to her leg, Tom twisted around and introduced his cock to Lilo's mouth. 

"Mmm!" Lilo cried out around Tom's length, as Alan feasted on the boy's hole like it's the yummiest thing in the world, teasing the crease then shoving his tongue inside in short, wet stabs. 

It was almost too much for Gavin, who was watching how Lilo was practically fucking herself on Alan's mouth. He pulled Alan's head away by the hair. 

"Time to fuck." 

And he just shoved his slick cock right in. Lilo's muffled scram was heard around Tom's cock and the man moaned deep in his throat. 

"Oh **yes**, just like that. You like that, don't you Lilo, being fucked from both ways, having a cock in every hole possible?" 

Lilo moaned. 

"Don't you DARE come. You won't come till we all had a turn, you understand? It's only fair." 

"That's right," said Alan, who was feeling a little left out, but kept himself occupied by latching on Lilo's nipples and pumping himself to the rhythm, "can't wait to be inside you." 

It didn't take long for Gavin to finish. He came, panting moaning, into the pulsing heat of Lilo's ass. That's when Alan took over. 

Alan grinned as he stared at the twitching hole under him. He couldn't help but stick two of his fingers inside the still dripping hole, eliciting a twitch from Lilo.

Alan twisted his fingers around, making sure to grab some of Gavin's come before pulling them out. Grinning, he tapped Tom's thighs telling him to get up for a second.

Tom frowned, upset that his playtime with Lilo was over, before he smirked when he realized what Alan was up to.

Alan grinned as his fingers replaced Tom's cock and Lilo moaned hard at the taste he got.

Not breaking his hand free, Alan shoved himself hard inside Lilo. Only pulling it out when he started moving and letting Tom get back to his place.

Both came almost at the same time, and Lilo groaned when they did. 

"Ohh please let me come!" Lilo begged as they both broke off. "I need to come, please." 

Gavin stared at the young boy, his cock hard yet again. "Oh, I don't know if I should. You do look quite lovely like this, you know?" 

Lilo groaned piteously. "Oh, please master, let me. I'll do anything." He added.

"Anything?" Gavin wondered.

Tom and Alan were laying on the bed beside the two, staring at the couple with a smirk on each of their faces.

Gavin crawled up Lilo's body, stopping only when his mouth was in front of Lilo's.

Lilo arched up, trying to get a kiss from Gavin by force, while said man held her body down.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I didn't give you permission to kiss, now did I?" His tongue reached out to lick Lilo's lips but the second she tried to suck it into her mouth, Gavin pulled back.

"Naughty girl, you'll be punished for that." He grinned as Lilo growled in frustration.

Gavin didn't wait around to hear Lilo's growl but instead moved his arm down her body, reaching her cock.

Lilo grinned as she felt his touch on her cock, before he gasped in surprise as he felt something engulfing it- and not in a good way.

"Nooo, master please!" Lilo gasped out as he tried to come even with the added pressure the cock-ring gave him. Unfortunately, he didn't succeed.

Gavin grinned at him. "You'll have to wait some more. Punishment." He mocked him as he crawled further up the boy's body, aligning his cock with the other's mouth.

"Now, open up, like a good girl." He didn't wait before he shoved his cock in, grinning as he held his head by the hairs before starting to fuck his mouth.

Lilo, while disappointed, made sure to make up for her failure of her master by using her mouth skillfully, licking the underside, probing her tongue into the slit and sucking it hard, till Gavin moaned and cursed and panted from the assault.

It didn't take long for Gavin to tense and come under Lilo's talented tongue, though, at the last second he pulled out and came wonderfully on her face.

Before Lilo could do more then blink, her cock was encased in tight wet heat, and he wailed and whimpered as he felt a talented mouth sucking him hard, while pulling the cock-ring off with barley scraping teeth. 

Lilo screamed as he came hard in the willing mouth, unable to take it anymore.

When his eyes opened, he stared at the amused face of Alan who was licking his lips gleefully.

"Tastes good," He remarked and Lilo blushed red.

--/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\--

Lilo pulled her jacket tighter on her naked chest, staring at the club in front of her eyes.

"Oh man…" She whispered to no one in particular. "I am **definitely** coming here again."

The screen went black. The lights went back up. Everyone blinked.

Silence.

The first to get out of shock was Tonks. And her first words were:

"Oh **FUCK** that was hot." The silent atmosphere was broken and everyone burst out laughing.

Dumbledore, however, glared at her "Ms. Tonks," he shook his head "whatever do you mean by that?"

Tonks stared at him, mentally judging his sanity. "What do you **mean**, what do **I** mean? That was **HOT**!!" She jumped out of her seat (almost tripping over it) and turned to Remus.

"I am **sooo** sorry! You know, about everything?" She started but Remus hardly opened his mouth before she spoke again "And I wanted to ask you one thing, please??"

Frowning, Remus asked the obligatory question. "What?"

If anything, Tonks' smile grew wider. "Next time the two of you are together- can I watch?"

It was quite funny watching Remus gaping at her with his mouth practically touching the floor. Beside him, a black dog just toppled over in shock.

\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/

Back up front, Harry sat there in silence, unable to move, due to the sizeable bulge in his trousers. He couldn't let anyone see him like this! Just as he started to think of a possible way of escaping; crawling on the ground till he got to a corner and then making a run for the nearest bathroom- sounded about right. He was startled out of his thoughts by the twins sitting on both sides of him.

"We have three words to say to you, Harry," Whispered the twin to his right in his ear.

"Rim." Whispered the one to the left,

"Job." Whispered the one to his right,

"**Slut**." They finished together in his ears, and Harry shivered with an almost unnoticeable whimpering moan.

Next thing he know, he was being dragged hurriedly by both hands, a twin for each, up to the seventh floor.

Tbc. (I really think we can end it here, don't you?)

\/\/\/\#/\/\/\/\/\/\/\#/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

A/n: Wow, that's another one! Finally. On to chapter 18!

Now, (hopefully,) we'll have more time to write and THINK.

Rock Junkie has just two more final tests to do, which she is studying very hard for, and this summer she becomes a troop leader!

Imagine, me, in charge of about 15 to 20 kids under the age of 12. No, I will NOT read gay, M rated fiction to them! No, I will NOT give them 'the talk'! No, I will NOT make sexual innuendoes of everything they do! Jeez, it's only for 9 days… I'm not gonna kill them… maybe…

DikiCat: damm, there goes that lovely day-dream I had of you-

RockJunkie: (sharply) what day-dream?? You going all bi on me again??

DikiCat: Keep your panties on. Or off. I don't care either way (Wonders: though, the last option is much better in my unbiased opinion). Anyhow, where was I? Oh, yeah, the day-dream….yep. Just you, the kiddies and an abandoned shack where no one can hear them scream…. (Sigh) ain't it great??

RockJunkie: (Frowns) now Diki…I told you once, told you a thousand times, you can't kill kids….unless you have a good hiding place for their bodies, that is.

DikiCat: oh darn, oh well. Do we have any news to give the reviewers?

RockJunkie: mmm, nope. Oh wait, didn't you say something about a new story, a review of an old one you read and didn't like?

DikiCat: what? Oh yeah, blimey I forgot. But until I'll type it into the computer….though, I do have half of it in there, which is pretty much like all my other stories ….Rocky?

RockJunkie: What?

DikiCat: I think I have an addiction.

Silence.

RockJunkie: And you only realized it **now**?!

DikiCat: Well (rubs neck) you see, I never figured that the fact that I sometimes skip school to read more chapters of books, or the fact that the minute I have the computer to myself (and as you remember with five kids sharing a computer- it's kinda hard.) I want to read instead of write, or when I write I can't help but go over what I read, or….

RockJunkie: ALRIGHT!! You got it and that's all that matters, okay? Now maybe you can be a good girl and tell the reviewers to send you get well cards?? And reviews on the chapter that would make you and me feel better??

DikiCat: (gets down on her knees) I'll be good I swear!! I even promise to let a new story in two weeks a time and even try to update my old ones!! (Nods head to her every word) please!!

Well you heard them folks- 'till next time.


	18. A liquorish wand!

Chapter 18: A liquorish wand

**Chapter 18: ** **A liquorish wand.**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1)

Harry opened his eyes, staring at the red canopy above his head. He frowned for a second, wondering why he was so tired and sore, when it all came back to him.

_Movie night. The twins switching the tapes; the porn movie starring him; the twins fucking him in the room of requirement._

(A/n: be sure to check our profile for that one-shot….written exclusively by RockJunkie)

A smile broke on his face as he summarized that night. Hot.

**Bang. Bang. Bang.**

"Harry!! Get up mate, or you'll miss breakfast!" Ron Weasley's voice broke his musing and Harry groaned and buried deeper into his blankets.

_Why did I return to the room last night instead of staying with the twins? _

"Well come **on** Harry, we still have to check when **band** is, you know?" Harry glared at the red curtains separating him for his ex-best friend not to mention the heavy portrait obscuring the way to his room.

_Right, can't arouse people's suspicion_s. He shook his head as he got up and opened the doorway.

"Oh, finally! I thought you'll never wake up and I was calling you for ages!" The brat's whine grated on Harry's nerves.

Glaring, Potter didn't even bother answering that as he closed the door and headed to the showers.

"Oh fine, I take it you're still tired, you did get back late last night, though, I don't blame you. I would have wanted to clear my head out of that disgusting display of freaks and faggots, too." Harry froze on the threshold of the bathroom but didn't comment.

"Anyway, I'm going down to breakfast, okay?" He was glad that Ron didn't wait up.

_Stupid, arrogant, sniveling piece of shit!_ Harry fumed to himself as he started washing off.

_Fucking pig, saying those things. But I really shouldn't be surprised; he is a prejudiced little fuck, after all._

Harry sighed as he shook water out of his eyes. _Just forget it Potter, think about the twins yesterday, and their amazing use of the ROR._

The smile returned to his face as his hand trialed downwards to play with himself.

Finishing quickly, Harry dressed before hurrying over to McGonagall's office to pick up Lyra before heading out to breakfast at the great hall.

"Potter, give me that." A voice called out before the baby was plucked out of his hands.

"Hey! Oh, it's you." Harry paused as he suddenly remembered something. "How was it last night? And gimme back my cloak!"

Draco flushed a bit as he pulled the silky material out of his backpack. "Here you go Potter, it's quite useful, isn't it? Bet you use it for sneaking around at the boy's showers and locker rooms."

Harry rolled his eyes at the Slytherin. "Whatever Blondie. Will I see you at band today? Because you'll have to drop her **somewhere**, you know."

Draco snorted. "Band is sooo lame. But who knows? I might show up and have a few laughs. Are you? Yeah, I can see you as one of those band geeks. What's your instrument? A tuba? I noticed that you can really **blow hard**." He smirked at the reminder of last night's movie.

Harry actually chuckled. "And I wonder what yours would be. A flout? You seem to like having big, long, hard sticks in your mouth."

Draco shook his head as he brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. "I wouldn't talk, Potter. After all, last night's entertainment was quite **informative**, if you catch me drift."

"What, it showed you how to find Zabini's tonsils?"

"Funny. No, it taught me something much more than that, **Lilo Sky**. I wonder, where did you learn that tongue trick you used on that guy you were sucking? Quite useful, that."

"How did you-?"

"I'm not stupid, Potter."

Harry snorted.

"I can put two and two together." He continued, "It explains Potions class and muggle PE, and that weird 'I'm not in the golden fucking trio anymore' thing. Ha! **Master**." He drawled. "I bet that'll get professor Snape **really** bothered about you **now**. And suspicious. If I found out, **he** probably will. Any. Second. now."

Harry stared at him.

He thought for a moment.

He sighed.

"Alright, what's your price? I'll need to keep Snape off my case, too…"

Malfoy smirked. "Oh, I'll let you know when I think of something. For now, you can rest assured that your secret's safe. **And** I'll help you distract professor Snape, somehow, if he hadn't caught on to it already."

"Well-" Harry started but didn't get to finish. Lyra was just grabbed from Draco's arms and both turned to the culprit.

Ginny Weasley was busy looking at the baby and didn't pay them any mind as she flipped it around like a pillow and uncovered its clothes.

"Ms. Weasley. What do you think you are doing to that child!?"

Ginny raised her eyes to stare at professor McGonagall's narrowed ones. "Checking for tears and bruises." She answered and Harry immediately covered his mouth so Minerva won't see him giggling.

"What!?"

"Nothing, professor." Harry answered before anything left Ginny's opening mouth.

"It better be, you are supposed to protect this child, Potter, not abuse him-"

"Her." All three students cut her off.

"What? Oh right. Off you go to your seats." She left them alone. Harry and Ginny waited till she left before they burst out laughing.

"Can't believe you managed to get out of that." Ginny giggled.

Draco shook his head as he grabbed the baby back. "Gryffindors." He muttered before he headed to his seat.

Said Gryffindors just shrugged as they hopped onto their seats at their table and proceeded to eat their first meal of the day.

--0899kol\--\

Harry sighed as he walked outside towards the lake. There was still over three hours before Band practice which was optional, which meant, Harry knew, that only those who really wanted to go would go.

He wandered around for a while before he caught sight of Julia and some of her friends.

"Hey Julia! Wait up." He called out as he hurried over. Rose suddenly grinned and with a wink, stretched out her leg and made Harry trip.

"God damm it, all to fucking hell and back." Harry swore as he picked himself off the grass, the Slytherin's laughter echoing in his ear.

"Funny Rose, really witty." He glared at the girl.

"What do you want, Potter?" Julia asked once she got back her control.

"I want some information. Remember when you told me about Draco and his gossiping ways? Well, you told me that he told you something, but you didn't finish. What was it?"

Julia frowned. "Why now? I mean, it was a long time ago."

Harry shrugged as he flopped onto the grass beside her. "I heard some rumors about Luna and wondered if it may have had something to do with her."

Julia grinned as she sat straight. "Ohh yes, you won't believe want Draco said. See, apparently some older raven girls caught Luna Lovegood **masturbating** in one of the bathrooms."

Harry stared at her in shock. All of Julia's friends were giggling with her, much to Harry's dismay.

"You sure about that?" He had to be sure; otherwise it might ruin his plans.

"Dead sure, why?"

"None of your business, squirt." He ruffled her hair, much the same way Jonathan would, before he walked off.

Yes, that might do just fine in order to get Gin-Gin and Luna together. If the girl truly was an exhibitionist then that would be even better for his plans.

--

Without even noticing, Ginny walked into the dark room. The minute she entered, the lights turned.

Gasping, she turned around in wonder. Mesmerized by the dark light the candles supplied. Lightening the room with an eerily glow.

When the door slammed shut behind her, she jumped around and stared at the visitor already in the room.

"Hello, _Ginevra_. How are you?" Luna Lovegood asked airily with a smile on her face. "It seems that the nurgles have taken over my mind, for I wanted to come here as soon as I could."

Ginny grinned at the typical answer. "Oh yes, I thought they might have been wandering around."

Luna turned away and examined the room she was in. Besides the glowing candles, there was also a bed of roses on the floor, leading to a small area.

That area, both girls noticed, was made entirely out of fur and cushions. It looked quite comfortable.

"Shall we sit?" Luna asked as she held her hand out. Ginny frowned for a mere moment before she took it and led the other girl to the made-up bed.

As they sat there, Ginny noticed a note sticking to the wall next to them. Grabbing it, she couldn't decipher the writing.

"Luna, can you tell what this says?" She asked as she handed the letter over, her hand not letting go of the parchment.

"Well," Luna frowned as the second her hands touched the paper, the writing cleared.

_Luna and Ginny,_

_So sorry for locking you in._

_Well, not really._

_See, I have had this great idea and you two were an essential part of it._

_I gave you all you'll need. Though, I'm not an expert on dykes._

_It's about time though, don't you think?_

_Enjoy the evening._

_With love,_

_Your future-target-practice-dummy,_

_Harry Potter._

_P.s: Your clothes will disappear in three._

_-Two._

_-One._

--

Harry smirked when he heard the twin screams of surprise from beyond the locked door of an abandoned classroom.

"Thank you, Dobby. Remember, tell no one." The elf bobbed his head up and down in delight.

"Oh no, Harry Potter sir. Dobby is a good house elf, yes he is. And what Harry Potter sir wants, Harry Potter sir will get. Dobby keeps silence. Dobby is a good elf." His ears flopped around with the speed he talked.

"I know Dobby, thank you." The elf sobbed up. "Harry Potter sir is too kind to old Dobby." He sniffed and snapped his fingers, vanishing out of sight.

Harry chuckled again as he walked back to his room, maybe to do some homework to pass the time.

_Maybe I'll see Severus on the way. Though, if Draco's right_ (and Harry had to begrudgingly admit that Draco was right a lot now a days) _then maybe it's best if I stay away for now_.

Little did he know Severus Snape was already getting suspicious.

--

Ginny stared around in shock as she tried not to ogle Luna's breasts too much. But god, how could she not? They looked so **full**, a bit more then her hand could fill but that wasn't the problem, she thought.

Her body, Ginny continued, her body looked as though it was sculptured by one of the world's greatest artists. So full in all the right places, so delicious to the touch, or so she could imagine.

"God Luna, can you believe Harry and his nerve?" Ginny tried for some conversation as apparently Luna didn't seem to mind about her nakedness.

"He must have had a good reason." She spoke at last and Ginny blushed when she realized that the delay in answer was because Luna was checking her out too.

Slowly, trying not to blush like a virgin, she returned the gaze. Her eyes went from Luna's sparkling blue misty eyes to the full pouty lips, trailing downwards to the filled breasts with the dark nipples. Ginny shivered as her gaze found the perfect stomach before reaching to her secret garden or 'her downstairs' as she heard the boys call it.

It was shaved, allowing the full lips to be seen. Ginny had never seen such a beautiful sight.

"Want to touch?" Luna's voice broke her out of her thoughts and Ginny's eyes snapped up.

"W...what?" she gasped, wondering if she misheard.

Luna didn't answer. Instead she took the other girl's hand gently, and together they traced Luna's body.

From her neck, to her chest down to her pussy, Ginny growing wet by the second.

"Do you like it?"

Ginny decided that Luna's voice should be illegal. It usually was a mysterious whisper, but in an atmosphere such as this, Ginny shivered as the words came forth.

"God, yes." She breathed as her hand trailed the rest of the way down.

She whimpered when she felt the wetness on her fingers. Oh god, she liked it too.

"C…can I?" she gestured with her head and Luna smiled with a nod.

Ginny didn't waste a second as her mouth descended on the other's. This is what heaven probably tastes like, she thought as she drank the girl's essence from her mouth.

It wasn't like with Pansy where they kissed possessively and roughly. While great, Pansy's kiss appeared as if it missed something, which Luna had tons of.

"Oh god, please Luna." She broke off but Luna understood. Gently the blond girl took Ginny and laid her on the fur bed, kissing her way from her mouth to her neck.

Ginny moaned. "Don't stop." She begged as the girl sucked at a particular sensitive spot, under her ear.

"I won't." Luna murmured. "I wanted to do this for a long time." She admitted and Ginny gasped at the confession.

--54--54--3--

Severus Snape was to be found (not that he wanted to be) sitting at his office's desk, a glass of scotch in one hand while the other tapped a long feather quill against a single parchment.

He was staring at the list in front of his eyes, a list he himself had written down.

A very important list.

_Why Harry Potter should be watched._

He frowned as his eyes trailed all over the written reasons he wrote.

_Acts odd, stranger than usual._

_More confident, somehow. Up to something. _

_Is no longer with 'The Golden Trio' and befriends serpents._

_At the movie night, he acted strangely- the Weasley twins were much too friendly with him._

_Disappears on occasions to who knows where- haven't been able to follow. yet._

_Looks at me like a liquorish wand. _

_Calls me MASTER._

This were but a few of the main reasons, yet while Severus was perturbed, he had a feeling that it wasn't anything dangerous. Yet.

But still, best to keep an eye on the boy, just to be on the safe side. He quickly added another reason to the list.

--34--3-4-3

"Oh God, you're so good at this." Luna gasped out as her hands grabbed the hairs on the head between her thighs.

"Please. Faster." She breathed out as her hips snapped forward out of their own accord.

She heard a moan and looked down to see above the red-head eating her crotch that Ginny's hand had trailed down, touching her own pussy.

"Yes, just like that Gin." Luna shivered in delight as her own hand started pinching one of her nipples.

She arched up with a breathless moan. "Oh fuck, I'm so close." She sobbed out.

Ginny pulled her head up for a second. "Please Luna, come for me." She got back down, her tongue caressing the enlarged clit.

Hands shot once more to grab at her hair and Ginny picked up the pace after a small squeeze.

She licked around making sure to get inside as well, though, not reaching as far as she liked. She settled for sticking two fingers in, rubbing at her G-spot by the sound of Luna's gasp, whilst her tongue continued nibbling on the delicate bundle of nerves between her lips. Occasionally sucking it in her mouth.

"Oh...oh!" Luna gasped out as her hips buckled up for several seconds, riding her orgasm out as shivers run down her body.

"Oh yes, wow! Ginny you're the best." Luna spoke once she calmed down, and Ginny noticed that her voice didn't have the mysterious quality it had before. Though, it still aroused Ginny a lot.

"Thanks." The red grinned as her hands pulled out of Luna's hole. Both, the two girls noticed, were sticky with the girl's liquids. Ginny gave a deviant smirk before sticking the two digits in her mouth.

Luna gave a faint moan. "Taste good?" she wondered and Ginny hummed. She rose her other hand from her own mess and handed in over to Luna with a lidded gaze.

Luna took the hint and opened her mouth to accept the taste. A bit salty but otherwise completely delicious, sticking into your mouth in such a way that was so addicting and yet so forbidden and wrong.

"Did you really masturbate in the girl's bathroom?" Ginny asked once both girls calmed down.

Luna turned her luminous gaze at her companion. "Oh yes." She spoke earnestly. "I have wanted to do so at the time so I did. Why?"

Ginny flushed. "No reason." She paused. "Tell me when you're doing that next, 'kay?"

Luna smiled. "Of course Ginevra. But for now," she turned Ginny over. "My turn."

She got to work.

--

Harry shivered as he sat on his bed, feeling an incredible amount of delight coming from somewhere else.

He raised his hand to his twitching scar. Briefly, he caught sight of a dark, gloomy room, black robed servants and a skeletal figure sitting on a majestic seat.

_Something is stirring in the shadows_, Harry thought, _and it's coming closer every day_.

Harry frowned as he flopped backwards onto his bed. Damm it all, why the fuck couldn't Voldemort stay quiet, the year was going on fine but if the man was happy it defiantly wasn't good.

He shivered again as he remembered the last time the Dark Tosser was happy.

Christmas holidays, the death eaters killing a whole muggle school filled with kids from the ages 11 to 18. The only good thing that came out of it was that the school was Saint Brutus' Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys.

Harry remembered being surprised that the school actually existed before the shock settled in.

Well, what ever happens will happen and there is no point worrying about the what-will.

Tbc.

-d--di--dik--diki--dikic--dikica--DikiCat--

A/n: Well hello there! It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Well, we're here now. And we got you another chapter out! Finally.

It's been a very long month and a half. I (RockJunkie) wasn't home for all this time and DikiCat had to study a lot.

But enough about that!

We hope you liked it, and that you realized that yes, there IS a plot to this story. Though we DO really like PWP's. And sex one-shots, this one needs a little more laughs.

So how about it?

DikiCat: well, you had your fun now it's my turn…hmm well first get this- if some of you already know, DikiCat which is me (duh) has been studying electronics but what you didn't know is that the army pays for my school in return for a few more years. The good news are that well, the people in charge of my education offered me four more years of studying while they (the army) pays for it, and that means that I will have an even bigger and fuller education and a degree. How cool is that!!

Hmm something else, well you hopefully have seen my other stories (written under B2J) and if you haven't make sure you do after all it is Harry/Snape/Lucius and Harry/Snape on the other one.

RockJunkie: okay, stop publishing yourself.

DikiCat: jealous much?

RockJunkie: no way keep dreaming, I have three more one-shots coming out soon so ha! To you!!

DikiCat: that may be, but did you forget about the lovely Sirius/Snape/Harry fic I almost finished writing? Hmm oh yes that one was hot. And what about the one non-con of Sirius/Remus/Harry? Or maybe….

RockJunkie: (sticks out tongue) oh be quite.

DikiCat: real mature, took you ages to think about it probably. Anyway where was I? Oh right the Tom/Harry one which is a multi-chapter and will be published in two weeks or so.

But enough about me, let's talk about me.

I am sosososososo hot and I know it, RockJunkie knows it and frankly who doesn't?

Read review, read again and make sure to review.


	19. Glad you could come!

**Chapter 19: Glad you could come.**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

A/n: As you may, or may not know (or remember,) there is also a **side-story one-shot** to accompany our previous chapter, making it stand between chapters 17 and 18 in our story.

It's a PWP Twincast/Harry, and you better go read it. Now. Or… maybe after you read this. And review, of course. This and the other. It's called **'Gravity Games'**. You can hardly miss it.

Enjoy!

--memememememe--

Finishing his last scrap of homework for the while, Harry looked at his watch in surprise. Band practice start

s in 5 minutes.

He quickly got to his wardrobe and opened it. Staring at all of his neatly folded clothes, he frowned.

"I have nothing to wear!"

--5675675--

Four minutes later Harry was found running out of his room to the main muggle studies classroom.

If Harry thought that there would be at least 40 kids in the music program, he was mistaken. There were less then twenty. But that didn't stop them from staring at him as he walked through the door.

And why wouldn't they?

He would have stared at himself too_, Oh, wait, I did!_ He snickered mentally to himself as he remembered that two of the last four minutes were spent staring at himself in the mirror.

He was dressed in a simple white tank top (one which showed his muscles) and a pair of his oldest jeans. So old that they were ripped in so many places that you could clearly see his toned thighs and calves.

"Harry, glad you could come." A feminine voice was heard and Harry turned to look at Tonks with some surprise.

"Tonks? What are you doing here? I thought Lupin's the teach?"

Tonks laughed. "Remus? No way. The man can't carry a tune for his life." She gave a mischievous smile. "But me on the other hand…"

Harry grinned and played along. "Of course, how could I forget? Not only smart and beautiful but a musician as well."

Tonks nodded with a grin before taking his hand and spinning him around. Whistling, she remarked. "You look hot."

Harry blushed. "Thanks, you don't look half as bad yourself." He was right; Tonks was wearing a pink baby doll dress complete with matching white shoes, why she even made sure to combine her hair in the set, turning it long and snow-white.

She was receiving quite a lot of stares from the students, both jealous and lustful. But, Harry noticed, Tonks was oblivious to them all.

"Okay, so here's how it goes, you listen to everything I say and we'll get along fine, understood?" Everyone nodded and Tonks grinned.

"Great. Now, who plays what?"

"Granger?" Hermione smirked arrogantly. "I play the piano." Tonks nodded as she pointed to another student. "Weasley?"

"I love the drums." Harry snorted at that and Tonks picked him next. "Harry?"

He blushed, knowing that some wouldn't let him forget it. "I play the cello." And he was right; he could hear Draco chuckling from the other side of the room.

"Draco, Blaise, Pansy?"

"A violin." "Guitar." "A harp."

Tonks started at the last answer. "Really? Wow most can't do it at all, you must be good."

Pansy blushed at the complement.

Tonks went on about asking others about their instruments before she nodded. "Great, so we have the info and now all we need is the lesson plan." She went to her desk and started rummaging in the drawers. "Where is that thing? I know I have it here somewhere." She started throwing things around, and Harry grinned when Tonks through a dog collar at him absent mindedly.

"Ha! I knew Lupin was one kinky wolf!" Draco whispered in his ear and Harry started wondering how in the world the blond crossed the classroom so fast without Harry noticing it.

"So true." Harry eyed up the collar with a shudder. It was a simple black studded one and defiantly was for Sirius when he was out of his Animagus form due to the lack of hair residue not to mention the size.

_Hey, at least she didn't find a cock ring!_

"So, a cello, huh?" Draco whispered as he watched Tonks flipping her stuff around still trying to find the sheets.

"Your point?" Harry wasn't in the mood.

"Well, I think I can understand. You're not getting any, so you get something hard between your legs. But Potter, haven't you ever heard of sex toys?"

Harry glared even if he was a bit amused by Draco's wordings. "For your information I am playing the cello because I had a muggle teacher who didn't care about anything that spilled from my relatives' lips and taught me despite it all. Unfortunately once my cousin found out, the Dursleys stopped it, but she made it up by giving me fake detentions and teaching me then. Well she did until those too were canceled."

Harry couldn't see it but Draco was frowning (the boy stood behind him.) "Why did they do that?"

"They hated my guts, why wouldn't they?"

Tonks gave a sudden cry of excitement. "Ah ha!! I think I have it….wait, no, that's no it…what **is** this?" She flipped through the pages she found, her eyes widening (As did her smile) on every page she turned.

"Oh, I **knew** Remus loved reading but… seriously…." She giggled. "Can't believe old moony reads slash!"

Harry gasped in shock as he reached over and plucked the papers from Tonks' hands.

"Hey!" she cried out. "That's mine."

Harry raised a brow. "Sorry professor, but this is my godwolf things, so I think I'll be the one to keep-I mean give it back."

Tonks grinned at him. "Well, I'm sure he wouldn't be missing it now. So how about this, we both read it after Band and then make copies and give it back."

Harry grinned right back. "Kay."

"Excellent, now to find those papers…" She was about to dive right back into those drawers when pansy's hesitant voice stopped her.

"Hmm, professor? Aren't they on the table near the basket of apples?" Tonks stopped as she turned to look at said pages before grinning and whooping in delight. "Yep those are the ones, thanks darling." She winked at her and pansy blushed.

Draco made gagging sounds.

"Well here you go." Tonks handed the pages around and Harry noticed that they are music sheets. "This is what we will be playing for Halloween."

When she noticed the weird looks she got, she paused. "Oh shoot, I forgot Dumbledore didn't mention the dance yet."

"Dance?"

"Oops…"

"What do you mean, dance?"

"Hmm, well, its, like, well, a dance, you know? What's more to it?" Tonks shrugged in confusion, "but hey, you are going to play in it, and you know what else? You're not the only ones playing."

Most were intrigued, but Tonks just giggled and placed a finger on her mouth. "But I'm not telling!"

There were groans but Tonks ignored them. "Anyway, I want you to work on these sheets. So let's start practicing… Potter, get the cello, Granger, piano, the rest of you likewise, get your instruments."

Harry walked over to the wall where all the instruments lay, and picked the one that suited him the most. It was a big, dark red color with thick black strings that when Harry strummed one, it provided a low, deep note. Nodding in satisfaction, Harry took it with him.

As they all sat in their seats, Tonks took the conductor's place. Grinning from ear to ear, she raised her baton before speaking. "Okay, ready….three two one…"

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..bang, bang, BANG….meeeooowwww…..beep, beep….

It was a canopy of sounds, one didn't remotely match or sound the same and nothing played a tune right.

"ENOUGH!!" Tonks screamed, hands held to her head. "Okay, this is obviously not working. Hmm, you made me wonder, how many of you can actually read notes?"

About five had raised their hands; Ron Weasley was one of them. "Okay, well, we will work on you later. How about you'll sit this one out? -It wasn't a question." She added quickly when Ron opened his mouth to complain.

"Right. Harry, please play the notes in front of you."

He took the bow and played the beautiful sad melody written down in front of him. His heart connected to the music instantly. It seemed that those notes spoke to him, consoling and comforting him after all he had to go through. Spoke to his pain and gave him peace of mind. The deep base notes blended with his soul. He smiled.

"Well done, Harry, well **done**!" Tonks said amidst the clapping and cheering of the other students. "Now **this** will only be the base line of the whole masterpiece. Pansy- let's hear the harp, Shall we?"

And that's how they spent the next few hours, playing the same piece over and over from different instruments each time, making notes and suggestions. Those who couldn't read notes were told to stay after so they could learn, but everyone got the main feel of the piece and knew more or less what was expected of them.

"Don't forget to practice! The room will be open for you every day, right after lunch hour. Next week, we'll practice doing this together. See ya!"

The students hurried out, each talking about the lesson they just had.

"Well, Potter, you shocked me." Draco spoke as he looked at the boy-who-lived-to-annoy-his-godfather. "I really thought you would suck, what with your past experiences, but like I said, I'm surprised."

Harry snorted. "Likewise, Draco dearest. So where did you put Lyra?"

Draco grimaced.

"I was supposed to put her with the cat but a certain cousin of Blaise grabbed her and ran off before I had the chance."

Blaise snickered. "It's not like she would kill it."

Harry stared. "Last time she held her, Lyra was deprived of food."

Draco's eyes widened as he grabbed his best friend's and lover's shirt and pulled him close. "Bring her **back**, or you aren't getting any for a month."

Blaise gulped and nodded hurriedly. Harry raised a brow.

"I am not wasting my perfect grade and the prize on a crazy little girl who **so** needs to get a **life**." Draco huffed with a shake of his head.

"Rrrrright." Harry nodded and when Draco wasn't looking he put his finger to his head and gave the world-wide sign of '**crazy**!!'

Blaise nodded agreeably before freezing, wide eyed, when Draco turned to look at him once more. "What the hell are you still doing here!? Go!!" His lover didn't need to be told twice.

Harry frowned at the blond. "Tell me Draco, my dear, but in your relationship, who bottoms?" Draco flushed red and Harry had his answer.

"**Knew** it." The boy laughed as Tonks left the room.

"Wotcher Harry! Are you up for reading those fics?" She winked at him. Harry, after watching Draco's scolding face, hurriedly nodded.

"Great, let's go to my rooms, it's going to be so much fun!"

Harry raced along with her leaving Draco standing in the corridor.

--/--5656--\\--

About two and a half hours of lots of giggling and merciless teasing later, in which Harry desperately wished he was alone or in the company of a guy version of Tonks, the raven hair boy walked down the corridor leading to the stairs, flushed and glazed eyed as ever.

_Maybe I should give that useful room another go... get weightless again-_

"Potter!" Harry froze when he heard that voice. Great what did he do now?

Severus Snape stalked towards him, eyes narrowed and cloak billowing behind him (A/n: a sight for sore eyes… like you wouldn't want him coming for you…) and Harry wished he had come while in Tonks' room and not waited 'till he got to his.

"Yes mas-err…professor?" Harry was glad he retreated quickly once remembering Draco's warning.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" It obviously wasn't what he wanted to say, but Harry didn't dare question him.

"Ummm… reading? I was reading with Tonks." Harry wondered why he was scared of admitting that.

"I see, and while you suddenly possessing enough sense to actually work your mind is quite a commendable feat, it is still no reason for you to be wondering the corridors after curfew."

Harry stared before his mind comprehended the words, (he had to ignore the deep low voice that defiantly didn't help relieve him,) before his eyes widened as he took a look at his watch.

"Fuck." Harry cursed quietly when he saw that it was an hour after curfew. "We didn't mind the time, sir." Harry winched.

"Does it **look** like I care for your pathetic excuses?" Harry didn't bother answering. "Detention and ten points from Gryffindor, Potter."

The boy nodded, hoping he could get away.

"Potter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Can you say 'master' one more time?" Harry froze eyes wide.

"What?"

"Did I stutter? Say it."

"Master?" Harry squeaked and the man glared.

"Speak clearly, you wretched boy."

Harry bit his lip. "Ummm…Mas-Master?" The voice was still a bit high and it was obvious that Snape noticed.

"I will not repeat myself, Potter. Say it."

Harry sighed and lowered his head. "Master." He whispered, dejected.

Snape narrowed his eyes and started at the teen calculatedly. "Very well, dismissed. And don't let me catch you here again."

Harry didn't stick around.

He ran as fast as he could till he was a full two stories up and even then he had to enter the boy's bathroom, as scared as he was to not being caught.

Groaning, Harry stared at the mirror hanging on the wall.

_Great, Pothead, look what you did; now he would never want you, stupid slut._

He could feel tears in his eyes from his thoughts but hastily wiped them away.

_No, Severus didn't look disgusted, from what the twins said, he was licking his lips just from watching my body, just from watching me fuck._

A small smile broke free. The angst ridden thoughts vanished, and his mind filled with thoughts of his Severus and him naked.

Unbidden, the memories of the talk earlier came up and Harry groaned at being so close to his love without doing a thing, being so close while so hard.

His hand trailed down and Harry moaned silently when he felt himself leaking.

Biting his lip, the boy thought of the story he read with Tonks in her room. The various scenes came up in his mind as he lightly stroked himself under his jeans.

….Your mine Oliver, and I will play with you as I see fit…

The dance of naked bodies all moving together in a rhythm amazed him as the slave looked around in wonderment, hoping his master will enjoy and use him like all the rest.

…oh please master; I'll be your obedient pet…

It honestly didn't faze Harry in the least that the fics Remus was reading were BDSM ones- master slave ones. He certainty wouldn't complain about it, even if the thought of his godfather tied up and collared at Remus' feet was odd.

Hmm, strike that, that picture was **hot**, especially if Harry could do the same with his own master.

…take it all in pet, you know you want to…don't you want to make your master happy?

Oh, Harry would give **anything** to be in that position, making his master Severus happy and pleased with him.

"Oooh master…" Harry hissed out as his strokes evened out, the rhythm settled. He bit his lip when his thumb brushed his head and rubbed the pre-cum around.

Harry groaned in frustration when his pants got in the way and constricted him when he tried to fasten his strokes. With a hurried huff, he quickly opened the zipper and let them pull at his feet, liking the feeling of being almost tied down.

…Master, please….

Harry gasped as he raised a finger to his mouth; needing at least that in his ass if he couldn't get anything else.

….open wide…I'll take you so hard, you'll ache for a week, pet…but you'll love it…I know I will…

"Ohh, please." Harry moaned, not bothering to hush his cries, only caring about his up-coming release.

He didn't hear the steps which stopped outside the door, didn't even notice the moans and gasps he produced, only wanting his finger in his ass and his cum covering his hand.

"Master." He breathed out, feeling his balls tightening, the sudden head rush, the way he felt lightness and warmness spreading from his feet to his cock.

"Oh fuck me, please." His finger was stroking his sweet spot while his other hand grabbed hard at his head.

He was close, oh so close and right before he came, he thought of another part in the story.

…take me, play with your toy, master….need you so much…please…

Harry opened his eyes and watched his reflection staring right back at him. His face was flushed, eyes lidded, mouth red and open.

Perfection, the twins would call him.

Debauched, Jonathan would say.

Sated was more the way Harry thought it, but hey, the rest worked too.

Slowly, unbelieving he was doing this, he rose the cum-covered hand to his mouth, gently sucking each digit, cleaning himself thoroughly.

When he finished, he washed his hands, knowing that now was the time to return to his room.

Fate didn't agree.

Opening the door, Harry froze when he bumped into a hard body.

A hard **male** body.

"Oh for fuck's sake. Again? Please no." He thought to himself before he heard the snort which told him that he spoke out loud.

"Didn't I tell you to go to your room straight away?" The voice sent shivers running down his spine and Harry thought that if he kept this up, he was going to suffer another problem.

"I needed to use the bathroom." Harry found himself saying.

"Oh?" A raised of a perfectly shaped brow- _Is anything not perfect with the man_?

"Hmm, yes?" It was more of a question but Snape didn't care.

"Tell me Potter, why should I believe you?"

"Because it's the truth!"

"Really? You expect me to believe it took you **half an hour** to listen to nature's call?"

Harry flushed at the wording and Snape continued.

"Now, I want a truthful answer. What were you doing instead of going to your room like I specifically said?"

"I…" _I got so hard while reading some porn and then you got me leaking at the middle of the corridor so I had to fix it._ "…Ummm."

"I see." Snape stared at him the same way as before; calculatedly, assessing. "Two week of detention, Potter."

"What? Why?" Harry cried out and Snape snorted.

"Wandering after curfew, what else?"

"But that's not fair!"

"Shall we make it three?"

Harry backed down. "Fine sir, can I go now?"

The potion master nodded and Harry hurried away. "Oh, Potter?"

He froze, turning around. "Yes?"

"Your fly is open." Harry stared, looked down, and flushed red before he ran the hell away.

The last thing he heard was Snape docking ten points for running in the halls.

Tbc.

--/677676\\--

A/n: Hey what's up? Besides the ceiling or the lamp or the sky, oh do shut up! This is DikiCat speaking (writing) and I came here to tell you a massage; I come in peace. Get it, come in peace? Oh why do I bother?

Dido my love or your RockJunkie if you must, published a nice little not-so-innocent story about the twins and Harry getting it on. It's an accompanying piece to our previous chapters and let me tell you, it's hot!!

Anyhow, me thinks that now after you review, you should read that one and review it too. It deserves it!!

Now don't call me mad but DikiCat (your one and only) is perhaps joining another four more years at school for free so she could get her degree and not just a stupid diploma.

Hmm, okay important things next… hmm, what were they?

RockJunkie: you're an idiot-

DikiCat: -Tell me something I don't know.

RockJunkie: A whale's cock is several meters long. Isn't that nice? Now where was I? Right, school. School is boring, I hate it. What else?

Hmm, weird I think that's it. Are we sick or something?

DikiCat: (bouncing up and down) Tell them it's over. I want to write some more!!

RockJunkie: (rolls her eyes) Till next time, folks…


	20. A serious overdue talk

**Chapter 20:** **a serious overdue talk.**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

_'Your fly is open.' Jeez, even at ' full snarky bastered' mode, he's a fucking__** tease**__. _

Harry was on his bed, in the middle of the night, face flaming red.

_What was he doing outside the boy's bathroom, anyway? He was supposed to patrol some more. _

His eyes widened from his own thoughts.

_Was Snape- waiting for me? Then that must mean- he heard. Everything. Oh god. What will he think now? _He sighed._ So much for keeping things quite. _

_And he'll __**know.**__ He made me say master and he heard me in the bathroom and he'll probably figure it out any second now and then it's all over and I'm __**doomed**__. I'm so __**fucked**__. _

Harry had no idea how, but eventually, he fell asleep.

=-=-=%^&R_O_C_K%^$J_U_N_K_I_E&*&$%=-=-=-=

Sunday morning dawned bright and peaceful. Not that Harry cared. He planned on staying in bed as much as possible.

Facing the day? Why should he? Nothing good will come out of it. No school, no Snape (not that he's **that** exited about meeting him again so soon), no baby nightmare chore (Draco has her), and no fucking reason to get out. He figured he'd just stay here and sulk.

His plans however were cut short. Ginny suddenly barged in through the door with a loud bang. Three floors down, everyone could hear a very high pitched girly screech of terror.

Harry had hid himself behind his bed. "Ahhhhhhh!!!!! Please don't kill me!" He shouted in a not so masculine way.

Ginny paused with a roll of her eyes. "Jeez, relax! I'm not going to kill you- well not now at least." She smirked evilly. "Now get up from there."

Harry stared as he bit his lip. "Are you sure it's safe? What if it's a trap?"

Ginny sighed. "Two things, Harry- If it was a trap, I wouldn't tell you."

Harry raised a brow. "And the second thing?"

The girl shrugged. "Just thinking that if you're the world's hope then we're doomed."

The boy-who-lived stood up. "Oh, ha ha. Really witty." He sat back down on his bed. "Now why are you here if not to kill me?"

The reply was a squeal from the girl, who couldn't help but smile widely. "Oh I wanted to thank you for locking me in with Luna. It was the best thing you have ever done for me." She raced over and gave him a hug.

Harry stared in bemusement. "Why? Did you two fuck or something?"

The girl giggled as she broke off and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Oh yes! And it was so amazing." She lay down beside him. "She was so gentle yet strong at the same time."

Harry grinned. "I had a feeling it would go down this way."

"How did you know about Luna anyway?" Ginny inquired.

"I heard a lovely rumor about her and well, it made me think."

The red head frowned. "You mean you didn't even know for sure that she was gay? You just thought!?"

Harry chuckled and nodded. "Yep. But hey, it worked, didn't it?"

Ginny's answer was a pillow to his head. "You idiot! What if it wouldn't have worked? What then, genius? You stuck two naked girls together in the hope that the other is gay."

Harry rolled his eyes. "As a gay boy, I can tell if someone else is gay. It's called '**Gaydar'**, my love. You being too fresh to this thing is no reason you shouldn't have one. Besides, I think Luna is odd enough that even if she wasn't gay, she would have wanted to experiment." He winked at the girl.

It was Ginny's turn to roll her eyes. "Still an idiot Potter-" he cut her off.

"Besides you do realize that even **then** you didn't have to sleep with her, you could have said it was a stupid prank I pulled or something."

Ginny flushed an unbecoming shade of red. "Oh, never thought of that." she mumbled.

"Well," Harry said dejectedly, "at least you had fun. I…well I had fun, but I think I screwed up somewhere."

"Don't you mean someone?"

"No, I wish though. We just finished shooting a movie so it would be a while, but maybe I could go over to that store? Hmm, I really would like to see what they are offering…" he contemplated to himself.

"Harry?" Ginny frowned when the boy didn't move. "Harry!"

"What?"

A cuff on his head made him remember. "Oh right. Well, I think Snape knows."

"What!??"

Harry told her what happened. To say that Ginny was unsympathetic was an understatement. She fell off the bed in her fit of laughter and didn't look as if she would stop anytime soon.

"Thank you for being so supportive, Gin." Harry grumbled.

The girl giggled. "Sorry, but come** on**, if it would have happened to anyone else

You would be laughing your head off as well."

Harry would have agreed with her if it wasn't for the fact that it** did** happen to him.

"Well, you do realize something, don't you? He heard you." Ginny gushed out and Harry shook his head. "That's what I'm worried about, because if he knows then he would tell Dumbledore and you know what that means."

Ginny nodded before perking out. "But didn't the twins say he doesn't care? After all, he was licking his lips at your acting. Maybe he'll make his move now!"

Harry stared. "Maybe but I think that's really unlikely-"

"-No, think about it. He knows what you do now so maybe he wants to find out more-"

"-Not what I want. I want him to like **me**, not just Lilo, or the Famous Harry Potter…"

"Stop interrupting! I meant that he would want to find out more about you so he could have a relationship with you."

_It was possible, but than again it __**is**__ Snape we're talking about._

"But even then, you should be careful, because while he may want to have something with you, he might say something unawares to the old fool and then bye-bye happy freedom."

"You're still not helping."

"Well how about this…" She rummaged in her pockets, before pulling a small glass bottle.

"I got this from Fred and George last time I was in their shop."

"What is it?" Harry took the bottle from her hands. It was small, and the liquid inside was a glowing purple shade of blue.

Ginny smiled. "It's one of the twin's latest inventions. Remember they told you they were working on the whole mind altering potions? Well this is something of that nature, except more vivid."

Curious, Harry gestured for her to continue. "See, this is like the regular daydream potions but with an extra special twist. It not only gives you the daydream, it can make you feel the sensations that go along with it."

Harry nodded, completely impressed. "But how will that help?"

"I'm getting there. See, this is so unique and expensive because you can also control what the dream will be about-"

"What? How?"

The red head explained more. "You put a piece of hair from the one you want the daydream to be about, except if you can't get it then you have to write the name of that someone. Of course the potion will only work if and **only** if the one drinking it has any feelings such as lust, love with the subject of the daydream."

Harry stared at the bottle once more. Could it truly be? It would be quite hard to slip it into Snape's drink but if he would manage it then it would be the greatest thing ever. The ultimate test. "Say, what other ways do you have to control the fantasy?"

Ginny frowned. "Hmm, besides the subject I think you can choose the start scene, you know if you want to get some sex on the kitchen table or something. You have to write that down and after you mix it in with the potion it will work."

Again Harry nodded. "The twins are geniuses."

Ginny nodded in agreement. "True, they only sell these things to those who reached over the age of sixteen which is after all the legal age to have sex in the Wizarding world."

"But if you can write the name of the person down, why use the hair? And how do you know if it worked? You know, if he drank it?"

"Using the hair is more specific and stronger; it enhances the sensations and eliminates same-name confusion like in that anime you showed me once-" She tried to remember the name. "'Death Note'? If you write the name you must also think strongly of that person's appearance so that other people with the same name will not be affected. Also, using the hair lets the subject of the fantasy know that the potion is being used with him as inspiration. It sends out a wave of relaxing magic which centers on your stomach and tingles or something like that."

"Wow. Looks like the twins really put a lot of thought into this. Are you sure they only have three OWLs each?"

"Yeah…. they're just too lazy to do any more."

Suddenly something buzzed very loudly from within Ginny's robes.

"What the-!? Don't tell me you walk around with those- I mean, you dikes can be kinky but **jeez**-!"

She cut him off.

"Relax! It's only my wand telling me it's time to go. I'm sneaking out to meet Luna in the ROR. We think we're gonna turn serious…"

"Well, have fun. And remember; NEVER underestimate the power of magical rooms!"

She left.

And a second later, Draco Malfoy appeared with a sleeping Lyra in his hands.

He stopped in front of the bed, his eyebrows arched and his eyes leering downwards.

Harry looked down.

"Draco!" He jumped up when he realized he was naked….wait, naked!? "Shit!! Ginny saw me naked!!!" He yelled in surprise. He didn't even think about his state of undress when Ginny barged in.

_Why didn't I feel self conscious when Ginny was here? Why is Draco any different? _

Draco stared at him up and down again, getting a better look, as he placed the now awake Lyra on the bed. "Well, it's not like anyone hasn't seen you butt naked already….and more." He gave his trademark smirk at him, filled with tongue-in-cheek expression.

(A/n: guess who we're thinking about?)

"Of course I do wonder why in the world you even bothered to hide that body away. But I guess I forgot that I am talking to a clueless Gryffindor that if I didn't know any better I would say was a virgin."

Harry glared as he tightened the sheet around him even more.

"Now why don't you get dressed?" Draco questioned, at last (after having his fill) averting his eyes.

"I can't."

Draco frowned, "Can't, why?"

Harry blushed. "It's just…well, it's Lyra."

The blond stared. "What? The baby? Why?"

Harry bit his lip. "She keeps on staring, it's creepy." He shrugged.

"It's a plastic, unreal toy. Not worth being bothered by it."

"Well I feel so weird about it, considering that not only is she blinking as if she is real, but well; do you think they check the babies at the end by reading their mind?"

Draco scoffed. "If that was so then the baby is already scarred for life considering that it saw both me and Blaise fuck as well as pansy masturbating. Frankly I'm also scarred by the last." He muttered, inducing a shudder in Harry as well.

"Pansy? Wait you know what, I don't want to know. And don't touch my toys!" he called out as he headed for a shower and a change of clothes. "And don't think of coming on my couch!"

##$#$#$#$#$#Happy-=-fucking-=-Halloween%^%%^%

When Harry returned from the shower, it was to see Draco lying on his bed doing nothing, while Lyra was painting the walls with a brush.

Absently wondering where she got it and how she could do that, Harry turned to Draco.

"So why are you here? You dumped the kid, you can leave now."

Draco stood up, stretched languidly and turned to the door. "Well, I was about to tell you something on the strange behavior of my godfather, but with **that **attitude…"

"No! Wait. Tell me!" Harry demanded roughly, grabbing Draco's arm to stop him from moving anywhere.

"What will you do in return?"

"What? You can't just demand things because you're a gossip!"

"Can and I am…and I'm not a gossip, I just like to be up to beat on today's news."

"Well, Draco dearest, in case you forgot, you owe me for getting you and Blaise together!" Harry cried out in triumph.

Draco frowned for only a second as he tried to remember. "But you also owe me for keeping your secret from Severus in the first place, so we're square."

Harry shook his head with a smirk that Draco thought shouldn't look that good on him. "True, but you forgot you took the cloak from me, so that's favor returned."

"Fine," the boy glared. "I'll tell you."

"Well?"

"Beg first and then."

"Draco…" he growled and Draco decided to hurry up and tell him."Fine, I just saw Snape at lunch-"

"Lunch??"

"Yeah, sleepy head. You missed lunch. Anyway, my dear godfather was acting completely weird all through the meal; he actually inquired about your presence!"

"He did?"

"Hmm, yes. Don't worry about it; I'm sure it's nothing."

"Did he do anything else?"

"One would think, Snape asking about you would be weird enough but yeah, he also stared at the Gryffindor table and kept writing some things down as if he was going to post a complaint or something, what with the way he was frowning… And oh! I forgot to tell you, Dumbledore requested everyone from fifth years to seventh year boys to report to the great hall after dinner while the girls report to the old transfiguration class, something about a serious overdue talk."

"Hmm, wonder what that's about?"

"Fuck me if I care." Draco walked to the door. "See you later, Pothead."

Harry frowned.

"Bye ferret."

$%$%$%$%$=-=-Diki-=-is=-=-19=-=-=$%$%$$%

_Oh, you have __**got**__ to be kidding me…._

Harry stared in horror at the newly redecorated great hall. The tables were gone, filled instead with benches and scattered chairs, where the students were expected to sit. If that didn't help the foreboding feeling he got then the giant pictures of the male anatomy certainly did.

_Never in my life had I hoped I was wrong….well there was that one time….not the time, Potter!_

"Settle down, everyone, settle down." Remus spoke softly, his amplified voice wafting over the students trickling into the chairs.

Harry took a seat in the middle, keeping company with Blaise and Draco while watching the two teachers on the raised platform with narrowed eyes.

"Please tell me I'm imagining things and they're not really going to give us **the talk**." Draco whispered. Far be it for someone to hear him panicking.

"Afraid so Draco, I had suspected this ever since we got the muggle studies schedule."

"Dammit, it was awkward enough when my father made me listen to him and I never hoped to repeat it."

Blaise near him shuddered in agreement.

"Getting the talk from Lucius… I'd love to hear that." Harry snorted, wondering how that went.

"Okay everyone settle down." Remus called out once more but considering everyone understood the reason they were gathered in the hall, they weren't cooperating nicely.

Snape took matters into his own hand. "Take your seats or I'll start handing out detentions!" In a matter of two minutes, everyone was seated.

"As you all have gathered, we are here to give you the most overdue talk in your school years. The 'sex talk'." Everyone gasped.

_Like no one here ever heard of sex before. Puh-lease._ Harry thought, a bit annoyed.

"As Dumbledore claims he is too busy for this-"

Everyone could hear Remus muttering "Like hell he is" under his breath.

"Professor Lupin and I, as the only human male teachers on staff, are being forced to give you this talk."

Remus nodded as he heard the groans from all over the hall. "Trust us, there are other things we'd rather do."

Snape glared at anyone as he tapped a blackboard with a long stick. The empty black board changed to view a sketch of a woman's vagina.

Everyone either gasped, screamed or covered their eyes in the case of the more embarrassed boys.

As for Harry, well he thought that if he had to watch something like that then it would ruin him more than everything else he went through in his life.

He figured that people thinking he was respectful to all women wouldn't be so bad.

"Quiet down!" Snape rapped the stick hard against the blackboard. "Alright listen up you little hormone raged imbeciles. This, as some of you have guessed, is a woman's vagina." He almost broke off due to giggling but to his credit, he ignored them and carried on.

"Let me say this in a language you can understand. Eventually, after a lot of time wasting pain and suffering, **this**," He tapped the bored with his stick again, and the picture of a man's cock appeared, "which I'm sure you all recognize, will be going into **this**," He tapped a third time and the vagina returned. Some of the boys ooed and aahed.

Remus interfered before it got out of hand.

"It, uh, has a bit more to it, but that is the main goal here. There are delicacies and subtle ways of doing this, and there are the rather straight forward. You will eventually learn what they are and when to use them by your own experience, over time. But that's not what we are here to talk to you about. We are here to explain the mechanics of the human male and female anatomy, with an emphasis on the male's role during and after sex. Any questions?"

The room remained quite.

"Good. Now…"

Remus and Snape explained, in their way, about how to have sex, with the heavy aid of the pictures on the blackboard and whole hearted recommendations to ask their parents later.

"Now, listen here you disgusting little imbeciles, now I am aware that you probably have already reached puberty so I am **not** going to start talking about the changes your body goes through, ask madam Pomfrey for that. But we are unfortunately going to talk about the certain fluids your body produces." He trailed off and by his disgusted expression you could easily tell he really didn't want to talk about **that**.

Remus nodded as if in agreement with Snape's unsaid words. "Now there comes a time in every boy's life that when he reaches puberty sperm comes out when he orgasms." He ignored the giggles. "It usually happens after one is having wet dreams or if you want to simplify it, sexual dreams."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose when laughter broke out even more. "Now after sex dreams when you wake up-"

Harry couldn't control himself anymore, hearing such words spilling from Severus' lips, well, it had its problems. Unfortunately, his shock transformed into almost hysterical laughter, or to be more specific-giggles.

"God dam- Potter! Come up here right now!"

Shocked and a bit perplexed, Harry followed the order feeling everyone's eyes on him as he took the steps necessary to go on that stage.

"Severus?" Remus asked but Snape ignored him.

Looking down at the tense boy-who-lived, Severus wondered what exactly he was doing, but no matter, it would still humiliate the boy.

"Perhaps Potter, since you don't seem to find this very interesting, perhaps you could tell everyone what happens after a wet dream?"

Harry stared as he felt himself flush. "Hmm, what do you mean?"

"Are you that much of an ignorant dunderhead? I doubt it's that hard to understand as I was talking in English but now I stand corrected, you truly have proven to me that there is such a thing as being too stupid to follow simple words."

Harry glared, hating the man he loved and wondering if he was a bit of a masochist for loving someone who was hurting him.

"Fine. I'll explain it; just…just give me a moment will ya?"

He took a deep breath, _must be crazy for doing this but no way am I backing out_. "When you have a dream, a wet one, you get hard." He paused when he heard snorts of laughter and other things.

Groaning, annoyed and embarrassed, Harry closed his eyes, trying to imagine himself alone. He breathed in, mind slowly relaxing as he remembered the last dream he had and what followed after.

"You get hard, so very hard and you almost always wake up before you come and you want to so very much. When you wake up it's like you're still dazed about what happened, wondering how or why. But then you notice **it**, your body's reaction to the dream and no matter what you tell yourself you can't ignore it, you need to fix this problem. So you reach down." He took another deep breath, not noticing the quiet or the sudden curiosity everyone expressed.

"You grasp yourself, not in the mood for foreplay. And god…" He gave a low moan "you're so hard and your hand feels so good wrapped around yourself. So warm, but it's not enough, so you start moving it. You take long, even strokes and moan at the friction you produce." Harry hardly noticed that his hand went down and he was rubbing himself at his words.

"You're so hard and you want to come so badly so you remember your dream, the reason you're like this in the first place. And you're suddenly bombard with memories; the face, the body, what you did and how it felt so good. It was perfect and then…then you reach the peak. You come gasping his name and feeling so dirty but oh so wonderful at the same time. Perfection achieved."

"Okay, Potter, that's enough." Snape cut him off and Harry opened his eyes as his hand immediately moved away from its previous place.

Wide eyes, he gave a rueful smile at his professor. "Well that's pretty much what happens after such a dream."

Remus cleared his throat. "Yes, well, if you would kindly return to your seat we can finish quickly and go back to our semi-normal lifestyles."

It went quickly right after, making Harry wonder at the fact that no one interrupted like before-he chucked it up to wanting to get out of the hall as fast as possible.

After two minutes of wrapping the whole conversation into a few simple sentences, all were finally allowed to leave and as they left, Harry hoped that no one realized his slip up.

Luckily for him, only one realized it as he slowly added it to his long list.

=-=^^^-=-=^^^^-=-=^^^^^-=-=-=-=-

Harry bit his lip as he sat in his room, hugging his pillow. "I am **so** stupid." He couldn't believe what he did in front of Severus; touching himself, talking about what he did after his dreams even if the man told him to explain.

"I shouldn't have said it like that, I should have said something different, not that." He buried his head in his pillow.

"Oh, this is ridicules." He muttered as he stood up, dropping the pillow back on his bed. "I need to stop thinking about him." He shook his head. "And stop talking to myself out loud."

He bit his lip as he wondered what to do.

He needs to calm down. Let his mind wander and float.

_I need some music._ He thought to himself. He then took Lyra and left.

=-#=-#=so-=-obsessed-#=-#=-#=-

He just got down the stairs when he realized that he can't play the cello and look after the baby at the same time, so he stopped for a second to think who he could threaten… uh, blackmail- uh, **ask** to baby-sit Lyra for him.

"Heya! Harry!!"

"Hi Colin…" Harry said unenthusiastically, still trying to think of baby-sitting candidates.

"What are you doing now? Do you want to hang out? If not, can I help with anything? Your homework? You know I've been studying really hard so maybe I could help if you are a bit behind-"

"No, Colin, I'm okay."

"Oh." He looked a bit down.

Harry frowned before widening his eyes as he noticed the perfect candidate. "Hey, Colin? I think I found a way for you to help me."

Colin perked up, raising his head up and Harry saw hope shining from his eyes.

"Really? I mean you think **I** could help **you**? Oh, that's brilliant. What do you want me to do? Do you want homework help? Maybe shine your shoes and fold your clothes? Because I'm really goo-"

"Colin! Chill." The boy blushed and Harry continued. "I need you to take care of this for me." He raised Lyra by the scruff of her shirt.

Colin frowned, confused. "You want me to throw it to the garbage?"

Harry raised an eyebrow before remembering that Colin is a muggleborn wizard." No! God no. I want you to baby-sit her."

Colin's eyes widen as he accepted the baby from his idol. "Really!!!?" he squeaked and Harry nodded, feeling as if he sold his soul to the devil.

"Hmm, yes. I really can't take her with me so you'll be doing me a huge favor."

"I'd love to Harry." He cooed at the baby. "Hmm, what's her name?"

"Lyra Serpens Malfoy-potter."

"Wow, that's a mouthful!"

Harry chuckled, "so I've heard. Later Colin."

As he left the common room Harry was disturbed to hear 'rock-a-my baby on the tree top when the wind blows the cradle will rock…' sang by his number-one fan.

=-=--=-=-yummy=-puppy=-=-love

As Harry approached the music room section of the muggle studies wing, he started hearing sounds that **definitely** weren't music notes. He came closer. The door was agar- _Of course the door's half open, _Harry thought gruffly, _that's how all the peeping-tom porn scenes happen these days. _

He opened the door quietly and had a look inside.

Remus was bent over the open piano, his hands smashing the keys at every heated thrust from Sirius. It sounded awful.

_Tonks was right,_ Harry thought as he tried not to laugh, _Remus really __**can't**__ hold a tune to save his life._

As quietly as he could, he left the room and closed the door behind him, also setting a silencing charm for good measure.

Leaning on the doorframe, Harry closed his eyes, half imagining what's still happening behind the door.

_Why am I busy with everybody's sex life except my own?? _

He sighed as he opened his eyes, coming to a resolution.

_I need to get laid. Preferably sooner then later. I wonder when Jonathan'll -_

"Mr. Potter," A voice took him out of his musings. He looked up and saw that it was professor McGonagall. "May I please enter? I need to see Professor Lupin."

"He's not here right now." Harry blurted before he could think of anything better to say.

"But I have just finished speaking with Professor Snape, and he assured me Professor Lupin will be here for the afternoon."

"Ummm… he's… uh…. really busy…" Harry said nervously, looking around him for inspiration to find a way to keep McGonagall from entering desperately.

She raised her eyebrows.

"Is the door locked?"

"Yes…"

"And…" she said, "Mr. Black wouldn't by chance be in there with him, would he?"

"Uh… yes…"

"So they are in there together, the door is locked, and he is busy."

"Yes." Harry answered, a bit flustered.

She smiled slightly, her eyes shining mischievously.

"I'll come back later."

She turned around and left and Harry stood there to look at her retreating back incredulously.

Tbc.

-=-=-=565-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A/n: okay it's your one and only DikiCat here and she…I bring news.

Guess what??? No...Not that either…maybe that (winks)…you can't guess? Alright I'll tell you. I am nineteen since last week, how about that? Send me a birthday cake will ya? And presents!!! I'm like a total adult write now (twirls hair and talk in a whorish voice) joking, I'm not like that- I'm way weirder-

Rock_Junkie: I think they might have noticed, what with you annoying them every episode.

DikiCat: (huffs) so not true, I'm a good cat. Not a mean one.

Rock_Junkie rolls her eyes.

DikiCat: anyway, I also had my test the other day sadly no A+ but rather an A (sniffs). Weirdly enough, last year's test in electricity made me frown. For some reason I was the only one upgraded…something about the two examiners being too indecisive about my score…assholes.

Rock_Junkie: you won't fail, if that's what you're wondering!

DikiCat: maybe, let's hope. Hmm, more news…well daddy's birthday was four days before mine and he is now only starting his 58th year, give him a hug and a birthday-wish.

Further more, I might publish a real book! Yes, I am also quite shocked that from pure porn I'll write something with a plot…but hey wish me luck.

Do you have anymore news, my little rock star?

Rock_Junkie: I'm going to sleep over at my almost-sorta-like boyfriend's house!

DikiCat cuts in: I must remind you again to not do anything that I will.

Rock_Junkie: so I've heard… we'll go see a movie and… stuff… *blushes*. I think that's about it.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DikiCat: I forgot!! (Smacks head in a cartoon'ish manner) I wanted to yell at you all for not reading **Gravity Games** by Rock_Junkie. How could you???? It's like the hottest thing ever…Harry/Fred/George all together in a magical room…(sighs) so hot but no one reviews….(narrows eyes) why? Read it or I'll kill you…NOW!!!!


	21. There's a cooking section?

**Chapter 21: There's a cooking section!?**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

Harry sighed as he wandered around the halls.

_God, I'm so bored. I could have enjoyed some music, but __**nooo**__... Sirius and Remus __**had**__ to go and have sex in the middle of the music room._ He sighed._ Wish there was something here to do…_

As if someone heard his pray, footsteps sounded close by.

"Hey Harry, what're you doing here?" Harry turned to see Ginny walking over, all flushed and bright.

"What's up, Gin? Had fun?" He grinned at her but it looked a bit forced and Ginny immediately noticed.

"What's wrong? You're looking a bit down." The red head frowned as she took in his stressed appearance.

"Nothing, I suppose,"

Ginny didn't look convinced so he nodded. "You're right; it's just that I feel all weird like I need to do something and yet I can't. I thought about music but Remus and Sirius are busy there… and while hot, I just **can't** watch…well, I **would** have but McGonagall interrupted my daydream about them and it kinda deflated me big time…" he trailed off when he saw Ginny's raised brow. "Sorry, I'm babbling."

"It's cool, relax." She frowned as she took in his problems. "So if you feel too stressed, why don't you go and get laid? It always works for me."

Harry frowned, _never thought about that_. He shook his head. "I can't, sneaking out for one of Lilo's movies is okay but just for sex? I'll get caught."

The red haired girl rolled her eyes. "Where's your Gryffindor sense of fun? Or Slytherin cunningness? The ROR is always useful- I should know- and you have the map, so no one is going to follow you. Just go, I'll cover for you."

Harry stared. "Really? Just like that?"

Ginny snorted. "Of course not! You need to get dressed first!" Harry looked at what he had on; just a regular school robe and he had to admit it was somewhat conspicuous.

"Well, what am I supposed to wear?"

It seemed to be the answer Ginny was looking forward to. Grabbing his arm, she dragged him all the way to his room where she went on about stripping him and dressing him up.

As he tried out his clothes, Ginny read the magazine 'some like it hot- I like it burning' while sitting on his bed, occasionally looking up and declaring the outfit unfit.

"So Harry, did you really touch yourself in front of all the senior years?" Ginny asked, eyes still not moving from her page.

Harry blushed. "Didn't mean to!" Ginny snorted and he explained. "See, there I was all innocent and all and then Severus tells me to come up to the stage and tell everyone what I do after a wet dream." He groaned as he zipped his black jeans up. "God, his voice was low and hot and trust me I almost came just from its sound. But hearing him talk about my dreams, dreams that are mostly about him…I couldn't help myself." He whined and Ginny snorted once again.

"You **really** need to get laid." (a/n: or so our readers and muse keeps telling us.)

Harry flopped on the bed next to her, shirt still held in his hand. "I know! But the time and everything…maybe I should go, if only for the sake of fresh air."

Ginny nodded. "Harry? How do you give the perfect blowjob?" The boy cocked his head in surprise.

"Huh?"

She showed him the rag. "See it says here that the more you use your tongue the better it is, is that true?"

Harry shrugged. "Depends really. I mean some like it when you do but others like it to be more firm, you know- using your lips?"

"What about finger-fucking?"

Harry snorted. "What about it? And besides why do you want to know? You're with Luna. Isn't that a bit unnecessary? What's with the male anatomy questions?"

Ginny frowned. "Just wondering…what about-"

Harry shook his head. "Ginny!" he waited till she raised her head before continuing. "How about you'll go to the library, in the cooking section-"

"There's a cooking section!?"

"Yeah, and don't interfere! Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Go there and you'll find a book titled '**The book of cream and sugar**.' Read, it'll tell you all you need to know."

"From a cook book?"

Harry shook his head at her innocence. "It's not a cook book, trust me. Read it and you'll find out."

Ginny agreed, before catching sight of the shirt he planned on wearing. "Eww, haven't you learned anything from being in the movies? That shirt's gross. Here wear this." She handed him a pink shirt with a rainbow colored butterfly on it. The words on the back saying 'be free, be yourself'.

Shrugging, he put it on.

"Well I'm going now; you have fun and please take care of Lyra?"

Ginny nodded as she flipped another page in her magazine before frowning at him, "I though Colin was taking care of her."

Harry stared at her incredulously, "Do you really think I trust Colin Creevey?"

Ginny nodded, "So true, did you know he once stole a dirty towel of yours? Anyway have fun." She grinned as she watched him leave the room.

=-=-=-565=-=sdfasd=-=6567567-=-=

_Merlin, it's been a long week_, Harry thought as he walked down the magicked tunnel from the room of requirement, _feels more like a __**month**__. Thank heavens for weekends_.

When he got to the other end and opened the sliding, concealed door, he had to blink a second in order to adjust to the pink and blue neon lights that suddenly blinded him.

_Ah,_ He thought as he entered the shop with the loud display lights, _The place where you face your deepest pleasure, for enough money. The place where fantasies are formed and knowledge is gained, samples of pleasure beyond imaginable, in the right hands. A beautiful place, sex shop. All a Young mind needs to get corrupted. _

He looked around, walking down the aisles slowly as he inspected the different toys and implements. He got to the end of the aisle he was in when something very interesting caught his eye. Not something, but rather, **someone**. Tall, well built, cute ass, strong arms… And he was looking at a display of paddles while holding a wooden one in his hands.

Harry's eyes widen as his stomach gave a jolt, the way the man was holding the wooden device spoke of knowledge and experience. Harry couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like getting his ass spanked like that. He had gotten spanked sure, hell his first time was right after Kevin, who played Gavin, spanked him bare ass with his hand.

_But it's a whole lot different with a paddle,_ his mind supplied and Harry knew it was the truth. While getting spanked with someone's hand was quite hot, it wasn't as hard as it could be. The whip also gives another sensation as it hits one place hard and the other less.

But a paddle, oh…he could only imagine the pain it might bring. Could only wonder at the heat that would undoubtedly spread all over his red ass.

He bit his lip before he smiled as an idea took over.

_Well, Ginny did say I should get laid…should it really matter with whom?_

Harry walked over to tall, dark and mysterious (a/n: sorry Dual Worlds, I loved that description,) and leaned over his shoulder as if to check the paddle from a closer look.

"Hey there," he started, "do you need someone to try that on? I promise I'll keep an open mind to any ideas."

The stranger jumped, almost dropping the paddle in his haste to turn around. "N…no…I mean it's not like…forgive me…I…Harry!?"

Harry stared. The not quite-so stranger had turned around and even without the man's conformation that they've met, he would have recognized that Scottish accent anywhere.

"Wood? Oliver, is that you?" Harry gaped at his one-time captain in shock. Never, had he thought to see **him** of all people in **here**. "What are you doing here?"

Oliver wood grinned, obviously over the sudden shock of seeing Harry Potter in a sex-shop. "I could ask you the same question as I'm not the one who's sneaking out of school."

Harry flushed. "Yes, well. Hmm…" he trailed off, not sure how to continue. It didn't help that he found himself thinking on how stupid he was for actually coming on to his quiddich captain no matter how hot the man looked.

"It's been a long time, Potter. Certainly grown up a lot." Oliver's gaze trailed his body slowly, leaving no doubt in Harry's mind that he was being checked out.

"Right back at you," Harry smiled, nerves coming back. "Certainly looking firm," he grinned once more, "those quiddich training sure help a lot. Your muscles are so big..!"

Oliver nodded, mind catching on to the hidden pun with practiced ease. "Oh yes, one could say that. Why? Do you want to feel how truly hard I am?"

Harry raised a brow, wondering and wanting but still unsure if he should. There is a difference after all in sleeping with a stranger than with a friend.

"Is that an invitation, Oliver? I didn't know you were that kind of guy."

The older teen shrugged. "Most don't, except a few. And yes, it was an invitation, if you want it?"

The boy-who-lived cocked his head to the side as a small smile pulled on his lips. "Oh, I definitely want it…but…" his smile turned wider "I also want this."

Oliver frowned before he looked at what Harry was watching. He raised his eyebrow, surprised but eager. "Why Harry, you sure have changed since the innocent little boy you once were."

With that he picked the wooden paddle he held and went to pay. Harry lingered for a few moments; both staring at some of the instruments and picking up a few he wanted himself.

"Ready Harry?" Oliver was back with a brown bag in his hand. "Or is there something else you wanted?"

With a hidden smile, Harry raised a hand in the international sign of 'wait a minute' before he walked down one of the aisles he passed and picked up a few more things.

Oliver grinned at his purchases, watching him pay for them.

"So where to?" Harry asked as both stood outside the shop, Harry with his head bowed down so no one could see his scar.

"I live two blocks away from here, makes things easy to get."

Harry nodded as he hurried after his current playmate.

=-=-=-86876908756=--=-=

"What do you think?" Oliver said throwing their purchases on the counter top of his apartment.

Harry looked around the room, seeing it clearly as the bachelor's pad it was.

Elegant and yet still simple, showing the occupant's taste and interests at the same time.

"Where's the bedroom?" he asked by the way of answering.

Oliver grinned as he gulped down the beer he just drank. "Eager huh?"

Harry shrugged as he took off his shirt. "I've been without sex for a whole week, I think I displayed enough patience to last me a life time." His pants came off next and Harry grinned when he saw Oliver checking him out. "Now, are you going to fuck me or not?"

Oliver's expression changed in a second and Harry gasped when the man stalked over and grabbed his hair tightly in his fist. "Talking back to your superior, Potter?"

Harry shook his head, mutely.

Wood's stare never left his eyes as he slowly led the boy to his bedroom, picking the brown bags on his way.

"Definitely needs to be punished, I think." Oliver spoke as he threw the boy to the bed. "Hands and knees Potter and make it fast."

Harry never thought he followed a command as fast as he did right now.

"Such an eager boy you are." Oliver said, his hands trailing over Harry's body gently. "Eager for a cock, my cock."

Harry nodded with a small flush on his cheeks. "Can tell you're no longer a virgin, lucky man the one that took you. But you know what that means don't you?"

Harry shook his head. "It means that since you're not pure, I expect my every command to be obeyed, I want to see you at my mercy, begging for me. Can you do it, Harry? Speak!"

"God yes, please."

It was the correct answer, Harry assumed, as just as fast as he answered, a sharp sting appeared on his ass.

"Would you like another one?"

Harry nodded, not sure if he was allowed to speak just yet.

Oliver grinned as he swung the paddle once more, this time it was the sound rather than the sudden pain that made Harry jump but he quickly moaned at another hit.

It went on like this; Oliver hitting him with the paddle and asking him if he wanted more and Harry nodding and pushing his ass back. Seconds could have gone by or maybe hours, Harry couldn't find it in himself to care.

His ass was sore and red and burned so sweetly that Harry knew he would come whether he would be touched soon or not.

Oliver, understanding that, simply reached over and Harry groaned as he felt him attaching a metal cock ring on him.

"Hush pet, you didn't get permission to come, now did you?"

Harry shook his head and moaned when Oliver slapped him once more.

"God, your ass is gorgeous." Oliver whispered and Harry jumped when he felt a tongue licking and caressing his hole.

Uncaringly, he pushed his ass back, wordlessly begging for more. Oliver didn't seem to mind.

"Fuck, hand me the condom and lube, Harry."

Harry clearly didn't want to move from his spot but he also wanted to come and if it took Oliver fucking him for him to do so than he sure as hell didn't mind.

Giving the items to Oliver, Harry was disappointed when the older boy didn't immediately use them; instead Oliver reached into one of the bags and pulled out a purple dildo.

Harry's eyes widened at the size; at least 5 inches wide but definitely nine and half long (if not more), he wondered if it would fit.

Oliver held the plastic cock firmly in his hand and smirked when he caught sight of Harry's expression. "It'll fit don't worry, and if not, well…" he grinned for a second before his face blanked.

"Fuck it."

Harry bit his lip as he reached over to take the toy from Oliver's hands. Oliver, however, didn't let go. "I'll hold it, you'll ride it." He said when Harry opened his mouth.

The boy-who-lived nodded with a small blush. _God, why the hell am I blushing? I did worse in my last movie_. With a shake of his head, he raised his knees up and slowly sat on the dildo.

Harry bit his lip as he felt the first few inches slid into him, _god that feels good_. He moaned when Oliver's other hand pulled him further on the toy. He didn't even care about the small twinges of pain that came from not being stretched first, the pleasure of feeling something thick and long pressing into each wall in his ass, stretching him and filling him so sweetly that he couldn't help but push himself even further on the toy until more then half was inside.

Oliver, however, seemed to have a different idea. While Harry was satisfied in taking it slow, Oliver wasn't. The man grabbed Harry's shoulder hard and pulled him down fast, letting another three inches enter.

Harry gasped and grabbed Oliver's hand, silently telling him no. The boy nodded and Harry let his hand go. He couldn't help but groan and writhe when Oliver used his free hand to play with his hard cock. Pulling it and caressing it so divinely that Harry pushed forward for more, gasping in shock as the last few inches were shoved in.

"Told you it will fit." Oliver gasped as he stroked the boy's cock. Harry was to busy panting to formulate a response.

"Ride it Harry."

Harry nodded and slowly rose up before pulling down again, glad that Oliver's hold on the plastic cock prevented it rising with him. He shook his head of all thoughts but feel and rose again.

Oliver's hand traced his body as he rose and fall to the beat of his heart; boom, up, boom down, and so on, feeling his body swallow the dildo inch by inch before releasing it only to start again right after.

Suddenly Harry fell on the bed when Oliver's hand let go of the dildo, allowing it to follow him as he rose once more and making him lose his balance.

"Wha?" he couldn't finish as Oliver quickly pulled the rubber cock out and shoved himself in. dimly Harry wondered when he managed to put on the condom and rub the lube, but when Oliver started fucking him in earnest, he found himself not caring.

He mewled when Oliver's hands grabbed his thighs painfully, knowing that he'll bruise. He almost screamed when Oliver's thrusts became more frantic but decided instead to beg; beg to come, beg for more…he really didn't care.

His current owner didn't seem to care either, that is to say that he didn't seem to care what Harry wanted, completely ignoring his words, making him groan and beg even harder.

"Please…oh god…please Oliver…I need to come…please…" he gasped when Oliver stilled for a moment and felt him come in him.

After a moment, Oliver pulled himself out and stared at the writhing boy in front of him with a small smile.

"Do you want to come, Harry?" he mocked and Harry glared. Unfortunately, his effect was ruined when he moaned hard once Oliver stroked his aching cock.

"Please Oliver…please…"

The man just laughed but nodded. "As much as it's amusing to see you begging like this," he licked his lips at the picture Harry made; cock hard and red in its metal cage, flushed cheeks and eyes so dark from lust they looked black. "I want to taste how sweet you are."

With that he pulled the ring off and before Harry could sigh in relief he swallowed him deep, making the young man gasp as he threw his head back while his hands grabbed Oliver's head to push him down.

"Oh!" Was the only word Harry managed to wheeze as he felt himself coming hard in Oliver's mouth. The other's throat working fast in order to swallow all of him.

Pulling off, Oliver wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Delicious Harry, definitely worth the wait, don't you say?"

Harry laughed, not knowing what to do and Oliver grinned at him as he covered them both with the blanket. "Stay here for the night?"

Harry didn't answer. When Oliver looked at him, he saw that the boy was already asleep.

Grinning, he shut the lights and settled into bed.

=-=-=-Diki is hot=-=-=-

Oliver woke up first when the sunlight hit his face through a gap in the curtains. The first thing he noticed was that he was lying on a young man's body, his arm draped around the other's figure. Slowly, without alerting, Oliver trailed his hand down to rub at Harry's slightly red ass.

Harry wiggled a little and moaned, but he didn't wake.

Getting an idea and smiling evilly, he took his wand and summoned the last toy out of the bag.

He continued to kneed Harry's ass cheeks while his other hand went down to stroke the boy's cock lightly. It slowly came up to attention.

Grinning once more, Oliver slowly wetted the toy with his spit, figuring that Harry was already open enough to not need further stretching.

When the toy was wet enough, Oliver slowly inserted it, smirking when Harry moaned and pushed back, eager for more.

It made Oliver wonder what he was dreaming about.

As if to answer his question, Harry moaned a name; "Sssseeeverusss…."

Oliver paused with shock before a wry smile spread on his face. Well well, who would have thought? He snickered softly as he realized what Harry's constant fighting with Snape were about- sexual tension.

Nonetheless, he continued on with his little idea, the toy he chose already inside the boy. He smirked as Harry moaned Snape's name once more along with "oh, please professor!", and sighed; such a kinky mind his quiddich prodigy has.

Oliver held on to the rubber cable that was attached, taking a deep breath before pressing the button.

At first it didn't seem like anything happened, but suddenly Harry shot off the bed with a gasp and a guttural moan, "Ahhhhhhh!"

Oliver smirked as he held the boy down. Slowly, Harry realized where he was and what was happening. Oliver figured that out when Harry froze before he started panting, moaning and pushing back on the Bullet, a small vibrator attached with a cable at the end, meant for starting the toy only after it was inserted deep into the victim's ass- ultimate pleasure.

"Oh god, Oliver!" Harry gasped as Oliver started to lick his hole, not stopping the toy's movements. Harry pushed back hard as he urged the older boy to go harder and faster, moaning as he did so.

Oliver broke off after a while, taking in Harry's flushed face, oh so beautiful.

"Oh Oliver, god. I need it." Harry sobbed out as he tried to come but with the way Oliver held him, he couldn't get any friction on his cock.

"Are you sure you need it from **me**?"

"Wh-?" Harry frowned, wondering what he meant.

"You called for Severus Snape, in your dream…. So I'll ask again, are you sure it's me you want?"

Harry froze. Well sort-of. Kinda hard to when you have a constant vibration on your sweet spot_. He couldn't *gasp* have heard, but how?_ He shook his head and answered. "You please Oliver, I need you!"

"Your body craves for me… but your mind- your mind screams for his spidery fingers, his black piercing eyes, his deep, velvet, liquid sex voice…admit it, you want him."

Harry bit his lip but Oliver wasn't done. "You want him to fuck you? Suck you off? He'll insult you at every turn; inflame you with that biting, sharp tongue of his… You'll probably come just at the thought of him."

Harry gave a deep moan at those words and Oliver grinned. "Do you imagine him watching you Harry? Talking to you in his voice of sin, ordering you what to do, to suck him, to come?"

"Yes." Harry gasped as he felt the heat spread through his body.

"You'd get on your knees if he asked it of you, you'd do anything just for him to touch you. Wouldn't you?"

"Oh god." Harry sobbed; he couldn't believe that Oliver was doing this. "Please, more."

"An example of the words you'll moan for him. If he'll tell you to come, would you?"

Harry threw his head back as he felt his body spasm and twitch, his orgasm bursting forth and over stimulating his system so much that he thought he might pass out.

"I'll take that as a yes?" Oliver asked voice filled with worry and tight with lust.

Harry didn't answer and just turned around. In fact, he turned around so fast that Oliver was startled so much that he didn't protest when Harry pushed him on his back.

Harry didn't bother with an explanation for his actions and simply ducked his head down and took as much of Oliver as he could.

Oliver hips buckled as he cursed loudly, his hands already reaching down to grab hard at those long hairs. "Fuck Harry, harder."

The boy didn't disappoint.

A few licks to the head and some powerful sucks and Oliver was coming hard. He was already so wound up from playing with Harry before, and having a wet heat on his hard and throbbing cock was too much for him to handle.

Harry swallowed it all down before he raised his head to the quiddich captain. "Please stop the toy; I'm too freaking sensitive now."

Oliver frowned for a second before he hurried into action with wide eyes.

He didn't even think to stop the vibration, so caught up in watching the beautiful boy come. It was no wonder Harry jumped on him like that.

He groaned at the thought of the small toy pressed against Harry's sweet spot, stimulating him and making him feel so good. "Ahhh."

They collapsed a minute later.

*/*/*-/*/*678*/*/*/**

A clock beeped somewhere in the distance. With a groan Harry reached to press his alarm clock on the side table only to reach nothing, frowning he stared until his mind caught on to the fact that it wasn't his bedroom.

"Oliver shut your alarm clock." Harry groaned, covering his head with his pillow.

"I didn't set an alarm clock." The boy spoke through the hazy fog of his thoughts.

Harry turned around. "Then what's ringing?"

Oliver frowned for a second before his eyes widen and he jumped of the bed. Harry stared as he started searching through his pockets until he pulled a red square thingy out.

"Shit, I'm late!" Oliver gasped as he dressed with the speed of light.

Harry shook his head. "It's only…" he stared at his hand watch."Shit! I have potions in fifteen minutes." He jumped out of the bed and joined Oliver in the task of dressing.

"You should hurry…" Oliver gasped as he searched through the room for his things.

"I know, I know." He glared at nothing. "Oh, Snape's going to kill me if I'm late."

Oliver paused and smirked. "You could always offer to suck him off." Harry turned his glare at the older teen. "Not funny, Wood."

The boy shrugged and threw Harry's jacket to him. "Fancy meeting again?"

"If I'll have time, sure. You still need to tell me where you learned to hit like that." he smiled at the memory of his paddling.

Oliver laughed. "Only if you'll tell me you want it harder next time."

"It's a deal." Harry said to the surprised boy and raced out the door.

Tbc.

*/*0/*/*/0**/0*/*/*0/*/**/0*

A/n: wow, that took some time…DikiCat is most pleased, though. You can tell as she's talking in third body about herself.

Rock_Junkie mutters "Again." and rolls her eyes but DikiCat ignored it.

So anyway, me thinks that considering we've been begged to get Harry laid we did a good job.

Mmm, getting a paddling always feels so good…..not that DikiCat would know.

Rock_Junkie frowns: something you're not telling?

DikiCat: (in poorly spoken Arabic) ana? Meesh ana. (Translating- me? Not me.)

Rock_Junkie shrugs.

DikiCat carries on. : So, anyway…..hmm I published two stories today under B2J they are sorta cute…hopefully….read and tell me.

Pause as DikiCat hears Rock_Junkie mutters 'begging for reviews, how sad.'

Such is life, where one begs one gets… or something….

My sister is going to be 22 or three in about a week or so, already ordered me what to get her… told me that when she'll open her gift she'll yell 'wow, it's such a surprise, how did you know I wanted it?' or something in those words.

Rock_Junkie is complaining about the length of our a/n's so I've got to go….

Review please….please…please?

P.s

The new chapter for Rabbity Harry is going to come out soon… Just so you know…


	22. Duck if you dare!

**Chapter 22: Duck if you dare!**

(Disclaimer in chapter one)

Harry raced outside really fast before pausing in confusion as he realized he didn't know where he was.

_Shit, how the hell am I supposed to go back to school if I don't know where the fuck I am? _

He panicked for a second as he realized that Snape just might kill him if he won't show up for class and Ginny can only cover for him for so long before someone got suspicious.

Without warning the words _'Are you mad? Are you a witch or not?'_ popped into his mind and Harry almost smacked himself as he realized he could apparate to Hogsmeade.

_Well, at least Ron was good for something_; he snickered mentally as he hurried from the alley behind Gladrags to the castle up high.

He felt like he died when he finally reached potions class, and almost opened the door before he remembered he forgot his stuff and had to run to the griffin's tower in order to get them.

"Sorry I'm late professor Snape." Harry breathed out, panting harshly and leaning on the doorframe.

_At least I'm only ten minutes late…must be a record._

"Potter!" Snape glared, obviously in the middle of marking as he threw down a red inked quill. "What makes you think that you can crash in here and make a racket? Just because the rest of the world is filled with dimwits who think you are Merlin's second coming doesn't mean that I will tolerate such impertinence."

Harry had to will down a spontaneous erection at the man's harsh tone._ Oh, so hot…_

"No sir, of course not." He muttered before going to his seat.

"Where do you think you're going, Potter?"

Harry frowned. "To my seat, sir?"

Snape sneered. "If you had gotten here on time then you would have heard me saying that I was assigning new seats..." he stared hard at him and Harry turned his gaze away so he wouldn't stare at his eyes. "Yours is the back, the further away from me as possible without leaving the class." He sighed in a way that told Harry that if the man could have done that then he would have done it already in first year.

"Yes sir." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _I suppose it could only happen to me; falling in love with someone who hates me._

He ignored the fact that Snape seemed turned on by his alter-ego Lilo Sky and walked dejected to his seat.

Pulling out his things he started to prepare his potion, realizing that they would be working alone from now on.

The rest of the lesson passed this way and Harry almost made a scene when he had to get up from the seat to get ingredients and sit back down.

It was one of his secret pleasures, being sore after a good hard fucking and then sitting down, feeling the after affects.

But the thing was that when one was in potions class with a teacher that was already suspicious of you…well….

"Potter." Harry fought hard not to jump when professor Snape spoke from behind him; he didn't even notice the man reaching his side of the room let alone get behind him.

"Sir?"

Snape leaned closer and Harry felt him take a long sniff. He tensed when Snape spoke again.

"Why were you late to my class?"

Harry shivered at the warm breath that tingling his neck. "I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again."

"I did not ask for apologies, I ask for a reason." Harry felt him sniff again.

"I was busy." _It was the truth, after all._

"Oh." Snape paused for a second. "I wonder what Mr. Weasley will do when he'll realize what you've been doing with his sister?"

Harry let out the small breath that he was holding…_oh thank god Snape suspected it was Ginny and not well…anyone else._

"Except…" he sniffed again, "this isn't the smell of a woman."

Harry tensed once again. "I wonder Potter, are you such a whore to love being marked by some man's cum?"

Harry shivered in delight and arousal. "I…I don't know what you're talking about, sir."

Snape chuckled lightly. "Of course you don't." he stood up. "Finish brewing your potion, Potter and let's hope that by some miracle, it won't be a failure like it usually is."

The rest of the class ended without another incident but when the bell rang, Harry raced to the nearest bathroom to clean himself up a little.

=-I'm Harry Potter I'm totally awesome=-=-==-=

"Okay, everyone get in pairs." Tonks said as she walked around the teacher's stand.

Pansy quickly caught her as she tripped.

"Oops. I swear it wasn't there before." The woman muttered at the stand that was bought forty years ago.

There were some snorts around the room but everyone complied quietly and chose a partner.

Harry found himself with an Asian looking boy called Kira Yagami.

"Okay basically I want you all to beat the other up."

Stares.

"Well, maybe I should explain." She jumped on her table, making the desk lamp fall to the floor. "Shoot, anyway," she turned back to the class, "your mission will be to shoot as many spells as you can with your partner while ducking from other partners' spells by hiding in the conjured shields. Remember no one is supposed to conjure shields but use the ones available."

She nodded. "The spells you shoot are only color spells, like paintball." She grinned widely and the muggle-informed smiled at her. "The one who gets hit the most loses so you better try hard."

"What's the purpose of this game?" Hermione's voice broke free from the murmurs.

Tonks frowned. "What?"

"Well, aren't we here to study? Why the game?"

"Nobody is playing games in my class. The aim of the game is to learn how to aim and duck."

There were frowns. "That's what we did in auror training." She paused. "Well that's what Moody wanted us to do. Thing was one of the muggle-borns decided that since we're partners we shouldn't curse the other so he started throwing paint spells and then another one suddenly screamed 'paintball' before throwing more paint around, soon we all had goggles and were ducking from the paint." She laughed. "Moody was so pissed and joined in so he could show us how to duck properly."

She shook her head. "So the purpose of the game is to learn how to aim with accuracy and duck."

"What's the prize?"

Tonks grinned. "Well, the winner gets 60 points for his house, a bottle of warm Butterbeer and a duck. Get it? You get a duck if you learn how to duck!"

She burst out laughing.

"A rubber duck?" Harry asked, keeping a straight face.

Tonks nodded. "Ha huh. A bright yellow rubber ducky so you could play with yourself in the tub." She grinned before humming under her breath.

'Rubber ducky you're so fun, you make bath time lot's of fun, rubber ducky you're the one for me.' (A/n: I loved how Brian sang it to Justin in a fanfic)

The class burst out laughing.

Tonks grinned at them all. "So conjure up some goggles and let's start."

Harry grinned and conjured a black set for himself.

When all were ready, Tonks went about and started changing the partners' shirts to match.

Harry and Kira got the color black on their shirts with a white 'L' in the middle and back.

The two saw that others had different letters on their and different colors as well. Sometimes, having colors that didn't match.

"Are you sure you can't change this shirt? I don't think I look good in purple and yellow." Ron Weasley whined but Tonks ignored him.

"Well at least I got a good color." Draco murmured next to him and Harry saw that he and Blaise wore silver and the letter 'M'.

"Draco just likes the fact that I'm marked by his last name." Blaise admitted and said boy rolled his eyes.

"At least I'm not wearing red." He gestured to Pansy who had Susan Bones.

"Its maroon you _moron_, not red." The girl piped up politely.

"She used to be such a sweet girl." Draco shook his head. "I think the weaselet corrupted her."

Harry turned innocent eyes at him. "Ginny would never do something like that."

Three snorts erupted from his sides.

"Okay! Everyone ready?"

"Yeah!"

"Well then, let's see what you think of my mine field." She removed the curtain from the back of the room, showing not the wall as they assumed but rather another room.

It was no ordinary room, though. It had all sorts of half-walls in it with nets hanging on the floor and in the air and all sorts of wires were tied up all over the room.

Harry even thought he saw several carton-made people.

He was right when Tonks explained. "See, you can hide behind the walls but you must be careful not to trip any of the wires and ropes, they cause traps to appear- magical traps." She grinned. "You can even get caught in a net if you're not careful." She laughed. "See those people," she pointed to the carton-like figures. "They're sitting ducks that stand," she giggled. "You can duck behind a sitting duck that stands, but the duck might duck so make sure you duck behind that duck before it ducks." She burst out laughing.

"Get it? Duck!"

The class just stared at her, with one or two who managed to follow and was laughing silently under their breaths.

"Hmm, well you're no fun." She shrugged. "Well go spread around, and careful not to start the traps while doing so." Just as she said this, a Hufflepuff kid tripped on a rope, which luckily didn't start the trap it held.

"Wait for my mark," she raised her wand and as all wondered what it will be, a loud 'QUACK' sounded, making three couples jump and one fall into a net.

They spread out, some teams keeping together, some separating, some making packs with others to stay alive.

Harry and Kira moved together, back to back and in circles, effectively eliminating anyone that was shooting at them.

They made their way to the other side of the room, stopping from time to time to step over a trap wire or get out the way. Harry saw a place where they could hide and shoot from for a little while.

"C'mon!" He shouted to Kira over all the noise and pandemonium.

Suddenly they heard girls screeching and a shower of multi-colored toy ducks fell from the sky all over the place. The plastic horrors hit the floor with a loud 'Quack!' and splattered everything near with colorful paint.

Team L got behind a low wall with a small window, firing at other teams and carton figures just because they duck and annoy the hell out of them. Harry shot one of those cardboard figures so many times that he made a black ugly hole where the head's supposed to be. Didn't stop the thing from ducking, though.

Just when Kira shot both the members of the Yellow-and-pink team and Harry got rid of another carton head out of sheer irritation, they got surprised from behind by Draco and Blaise, all silver and looking as annoyed and tired as Harry felt.

"Damm ducks," Draco muttered, looking around him before sitting next to the others. "I swear, if Tonks ever does anything like that again, I'm gonna turn her _head_ into a plastic duck. With air for brains. What the-?!"

A huge explosion was heard followed by screams and another shower of colored ducks fell over everyone.

Draco spelled a big black umbrella.

"I hate ducks."

Harry rolled his eyes as he peeped out from behind his temporary shelter. "Do you think we're safe?" He wondered and Draco rolled his eyes.

"Don't be delusional, it's never safe whenever that auror's around-" He was cut of by a war cry and immediately ducked when he saw hurried shots coming his way.

His assaulter didn't seem to notice his action and fired more colorful spells with the help of his partner.

When they stopped, Draco and Blaise (who Draco grabbed when he heard the shout) peeked and saw one Pansy Parkinson staring shocked at Harry and Kira who were supporting quite a lot more paint on them than before.

Apparently they mistook Pansy's war cry for a terrified one and didn't bother with ducking.

Which was clearly a mistake.

For Pansy, that is.

The girl stared terrified at Harry who was wiping the green goo from his goggles with an angry expression.

"Umm, I didn't mean to?" She tried the innocent approach while stepping backwards when Harry glowered at her.

Kira swore loudly.

"We were going for Malfoy and Zabini." Susan Bones commented, also steeping sideways so she wouldn't get trapped in the crossfire.

"As if you could get _me_." Draco shook his head and stepped to the side.

Right into a sinking step.

At first nothing happened, but suddenly they heard a loud mechanical groan from the sides.

Ducking didn't seem to help when two catapults suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

They bombarded the six students from all sides, getting paint everywhere, and Blaise even got to taste some, since he was about to speak at the time.

Four seconds later, all was still (well, if you don't count the chaos around the room).

"_'As if you could get me'_ **God**! You're an **idiot** Draco!" Pansy mocked as she tried to wring the paint out of her clothes.

"At least I'm not wearing _maroon_." It was a lame retort but he couldn't help it.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, I wonder who will win."

He didn't have to wait long.

Now as they were all pretty much disqualified (they doubted the color would come off during the rest of the game) they decided to trip as many students as they can.

The last team standing when Tonks sounded the 'Stop' sound had a Slytherin boy and a Hufflepuff girl both dressed in black and white striped shirts with the letter W on them.

The girl noticed everyone around her staring, so she snapped, "What!? I can spread my legs when I need to!" Before covering her mouth when she realized what _that_ sounded like.

Tonks giggled as she walked over. She pulled out two bright yellow extra-large ducks from behind her back and handed them over to the couple.

The boy grinned and pressed the duck that emitted a large 'Quack!'.

"Brilliant professor."

Tonks glowed.

=-=-=-= Wasn't that fun? =-=-=-=-=

"Alright class." Remus grinned as he turned to look at the newly-cleaned seventh years.

"I want you all to put these on," he pointed at lab robes and hair nets. "And gather all your jewelry in this bag," he gestured the bag on his table. "So that means that all rings, bracelets and everything else will off for the next several hours."

Harry frowned but like the rest of class did as told.

Unfortunately he also had to wear a hair net as his hair was quite long. On the plus side so did Draco, Smith and the rest of the girls.

When everyone was ready, Remus told them to follow him to another room, three doors away from the main classroom.

"Alright, everyone get in and pick a station." Harry frowned before he entered the door and his eyes widen.

The entire room was furnished as a kitchen, or should he say kitchens as each station that Remus spoke of was a mini-kitchen filled with everything one needed to cook with.

"Oh wow, professor this is so great." Harry gushed out as he raced to one of the stations. He gasped at what he saw. "Oh my god, you got the entire 'Tammy's silver' silverware!? They are the best ever what with the way they cut…and wow! (Another gasp) a fully stocked 'Spice me up'! Those things are the best and they always make the food taste better." He shook his head when he realized that his classmates were staring at him.

"Sorry sir."

But Remus wasn't mad, instead he smiled. "It's okay Harry, because in this room you can make all your cuisine dreams and fantasies come alive…If you have ever fancied a triple fudge chocolate cake then you'll learn to make it, if you prefer fresh baked cookies then you'll get them, anything that you desire can be cooked right here, if you are willing to try."

The class murmured and Remus left them for several minutes to look over their things.

Harry took the time to watch who was in his station_. Hmm, Kira Yagami, Susan Bones and Pansy Parkinson._

"Hmm, anyone of you knows how to cook?" Harry asked and was rewarded by three blank stares.

Pansy glared. "We're purebloods, Potter. We don't need to cook, what the hell are house elves are for?"

Behind him he could hear Draco muttering to Blaise about 'How cooking was for slaves and not pureblood princes like himself'.

Harry ignored the self proclaimed prince, and wondered how long it will take him to realize that the lovely cream-filled jelly sugared biscuits he loved could be easily made here.

"Oh god, I can make 'Rosy's delights' right here." Apparently not long enough, Harry shook his head at Draco's shriek of delight.

And he wondered why Pansy thought the boy was straight.

It took a while for Remus to quiet down the offended pure blood chatter and the muggle-born's excited talk, but eventually he got them all right through the first steps of cooking. Of course, he had to match each recipe to the student's level of knowledge in cooking, so that each student knew what he was doing.

While Harry got to make a magnificent triple deck chocolate cake, Draco got to cook-

"Spaghetti? I'm making spaghetti?!"

"Oh, be quiet Draco, at least your making something known. I have no idea what the hell 'Pizza' is supposed to be."

"Yeah? Well, at least that. I got **Popcorn**. What the fuck-?"

But apparently the muggle raised didn't think that way as the purebloods started hearing them moan about 'Oh god, I've missed pizza and hamburgers…' and other stuff they called 'Junk food.' What the hell?

"Alright!" Remus clapped his hands together. "Those of you that know the basics of cooking get right to it," it was a bit redounded to say that, as practically everyone he spoke of got to work immediately. "the rest of you, just follow instructions and you'll be fine, I wrote most of the recipes down so you would know how each device works so be careful, basically cooking is a lot like potions except it doesn't blow in your face when you fail."

Everyone heard one girl muttering, "No, just burns the entire kitchen down and getting you grounded for three months."

Harry ignored everyone else as he worked; first making the dough before fixing the icing that should be frozen up, before warmed at the end. it was only when the cake was in the oven to be baked for an hour that he paused and stared around him.

He couldn't help but laugh.

Muggle-raised or not, not everyone knew how to cook and it showed. You could see dough covering faces, obviously bad mixtures of flour and water. The robes of some were streaked with all sorts of food but the most hilarious was to watch the trio of slytherin royalty.

Blaise was in charge of making popcorn and he looked bloody terrified of the covered pan, which was popping and growing by the minute.

Pansy's face was covered with sprays of Tomato sauce and she was busy working the oven open in order to get her tray of pizza in. Harry was surprised to see that it actually looked edible.

Draco, however, looked utterly bored. He was just standing there, looking at the steaming pot of water, the sauce already prepared with Tomatoes, mushrooms, parsley and various spices.

"Is it ready yet?" He asked no one in general. Harry walked over and picked a spoon up, dipping it into the sauce he tasted it and felt his eyes widen as he moaned loudly.

"Hmm, wow, Draco, this is really good."

Blaise, who got the all-clear from Remus about the almost-exploding pan, hastily dropped it and went to see how his lover flared.

He did as Harry and took a taste of the sauce. "Hmm, that's really good Draco."

The slytherin prince rolled his eyes. "Of course it tastes good, Blaise, I made it."

His lover rolled his eyes and Harry broke the moment by telling Draco to add the noodles into the hot water.

"Now remember, constant stirring or it will become a huge mess."

"I'm not an invalid Potter, I can read instructions."

"Fine, let's hope you won't burn anything." Right as Harry finished that, a scream broke out from the back of the room and all three (plus the entire class) turned to see one Hermione Granger staring at the burning oven.

"Professor! Help!" Lupin hurried over with a fire extinguisher and quickly put it out.

Coughing, the bushy haired girl frowned. "What went wrong? I read the instructions and followed them to a fault."

"Obviously not, otherwise it wouldn't have happened." One of the muggleborns snapped, undoubtedly sore about the fact that her hair smelled of smoke now.

"Don't take it out on me!" Hermione spoke angrily, "I-"

"Enough, Ms. Granger, go and clean yourself up." Remus broke them up, and huffing, Hermione went to do as told.

Soon, every student started pulling their projects out of the ovens and the class filled with the smell of food.

Remus grinned when Harry pulled out his cake and without warning, dipped his finger in and tasted it.

"Mmm." He moaned as the flavors mixed on his tongue and that seemed the cue as everyone slowly but surly started going to friends and neighbor cooks to try what they made.

Harry and other muggle-raised walked mostly to those who made junk-food and practically gorged themselves out.

Speaking of…

"So what's this suppose to taste like?" Draco asked as he looked at Pansy's creation.

The girl shrugged. "Pizza. I'm afraid to try it." She admitted and Harry shook his head. "Trust me," He stared, "it's great." He said, after he tasted it.

The girl raised a brow but took a bite from the food. Eyes wide, she released an even louder moan than Remus' and quickly took another bite.

Blaise and Draco, knowing just how picky this girl was when it came to food, stared at her in surprise and each took a bite of the remaining pizza.

"Wow." Blaise grinned as he took another slice, "That's junk food? It's great!" Draco nodded, not willing to speak with his mouth full.

"You're allowed to take your creations to the great hall for dinner." The class stared at him confused and he added. "Four hours have passed."

Shocked, most looked at their watches or murmured a tempus charm and noticed that he was right.

"See you next class."

-= I need to get laid -=-=-=-=-==-=-

Harry walked out of dinner, grinning at the fact that most of his year had went to the great hall still dirty from the cooking class.

It certainly granted them looks but most were too curious of the foods they made to care.

Julia certainly loved Blaise' popcorn.

And she said so quite a few times.

She was especially delighted by his tale of shooting the weasel and putting him down in the paintball war.

Shame he had to miss such a conversation due to his detention with his master.

And he still didn't manage to get a good bath.

_Ah well, it's not like he hadn't smelled me already._ He thought as he walked down to the dungeons.

"Professor? I'm here for my detention." Harry called and Snape sneered at him. "I'm well aware of that fact boy; otherwise I would have asked you to leave."

"Yes sir." Harry shook his head. "What am I suppose to do?"

"Get on your knees."

Harry blinked. Surly his imagination was playing tricks on him. _Or maybe Severus finally gave in and wants to fuck me._

"W…what?"

"You heard me boy. Get on your knees and start cleaning the floor." The man snorted when Harry still stared at him.

"Did you think that there was another reason as to why I wanted you on your knees?"

The boy flushed and Snape smirked cruelly. "I knew I was right about your relationship with Ms. Weasley." He muttered and Harry saw him scribbling something on a piece of parchment.

"Ginny and I are in love!" Harry spoke up but Snape merely snorted. "The cleaning supplies are in their usual place, get to it little brat."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine." He shook his head.

Soon he found himself wet from the dirty water but when no comment on his clumsiness came forth, he raised his head and saw that Snape seemed to disappear.

_Great, first he insinuates that I'm gay (not that it isn't true) and then he leaves. And I wanted him to see me wet._ Harry snickered at the last thought.

"Is something amusing, boy?" Snape's voice made him jump and the entire bucket of water spilled right back on the floor.

"Honestly, if you're our last hope that I might as well go to the dark lord and beg for my life."

Harry bristled in anger. "I bet he would love to see you on your knees in front of him, begging or otherwise."

Snape looked at him amused. "Interesting thoughts are going through your head, Potter. Not many people think about the dark lord engaging in fornication."

"It's called sex, so stop using words like that." Harry muttered in embarrassment as he hastily got back to work.

Snape didn't comment and Harry soon finished.

"Your next detentions are going to be with Filch as I'll be too busy to watch after you."

Harry frowned. "Busy doing what?"

Snape raised a brow. "My, my. Aren't we nosy today?" Harry flushed and quickly left.

_God, how I wish he'll fuck me._

=-=-=-= or anyone really =-=-=-=-=-=

TBC.

A/n: so how have you all been? (Not like DikiCat really cares, me is simply being polite)

I have been absolutely great, school was hectic to both Rock_Junkie and myself but the good news are that our grades are excellent (DikiCat is still keeping her ninety plus average much to her pleasure) not to mention that Rock_Junkie is turning eighteen on Tuesday the tenth of march (wish her a 'happy birthday' and send cake).

More new is that DikiCat (which is me which is also known as B2J) is going to publish several new things under her second nickname (B2J) and you'll love them.

They'll be coming next week in my reckoning.

And guess what? Soon DikiCat's tests are over (only have three more; I'm counting the reseat exam I'll be doing to improve my grades as a whole new test…yeah, yeah, I've been told I'm an overachiever.) and your cat will be free to work on the final project in peace before finishing school.

And something you'll be sure to like….DikiCat is going to date a new beauty, an older woman aged thirty…wish her luck.

So enjoy the story, wait for B2J's new updates…and review.

P.s: DikiCat's stories have Harry/Tom relationship…Severus/Lucius mind blowing sex…the Weasley twins in their hot naked glory…if you tell me who you want more…I'll give it to you sooner.

Toddles.

And now, for my two bits, by Rock Junkie:

IT'S MY 18TH BIRTHDAY ON TUESDAY!!!!

And I'm going to a metal show Tomorrow (Sunday) from 18:00 to 6:00 *Grin*

After that I'm gonna have a week of just having fun and relaxing.

Sorry about not writing or updating for so long. Well, you know. Life. But now, hopefully, we'll have some more time… Maybe.

So anyway, Hope you liked this chapter! Give us your views, and don't forget to see B2J's stuff next week, and see you next time!


	23. Get a job!

**Chapter 23: Get a job!**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

A month went by and Halloween was slowly approaching, the band having more practices scheduled even during the week just so they wouldn't fuck the whole dance up.

Harry had to admit that if the band stank then the ball might be ruined.

Tonks had kept on hinting, without noticing, about a surprise for the ball during the practices, yet whenever anyone questioned her she would shake her head and say 'Shoot, I shouldn't have said that.'

It was quite funny seeing her like that.

Especially as she always seemed flustered afterwards and would bump into to the closest thing near her.

Last time she knocked over a bookcase.

It was all well and good but it also made him late for detentions. Most of them were scheduled with Filch but some were with Pince and Pomphary.

Harry didn't mind the last two as Pince usually left him with a mission to shelf the new and old books and it gave Harry the opportunity to read several interesting books without having to hide them.

With poppy, it was better because even as he cleaned bed-pans and made the beds he didn't have to stay silent and usually passed around the time asking her questions about being a healer.

It was an interesting job and Poppy guaranteed him that due to his frequent stays and the conversations they were having, he could try for a job as one. Poppy commented that it would be better than an auror when it comes to saving lives and the pay-checks were higher, which was always a bonus.

Harry thought that if his movie career wouldn't work then that's where he'll go.

If he was alive after killing Voldemort.

Between detention and band, Harry hardly had time for quidditch.

He did want to quit in the beginning of the year after learning that Ron Weasley (the prat) made it as captain of the team, but Draco put a stop to that after saying, 'you are the only worthy opponent I have when it comes to the sport, like hell you're going to quit just because the weasel made it as captain…fuck him if he thinks he can boss you around.'

It didn't help that when Harry tried to explain to him that the captain usually told the rest of the team what to do, Draco just said, 'all we do is catch the freaking snitch, what sort of strategy would help!?'

_Which was a good point._

Luckily the first match against Hufflepuff wasn't for two more months.

Of course, it didn't help when he had to sneak around in order to get to the movie set.

Jonathan thought of putting on a lovely show for Halloween, which wasn't a bad idea considering that most of Harry's life revolved around that holiday.

He just hoped that nothing bad will happen at this one.

Frankly, he was really excited about it as Johnny's notions for the new movie were unbelievable.

Certainly got him wet at night.

God, he couldn't wait.

-=-=-=kinky bastered that he is -=-=-

"We need some money." Harry said raising Lyra in his arms.

Draco stared at him. "Huh?" he spoke like the dignified pureblood he was.

"Money, you know the whole green stuff that as much as we wish, doesn't grow on trees." Draco was still looking at him blankly.

"Purebloods." Harry shook his head.

Sitting next to the blond in the astronomy tower, and placing Lyra between his spread legs, he tried to explain it simply.

"Lyra needs food and new toys; she's getting bored with what she has and in order to buy her more we need to get more money because we're running out."

Draco stared. "What money?"

Harry groaned. "You know what money! We got some when the project started…" when he noticed that Draco was frowning, he continued.

"How have you been getting Lyra the toys and other stuff?"

Draco shrugged. "Blaise and Pansy don't care if I'm burrowing some of their stuff."

Harry's eyebrows rose. "And don't they need it?"

Draco smirked. "Pansy and Blaise are hitting their baby every five seconds; do you really think they give a damn about this project?"

Harry frowned. "But wouldn't they want to win? After all, we're getting the tickets to the best restaurant known to Wizarding kind, not to mention the easy O."

Draco stared at him for a second before shaking his head. "Potter, do you know what Blaise's mother does for a living? Or Pansy's parents?"

The boy-who-lived shook his head. "Other then being death-eaters I really haven't got a clue."

"Blaise's mother is neutral just so you know." Draco explained. "She's also one of the most dangerous women alive."

He grinned evilly. "See, she usually finds herself married to rich men who always die several days after they sign the wedding contract. It was never proven that she was guilty but everyone knows it."

"Then why do men merry her?" Harry asked, completely fascinated.

"She's like the hottest woman alive." He quickly continued. "some say it's creature's blood running in her veins, other swear it's a spell and some think that she just radiate that sort of innocence in her that they can't help but fall for her."

Harry smiled. "Well, she certainly got them fooled."

Draco nodded with a small smile. "Blaise doesn't need the tickets when his mother is that rich and frankly neither do I, it's just that I will do everything in my power just so I can prove to everyone that my money isn't what's going to get me ahead in life."

The dark haired youth paused. "You really mean that? I thought that your father will want you to follow in his footsteps, as in using the money to get things."

Draco shrugged once more. "Yeah well, father is allowed to do those things as it's his money." He tickled the staring baby. "He worked most of his life to get to that faze where he can just spread money around without getting us to bankruptcy."

Harry nodded. "And Pansy's parents?"

The blond prince picked the gurgling baby and gathered her close to his arms. "Her parents work in dealership. They gather objects from around the world and sell them for quite a lot of money. Pansy's aunt has a winery in Vienna that is quite successful."

Harry smiled. "Must love the holidays. Going abroad and having fun."

"Yeah, we usually go to Vienna when the summer comes or Spain, usually staying with Blaise and Pansy's parents for the summer, not that they're there most of the time."

"Don't you go to places that you own?"

Draco smirked. "Curious little thing, aren't you?" Harry flushed. "We go to Paris most of the time but my mother doesn't like to travel much so we usually stay in the country."

"We still need money."

Draco nodded. "So do Blaise and Pansy. Diapers." He added at Harry's confused look.

"Can't they just vanish the mess?" he spoke even if he'd never done that.

Draco's lips twitched. "No, apparently it gives a horrible rash that unless treated right would make the kid scream like the devil is after him. They never tried it again."

Harry laughed.

"Didn't they say something about jobs?"

"Yeah, we need to work either in Hogsmeade or in here and get money for it."

Draco paused. "We'll try in Hogsmeade tomorrow."

Harry yawned. "yeah." he picked the girl up. "I'll tuck her in before I'll go myself."

The silver eyed blond shrugged nonchalantly. "Have pleasant dreams."

Harry frowned. "Aren't you going to bed as well?"

Draco smirked. "Nah, Blaise will come here in a few minutes, we're planning on using the romantic atmosphere to our advantage."

The Gryffindor shook his head.

"Have fun." He called as he walked out the door and down the stairs.

"Oh, I know I will."

=-=-=--=-=-=-=-

The next day found Draco, Blaise, Pansy and Harry walking in Hogsmeade in a search for a job…hmm, a worthy pureblood job.

Or at least, according to the three purebloods in the group, they were.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked as they turned from the main street and walked down the narrow roads.

Draco sniffed. "Honestly Potter, this is a completely magical town, do you really think that there were only seven shops in it?"

Harry paused. "There aren't?" he asked before berating himself that there must have been others like a magical supermarket or a pre-school.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "It's when you say stuff like that Potter, that one knows you're a blood-traitor." despite her mean words, the point was made.

"So why are we going this way?" Harry asked.

Draco sighed. "The local fair is on today, like every other week."

Blaise groaned. "Why can't we find a normal pureblood job? I mean working in a fair, in the stands, it's just not right."

Pansy smacked the back of his head. "Honestly, I take it it isn't only Potter who's forgetting proper Wizarding ethics. All the good places are probably taken already and even if they weren't, do you really think that I would sell stuff to people who take classes with us? That would go beyond humiliating."

Harry rolled his eyes at their bickering.

"So the local fair, huh? What's in it?"

"You've never been to one?" Draco asked surprised.

"My relatives hate my guts; do you really think they took me anywhere?"

Draco shrugged. "Like I care." Harry glared at him.

"All sorts of stands, stuff that little kids like." At first, Harry didn't understand but a few moments later, he did.

The fair the trio talked about was the most amazing thing Harry had ever seen, there were balloons and stands and large people floating in the air that Harry thought were meant to be like the really tall people Dudley talked about.

The thing that shocked Harry the most was the amount of people that were in the fair. Kids from all sizes and age were running around with their parents holding their toys and running after them.

"Like we said Potter, Hogsmeade is a completely magical town." Draco said as Harry gasped when he saw the local puppet show starring a vicious grim, a knight and his princess and a small real-like model of a fire-breathing dragon.

"Oh wow." Pansy whispered when she saw the clothes stands. "Think we'll get a job here?" she asked Draco.

The blond nodded and walked over to the owner of the stand. "Do you need help?" he asked.

The manager frowned. "You from Hogwarts?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, we're looking for a job for the baby project the ministry assigned."

The manager nodded. "Oh, well I only need one person, which one of you is good with clothing?"

At once Harry, Blaise and Pansy pointed at Draco while said boy pointed at himself.

"Well then, come on, I'll show you what to do." The manager said and turned away.

Draco smirked at his friends. "Have fun selling candy." He walked after the older man.

"No point in staying here, let's go." Harry muttered and the three turned.

On the way, Pansy stopped when she saw a fortune teller stand. With a grin to her friends she repeated the same words Harry used before.

The fortune teller, who insisted they called her Safire, agreed and dressed Pansy up in the proper clothes with the help of several charms and flicks of her wand.

Harry's impression of Pansy as a fortune teller was that she looked a lot like Jasmine from Aladdin the muggle book; with her long black hair and dark eyes, that were only half seen through the shawl and veil she wore.

Sitting for a moment in the back in the dark, Harry and Blaise had the fortune of seeing Pansy's first palm reading.

She sat behind a round table that had a crystal ball on it, and a man was sitting in front of her.

"Yes, I knew you would come here, Bob/Jack/George…Robert?"

"Yes, Robert! That's my name! How did you know?" the man asked amazed and Harry and Blaise swapped stares.

"Yes, Robert, what would like to know?" Pansy ignored his question.

"My friend died a few weeks ago and I really would like to know where he left his will."

Pansy raised a brow, but nonetheless took the man's palm. "Your friend's name start with the letter A, B, C, D, -"

"Yes! Yes! He's name is Don! You're a genius!" Harry and Blaise couldn't take anymore of that and left the tent.

As they were leaving, they could hear Pansy explaining that she knew these things because she was such a great seer.

Bursting out laughing because of that man's stupidity, Harry and Blaise continued in their search of a job.

Half an hour had already gone by and it didn't help that every two minutes Harry stopped to watch the events and different stands, nor the fact that Blaise objected to every suggestion Harry had, stating that it was beneath his level.

When Harry noticed a wide circle of blurry objects racing one after the other at about half his height, he dragged Blaise by the arm to see what that was all about. He slowed down when he saw the sign – 'Broom racing for kids: Feel like a pro Quidditch racer!'

He stepped inside and looked around for the manager. The second the man saw Harry approach he squealed and ran up to him.

"Harry Potter! Great pleasure, absolute honor to see you here at my humble establishment, such as it is," He gestured at his 40 foot racing track and little shack where another teenager was selling tickets to a gang of very loud kids, "what can I ever do for you?" He finished with a flourished bow.

Blaise rolled his eyes and muttered "You can lick his boots and ass while you're down there…"

Harry ignored him.

"Well, I'm sure you know about the project every student at Hogwarts is subjected to…." he smiled in embarrassment.

The manager nodded eagerly. "Do you and your friend need help in getting some money to raise your child?"

Harry nodded. "Oh yes sir, we would love to work for you."

The manager's eyes widened and Harry thought that he just might burst from happiness. "Of course young master Potter! I would love to." he turned and stared around.

"Let's see what you two boys can do…." He paused. "Oh, yes. Mr. Potter if you don't mind, I don't suppose you can help us publish our little track, do you?"

Harry shrugged but Blaise spoke up. "As long as he doesn't have to sell stuff in his name then we're good."

The manager paused. "Of course not, young man. If you'd like, you can help in the cash register," he pointed to the stand of tickets and hats and other products. "You look like you have a good head on your shoulders."

Blaise nodded. "Sure."

"Excellent!!!! Most marvelous indeed!!!!" The old man was bouncing up and down at joy from achieving his target and quickly gestured to Harry the way inside while pointing out the stand to Blaise.

"See you in a few hours Potter." Blaise said and Harry nodded. "Have fun."

Blaise paused before staring at the ticket stand. Seeing the cute boy standing there, Blaise spoke, "Yeah…. I'm sure I will."

Harry bit his lip. "Draco will kill you if you'll cheat on him."

The pureblood sneered. "Draco never said anything about looking." He smirked and left.

Harry sighed and followed the manager, already eager for the time to pass by.

Tbc.

=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=

A/n: DikiCat would like to point out that she is an electronics engineer already, having finished her schooling last week!!!!!! CHEER DAMNIT!!!!!

Right, hmm in September DikiCat will join up while Rock_Junkie will do so in November.

Next episode will be better than this one as well, we kinda lost track of stuff, but don't worry- we will survive.

Both of us have been lazy for the past few weeks and bored at the same time, so if you have any stories you like and think we would like- tell us. (Excellent way to review at the same time while you're at it).

So read and review, and see you next time.


	24. Must be all that inbreeding

**Chapter 24:** **Must be all that inbreeding.**

**(Disclaimer in chapter 1)**

Harry vowed that when all this is over, he will never work with children again. Ever. For as long as he lived. Little monsters.

"Harry Potter! I fell off my broom! MUMMY!!"

"Harry Potter! Harry Potter! She pushed me! Kill her with your scar! Bang!!"

"Harry Potter, can you hold my hand? Wow, you're holding my hand, HE'S HOLDING MY HAND!! LOOK, MUMMY!!"

"Harry Potter smiled at me the longest!"

"No, he smiled at ME the longest! AND he held MY hand!

Now that THAT was finally over with, Harry got his pay for the day and with a very annoyed Blaise (Don't they teach those little brats how to _count_? I said _five_ sickles dammit, FIVE!!), walked around the fair to see if there was anything worth doing to calm down.

There wasn't much there that wasn't for little kids though, but Harry did spot one thing that distinguished out from the rest.

"Blaise look!!!" Harry stopped the older boy by grabbing his hand.

Blaise, however, was not cooperating. "What is it this time, Potter?! I'm tired, annoyed and hungry and did I mention annoyed???!!! I want to find Draco and Pansy and get the hell out of here." He glared at the golden boy who stared at him with wide eyes.

"B…But Cotton Candy…." He pointed to the stand he spotted.

Blaise glared but upon noticing Harry's tearing puppy eyes, he relented. "Oh alright."

Harry beamed and raced them both over to get some.

=-=-=-=

A few moments later Blaise and Harry were finishing their super sized cotton delights and were making their way over to the fortune teller's stand.

Or where the fortune teller's stand used to stand.

"Hmm, what do you think happened?" Harry asked Blaise with a frown, his eyes raking over the burned mark upon the ground.

Blaise shrugged. "Who knows? We'll ask Pansy when we'll find her."

"As long as she didn't burn up like the rest of this thing." Harry gestured at the scorching mark.

Blaise frowned. "Don't you mean burn down?"

Harry shook his head. "Nah ha, something had to have burned up before it burned down."

"Riiiight." The pureblood shook his head and Harry grinned. "Are you going to finish that?" He pointed to the almost finished stick in Blaise's hand.

Zabini smirked. "Of course I am." He took a bite and moaned exaggeratedly at the taste. Harry just rolled his eyes.

"You and Draco are a perfect match to one another." Blaise grinned. "I know."

He paused and stared at the finished stick in his hand. "You know, this **is** really good."

=-=-=-=-=-=

"So where so you think Pansy's is?" The moment the words came out of his mouth, loud shouts and banging noises were heard.

Harry stared at Blaise who stared right back at him. "You don't think…"

Blaise shook his head. "Pansy? Nah, she wouldn't. Would she?"

They hurried over to see what the fuss was all about.

Children from the ages of five to fifteen were surrounding the stand from where banging sounds were heard, each of them eagerly cheering on the person who was making the sounds.

Said person wasn't keeping quiet at all.

"Hell yeah!!! Die!!! You wretched little cat! Like to see you play on your guitar now, you dead feline." Pansy Parkinson cackled evilly as she kept on shooting water from a plastic gun towards plastic cats that randomly popped up on the blank screen.

Each cat was holding a guitar and an annoying tune was heard from them; "Cat cat I'm a cat all you want to be….cat cat I'm a cat that's just me."

Harry and Blaise both noticed that the stand manager was no where in sight and frankly they couldn't blame him as Pansy was scary.

And that was only while holding a plastic** water** gun!!!!

"Die!!!! Die!!!!" Pansy jumped up and down as she fired her gun, her aim incredibly good.

Luckily, for the cats, they soon disappeared and didn't appear again. A winning tune soon followed and the manager got up from under the counter.

"Congratulation young lady." He spoke shakily but to his credit no one noticed.

"I want that one." Pansy wasted no time in saying, and pointed to a big white thing.

The manager, no doubt eager to send her on her way, made no argument and gave it to her. It being a big white bear with a dopey face.

When it reached Pansy, the girl immediately grabbed it and hugged it to her chest.

"Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?" She cooed and when catching sight of the two boys she gave it a pet on the head.

"I mean…it's really fluffy." She paused and put on a disgusted mask. "I mean…it's white." She nodded to herself as if that was what best described the bear more than anything.

Harry shook his head as Blaise tried to tug the bear away from his best friend (she held on tight and he didn't manage).

"Let's just go find Draco."

-=-=-=-=-

"Um. Blaise, do you remember where that clothes shop is? I, um, forgot."

"Of course you would forget Potter. Obviously." Said Blaise.

"Yeah, Potter, what's in your head? Bird shit?" She said, snuggling her giant white fluffy bear.

"Yeah? If you know so much, which way is it then?"

"This way," Blaise and Pansy said at the same time, pointing at two entirely different directions.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "You were saying?"

They just glared at each other. Harry sighed.

"Follow me…"

They walked around the fair for a few minutes, peeking into clothes stands that look like Draco might go into. Finally, they spotted his blond head talking to a tall brunette, and from the look of it, he was staring at her shoes.

They went in to investigate.

"Oh no no _no_, what on _earth_ made you think these were something you can go out with in _public_? What is _up_ with that _ugly_ stuff on your _toes_? And- _yuck_, woman, why are you wearing that _skirt_? Have you _ever_ heard of a little thing called _color coordination_? You look like a troll vomited _all over you_. Show me your nails. _Now_!"

The frightened woman in front of Draco shakily put her hands out, face down for him to inspect.

"Oh my GOD!" He took one of her hands in his and slapped it hard. "Never, EVER, bite your nails! And- my god, you stuck those horrible stone _things_ on your nails. In _Pink_. Your nails are _Magenta_! What are you, _color blind_?"

He put one of his hands on his hip, and with the other he examined her hair.

"Listen honey, you need serious help. Obviously someone's trying to torture mankind with your outfit. Your hair smells like cheap air freshener. Your cloak is the _ugliest_ thing I have ever seen, next to those _shoes_. And don't let me start on your _make up_!"

The shaking woman looked more offended then she had since this whole conversation started. She was at the brink of tears.

"Wha- what's wrong with my makeup? My aunt says it's perfectly fine!"

"Well it looks like your aunt needs glasses. About a cauldron thick, I would imagine. I mean, who did this to you, Bozo the Clown?"

Harry grinned and whispered to Blaise and Pansy, "How does he know about Bozo the Clown?"

Blaise shrugged and Pansy whispered back, "We went to the circus when we were nine."

They went back to the conversation at hand.

"I did this to myself!"

"Here's another thing you can do to yourself- Polyjuice Potion. At least then you'll look normal. Well, considering."

"Considering what?"

"That you have the fashion sense of a blind cockroach in heat."

"EEEWWWWWW!!"

She couldn't take it anymore and she ran away.

The trio couldn't take it anymore either, but they just burst out laughing.

"You're so _cruel_." Blaise cooed before he went to cup Draco's cheek and kissed him on the mouth.

Harry took the opportunity to whisper in Pansy's ear. "And you thought he was _actually straight_?"

Pansy flushed red and ignored him. "Let's just leave, okay?"" She said and hugged her bear.

Of course, that action caused Draco to notice it and squeal at its cuteness. Harry, once more, burst out laughing.

"Where did you get it?" He asked Pansy while stroking the teddy-bear's head; it was the only thing he could touch as Pansy wasn't letting go of it.

"Won it at a firing range." Draco nodded.

"Did you scare the manager again?"

"It's not my fault he's a coward." She sniffed. "You'd think I was hexing him instead of shooting water." She shook her head in disgust.

"Say Pans," Harry ignored her glare at the shortened name and just carried on. "What exactly happened to the fortune teller's stand? We saw burn marks on the ground."

Pansy shrugged. "Well remember that first idiot?" She didn't wait for them to nod and continued. "Well, he wasn't the only one around and one asked me to predict something that was bound to come true in a few moments."

Harry frowned and she explained. "See, I told him that a fire is going to start under his chair. So he ducked down to check, he obviously didn't see anything, right? So as he was opening his mouth to point it out, I kicked the oil lamp the old hag kept in the room." She ignored Harry's scandalized look. "It hit the guy's chair and lighted it on fire so we had to run when the fire got out of control."

Blaise and Draco grinned at her while Harry shook his head. "And he didn't even realize!? What an idiot!"

Pansy nodded. "He wasn't the only one; the witch in charge seemed to think that I really had a gift and just gave me more money for predicting the fire, which, as she says, 'could have started while I was in the room!'" Pansy snorted. "I swear, witches and wizards nowadays…"

Harry nodded. "Must be all that inbreeding." He laughed before starting to run when the three Slytherins took offence.

=-=$%^$%^$^$%-=-=-=

"So where's Lyra?"

"I asked McGonagall to baby sit her for a while. And where's Adam?" Harry shot right back at Pansy.

"Um. He's in the dumpster, I think."

"What?! What do you mean?"

"Well, we didn't want to put It on my bed, It's filthy! And I couldn't exactly leave it on the floor, could I? Someone could trip over It!"

"So you threw It away!?"

"We didn't throw it away! We put it in the trash can." She then added when Harry just kept on staring at her, "For safe keeps!"

Draco cut in, "You do realize the house elves empty the garbage cans every day, right?"

Pansy shrugged. "So?"

"Yeah, what's the big deal?" Added Blaise.

Draco shook his head unbelievingly.

"What do the house elves do with our garbage, anyway?" Asked Harry.

"Vanish it, probably." Said Draco.

"So the baby got vanished?" Pansy asked. "Huh. Do you think McGonagall's gonna have a fit?"

Blaise sighed. "We'll go ask the house elves later…"

=-=-=090-9-90-0-0—0-0-0-0-0--=-=-=-=

So after putting their shopping bags away, all four of them went down to the kitchens to visit the house elves and maybe retrieve the discarded plastic baby.

"Potter, why is there a pair of socks in your hand?" Blaise asked when they got the corridor with the fruit basket portrait.

"It's a gift for Dobby. The little guy _loves_ me." He smirked at the blond.

They went inside.

"Master Harry Potter sir! You came to see me!" Harry was immediately attacked with a fierce hug to his mid section.

"Yup, I'm here to ask you another favor Dobby."

"Anything for Harry Potter sir, Master Harry Potter is the best wizard Dobby knows!"

"Really? Is that so?" Draco said coldly and smirked when Dobby stared at him in horror.

"Old young Master Malfoy sir! What is you doing here? Bad Dobby, Dobby should not ask about Master Malfoy's business, no he should not! Bad Dobby, bad!" Dobby started hitting himself over the head with his hand.

Draco grinned and picked up a metal spoon off of one of the tables. "Here Elf, use this- it's better." He was about to hand it to a distraught Dobby but Harry quickly hit Draco upside the head.

"You're an idiot Malfoy." He turned to the scared house-elf, "you are not to obey any order Malfoy gives you, okay Dobby? Only orders for food, if it stays within reason." Dobby nodded and looked at his savior, relived.

"What can Dobby get for Master Harry Potter sir? Dobby and house elves cook several yummy foods to eat and –"

"No Dobby, it's not about food." He suddenly remembered the socks in his hands and handed them over. "Here Dobby, it's for Halloween."

The house elf stared in shock and reverence at the gift before he took it from Harry with tears streaming down his face. "Master Harry Potter sir is too kind to Dobby, so kind and clever and smart and-"

"Dobby!" Harry sighed and stared around. "Right, hmm Dobby? We're missing a plastic baby," he paused realizing how that sounds. He shook his head. "It's a project for muggle studies and well, Blaise and Pansy here placed their baby in the trash and now it's missing."

Dobby didn't seem surprised at the news and just nodded. "I shall find it, Harry Potter sir." He turned around and went to search in the kitchen for the missing project.

Harry took the chance to turn to Draco with a glare. "What was that about, Malfoy? Dobby is a great house elf; you shouldn't act like that to him!"

Draco sniffed. "It's an elf, Potter; their job is to serve us. And when they don't do it right, they should get punished. I'm just helping him out."

Harry glared at him but Dobby chose that moment to appear with a very dirty baby in his hands. "Is that what's to be missing?" He asked and Pansy nodded.

The baby, upon seeing Pansy, started to cry very loudly. A very stinky smell invaded their senses.

"It needs changing." Harry pointed out the obvious and Pansy groaned as the baby kept on crying; the only thing their malfunctioning baby seemed to care about- diaper rash.

"Fine." She snapped and grabbed the plastic noise maker from the elf's arms. She turned around and banged it uncaringly on the table, completely ignoring the scandalized looks she was getting from Harry and the house-elves around them.

Pansy frowned as she tried to remove the filthy diaper from the baby who kept on grabbing her arms. "Blaise! Hold him!" She commanded the boy who quickly raced over, and to the general shock of everyone in the kitchen, held the baby's arms above his head forcefully. Pansy nodded and quickly finished the change while the baby giggled happily.

"I hope to GOD, you won't become anyone's mother." Harry shook his head as Pansy grabbed the child by his leg and went to the door. "Yeah well, that's what nannies are for." She answered and Harry waved goodbye to Dobby before leaving as well.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The dark night sky glittered with stars and the pale light of the full moon made its way to Harry's spot by the lake.

The boy quietly stretched, feeling the day's stress melt away as he looked at the squid playing in the lake.

Suddenly Harry felt a twinge in his scar on his forehead, something he hadn't felt in a long time, due to his Occlumency.

He was about to block Voldemort's attempts to enter his mind before he froze.

A grin spread his lips wide as an evil idea took over.

Tbc.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

A/n: Wow!!! We did it. Finally we updated our story, aren't you pleased? Though, it isn't our fault as each had their own problems to overcome….**we do have a social life, you know!**

Rock_Junkie just finished her high school career and will now have a little bit more time to write, she is currently working on her story Rabbity Harry which will hopefully come out (Hehehe) in the next month or so. (Writer's block).

DikiCat is going to get her diploma next week in a grand ceremony. Hopefully I won't do anything stupid while at it….

DikiCat's computer is dead to the world and as such B2J which is still DikiCat cannot update stories…which really suck because come on, I have like a ton of ideas and it's just not fair, I mean I could put it down in a notebook but I hate to do so.

But, alas, I must suffer for my art and for your pleasure.

Rock_Junkie and DikiCat loved today's story as it's quite funny, especially Pansy and the bear : )

Hopefully, we'll see you soon.


	25. A phantom and his mask

**Chapter 25: A phantom and his mask.**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

Reflections always had their charm, in Harry's mind; a friend who was always there to tell you the superficial truth, to make you see the deepest parts of yourself, and, if you don't like what you see, you can always wave your hand and make it disappear. Reflections let you ponder, let you see beyond what you think of yourself, help you reminisce and create another reality with one's imagination...

And Harry always loved to use his imagination.

Especially when it comes to annoying other people; namely, dark lords who attempt to invade other people's minds.

Harry smirked as an idea took place in his head. He really ought not to, but since when did Harry care?

The dark haired boy stared into the confines of the lake, watching his smirking reflection.

Oh mirror mirror on the wall….

He closed his eyes and let Voldemort's touch probe more deeply as the image materialized slowly.

_Dark eyes stared out of a white mask of his own design as a hand pressed into his throat, cutting off all circulation and ways of air as Harry lay on the bed completely at the mercy of the mysterious cloaked man._

_"Shhh," The man whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss onto the boy's mouth. "It won't hurt a bit." He soothes the young boy whilst caressing the painted cheeks. "Unless you beg for it." He added and Harry moaned as the hand pressed even tighter._

_"I want…." The child broke off as tears dropped from his eyes, smudging the eye shadow he wore. _

_"Tell me!" The Phantom-like figure ordered as the other hand slowly trailed down Harry's body and massaged the sore muscle between his legs._

_"Yes! That!" Harry begged as he arched into the maddening touch, his throat swallowing convulsively against the choking appendage._

_The man broke off all touch and just stared at his laying companion. The make-up Harry wore was ruined by tear-tracks and yet, one could still see the beautiful mask that was painted on his face. In some ways obscuring the natural beauty that was present and in others; enhancing it._

_A true artist's creation._

_Just like the boy in front of him._

_The man trailed his hand over the boy's body, enjoying the way he shuddered and gasped at his touch. "How long have I waited to have you..." He remarked as he bent over to kiss those ruby-red lips once more._

_"Have me then. It's what we both want." Harry moaned as he grabbed the neck of the black cloak, tugging the man even closer to him._

_The man laughed. His dark and rich voice sent shivers down Harry's spine. "You don't get to boss me little boy." The man sucked the delicate throat deeply, marking him as his own._

_"I get to chose what to give you. I get to enjoy your body. You, boy, are simply here to satisfy my pleasure."_

_Harry moaned as another stroke on his cock teased him into the edge. "Yes, Master! Anything, yours completely, just please don't stop." He begged. _

_"And what will you do if I will?" The question was asked innocently enough, though the fact that the man stopped all caresses as he asked it, turned it wicked. _

_"Er…I'll…" The boy trailed off realizing the futility of his words._

_The man smirked as the white mask glittered in the candle light. "Exactly. You'll beg. Beg for me. For my touch. For anything."_

_Harry shook his head even when he knew the words were true. _His scar burned. _"I won't." He whispered instead and the cloaked figure laughed once more._

_"Oh?" A touch to his hard dick sent him flying and he bit his lip to stop the sounds that so longed to burst. "Cry for me. I want to hear you." Another touch as the man tweaked a nipple with his other hand. _

The lightning bolt scar seared up and Harry, both in memory and flesh, cried out. The boy breathed heavily, no longer feeling the touch of The Dark Lord on his mind.

He smirked, once more staring into the depths of the lake as he recalled the end of the memory.

_"God Gavin, don't stop!! Please just a few more!" The boy begged and the phantom kissed him hard. "Anything, my Lilo."_

If anyone was awake at the late time they could hear mad laughter coming from the grounds.

Yes, Harry thought, the idea of the Phantom of the Opera sleeping with the angel Lilo Sky was a great one for the Halloween movie.

And if the phantom and his mask looked _slightly_ familiar, well… it wasn't Harry's fault.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Harry was grinning widely as he walked inside the great hall for breakfast the next day. His scar burned frequently and while irritating, it sure made him smile when he thought of Voldemort's future reactions to the memory.

Right before he took a seat at the Gryffindor table, he heard hurried footsteps and someone calling his name. Turning around, he paused when he noticed the bright red hair of one Ginevra Weasley.

"Ginny?" He asked with a frown and the girl took the moment to jump into his arms and bestow kisses all over his face.

"Oh Harry! Thank you for the best night of my life!!! I never felt anything like it and I- _Wow_!!!!" She grinned at the confused boy and hastily whispered in his ear, "The Book of Sugar and Cream is the best book I have ever read!!! I mean, a book that shows you your inner most feelings and desires? Wow!" She hugged him more tightly and Harry grinned at her.

"Told you you'd like it." He murmured before saying wickedly, "Now get off of me, you're heavy."

Ginny snorted; she weighed the same as Harry did, but nonetheless got off the boy and sat next to him at the table, ignoring the glare her brother sent.

"So," She poured him juice while he loaded food on both their plates. "You look like you've been up to mischief. Care to share?" When Harry stared at her, she explained. "It's the same look Fred and George have." Harry nodded and quickly whispered the happenings of the other night.

Ginny burst out laughing and almost fell off her chair. "I swear Harry; the twins are such a bed influence on you."

Harry shrugged with a small grin. "Nah." He shook his head as he spooned some food from his plate.

Suddenly, Harry, and everyone else in the hall, heard the sounds of a chair scraping violently and turned almost as one (because if it was as one, then it would have been creepy) to look at the head table, where one Severus Snape had stood up, clutching his left forearm to his chest and looking really pale.

"Severus!" Dumbledore cried out; making all those who hadn't paid attention, look up. "What is the matter, dear boy?"

The potions master glared at the old man. "Feeling a bit ill, headmaster. Must be something I _ate_." He sneered at the food.

At those words, one of the teachers who didn't know about Snape's extra-curriculum activities pushed her food away from her, hurriedly saying, "I'm not hungry anymore."

Dumbledore, however, nodded. "Of course." He surveyed the dark man through his glasses. "Shall I cancel your morning classes, then?"

Snape nodded and Harry heard most students cheer quietly. "I hope you feel well soon." The headmaster finished and Snape left the hall in a hurry.

Harry's scar burned once more.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Meanwhile at a Dark Lord's lair:

A hooded figure rubbed his hands together as he cackled evilly at his followers.

"Today we shall finally defeat the justice league!!!!"

A/n: oops, wrong evil lair…..

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Meanwhile at _our_ Dark Lord's lair:

"I have called you all here so I could get some answers _straight_." Voldemort shivered at the last word.

The death eaters that surrounded him frowned at their lord. Intrigued and scared at the same time.

"I have come across a certain memory that interested me." The Dark Lord paused at his choice of words. "A memory that I found strange." He nodded to himself, further confusing his audience.

"It seems that one of my own has betrayed me!" He spat out much to their surprise.

The order's spy shivered at the tone of voice as he hoped against hope.

"Who my lord? Please tell us who would do such a thing!" Bellatrix Lestrange called out, staring at The Dark Lord with adoration.

Voldemort looked at his most loyal thoughtfully, effectively scratching her from the suspect list, due to her being a woman. "But that's it, my dear Bellatrix. The memory only showed me the mask and cloak of the betrayer, not the face or name." He cursed himself for the foolishness of leaving the boy's mind before discovering those things.

"I do know, however, that it is a man. So I'll give you all a choice," He stared at his silent crowd. "Either you step up and admit it here, in which case I'll be merciful, or…. Or I'll torture you till the end of time."

Obviously, no one stepped up.

After a moment of silence, Lucius Malfoy spoke up. "Forgive me my lord, but may I ask of the crime?"

The Dark Lord Voldemort stared at his blond servant, crossing him out of the list as well; the long, blond hair was quite distinctive.

He almost sighed in relief that his two most loyal truly were loyal and decided to answer the man.

"One of you…has slept with **Harry Potter**!!!!"

Tbc.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A/n: We know it's short but it just had to stop here. Or else it wouldn't be as fun….

We, as in DikiCat and Rock_Junkie, your favorite writers, are proud to say that we finished one more episode.

Yay.

DikiCat: Our a/n's lately are a bit weird, don't you agree?

Rock_Junkie: I suppose, it's just that we don't really have much to say lately, do we?

DikiCat: True. Want to hear something funny? (Rock_Junkie shakes her head) I'll take that as a yes.

Rock_Junkie: Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

DikiCat: wow! You're eager!! Okay, so remember how I told you that I talk to myself out loud whenever I have a story conversation going on? And then tell myself to stop talking out loud? Well, one time my sister wanted to meet up and your favorite girl was walking down the street, not noticing that not only was she talking to her self out loud once more but was also hand waving in the major parts. When my sister told me that, I was like so red because come on, I sooo didn't notice that I was doing that.

Must be the reason people looked at me funny.

Rock_Junkie: No? Y'think?

DikiCat nods: Yeah. It's almost like whenever I cross the street and I'm thinking of stories, I never pay attention to the red light/green light and I just cross it. One time I did it and realized that I didn't notice if it was green, I looked back and it wasn't and not only that but the road was packed with cars.

So in conclusion- fanfiction can kill you if you're not careful.

Rock_Junkie stars: Ooookay, that's yeah….anyhow, I'm looking for a job at the moment because I want some real money before I had off to the army in November (DikiCat will leave in September) but don't worry, we will still update, never fear.

DikiCat: But what if we won't???!!!! What if the story will never be updated and our readers will never know how it ends???!!!! *sobbing in a truly unbelievingly dramatic fashion*

Rock_Junkie: Then I'm sure our readers will understand. *she notices the glares her readers send out* or maybe not….

We'll update, we will!!!!! Swear to all that is kinky and dirty!!!!!

See ye next time.

R&R.


	26. Cross my heart!

**Chapter 26: Cross my heart!**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

There were cries of surprise and fright in the small kitchen that also doubled as the Order's Headquarters at Grimmauld Place when a hooded figure in a black cloak limped with difficulty into the room, then stumbled and fell to the floor in pain, clutching his left arm and convulsing violently. The occupants of the kitchen immediately pointed their wands at the newcomer, all but one as the oldest of them recognized an ally.

"Severus! Molly, please hand me the three vials in the cabinet behind you, quickly, we don't have much time," Said Dumbledore, making his way to the man on the floor with haste. "Make room, everyone, he needs air. Remus, Help me put him in a chair. Thank you Molly."

They got Severus to sit down on a wooden chair and Dumbledore, with great care, got the injured man to swallow the contents of all three vials one by one, and in a certain order.

The man coughed and shook, still not fully healed but recovering quickly.

"Severus. Severus, can you speak?"

Severus opened his mouth and let out a raspy "Water…"

"Tonks, if you please- Thank you."

He drank the water slowly, letting each drop help in soothing his aching throat and dry mouth.

Finishing his cup, he coughed again and swallowed, trying to keep his responses to a minimum.

"The Dark Lord has been asking us questions, testing our loyalty." Severus whizzed out as Molly handed him another glass of water.

"What did he ask you?" Dumbledore asked wondering if his spy has been found.

Severus hesitated. Potter was playing a dangerous game and Severus knew that if he told Dumbledore about it, then he would never find out the whole truth for himself. So it really left, "He's been asking about our… sex life."

The murmurs sprouted almost instantly and Severus winced as they grated on his aching head.

"What!!!!? I…don't…please explain Severus?" Dumbledore was baffled, that certainly wasn't what he expected to hear.

Sirius was heard muttering "What sex life?" causing some people to snicker and Severus to sneer at him, "Oh? And when was the last time you had sex, fourteen… fifteen years ago?" which shut Sirius up quite effectively.

"Severus!" Dumbledore chastised and the spy effectively ignored him.

"The meeting had started out normally…we were torturing some muggles, raping one or two women and so on," he ignored the shocked/scandalized looks he got and carried on, "and then he started going on about…about someone who betrayed him."

"You mean Voldemort has a spy?" The old headmaster asked, erasing the parts of the conversations that Severus considered normal. "But how does this have anything to do with your…relations?"

Severus shrugged, "It seems that this spy has been sleeping around with one of you…light figures."

The order was startled to say the least. "OMG, who?" Tonks asked eagerly, her eyes jumping from one person to another.

"No one stepped up."

Mad-eye snorted, "Let me guess, the Dark Lord offered eternal torture for the one who will?" Severus nodded.

"But surely you must have an idea who that person is? The one from the order?" Arthur asked and Severus stared him in the eyes as he answered that he didn't have a clue.

The order deflated and Dumbledore stroked his beard in agitation, "This is quite disturbing to hear." Severus rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to say 'No, duh?' (He must be spending too much time around those brats).

The spy stood up; "If we are finished?" He didn't wait for an answer and simply walked in the direction of the door, mindful of his injuries.

"Keep us informed, Severus!" Dumbledore cried out and this time Severus didn't resist his actions as he called out 'Whatever'.

As the spy left the room, leaving a small trail of blood to mark his exit, the order turned to one another for answers.

"Oh, come on!!!" Tonks groaned as she sat on a chair in the kitchen.

Lupin nodded gravely, "Yes… it is shocking-," The woman cut him off. "-I know! Death-eaters are getting more action that I am!!!"

It's obvious no one knew how to comment.

-=-%^&%&%^=-you've got to admit=-I'm awesome!!!=-=%^&%^&%^

"That's it!" Tonks exclaimed as she slammed the door to Sirius and Remus' room after her, later that evening.

"Tonks!" The couple screamed in surprise, covering themselves, caught in the act.

"What? Don't let me stop you. In fact, please, continue, I'd love a free show…"

"Tonks, what the hell are you _doing_ here?" Sirius asked.

"Like I said, I've _had_ it. All the Order members here are having sex. I'm betting the teenagers in this house are having sex. Even the _Death Eaters_ are having fucking sex. Everyone except _me_!"

They just stared at her.

"Anyway," She continued, walking to the closet in the corner, "where do you keep your leather jackets?"

"Uh…Third from the top, left side… Why?" Sirius said wryly.

"I'm going out. Do you think this will go with my purple skirt and black stockings?"

"Out?"

"Yes, Remus, out. As in outside. You do know what that means, right? Or does Sirius keep you locked in bed all day? Out. To have sex."

Remus pondered to himself out loud, "He does tend to get a bit possessive…"

Sirius kissed him on the cheek. "And you love it."

Tonks leaned against the closet, looking on in interest. "So will I get a free show after all?"

"Good night Tonks." Remus said.

"Oh! There are some free condoms in the bottom drawer, help yourself."

"Thanks Sirius! Oooo, cherry flavored, Kinky!" And she left.

But she couldn't help but linger outside the door when she heard that they kept talking.

"Sirius!"

"What? I have to do my cousin-y duty and help her…"

"Cherry flavored?"

"Yeah… Want a demonstration?"

"Mmmmmmm…"

That's when Tonks decided that doing is better than listening outside the door.

=-#$#$#$$2=-=-=-=Oooh, yeah. =-=-=$%^$%^$%^$

It turned out that there really _was_ a club called "The Shack", just outside of town. Who knew?

She sat at the bar, checking out the guys and enjoying the music and the drink she was holding.

"Hi, can I buy you a drink?" Was said so suddenly that she jumped and dropped her glass.

"Well, I guess you can now," She answered nervously, turning to look at the guy who spoke to her.

"Didn't mean to scare you, sorry." He said, signaling the barman to get them two more drinks.

"That's okay… I'm a klutz anyway. So what's your name?"

"Jonathan, at your service."

"I'm Tonks."

"Tonks? That's an odd first name."

"It's my last. My first name is even stranger, so I stuck with the last."

"Nice to meet you, Tonks last name. I take it your parents were nuts when they named you?"

"I like to think that my mother was stoned. My dad's simply crazy by nature."

"I know for a fact that my mother was stoned when she had my sister and me. But I guess that every mother would be stoned if they pumped her full of pain killers all day…"

"Dude. TMI."

Jonathan laughed. "Right. Sorry."

"So, what's your day job?"

"I work in the film industry."

"Really? What do you do?"

"I'm the director."

"Are you sure that's not just a pick-up line?"

He chuckled. "I like you." He picked up his drink and made a little toast to her. "To pick-up lines that are actually true for once!"

"I'll match that, and raise you; to guys who use pick-up lines when they really don't need them!"

The dark haired man raised his glass. "I'll drink to that." And took the shot. Tonks followed.

She frowned when she noticed Jonathan staring at her.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just that you seem to be able to swallow quite easily." His lips twitched.

Tonks raised one eyebrow at him.

"You're coming on strong," She commented.

"Yeah, I do that a lot."

She looked at him for a second and then she started giggling when she realized how that can be interpreted.

Jonathan smiled. "So, what do _you_ do for money?"

"Oh," The auror leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper, "I'm an under-cover cop. Don't tell anybody, but I'm on a secret mission, _right now_."

"Really? What mission?"

"To take in bad boys who entice naughty little girls at bars."

"Hmm. Am I succeeding?"

"Not too bad, actually,"

"So, since I'm guilty as charged, are you going to take me in?"

"I would, but unfortunately, I forgot my handcuffs…"

"I got some at my place, if you want. My bedroom, to be exact."

Tonks jumped off her stool, picked up her jacket from the counter and turned to Jonathan. "So are you coming, or what?"

"Oh, at least three times, I hope," he said, finished his drink in one gulp and followed the laughing woman out the door.

=-=-=#$%^#$%$ Castiel is dean's true love $%%%3=-=-=

The next few days weren't that bad in Harry's opinion.

Weasel and bookworm seemed to have gotten a clue at last and were leaving him alone, Dumbledore stopped staring at him so much (which was starting to creep him out) and Severus was staring at him more (which caused for some hot bathroom breaks).

So really he shouldn't be feeling like this.

But he was.

And it was all Voldemort's fault.

Well, technically, he started it, so it was partially _his_ fault, but who worries about stupid details like these nowadays anyway?

"Harry, I really think you should go to Madam Pomphary." Neville commented, staring at his friend with concern. "I'm sure she has something for your scar if it itches."

Harry shook his head. "It isn't an itch, it's a burn and I doubt she has anything for internal head pain thingies."

Neville frowned. "But why does it hurt?"

"Voldemort." Harry answered and ignored the other boy's twitch at the feared name. "I think he's pissed at me."

The dark haired boy cocked his head at Neville's direction when he noticed him staring. "What?"

The clumsy teenager smiled. "You just said that you _think_ that you-know-who is pissed at you _after_ he tried to kill you for the past _seven years_." Harry grinned right back at him.

"Well, I've been told I'm a bit thick-headed." They laughed until Harry winced once more.

"Harry, go to Madam Pomphary."

Harry wrinkled his nose. "You sound like Granger." The other boy glared and sniffed. "No need to be rude, Harry."

The boy-who-lived nodded. "I think I'm going to talk to Ginny. She might help me ignore the pain." He lifted his eyebrows suggestively and Neville burst out laughing.

It took Harry several minutes to find Ginny and that was only because he finally remembered to use the marauders map.

When he did, he couldn't help but spill everything that happened leaving Ginny staring at him shocked.

"Really? You did this, everything?" Harry nodded.

"You swear on your life?"

"Cross my heart and hope to turn straight."

"Ugh, don't be disgusting." He shrugged at her.

"So now what?"

"Frankly I don't know. Things are going to plan…or almost to plan, and I'm happy."

"Well you know what this means, right?" Harry shook his head. "No, what?"

"I guess it's about time we use the dream potion the twins gave me."

"I knew I like you for a reason."

Tbc.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A/n: Alright, sorry for the long long long long long long wait but we couldn't help it. DikiCat is in the army and the only thing she wants to do all day is sleep and I mean the boring kind and me, well; I wallow around in my writers block and do nothing useful.

It's strange isn't it? The best stories we have are when the two of us are sitting together and think about them, just tossing ideas around.

We make such a good team.

DikiCat: I've missed it.

Rock_Junkie: I should say the same, but then I would be lying (sticks tongue at her) nah, I'm kidding.

DikiCat: well, now we'll try to write more as hopefully while I'm taking courses I won't be as tired and the base is only half an hour away so I'll be home soon.

Rock_Junkie: can you guys believe it? We are only four chapters close to thirty chapters and the story has been running for almost two years now!!!!

DikiCat: we really are lazy, huh? Two years and only twenty six chapters? I know of some stories where they had that in a couple of months!

Rock_Junkie: but I bet their stories weren't as awesome and amazing like ours!!!!!!

True.

Because you've got to admit….We're awesome!!!!!

And you love us.

Till next time, R&R.


	27. I could hear you screaming

**Chapter 27: I could hear you screaming.**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

"Are you sure your **Master** isn't here?" Ginny asked him for the millionth time and Harry nodded impatiently. "Yes, I'm sure. The marauders map doesn't lie."

Ginny shrugged as she saw the boy working a muggle hair pin into the lock and trying to break it open. "Okay Gin, I've almost got it, so be ready to cast a good banishing charm on the door when I give you the signal….ready? Now!" There was a sudden click and a hurried bang that broke through the silence of the dungeons.

"Where did you learn to do that?" The girl asked as she entered the room.

"Tonks told me about how she stalked one of her suspects once; she had to find some evidence." Ginny nodded and continued to look around.

"Wow, his place looks _normal_." The girl commented as she saw the beautifully decorated room, filled with just enough to not clutter.

"Yeah…" Harry pouted and Ginny snorted. "Don't worry Harry, maybe he keeps the chains and whips in his bedroom."

Harry perked up and together they went on to explore Professor Snape's rooms.

"Bathroom." The red head declared and went in search of another door.

"I think I found his lab." Harry called out and Ginny frowned.

"That's the kitchen and living room, so where's the bedroom?" She turned on the spot and Harry shook his head.

"This is so not fair, the only chance I'll ever get to see if the man sleeps in a _coffin_ and I can't even find his damn room."

"Don't worry Harry; I'm sure we'll have enough time." Ginny consoled him and just like that, they could hear footsteps walking down the hallway through the open door.

"Quick, shut the door." Harry whispered and Ginny hurried to obey, both kids running over to the study.

"Where do I put it?" Harry muttered before his eyes lit up when he saw the whiskey bottle standing on the side table.

He hurried over but right before he poured the bottle in, Ginny stopped him. "Don't you ever listen? Alcohol interferes with the whole process!"

"Then where…?" He trailed off as a deviant look appeared on his face. "His toothbrush!" He whispered and Ginny stared.

"But you won't be able to make it, he's coming this way."

"Then I'll have to hurry." Before Ginny had a chance to argue, Harry was out the door, racing towards the first room Ginny pointed out.

"Quickly Harry!" She moaned and soon enough the boy was back in the room with her.

Right as he shut the door, they heard the front door creaking as it opened.

"Now what do we do?" Ginny stared at him wide eyed and Harry looked around searching for a way out. His eyes landed on a statue of a snake and he absently answered Ginny. "_**We need an exit!**_"

Hearing Ginny's gasp, made Harry aware of the language he was using. Though, when one of the walls moved and revealed a hidden passageway he found himself not caring.

Both teens stared at one another before they raced to it.

"_**Close.**_" Harry hissed, closing the door behind them as they started walking down the darken path.

-==-=-=-

"Man, that was close," Ginny whispered in the darkness of the dungeon pass, Harry's wand the only light.

"Yeah, good thing old Salazar had the whole castle connected. I just thought they were sewer pipes and stuff, but if the Basilisk got through, I guess I should have figured they'd be big enough for humans too. Oh, yuck, look, dry snake shit."

"What? Oh, eww."

They tried to walk around the big pile of droppings and came up to two flights of stairs, one up, the other down.

"Let's go up, it might get us closer to getting out of here."

They kept walking for what seemed like hours, climbing up stairs and turning corners, and still there was no sign of an exit to known Hogwarts territory. They got to a junction of four passages each as dark and chilly as the other, and they stood still, not knowing where to go next.

"Great. As if we wanted to get _anymore_ lost," Ginny said, looking around her at the four hallways, "at this rate we'll never get out of here."

"At least we weren't caught," Harry said feebly, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Yeah, well_ now_ what? We _don't _serve detention while we're stuck here?" She said sarcastically.

"We just need to figure out were the hell we are. We went up about five or six flights of stairs, turned left a lot-"

"For Merlin's _sake _Harry, just take out the map, will you?"

"Oh, right," He said, taking out the map and opening it. He stared at it. "That can't be right…"

"What?"

"I can't find us anywhere. No, wait…" he turned the map a certain way. "Like this it looks like we're stuck in a wall behind the blackboard in Charms. But that can't be right either, since there's another classroom right next to it…"

"Huh. So that's where we are. Stuck in a wall."

"Come on."

He led her to the corridor in the middle, which goes straight ahead. They walked a while longer, with no real indication of change of location in the walls. They all looked the same, with their black stone and narrow passages.

"So…." Harry said as they kept walking along, "How are things with Luna, so far?"

"Like you really care." Ginny muttered, obviously not happy at being stuck in the middle of nowhere.

"Of course I don't, like I want to hear about a pair of dykes eating each others pussy."

"And guys blowing each other's cocks is any better?"

"Well if it's two unbelievingly hot guys, it sounds great to me."

"Then _eating pussy _is what I do."

They were quiet for a few moments.

"Are you any good at it?"

"Harry! How dare you suggest otherwise!" Ginny feigned offense and Harry giggled.

"So are _you_ good at sucking cock?" Ginny asked right back and Harry nodded with a smirk.

"Course I am, wouldn't have survived this long in the business otherwise."

Ginny nodded thoughtfully. "I guess. I wonder if there are any porn stars that are bad at sucking cock but look so good on screen that it doesn't matter."

"None that I've met."

"What if _Master Snape_ is a lousy cocksucker?"

"Nah, I don't care. I'm more than willing to suck his cock, epically since he'll fuck me into the mattress after, and as long as he's good at _that_, I have no problems."

He walked on and waited for Ginny's comeback. And waited. And waited.

"Oh come on, Gin. It wasn't even that crude to offend your delicate sensibilities. You heard worse things than that." Yet the girl still remained quiet. "Gin? Ginny?"

He turned around but all he saw were the black walls of the tunnel surrounding him. He went back a few steps; _perhaps she stopped for a breather?_

"Ginny? Gi- Fuck!" Harry exclaimed when he leaned on one of the walls and almost fell. His eyes widened when he saw a hole in the crumbling wall, big enough that a human could fall in.

Big enough that Ginny could have fallen in.

"Shit. Why is it always me?"

-==

Ginny screamed in terror when she fell down the damn tunnel. Though, as she flew down the slide, her screams slowly turned to those of pure joy and happiness.

_This is so much fun_! She couldn't help but think as she turned sharply to the left.

The tunnel began to whirl taking the redhead with it and suddenly, it turned directly ninety degrees down.

"Fuuuuuuuck!"

It hurt. Her ass fucking hurt.

_This must be how Harry feels half the time._

She landed _two fucking inches_ from the bed. _Why_ couldn't she have landed on the fucking _bed_?

_Harry must be contagious_, she couldn't help but think. Only he could have such bad luck.

"Um, who are you?" A small voice piped out and startled her.

On the bed were a bunch of scared Ravenclaw boys, first years by the look of it.

"Do not be afraid! I come in peace!!" She placed both her hands in front of her before she let them fall as she mused out-loud. "Well sometimes I come screaming, but only in falling circumstances."

They just kept staring at her in fear.

"Er, boo?"

"Ahhhhhhh!" all four kids raced out of the room as fast as they can, leaving the new visitor behind them.

"And I thought Ravenclaws are sensible creatures."

-=.-=-

"Have you seen Luna?" Ginny asked some girl once she walked down the stairs.

"What are you doing here? You're a Gryffindor." The girl pointed out and Ginny rolled her eyes. "No. Really? I had no idea. So have you seen her?"

The girl shrugged. "Loony's always missing." She said before going back to her book.

Ginny glared at the girl before jumping when a voice suddenly spoke behind her.

"Hello Ginevra."

The girl held her chest as she turned around to her missing lover. "Luna! Don't do that!"

"Do what?" the pale haired girl asked while twirling a lock of hair. "Did you have fun sliding down?"

Ginny frowned. "How did you know about that?"

Luna smiled dreamily. "I could hear you screaming." Ginny blushed. "I don't think anyone else heard it though, the FlyBugs were buzzing around and distracting them."

Ginny stared for a moment before deciding she didn't want to know.

Or maybe she did.

Harry's curiosity was probably contagious too.

"What are FlyBugs?"

"I would have thought you knew already Ginny, after all they came from the same direction you did."

Ginny paused. "You mean the bunch of screaming first years?"

Luna nodded happily. "Of course. The FlyBugs like to posses children because their mind is more chaotic."

"Right." Ginny looked around the common room. "Wanna help me look for Harry? He's stuck in a wall."

"Good thing it's not a closet or he would have had to come out." Luna spoke seriously and Ginny giggled.

=-=-.=-=-=-==-=-

Unfortunately it wasn't until dinner that Ginny finally found the missing hero. Not that she looked very hard. She knew he would pop out soon enough.

And she was right.

Not that it stopped her from getting angry when she saw him eating dinner at the Hufflepuff table looking like he didn't have a care in the world.

"Potter!" she snapped once she and Luna came near him. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Really?" Harry looked surprised. "Why would you do that? I didn't look very hard for you."

Ginny frowned and took a seat at the table. "Why? What if I got stuck somewhere and I was slowly dieing and then when you finally remembered me, you would have found a rotting _corpse_?"

Harry raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "The map said you showed up in Ravenclaw." He took a bite. "Plus the basilisk is dead and you don't write in a diary anymore. I knew you'd be fine."

"And how did you get here so fast? I fell before you did."

Harry shrugged again. "Ended up in Hufflepuff. I met Hannah in the common room, and she invited me for lunch."

"Harry? It's dinner time."

He nodded. "I know. But we talked a lot when we were there so she decided to change her invite."

"Oh." Ginny shook her head. "So did you hit anything on the way?"

Hannah answered before Harry had the chance. "He fell from the ceiling, which scared the _hell_ out of me, and hit the book case _so hard_ the shelves broke and the books fell all over him. Lucky I was the only one there, he would have gotten a stern talking to for coming in like that."

Ginny winced but Harry just grinned. "I didn't break anything." Ginny rolled her eyes. "I knew you were contagious."

"Whatever you say, Ginny. Anyway, Hannah, as I was saying, before I was _oh _so rudely interrupted- um, what was I saying again?"

"Something about, uh," Hannah blushed slightly.

"-Oh, right, exactly. Go and ask him out. You two are perfect for one another."

"What? Who?"

"Neville. Duh. Go ask him! It'll be fun!"

Hannah stared at him. "But I thought we were talking about- you know…" She blushed some more.

"Sex!" Harry exclaimed and everybody looked at him.

"Harry…" Hannah muttered and lowered her head to avoid the staring.

"No, really, go and ask him out! You'll fall in love and finally _have_ some! Go!" He started pushing her off her seat.

"But-"

"Go!"

She left, looking really nervous and slightly confused.

"Do you think she's gonna ask for sex when she sees him?" Ginny said, sitting beside him.

"Probably, I confused her way to much for her not to."

They were proven right when a sudden shriek of "WHAT!!" echoed around the Gryffindor table.

"NO! I, I just," The girl looked down at the floor and said something quietly.

"OH! Um," Neville was beat red. "Sure, Hannah, I'll go with you… As long as you don't mix your words ever again."

She smiled, still blushing as deep as he. "Sure."

Harry and Ginny were sitting in the common room, staring at the ceiling.

"I wonder where _our_ secret hatch is. We could totally hang a disco ball from there or something,"

"You mean, after we stick it up there with a sticking charm?"

"Oh, right. Well, it'll make a great water slide, if we had a pool."

"You mean, after we drown the whole common room?"

"Why do you have to shoot down my ideas all the time?"

"I'm not shooting them down, I'm crossing them out!"

They sat like that for a while longer.

"Ginny, I'm feeling kinda weird… What's going on?"

"Your brain is committing suicide?"

"Very funny. No, I feel like… something's about to happen. Something big. Anticipation, that's it. Is that normal?"

"Since when anything that happens to you is normal?"

"No, wait, I…"

The tingling sensation traveled to a new, more interesting place.

"Never mind, I'll just go to bed. I have a feeling… my love will visit me tonight. G'night!"

He vanished upstairs.

"Oh… The potion!" Ginny understood. She giggled. "Good night indeed!"

Tbc.

* * *

A/n: Wow! That took a long time to finish. But we did it!!!!! Yay us!!!!!!

Rock_Junkie and DikiCat don't know when they'll update next because Rock_Junkie holds the computer hostage and she's joining up in less then a week! Time flies so fast… (Sob).

Tell her good luck, she's going to be a foreign affairs people thingy. Which is cool.

DikiCat pouts.

Rock_Junkie: What is it, dear?

DikiCat: I really wanted Hannah to talk like I said. You know, with tons of exclamation marks?

Rock_Junkie: No! I forbid it! It's bad enough you made kitty-eyes at me so I'll put it back in the keyboard but that's just pushing it!

DikiCat huffs: Can I tell them the joke you told me?

Rock_Junkie nods.

DikiCat: Cool. See? That's how you perk up in the middle of a boring work day-

Knock knock.

Who's there?

You know.

You know, who?

Exactly! Avada Kedavra!

Funny, huh? I laughed myself silly.

Oh! You know what we just noticed? The entire chapter is staring Ginny and Harry. Strange but rest assured it might not happen again.

Rock_Junkie: Might not? You do realize that's not a real promise, right?

DikiCat: Well, it's not like we control it, it's the fanfics gods!

Rock_Junkie: Yeah, see what I have to deal with? But I can't help but love her!!!

Yay!!!!! I got away with using the exclamation mark!!!!!!!!! I love you too!!!!!!!

R&R.

Oh, and HAPPY HOLYDAYS!!!!!!


	28. Puff, the Magical Dragon!

**Chapter 28: **Puff, _the Magical Dragon_**!**

(Disclaimer in chapter 1!)

The great hall was decorated wonderfully in black and orange streamers, with live bats and giant pumpkins spread around. Instead of the usual house tables, the hall had a bunch of round tables just like in Christmas time at fourth year, with each having black tablecloth and a lone lit candle, giving it a somewhat private/creepy air.

Everybody was walking and mingling around, listening and dancing to the music that sprung from the enchanted instruments up on the stage, having the time of their life.

**Bang!**

The great hall's doors slammed open and a dark figure entered them, glaring maniacally at the shocked students and faculty with its red devil eyes.

He crossed the high doors and stood at the entrance, raising a brow at the orchestra who had changed its tune to something more fitting to a horror movie when he walked through the doors.

"Are you supposed to be a vampire with the munchies?" A small first year asked the unnaturally pale figure.

The man turned his stare towards the young student and bared his teeth in a snarl. "No!" He growled. "I'm the dark lord Voldemort, duh!" He declared and most students snorted and turned back towards their previous business.

He turned to look behind him. "Now where the hell is my entourage!" He growled and those who actually kept on staring (though no one could guess why *shrug*) saw one Ginevra Weasley crossing the doors whilst skipping.

"Ta da!" she grinned up at the dark lord. "Puff, _the Magical Dragon _is heeeeere!" she sing-songed and Voldemort pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Ginny, dark lords don't have magical dragons." He started but Ginny shook her head. "Sure they do, Harry!" she nodded importantly, giving a small twirl that showed off her scaly green body and blue-ish wings.

"Well, **this** dark lord doesn't!" Harry growled.

Ginny paused. "I think Voldemort would have loved it if he had a magical pet dragon. I mean wouldn't you?"

Harry sighed. "Where's Draco?"

Ginny grinned. "We have captured the fairy called Draco after he tried to escape, again, and now Blaise…I mean the Dementor is keeping guard over him." She saluted Potter, sending a bunch of sparkling blue-green glitter in the air.

"Where?"

Ginny shrugged. "Somewhere around here." She gestured the huge hall and Harry sighed once more. "I see."

"Really? You do? Then where is he?" Ginny bounced up and gazed around the hall.

"Ginny! Never mind." The dark lord walked towards the buffet table, eager to eat some meat-pie.

-=%^$%^$=I don't care==$%^$%^$

"I can't believe you got me into this. Look at me- No, wait,** don't **look at me! You'll get everyone's attention, dammit! Hide me!"

"Come on Drake, it's not so bad…" Blaise said, trying not to show how amused he was.

"Not so bad? Not so BAD? She- I- TUTU!"

"I think it suits you well. You look all sparkly! And besides, you know better then to enter a bet with Pansy. I mean, what were you thinking?"

"How was I supposed to know she already rigged the whole thing?"

Blaise sighed.

"Well anyway, I am in charge of making sure you don't escape again. You shall not leave! For I am a fearsome Dementor! Deify me, and you will suffer!"

Draco huffed. "And what can you possibly do to me?"

"I shall suck out your soul with my tantalizing kiss!"

Draco raised his eyebrows in interest. He moved closer to the other boy. "Suck my soul, huh? That doesn't sound so bad…"

"I see you two are enjoying yourselves," Pansy said, interrupting something that could have become inappropriate for children and _way _to revealing at this point.

"Well _hello_, Pansy," Draco said acidly, causing Blaise to roll his eyes and the girl to grin widely, "found any _more_ innocent people to rip off?"

"Draco darling, you were never innocent. In fact, I think the last time you were was when you were five years old and even then I was suspicious. Besides, I think this getup is a great idea. Pink is SO your color!" She giggled.

Draco fumed and muttered curses to himself.

=-34$=-=I miss spn==^&^

Harry frowned when he saw what looked like a mountain of mushrooms and grass standing in front of him. He paused and blinked when he realized that it was a part of Luna' costume.

"Luna." Harry paused. "What _are_ you?"

The dreamy eyed girl stared at him for a mere moment. "I am mother earth." She spoke airily and Harry nodded. "I see." He took in the entire effect and had to admit that it looked magnificent.

What he took for at first to be a mountain of mushrooms and grass was really Luna's torso which was painted/ charmed different shades of brown and what looked like fake- no, real mushrooms sticking out of it. Her shoulders and upper arms were a light green color with small tufts of grass growing all over them whilst the rest of her body alternated between simple soils and bursting flowers.

"Are you a Zam-bee-fire?"

"A what?"

"A Zam-bee-fire. They're the older cousins of the vampires. The lore says that their eyes were as red as blood because the stared into the sun too long." She nodded. "That's why most vampires don't go out at daylight anymore. Red eyes don't suit just everyone, you know?"

"Right." Harry shrugged. "I'm really not a Zam-bee-fire Luna. I'm Voldemort." He explained and Luna turned her bright blue eyes at him. "Are you really?" she paused. "Would it be okay if the quibbler publishes this? After all it's not everyday that someone reveals that he is in fact a Dark Lord."

"Sure Luna, have fun." But when he turned back around, she already left.

He sighed again.

"So, are you supposed to be you-know-who?" an Irish voice asked and Harry turned around to see Seamus and Dean standing near by. "We're warlocks." Dean explained at Harry's frown.

"Oh. And yes, I am the Dark Lord." He sniffed as he was offended they thought otherwise.

"You don't look much like a Dark Lord, you know." Seamus quipped and Harry gaped at him. "Sure I do!" He exclaimed. "I even have a snake!" Potter pulled a huge green and black snake out from the inside of his cloak and showed it to his classmates.

"Hate to break it to you mate, but that's a stuffed animal." Dean paused and Harry shook his head, pulling the snake to his chest.

"Nah ha! Nagini is real!" he spoke vehemently and Seamus snorted. "Mate, it might look a tad real but it ain't scary."

Harry grinned evilly. "Sure it is. Watch." He grabbed the stuffed animal and raised it above his head. "Nagini! Attack!" he cried and threw the doll into a circle of Hufflepuff girls.

At once, everyone in the hall could hear high-pitched screaming and saw all seven teens running away as fast as they can.

Roaring with laughter, Harry turned towards the two boys. "You were saying?"

=-=-=-=-=-cats will rule the world=-=-=-=-=-=

"Five points from Ravenclaw! You too, Higgins!"

Severus Snape tuned around on the spot, glaring menacingly at the students who dared laugh at the forced predicament he was in.

"_Dumbledore_…" He fumed to himself as he made his way back to the teacher's table.

The headmaster, in his infuriating good cheer, has decided to surprise the student body by inflicting absolute torture onto the staff by making them dress up in horrible, horrible costumes. Which he himself has picked out for them. The horror!

He caught a first year staring at him in obvious glee. How was he supposed to terrorize new first years after this?

"Oh, dear boy, you _must_ relax!"

"Relax? I can't believe you made me do this, Dumbledore."

"I didn't make you do anything, Severus. You know that."

Severus snorted and tuned away. True, the headmaster didn't actually make him do anything. But between the two choices Dumbledore gave him, dressing up in this outfit really did seem like the lesser evil. At the time. He's not quite sure anymore.

The old man put his hand on the professor's arm. "I still don't understand why you are complaining? This is exactly what a Genie's supposed to look like. The outfit came out really well!"

Severus sneered. His costume, for lack of a better word, consisted of a tight, blue, half-sheer shirt, thick golden bracelets on each wrist, a small golden earring on the left side, a bright red silk belt, and dark blue Arabian styled pants. Of course, you couldn't ignore the perpetual ring of smoke that twirled around him like a mini tornado, obscuring his feet all the way to his mid-thigh. It truly was ridicules.

"Besides, I don't see the other staff members complaining,"

They looked over to the other teachers. Flitwick was chosen to be a shepherd. He was walking around in green lederhosen, occasionally yodeling for the amusement of the students, while herding a bunch of mini-sheep he himself conjured up.

Hagrid, as big and out-of –place as ever, was trying to calm down a first-year, by the look of it, who was scared of his costume; a red horned devil, with a long pointy tail and pitchfork.

Hooch, who looked completely disgusting with green skin and several moles on her nose, was dressed in a simple black cloak and hat.

Pomona Sprout and Aurora Sinistra sat in the corner of their round table each looking like a medieval princess, complete with a flowing gown and frills, except that sprout had bits of mud and dust all over her clothes.

The only one who Severus thought, got a worse deal than his, was Minerva McGonagall who had been forced to wear a ridicules hair bow with cat ears attached, a long puffed up cat's tail and had her face marked with make up so that she looked like a real cat. Dumbledore had even charmed whiskers on her nose.

"The only reason they are not complaining is because I am sure most are planning revenge, I know I am." Severus growled softly and Albus twinkled even more.

"Look at the bright side dear boy," Severus raised a brow, wondering what in Merlin's name that could be. "At least you're not wearing young Malfoy's costume." Both stared at the sparkling glittery child. Severus shuddered.

"Poof!" Ginny grinned as she tossed more glitter into the air. "Fear my magical fire!" She twirled around Harry who pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Ginny, that's glitter not dragon's fire." He corrected her but she shook her head. "Have you ever seen a Chinese fireball dragon, Harry?" The red head asked and Harry shook his head, after all, even if there was one in fourth year, he missed it as he had to wait in the tent for his turn.

"Then you don't know for sure, do you?" Ginny nodded with a grin and threw another bunch of glitters his way. "Plus I grew up with Charlie so I know better than you do." She laughed and Harry groaned.

"Whatever." He eyed the hall. "Did you see Snape anywhere? I can't seem to find him." He asked his supposed girlfriend who nodded. "Really where? Cause I really need to see him."

"And why would **you** need to see **me**, Potter? Because I can assure you that **I** don't want to see **you**." Came a voice from directly behind him, and as Harry turned around he heard another 'poof' followed by a flash of sparks and knew Ginny ran away from him.

"Because sir…I ….um….. I …..er….." Harry flushed as he saw Snape's outfit. _God, that shirt was practically see-through, what was Dumbledore thinking?_

"Eloquent as ever, Mr. Potter." Snape snorted. "The dark lord, hmm? Only you would be arrogant enough to parade around as the darkest lord in existence." You could tell Snape was eager to vent his frustration on someone. "As if **He** needs any more reasons to want you dead."

Harry flushed. "I'm not arrogant, I just know vold- er.. Tom intimately so it makes sense." He paused. "And I don't mean intimately in that way as that would be gross, I mean not gross because he's a boy but gross as in he's a snake-hybrid. Not that I think that snakes are bad because they're not-"

"Potter! If I wanted to hear you babbling nonsense at me I would have shoved a Babbling beverage down your throat, as it were." The man glared and Harry found himself hard on the spot. "Yes sir." He whispered, hoping to leave for a couple of minutes so he could fix the problem that aroused. (A/n: isn't English the best language ever?)

Snape, however, seemed to have another idea in mind. "What's this potter?" he growled and Harry shot a startled look his way,_ please tell he didn't notice?_ "No _Master_? Or any other such nonsense? What are you playing at now?"

Harry breathed in relief. "Oh no, sir. I'm not playing anything. Not with you. " _yet, _he thought, "in fact, I think it rather inappropriate as you're the genie. So if anything, you should call me master." His brain just caught up with his mouth._ Oh shit._

"Why you insolent despicable wench…." He growled when Harry turned tail and ran, "DETENTION POTTER!" he screamed and more than a few students jumped in fright.

=-=-=-=-We want Castiel -=-=-=-=-=-=-

Meanwhile, at the other end of the great hall…

"DETENTION POTTER!"

"I'm sure that in that little doggie heart of yours you must be very proud of him for landing in detention even in one of the most infamous days of mischief. And because he pissed of the Snape genie. Poor Harry."

The dog at his feet barked twice in agreement and tried once again (in vain) to scratch off the big red glowing ball at the end of his nose.

"Will you cut that out already? You're Rudolph. The Red Nosed Reindeer. It's in the name. Act the part!"

Sirius whined. Not only did he have to wear the stupid big-ass horns on his head that really threatened to make him lose his balance, but he also had to deal with a fake fluffy white tail, brown harness, and worst of all, a stupid, shiny, round, red freaking nose on his… nose. Dammit! And he had to sneeze. Again.

"And don't think you got the worst flavored been in this batch. I'm the Grinch. The **Grinch. **Santa Clause, okay. An Elf, maybe, fine. But the Grinch? Really? What was Dumbledore thinking?"

Sirius wagged his tail and let his tongue hang out. Yup, no matter what, Ramus would never live this down. Ever. He can just imagine taking the micky out of him every time he rants about misbehaving students. He really does hate everything on his off days.

"Oh, shut up." The greenish man told the dog, as if he could actually hear what he's thinking.

"At least… I'm not Malfoy right now."

Sirius had to agree.

=-=-=#$%#$%#%#=-=-#$%#$%$3

"Everyone gather around, I have a surprise for you." Dumbledore, outrageously dressed in his chosen costume (a giant, pink toffee) called out and everyone turned to watch him as the instruments quieted down. "Now will the Hogwarts band come over as well as professor Tonks?"

Those involved came onto the stage and got in the proper positions, each one holding his chosen instrument. Tonks took the baton and stood at the base, getting ready and waiting for Dumbledore to give the signal.

"This next few songs will be played to you by your very own classmates and friends, so if you would?" he motioned to the dance floor and got off the stage.

Tonks nodded and raised her wand. "Ready, one two three." Soon the most beautiful tone emerged from the young students. Cellos, harps, violins and more were mixing with one another in perfect synchronized order and creating a slow song to dance to. Each student giving everything they had as they played the songs they practiced for weeks.

Dumbledore, the first to step onto the dance floor was also the last person to leave it after engaging in a surprisingly passionate waltz with professor McGonagall. She looked a little ruffled and quickly went over to get a glass of punch whilst he got back on the stage.

"Thank you everyone those were truly delightful tunes you indulged us with. And now if you would, I have another even more surprising surprise for you." His eyes twinkled more brightly then ever. "While our dear students have worked hard on the weekends in order to perfect their playing, so have your teachers."

Murmurs broke out as nobody heard of this before. Dumbledore grinned more widely than ever. "If they may have your attention?"

Snape, being the closest to the stage, climbed up first followed by hooch, Sinistra and Tonks herself. Each took an instrument- a tuned guitar for Tonks; Snape picked the violin whilst hooch settled with the cello and Sinistra with the drums.

None of the students headed towards the dance floor but instead watched avidly as their youngest teachers put on a show. At a nod from Tonks, Snape picked up the bow and started a fast paced piece; easily capturing their attention and making their hearts beat in time to the mesmerizing twirls of blue smoke. Soon after hooch joined in from the right, easily matching up with in terms of speed and music style and slowly being backed up by the drum set in the back. Tonks grabbed hold of the magical microphone and as she played her own bit, she sang hard and loud, making all the students burst out in cheers and claps for more.

"He truly is a master." Harry sighed, yelling encouragement louder than anyone else. "Another talent to add to his 'hot' list."

Ginny, who could barely hear him over the loud music, had to agree. "They sure rock!" she cried.

And rock they did, playing several covers to a bunch of songs that only the muggle-raised recognized and sang along to. Hooch had even span her cello around mid-play, getting awed cries from the purebloods, but the truly most amazing part was when Snape and Tonks had preformed a duet together, both singing and playing along to what some recognized as Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas, and Poison by Alice Cooper.

Harry had practically melted when he heard Snape's dark tones singing Poison, and unfortunately noticed he wasn't the only one.

Hmm, he really needed to do something about that. Snape was his, dammit!

Tbc.

-=-=-=-=d-s=-a=-=-=-=-=-=-=

A/n: Looks like Harry has some competition =) we're so smart and pretty and I can go on and on and on and –

SO! I stole the keyboard! And now DikiCat's not getting it back!

-BAM! CRASH! See that I can?

-No! Look what you did! Oh, good, I got the story back on. Stop pouting.

-I'm not doing anything!

-Yet. SO! We were EVER so shocked when we actually, really, authentically got a review from a **BOY**! Shocking, isn't it?

DikiCat: I think it was more shocking that he actually told us that he gets **hard** because of our story and in the **middle of school**…. I thought school only started a few days ago?

Rock_Junkie: no I think it's only in Canada that school really ends after June. Never mind. Anyway! I thought that 99.9% of our readers are faghag girls.

DikiCat: And the other 0.1% are aliens! Or bunnies… *frowns thoughtfully*

Rock_Junkie: *rolls her eyes* sure cat, because bunnies can read… We all know that bunnies give plots but don't read them cause they can't, that's up to the fanfics gods. Are there any more BOYS out there, reading our story?

Aaaand DikiCat almost killed the keyboard.

DikiCat: It started it.

Rock_Junkie: *Sigh* I missed this. Army sucks. And not in the fun, enjoyable kind of way.

DikiCat: Wait, can you skin a skinny cat?

Rock_Junkie: See you next time folks.


	29. No jam today!

Chapter 29: No jam today!

(Disclaimer in chapter 1)

"...Oh yes, fuck harder." The boy moaned as Severus hurried up his thrusts into him. "God!"

"Severus will suffice." The professor murmured, breath leaving in gasps and hands roaming undeterred all over the young supple flesh.

He didn't know how he came to it, but all he knew was that here he was, fucking one Harry Potter, underwater, for an unknown reason.

"Oh God!" Potter screamed once more, his body arching and sending ripples of water everywhere.

"Like it, do you?" Severus growled, hands settling firmly on the boy's thighs, "you need this, you want this!"

"Yes, now, please," Harry moaned, one hand going around his cock and pulling harshly.

"No." Severus slapped his hand away, the pace never breaking. "You'll come when I want you to."

"But sir-" Brokenly.

"Master!" Firmly.

"My master..." Harry moaned, eyes opening and seeing nothing but the blue lake before him. Water was getting into his mouth and yet not chocking him even as he inhaled them on every gasp that Severus pulled out of him.

"Please, now, please!"

He tried to get his hand closed around his cock again, but Severus grabbed his wrists and held them together overhead.

"No."

"Let me come for you, so hot and tight and good for you, just for you, Master..."

"That's right, only me, only mine, mine!"

"Your-"

BANG!

Harry opened his eyes as the loud noise woke him.

"What..."

He quickly lowered his hands from above his head, releasing their grip from the back of the couch's head rest. His legs were open and the tent in his pants was obvious, the wet spot dark on the light PJ's.

He looked around him and saw his homework, unfinished, spread across the reading table's surface. Luckily for him, the couch was facing the wall.

Closing his eyes once more, he tried to will his hard on down. And only half succeeding, he turned to see what caused the noise, but the common room was strangely empty.

Groaning he rubbed his eyes and his crotch in sympathy.

"Well, I hope at least Severus got to finish that dream..."

#$%#$^#$^!#^$&#%&$&#%*%&

Harry scowled, sitting in the back row in Potions class. Snape was sitting, marking some tests at his own desk after setting them all a pop-quiz. An obvious retribution for all the other students laughs at what he precised as his humiliation at Halloween.

Not to mention his tardiness. Which remained, still, unexplained.

Not that Harry minded very much. Even if the test was hard and apparently worth thirty percent of their grade.

One of the girls giggled and Harry's scowl became harsher. This truly aggravated him; the way those girls and a few of the boys were staring dreamily at his master.

"Detention for the girl that giggled." Snape growled, not taking his eyes of the parchment. A friend of the above gasped and Snape spat, "Same to you. I do recall asking for silence."

Harry smiled and quickly went back to his own work. Perhaps the others now realized what he already knew, but it didn't make it any easier for them.

=-d=s-a=f-=sd-f=-ds=-fd=-s=f-ds=-f=s-=

Oh, this is just no good. The staring, the giggling, the pointed fingers, the whispers! Harry was going mad. And he wasn't even the subject, for once.

"You know, jealousy green just doesn't work for you Harry, even with those beautiful eyes of yours."

Harry made a frustrated noise.

"They better all cut it out if they know what's good for them. He's mine, and no one else is allowed to look at him that way."

"Yours? Possessive much, Harry? He didn't even fuck you yet. And besides, I'm pretty sure from all the glaring that he thinks the same way you do. Uh, except the being yours part, of course."

"Funny Ginny." The black haired boy scowled as he grabbed his book bag and hoisted it on his shoulder. "Besides, they don't even know him like I do."

The red headed girl raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh? And how are you any different than them?"

Harry gave a mischievous smirk. "None of them have been in his private rooms." He winked cheekily and Ginny shook her head. "And touched his toothbrush."

_Not to mention being part of his long hot fantasy... _

Laughing the two teens separated to their afternoon classes.

=-sd=-a=-s=d-a=s-d=a-s=d-=a-=-=-=-sd=-a=-sd=a-=sd-=a-=s-d=-as=d-=as-d=s-a=-d

Since Halloween is over and things are getting back to normal (or as it can be, at Hogwarts), the Seventh year students had to pick up their fake babies from their teachers.

And it was Harry's turn.

"WAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Stupid mechanical poop machine! Shut the fuck up, will you?"

Blaise and Pansy walked by him and stopped to stare.

"Told you, you should do what we do, look."

She gave the baby she was holding a sound slap to the head, which made it giggle and drool, and then slammed it hard against the wall, which made it shriek and laugh.

"What the fuck is wrong with that thing?" Harry sounded amazed, even to his own ears.

"Yeah, look at this'"

She put the baby against the wall and let go. The toy, instead of falling off and crying, somehow stayed there, crawling up the wall and laughing.

"Look it's Spider Baby."

"That's really fucked up."

Their eyes followed the thing as it crawled on the ceiling.

"Mr. Potter." McGonagall greeted as she passed. Stopping to stare at the unusual trio of students. "Professor," Harry said weakly, his eyes widening when Blaise and Pansy's baby seemed to stop right above where the Transfiguration teacher was standing.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked, trying to distract McGonagall so that his two Slytherin friends could get the baby down. Unfortunately that meant without magic, since she'd probably sense that.

Minerva sniffed and rubbed her nose, it being still red from her previous attempts at removing the whiskers Dumbledore had charmed. "I wanted to talk to you about your last transfiguration essay."

Harry nodded and she started ranting. Behind her back, Blaise and Pansy were trying to call their baby down. Only it just giggled and cooed at their attempts to reach it.

Mcgonagall paused and turned around, staring at the two students. Seeing them looking back at her innocently she shook her head and turned back to her conversations with Harry.

The Slytherins' attempts to get the baby down turned successful only when Blaise, annoyed, removed his shoe and threw it (with excellent aim) at the baby, which fell right into Pansy's hands.

Quite in time for McGonagall to turn around once more and see the baby in Pansy's arms, now sleeping peacefully.

"I see that you're taking good care of your Muggle project." Her eyes trailed over the toy's body. "Keep it up and you might win the award." She nodded at them and left quickly.

The trio sighed in relief.

=-sd=-sa=-ds=-a=d-=sa-=d-sa=-d=s-=ad-=-a

"Hello Harry." The voice startled him and Harry turned to see Luna standing behind him. "Luna," He paused. "What are you doing here?" He fixed Lyra in her sling.

"I was looking for you, actually." Harry stared and she smiled vaguely, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, and harry quickly looked up in case Blaise' baby was hanging from it again. "the Quibbler sold really fast because of your declaration." She nodded.

Harry paused, wondering for a moment before remembering his 'I'm Voldemort' remark. "Oh." He stared once more. "And?"

"I need an interview now. Dad's orders." She pulled out some parchment and a fluffy orange quill. "It's from the hair of a humbug. Hard to catch, which makes them quite rare as pets."

"So my first question is this: How did you manage to became the Dark Lord when he turned powerful several years before you were born?" she stared at him, her luminous eyes glittering and Harry licked his lips in thought.

"I can't reveal that Luna. I'm sorry."

The girl nodded. "Understandable. Next question: So how does it feel to be the Dark Lord."

Harry smirked. "Feels like I have all the power in the world. So, quite wonderful I must say."

"It's hard to live a double life, in most lines of work. So how does being both the Dark Lord and the Boy-Who-Will-Defeat-Him feel like?"

The Boy-Who-Lived laughed softly. "Hard, Luna. Sometimes I feel as if it's too much, but then I remember why I do it and it makes it easier."

"And why do you do it?"

"That's confidential Luna, I'm afraid, sorry."

"Very well, last question then?" When Harry nodded she continued. "So what will your next move be as the Dark Lord and what will you do now that your secret is out?"

Harry shrugged. "Haven't thought that far yet. You know me- even when I make plans I never follow them. As for my secret... No one can prove a thing." He smirked at her and she stared at him for a moment before tucking her things back inside her bag.

"Do you know where Ginny is, My Lord?" Harry startled at the title before shaking his head. "The library, maybe? I'm not sure."

"Very well." She curtsied and Harry watched her go in confusion.

-=s-d=s-=a-d=s-a=d-sa=-ds=-as=d-=sa-=-d

"That was some interview there, Potter."

Draco walked around a corner and was instantly attacked by a flying, giggling baby.

"Take that thing from me already, it's your turn."

"Why can't we just leave it with McGonagall or something?" He said as he caught it in his arms.

"Tried it when we had to pick it up after Halloween. Said that 'It's your responsibility to care for your child at all times' and 'try to be an adult' and some rubbish. Uch, I'm starting to hate children."

"We'll make a proper pure blood out of you yet."

"Except for that whole part of me being a half blood, you mean."

"Details details..."

Draco seemed to have a real liking to the baby. He started bouncing the baby around in his arms and singing softly. "Lyra luli lola lilly lovely little baby bouncy!"

"I think you may be even gayer then me, Malfoy."

"Oh, shut up."

Y%^&&YY%$&RY&%#&U=-=-=46454^$#^$%^$===-=-=-

Harry was sitting at the Gryffindor table for breakfast, happily enjoying his toast with jam while reading Luna's article, laughing quietly at this little thing and that.

What caught his eye the most were Luna's concluding words:

"...But for now, the true power and reason behind the wonder that is You-Know-Who/ Harry Potter will have to remain hidden, for even though the mystery man walks and plans his secret plans among us, his lips remain, quite sadly, tightly sealed.

For the complete speculation of YNH/HP's reasons and methods of operation, including the ways in which he still stays attractive after implementing them, see page-"

"Honestly Harry, how can you stand reading this rubbish? You know you aren't Voldemort-"

"And why not? I like being somebody else for a change." He cut Hermione off when she opened her mouth to revoke him. "I don't care. This is too fun to pass over."

He stood on the bench and called out loudly. "As the Dark Lord," he noticed students staring at him with frowns and Luna had already pulled out another piece of parchment . "I now declare that..." He paused before nodding seriously. "...Jam is now forbidden! Jam yesterday, jam tomorrow but no jam today!"

All Muggleborn/raised who seemed to get the reference burst out laughing, while others shook their heads. Luna could be seen writing madly, ink flying around her face from the speed.

$%^%$^&#&#%&%RANDOM%&^*^%*(%^

A/N: rock_junkie: heeeelllllllloooooooo?

Is there anybody out there?

Anyone can hear me?

Is there anybody home?

Yes!

DikiCat: We updated! Finally! But really it was rock_junkie's fault!

Rock_junkie: what! *stares*

Dikicat: you're the one who held the stories hostage and didn't want to see me cghg*

No! Look what you've done... *sob* they would have believed me as well...

Rock Junkie: Not my fault! My computer crashed... and all my files died and I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!

Dikicat: ooookay...why don't you give me the keyboard back? Now just rest your pretty little head...-

Rock Junkie: NOT LITTLE!

Dikicat: okay okay! Let's move on...* moves seat away from the obviously possessed teen*

Rock Junkie: I'm almost twenty one!

Dikicat: *frowns* I could have sworn I didn't think that out loud...

Anyway and anyhow- we were busy for a while but as it stands- rock_junkie is now a civilian once more and dikicat is now a commanding officer in the army- yay!

So yeah- we rock! And you must tell us so in a long review!


End file.
